Tracks

01. Back Through Time
02. Shipwrecked
03. The Sunk'n Norwegian
04. Midget Saw
05. Buckfast Powersmash
06. Scraping The Barrel
07. Rum
08. Swashbuckled
09. Rumpelkombo
10. Barrett's Privateers
11. Death Throes Of The Terrorsquid



01. Back Through Time

Twas off some Carribbean shore while on an epic quest
We came across a strange device
A mystic gateway into another time
Where vikings ruled the land and sea

Such mighty treasure they did hold
We killed them all to steal their gold!

You put your faith in Odin and Thor
We put ours in cannons and whores
Your viking gods won't save you now
When pirates strike from the starboard bow

Back through time
To fight the viking foe
Back through time
Where our voyage must now go
Six hundred years into the past
Our destiny is here at last
For infamy and plunder we will ride

Their ships were powerless against our cannonfire
We took no prisoners that day. Yarrr.
The vikings prayed for mercy as we cut their throats
But their worthless gods did not hear their cries


02. Shipwrecked

It's 3 years to the very day
Since a pirate captain said to me
Hey lad come join our crew
Adventure and glory waits for you!

I took his words as gold
Set sail for quests untold
With a bottle of rum in my hand
I dreamed of wealth and foreign lands!

Hey! you're banjaxed!
Hey! you're screwed!
And death is coming for you!
Trapped on an island lost at sea!
Shipwrecked you will cease to be!

Hey! you're banjaxed!
Hey! you're screwed!
And death is coming for you!
Trapped on an island lost at sea!
Shipwrecked your destiny!

On the 16th night at sea
In the depths of toil and misery
We struck a hidden reef
And our ship began to sink beneath

I grabbed some drifting wood
And held on as long as I could
'Til abandoned on a desert isle
Now stuck here 'til the day I die!

Shipwrecked!
Shipwrecked!
Get drunk or die!


03. The Sunk'n Norwegian

There lies a tavern down Wisconsin Way
Where you can get drunk nay time of the day
The landlord's a bastard, the barmaid's a whore
But give them no shit or you're straight out the door

The Sunk'n Norwegian's the name of this hole
A nasty ol' tavern if ever I've known

One more drink, at the Sunk'n Norwegian
One more drink, before we have to die
One more drink, at the Sunk'n Norwegian
Raise up your tankards of ale to the sky!

Scoundrels and brigands and ne'er-do-wells
And creatures dragged up from the black pits of hell
All find their relief in a tankard of ale
So the Sunk'n Norwegian is where we will sail

For barrels of whisky or pints from the bar
But if you don't know
Than you don't go

Drink up my friends, as much as you can
For tomorrow we sail to a faraway land
We'll party all night and get drunk off our heads


04. Midget Saw

Who's that short man, what does he do?
He killed that monkey with his shoe!
Why that monkey? Why his boot?
Cos he had a belly full of loot!

The monkey needs his damn revenge!
That poor creature we'll avenge!

Midget Saw, a deadly fate
Chopped up limbs become shark bait
Midget Saw, the pirate's code
It says that both your legs must go
Hacked to pieces
Ripped to shreds
You're gonna wish that you were dead!

Grab him by his manky hair
And strap him to that table there
This pirate's not gonna walk again
He's in for a world of nasty pain!

Slap that midget with an oar
Remove his legs with a saw!


05. Buckfast Powersmash

From Scotland's bonnie shores we set sail
In search of alcohol, the drunkard's holy grail
Cos a pirates life is empty without booze
The situation's dire, we've got nothing to lose

To England we ride
With vengeance on our minds
We'll kill the monks, and get dead drunk
Come on lads it's cloister burning time

Buckfast Powersmash!
Buckfast Powersmash!
Buckfast Powersmash!
Buckfast Powersmash!

I'm not sure what's in it except caffeine
Despite having drunk it since I was thirteen
It sells by the barrel in China and Spain
I'll get drunk once more on that Lurgan Champagne


06. Scraping The Barrel

For many a-year we have traveled the seas,
Singing songs about pirates and all their misdeeds!
Stories of treasures and great undead foes,
Just a day in the life of a man that I know.
Your legendary prowess in drinking much beer
Recorded in song for all people to hear.
But many avast where we're next gonna sail
The answer lies deep in a barrel of ale!

The are no more tales to be told!
No more stories from battles of old!
Now it seems our journey has come to an end!
We are scraping the barrel my friend!

