‹‹ Back to the General metal forum Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6
Posts: 160  
Users visited: 711  
Search this topic:  


The original post

Posted by mankvill on 04.01.2008 at 01:19
* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

* FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.

* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

* BLACK METAL
The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.

* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.

* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.



Page 4 of 6

Walter Iego
Author

Posts: 353

Age: 41
From: Sweden

  19.05.2011 at 16:35
Fun post, but what about "Funk Metal"?
king_matt

Posts: 449

Age: 17
From: USA

  22.05.2011 at 19:51
Written by Walter Iego on 19.05.2011 at 16:35

Fun post, but what about "Funk Metal"?

Is that even a real genre?
----
http://www.last.fm/user/King_Matt
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist

Posts: 18673
From: Canada

  22.05.2011 at 20:48
Written by king_matt on 22.05.2011 at 19:51

Written by Walter Iego on 19.05.2011 at 16:35

Fun post, but what about "Funk Metal"?

Is that even a real genre?

Living Colour, Primus, some Faith No More, 24-7 Spyz... It's definitely a genre.
----
Prettier than BloodTears.
Metal_4Ever

Posts: 869

Age: 18
From: Syria

  22.05.2011 at 21:44
Fun Post, but what about "gothic metal" ?
----
My Last Fm Profile
king_matt

Posts: 449

Age: 17
From: USA

  22.05.2011 at 23:27
Written by Troy Killjoy on 22.05.2011 at 20:48

Written by king_matt on 22.05.2011 at 19:51

Written by Walter Iego on 19.05.2011 at 16:35

Fun post, but what about "Funk Metal"?

Is that even a real genre?

Living Colour, Primus, some Faith No More, 24-7 Spyz... It's definitely a genre.

I wouldn't consider Living Colour or Faith No More metal.
----
http://www.last.fm/user/King_Matt
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist

Posts: 18673
From: Canada

  22.05.2011 at 23:33
Written by king_matt on 22.05.2011 at 23:27

I wouldn't consider Living Colour or Faith No More metal.

Probably because they're a branch of alternative metal (and simultaneously alternative rock), meaning they don't fit into the technical genre restrictions of your average metal sub-genre.

Anyway, if funk metal played a part in this game it would be along the lines of mesmerizing the dragon with some slick disco dance moves as the knight electric slides into the cave where the princess is held before wooing her with some more disco dance moves. The dragon returns to the den to join and they all live dance happily ever after.
----
Prettier than BloodTears.
Gonzo666

Posts: 1273

Age: 27
From: USA

  25.05.2011 at 05:15
Alright who put this up on Reddit?
----
http://www.last.fm/user/ChadwickAndo
"In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity."
― Hunter S. Thompson
Void Eater
Crunkcore Fan

Posts: 2234

Age: 20
From: USA

  25.05.2011 at 06:37
Written by Metal_4Ever on 22.05.2011 at 21:44

Fun Post, but what about "gothic metal" ?

The protaganist woulnd't want to save the conformist princess.
----
Joey_Vortex

Posts: 1
From: USA
  23.06.2011 at 04:44
*Stoner Metal
The Protagonist arrives hours late stoned out of his mind, smokes with the dragon, and they both forget about the princess and search for food.
Guib

Posts: 2066

Age: 23
From: Canada

  23.06.2011 at 16:06
Thrash Metal* correction
The Protagonist arrives at the castle with a beer in his hand... he jumps on the dragon and starts a circle pit that destroys the castle entirely and leaves, drunk, with the princess on his shoulder, still with a beer in his hand.

Technical Death Metal*
The Protagonist arrives at the castle, he growls at the dragon and this one dies because of bad breath... he finally leave intact without the princess because princesses are way too mainstream.
----
- I love my technical, melodic, my thrash, agressive and fast paced, my sludge, well thought, my heavy, heavier and my metal, ever-growing -
Walter Iego
Author

Posts: 353

Age: 41
From: Sweden

  28.06.2011 at 14:20
I hope the bands don't read this, it would either put a smile on their face, or an ax in our backs...
Yavanna

Posts: 593

Age: 24
From: Brazil

  28.06.2011 at 14:39
Anyway, if I were the princess, I would prefer staying with the dragon, than being saved by anyone of this "heroes"
I could tell people then: Hey, did you know I have a Dragon at home?
----
Carry me to the shoreline
Bury me in the sand
Walk me across the water
And maybe you'll understand
JD
Kafir

Posts: 4031

Age: 25
From: Germany

  28.06.2011 at 15:50
Written by Yavanna on 28.06.2011 at 14:39

Anyway, if I were the princess, I would prefer staying with the dragon, than being saved by anyone of this "heroes"
I could tell people then: Hey, did you know I have a Dragon at home?

