WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU?

Well, we hope you enjoyed yesterday's hijinks. While we are looking to raise enough revenue through advertising to cover operating costs, by no means would we turn into a metal-oriented adult website and the redirection to our new url, MetalPorn.net was just an April Fool's goof.

As usual, we had the jackwagons who figured it out early and had to post "look at the date!' bright and early on the news thread to ruin the fun rather than just play along. We're also sorry if we inconvenienced any of you with the NSFW images and sounds of yesterday's merry prank. To the one angry user who pm'd BitterCOld in all caps and curses that he was suspended from school when the teacher walked by his desk and heard the screaming female orgasm and braying donkey sounds looped over death metal riffing.... we'd feel bad for you, but hey, you should not have been visiting the site in class.

To the users that played along, we hope you had as much fun with it as we did. And when we said "SHOW ME YOUR DANGERZONES!" we were just kidding. There is not enough booze at the bar to scorch some of the images you sent us from our (now permanently scarred) brains.

And rest assured, the images of "The Devil's Threeway", featuring Marcel and Doc Godin banging Jasmine St. Claire on top of a T-34 tank in an abandoned steel mill were just photoshopped. They really made her airtight on a used mattress in front of a green screen in a lot in Van Nuys, California. As if we could afford tank rental? And yes, Marcel's washboard abs were absolutely real and in no way the product of digital manipulation. Same goes for Doc's superfluous 3rd nipple.

We are also sorry to say for you pervy fapsters, the dream is dead. The installment of Ms Wintersoul's sex advice column/blog, Moan Like Mora, entitled "A Metal Maiden's Masterful Mutual Masturbation Maneuvers Mapped Out", is the one and only entry of this blog, and has since been scrubbed from the internet in the name of common decency. Even teh interw3bs was not ready for smut this ribald and naughty. And while some of us might have lol'd at your dangerzone pics, she didn't find them so amusing. She'll be posting them up on metalfanswithlaughablysmallcocks.org shortly. Pun intended.

So with that is back to normal, with the naughtiest/raciest things on the site being greased up men in loin cloths on album covers and ascii penii in the shout box.

Hope it was as good for you as it was for us!

- The MetalStorm Team