You may think you've heard all this music before,
That Running Wild did it back in '84
But times are a-changing and we don't give a damn!
So if you don't like it, go start your own band!
Many have told us that we can't go on!
That one day we'll run out of lyrics for songs!
But when the time comes to write album four,
We'll scrape at the barrel once more!


07. Rum

The time has come, the time for a drink
But I don't want whiskey or gin
There's only one drink that gets me so drunk
Until my head starts to spin
Far to the west under tropical sun
The mystical drink is brewed
On our mission to get totally drunk
We have got nothing to lose

Rum is the power
Rum is the key
Rum is the thing that will set us free

Rum Rum Rum
Rum Rum
Rum Rum Rum
Rum Rum
Give me more Rum!

The time has come, the time for a drink
But I don't want vodka or mead
None of these things will quench my thirst
Rum is the drink that I need
Questing the oceans, and questing the seas
Searching for ultimate booze
On our mission to get totally drunk
We have nothing to lose


08. Swashbuckled

Gather round and listen
As I tell you now this tale
The grim legacy of the pirates three
And how their lives ceased to be
I'll tell you know of Redrum
The ginger commodore
He got a case of scurvy rot
And then that bastard was no more

This is the tale of Captain Crashride
By his crew, condemned and damned
And as if this wasn't bad enough
They replace him with a baldy man
Now his ghost haunts the sea
Eternally he's doomed to wander
Mayhaps you'll hear his deathly cries
C'mon son, buy a Honda!

To the end of time we will sail the seas
With cutlasses in hand
We'll terrorize the land
Though the hands of fate may strike us down
We'll fight til we fall
Swashbucklers til we die

This is the tale of Admiral Nobeard
The fattest pirate in the west
He's never seen his balls before
And he needs a bra to hold his breasts
Feared by friends and foe alike
No sword nor gun could wound his flesh
But one day he met his fate
Twas on a pretzel he choked to death


09. Rumpelkombo

Rumpelkombo!


10. Barrett's Privateers

Oh, the year was 1778, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
A letter of marque came from the king,
To the scummiest vessel I'd ever seen,

God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.

Oh, Elcid Barrett cried the town, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
For twenty brave men all fishermen who
would make for him the Antelope's crew

God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.

The Antelope sloop was a sickening sight,HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
She'd a list to the port and her sails in rags
And the cook in scuppers with the staggers and the jags

God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.

On the King's birthday we put to sea, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
We were 91 days to Montego Bay
Pumping like madmen all the way

God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.

On the 96th day we sailed again, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
When a bloody great Yankee hove in sight
With our cracked four pounders we made to fight

God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.

The Yankee lay low down with gold, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
She was broad and fat and loose in the stays
But to catch her took the Antelope two whole days

God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.

Then at length we stood two cables away, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
Our cracked four pounders made an awful din
But with one fat ball the Yank stove us in

God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.

The Antelope shook and pitched on her side, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
Barrett was smashed like a bowl of eggs
And the Maintruck carried off both me legs

God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.

So here I lay in my 23rd year, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
It's been 6 years since we sailed away
And I just made Halifax yesterday

God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.


11. Death Throes Of The Terrorsquid

From the deep there's a terror rising
A great beast with eyes like crimson fire
Leviathan returns to devour the world
Set a course, the time for slaughter
To the heart of the raging oceans blue
This time the beast will meet it's doom
Eternal doom

Legends spoke of the ancient monster
From a time beyond the dawn of time
In a pit of primordial ooze
Many years we have been kept waiting
But tonight that squid will surely die
Revenge is a dish best served fried
Deep fried

Deathsworn, oathbound
On a quest for vengeful slaughter
We sail to the halls of doom
With the black flag raised in the sky
Deathsworn, oathbound
No gods shall be our master
We sail to the halls of doom
With the black flag raised to the sky

With a crash of thunder
Our ship sails 'cross the waves
On a course to the frozen arctic seas
We've defeated vikings
And ninjas we hath slain
The terrorsquid won't escape again
Never again

Poseidon's realm falls silent... THE BEAST HAS AWAKENED!

Between the bounds of light and death
Rides the serpent, uroboros
Supine before the altar of doom
Enter into the cthonic lair

A raging torrent of smoke and fire
Lighting from across the bow
Hear the death throes of the terrorquid
The doom of leviathan draws near

Thunderous volleys from the thirtytwo-pounder gun strike the beast, as our vessel moves in for the killing blow. From the bow of the ship the great harpoon is fired, impaling the through the monsters cursed eyes. With a final scream of terror, Leviathan rears up in defeat, and is vanquished for all eternity.