Or..or if i were the Dragon, i will kill you then eat you
----
"The Bees Made Honey In The Lion's Skull"
ANGEL REAPER

Posts: 3160

Age: 23
From: Serbia

  28.06.2011 at 20:16
Written by JD on 28.06.2011 at 15:50

Written by Yavanna on 28.06.2011 at 14:39

Anyway, if I were the princess, I would prefer staying with the dragon, than being saved by anyone of this "heroes"
I could tell people then: Hey, did you know I have a Dragon at home?

Or..or if i were the Dragon, i will kill you then eat you

i listen to black metal so by this list i am the Dragon....
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
JD
Kafir

Posts: 4031

Age: 25
From: Germany

  28.06.2011 at 20:19
Written by ANGEL REAPER on 28.06.2011 at 20:16

Written by JD on 28.06.2011 at 15:50

Written by Yavanna on 28.06.2011 at 14:39

Anyway, if I were the princess, I would prefer staying with the dragon, than being saved by anyone of this "heroes"
I could tell people then: Hey, did you know I have a Dragon at home?

Or..or if i were the Dragon, i will kill you then eat you

i listen to black metal so by this list i am the Dragon....

So that's make me either the unicorn or princess?
----
"The Bees Made Honey In The Lion's Skull"
ANGEL REAPER

Posts: 3160

Age: 23
From: Serbia

  28.06.2011 at 20:39
Written by JD on 28.06.2011 at 20:19

Written by ANGEL REAPER on 28.06.2011 at 20:16

Written by JD on 28.06.2011 at 15:50

Written by Yavanna on 28.06.2011 at 14:39

Anyway, if I were the princess, I would prefer staying with the dragon, than being saved by anyone of this "heroes"
I could tell people then: Hey, did you know I have a Dragon at home?

Or..or if i were the Dragon, i will kill you then eat you

i listen to black metal so by this list i am the Dragon....

So that's make me either the unicorn or princess?

well Yavanna already declare herself as the princess so ....
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
JD
Kafir

Posts: 4031

Age: 25
From: Germany

  28.06.2011 at 21:18
Written by ANGEL REAPER on 28.06.2011 at 20:39

well Yavanna already declare herself as the princess so ....

Ohh so that's means i'm the Dragon, thanks REAPER
----
"The Bees Made Honey In The Lion's Skull"
ANGEL REAPER

Posts: 3160

Age: 23
From: Serbia

  28.06.2011 at 21:27
Written by JD on 28.06.2011 at 21:18

Written by ANGEL REAPER on 28.06.2011 at 20:39

well Yavanna already declare herself as the princess so ....

Ohh so that's means i'm the Dragon, thanks REAPER

well as far as i know virgins (as most princesses are) can attract unicorns so ... i dont mind.... as long as i get the princess....
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
JD
Kafir

Posts: 4031

Age: 25
From: Germany

  28.06.2011 at 21:32
Written by ANGEL REAPER on 28.06.2011 at 21:27

Written by JD on 28.06.2011 at 21:18

Written by ANGEL REAPER on 28.06.2011 at 20:39

well Yavanna already declare herself as the princess so ....

Ohh so that's means i'm the Dragon, thanks REAPER

well as far as i know virgins (as most princesses are) can attract unicorns so ... i dont mind.... as long as i get the princess....

Ok, you take the princess, you know her better than me, but i hope she don't mind.
----
"The Bees Made Honey In The Lion's Skull"
ANGEL REAPER

Posts: 3160

Age: 23
From: Serbia

  28.06.2011 at 21:34
Written by JD on 28.06.2011 at 21:32

Written by ANGEL REAPER on 28.06.2011 at 21:27

Written by JD on 28.06.2011 at 21:18

Written by ANGEL REAPER on 28.06.2011 at 20:39

well Yavanna already declare herself as the princess so ....

Ohh so that's means i'm the Dragon, thanks REAPER

well as far as i know virgins (as most princesses are) can attract unicorns so ... i dont mind.... as long as i get the princess....

Ok, you take the princess, you know her better than me, but i hope she don't mind.

agreed
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
SSM
Abandoned

Posts: 215
From: Iran

  29.06.2011 at 00:05
* FUNERAL DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrival takes hundred years, finally the protagonist arrives,
the princess and the dragon are both dead and gone, it would take the protagonist another hundred years to realize this.
Xim
Rocker of Worlds

Posts: 273

Age: 24
From: Canada

  29.06.2011 at 00:36
*DRONE METAL
The protagonist takes several months to arrive. Once he finally arrives he plays a note so low that the dragon shits himself to death, sadly the princess does also.

