Tracks

01. Downward Spiral Into Madness
02. Complete Demise
03. Better Grieved Than Fooled
04. The Great Juggler
05. Cold Heart Forged In Hell
06. I Would Dream Of Blood
07. Disobedience Pays
08. Children's Laughter
09. Renunciation
10. The Conductor's Departure



01. Downward Spiral Into Madness

Manifestations of eternal spirits
Confused souls of murdered people
Infesting our bodies
Yet so bizarre
You dedicate your lives to exorcism
Indeed, you're the chosen elite
Of this universe

A vicious and dangerous cult
Thrives by exploiting its victims
Enslaved by mind control techniques
And with a mission to sweep aside opposition

You wish to achieve total freedom
Freed from aberrations
But the delusional contents
Of the subconscious mind
Are instead brought to the surface
And presented to you as truth
So your state of "total freedom"
Is nothing but a state of mass paranoia

A vicious and dangerous cult
Thrives by exploiting its victims
Enslaved by mind control techniques
Downward spiral into madness

Enslaved by mind control techniques
Downward spiral into madness


02. Complete Demise

Standing in a pool of blood
Amnesia
My beloved ones in piles
Injustice: I'm alive

Blood on my hands
Now I remember their faces
Horrified, in a moment of despair
So you want to be saved?
Then get out of my way

Because your killer
Can never be your Christ
And I bring nothing
But complete demise

So get out of here
I will only bring you down
Save yourself, I can't help
Because I just can't help myself

Blood on my hands
I can imagine your face
Horrified, in a moment

Because your killer...


03. Better Grieved Than Fooled

Tempted to believe?
Even I, in my solitude
Cried for help and wished for
That someone would be there for me
Better grieved than fooled
And I'm prepared to accept my suffering
To live with pain
Is the price for a life in truth

Me being the only lord
I'm the one who can forgive
And the only one to create
A future worth believing in
But I live a bitter life in truth
And curse its powerless God

I can deeply regret
My clarity of vision
Life had been much easier
To live, getting high on faith
Get a reason to live
Have a blind faith in the future
Forever stoned
Forever blessed in cowardice

Me being the only lord
I'm the only one who can forgive

Better grieved than fooled
So I live a bitter life in truth
And curse its powerless God


04. The Great Juggler

Desperate to be admired
But in the eyes of others, another clown
Spending and spoiling his energy
Forever lost in reverie

Joined the circus at seventeen
For many years, lived his dream
But on the outside where time passes by
The circus performer is still a child

"Look at me now, using torches of fire
Look! Higher than anyone else
I am the great juggler!"
But in the end
When the circus days are gone
Who would dare to depend
On some great juggler?

Circus performers will be turned down
Juggler or not, still a clown
Small is his crowd
Compared to the outside world
Feelings of being left out of it
Always grow

"Look at me now..."


05. Cold Heart Forged In Hell

Searching everywhere
But always in the wrong places
For something
Anything to make me whole
These open wounds don't seem to heal

Something is missing
Probably just the love for myself
I'm trying to compensate it with yours
So I'm just fucking you over
There's no way to win this heart of mine

Cold heart forged in hell
My hell
Against my will

The more I give the less I have left
My body is on fire but my heart is cold
Company is just physical
Inside I'm alone

Take me, I"m all yours, yours and yours!
I give it all
My affection, my body, my services
Exclusively, but just for a while

To put it simple:
I can be The One, you can only be one
No matter how hard I try
It's been so long since I cared
I've almost forgotten how it feels

Cold heart...

Inside I'm always alone
Someone, please break this heart of stone!


06. I Would Dream Of Blood

Rain falls on my sunny memories
In this trampled heart of mine
I feel sick and my knuckles bleed

I was sold by the goddess
Whom I'd worship and adore
But the price was mine to pay
Left burning at the stake
With hands tied
And the battle raging within

Whore
I worshiped you for long and prayed
For a quick death of my heart
Before the fire would untie my hands

Yet at the same time
For long, I would dream of blood
And that the blood on my knuckles
Next time, would not be my own


07. Disobedience Pays

Manacled into submission
You've let go of control
The rules are mine in this game of ours
Face down, don't look at me!
All you feel is my smell
And the steel impossible to wear out
I'm your god, your heaven and hell

Know me, your master
Learn my rules by trial and error
What is accepted
And for what you will be corrected
Disobedience pays

Now submit to my will!
I am mercy, I am pain
Your sovereign, your carer and cane
Let go of all your guilt
I forgive you, my slave
The sound of your cured defiance
Liberates the both of us

Know me...

Lessons in obedience
Cures your unbridled behavior
Disobedience pays

A moment of absolute power
Stuns my feelings of insufficiency


08. Children's Laughter

[Instrumental]


09. Renunciation

What was meant to sleep
Is now awakening
In a second you crush
All that I've tried to rebuild

Insult to injury, time and time again
You play to the gallery
As you act the victim
Self-righteous, self-appointed
Yes I believe
That you believe you're God

So let those without sin
Be the first ones to be crucified
Then let it be known
That you're the one to pity
Instead of those who died

So hear my renunciation of faith

Through all my life
I have crawled on a leash
Never to follow my heart
Or become what I was born to be

A scornful smile
When I found my own way home
Forever criticized
When I failed to achieve your goals
Always too sure of my ground
But am I not
The very image of my God?

Never again shall I drop to my knees
My God owes me an apology

So let those without sin...

Yes, let it be known!
That you're the one to pity
Instead of those who died!


10. The Conductor's Departure

Drawn by a sad melody
I enter this old theater
I walk through corridors
But for the music all is still
I reckon I'm late for the show
Strange to say there is no crowd
But enchanted by the sound
I start to walk down one of two aisles

But as I reach the stage
I find the orchestra motionless
Like frozen in their play
All covered up in cobwebs
Indicating the time that passed

All in their evening attire
Beautiful
Like an old monochrome photograph

Bows lie still on violins' strings
The sound comes no longer
From their instruments
It's but an echo between these walls
And has so been for years
Yet ever so strong

Their eyes focus in the direction
Where the conductor once was stood
He'd rule them from the podium
And they'd anxiously obey
Any gesture he would make

No one could in their wildest dreams
Imagine that he while he'd conduct
Would cast a spell and turn them into
Stone, statuesque, proud but sad
The conductor departed but left this dirge
To accompany their destiny
I panic as I realize
The podium was nobody else's place
But mine

Paralyzed by insight
I'm viewing my own life
All my hopes and dreams
All that could have been
Turned to stone
As I stepped down from my throne