*AVANTGARDE DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, rapes the dragon to death and saves the princess, only to rape her to death with a trombone while wearing the dragon's face as a mask.
JD
Kafir

Posts: 4031

Age: 25
From: Germany

  29.06.2011 at 14:31
*RAP CORE\RAP METAL
The protagonist arrives with his red car, he says: "lets rollin baby", then he kill the dragon with his baseball stick, fucks the princess "hardcore style" after sex, he cries on her lap.
----
"The Bees Made Honey In The Lion's Skull"
Yavanna

Posts: 593

Age: 24
From: Brazil

  14.07.2011 at 03:29
Written by ANGEL REAPER on 28.06.2011 at 21:34

Written by JD on 28.06.2011 at 21:32

Written by ANGEL REAPER on 28.06.2011 at 21:27

Written by JD on 28.06.2011 at 21:18

Written by ANGEL REAPER on 28.06.2011 at 20:39

well Yavanna already declare herself as the princess so ....

Ohh so that's means i'm the Dragon, thanks REAPER

well as far as i know virgins (as most princesses are) can attract unicorns so ... i dont mind.... as long as i get the princess....

Ok, you take the princess, you know her better than me, but i hope she don't mind.

agreed

what kind of discussion was this?
it would be great having a dragon and a unicorn for me... I could sell tickets if people wanna come and see them, since such creatures are rare (well, some of the people would have to be feed to the dragon, the unicorn eats grass, and is enough)
----
Carry me to the shoreline
Bury me in the sand
Walk me across the water
And maybe you'll understand
BeastOfMetal456
Account deleted
  26.07.2011 at 03:13
Written by SSM on 29.06.2011 at 00:05

* FUNERAL DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrival takes hundred years, finally the protagonist arrives,
the princess and the dragon are both dead and gone, it would take the protagonist another hundred years to realize this.

Nice idea.
Pjotr

Posts: 1
From: Belgium
  19.08.2011 at 16:19
* HARDCORE/METALCORE/ ?
The protagonist screams his lungs out, slays the dragon with a combination of violant moves and powerfull slowmotion action, growling some stuff that doesn't make any sense, rushes to the princess and takes the time for a few beautifull notes and lets his bassplayer sing some clean emotional stuff that move the princess deeply ... they fuck her and proceed to the next castle.
Gonzo666

Posts: 1273

Age: 27
From: USA

  19.08.2011 at 22:38
Fuck Genres, to much to remember. We have band names, lets use them.
----
http://www.last.fm/user/ChadwickAndo
"In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity."
― Hunter S. Thompson
Yavanna

Posts: 593

Age: 24
From: Brazil

  19.08.2011 at 22:43
Written by Gonzo666 on 19.08.2011 at 22:38

Fuck Genres, to much to remember. We have band names, lets use them.

I couldn't have said it better
----
Carry me to the shoreline
Bury me in the sand
Walk me across the water
And maybe you'll understand
Gonzo666

Posts: 1273

Age: 27
From: USA

  20.08.2011 at 02:58
Written by Yavanna on 19.08.2011 at 22:43

Written by Gonzo666 on 19.08.2011 at 22:38

Fuck Genres, to much to remember. We have band names, lets use them.

I couldn't have said it better

Thank you. Honestly why else are they there then?
----
http://www.last.fm/user/ChadwickAndo
"In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity."
― Hunter S. Thompson
!J.O.O.E.!
Thought Police

Posts: 15240

Age: 30
From: UK

  20.08.2011 at 03:06
Written by Gonzo666 on 20.08.2011 at 02:58

Thank you. Honestly why else are they there then?

To give people something to argue about over the internet.
----

Advertise on Metal Storm
Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6


Login or register to post here.



Similar topics

Forum Topic Similarity Started
General metal forum Metal Elitism - Elitism Of The Genre Over Others 7.5 25.08.2011 by Zealot644
General metal forum The Band that Invented Metal 7.5 01.06.2006 by Lupas
General website discussion Are there official descriptions of the different genres on the site? 6.5 12.05.2012 by Ace Frawley
Alternative metal forum What's the difference between Metalcore and Nu Metal? 6 11.10.2011 by
General metal forum Doom is/isnt an extreme metal genre 6 17.10.2009 by