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101 rules of Deathcore



101 rules of Deathcore

Posted by: GutturalNinja
Date: 25.07.2009

8.5 | 36 votes

The key of being a brutal scene kid!
The following may have been written with animosity, yet for entertainment purposes only!

1. Have a cool MySpace layout
2. You are a really popular guy at school or a lonely emo kid
3. You can't be something in between
4. You don't listen only to Deathcore, you also like The Faceless and The Black Dahlia Murder
5. The new Job for A Cowboy record is so lame; you prefer the 'old' stuff with a lot of bree bree grunts.
6. You don't give a shit what people think
7. But be constantly involved in a fight over the internet.
8. Your band logo must be real' br00tal.
9. But your band name is in fact Rose Funeral or Bring Me the Horizon.
10. Be br00tal, but not too much 'cause eating babies and having sex with corpses is kind of disgusting.
11. Instead, sing about personal struggles, society and love.
12. Listen (or make believe you do) to at least 3 or 4 death metal band to higher your credibility.
13. Be Christian.
14. Dress like a gangster but wear a Suffocation shirt.
15. The stuff you listen to must be fresh and less than 10 years old because the 90's are over now.
16. Ruin a song with random breakdowns.
17. You're allowed to listen to rap and metalcore/screamo.
18. Label yourself as "Gore not Core" even if you're Waking the Cadaver.
19. Change musical direction after 2 albums because trends don't last.
20. Or label yourself as Death Metal because people made bad critics about your band being poser metal.
21. Never review a band/album on any metal websites.
22. Because if you like that album, people will call you names.
23. Wear tight jeans and stretch earrings.
24. Be shy and by yourself at concerts.
25. Because we know you came for the opening band.
26. But you might dance like a ninja on steroids if you are with some friends.
27. But don't mosh.
28. Inhale scream (or bree bree grunt if you're more br00tal).
29. When your band is on a line-up with metal acts, your band mates must wear their DEATH METAL shirts.
30. So the crowd can appreciate your music.
31. Headline a 20 year old Death Metal band.
32. You have discovered Cryptopsy because of The Unspoken King.
33. Look like your girlfriend.
34. Get signed by Metal Blade for your very first release
35. After one EP onlyt, release a lot of merch.
36. I mean tons and tons of merch.
37. Musical content is the least important part about your band.
38. Use the word "brutal" a lot.
39. Overuse it desperately.
40. You don't know what black metal is.
41. Sound exactly the same as the 5 other bands on the tour.
42. Look like a queer.
43. You're forbidden to have long hair because it's dirty and you don't want to look poor.
44. You listen to girly metal.
45. Dress like any kid on the street.
46. as long as you fit in.
47. Your band's T-shirts are full of flashy colors with rainbow sentences on the back.
48. You have a lot of friends on Facebook.
49. By looking at you, people must not know you listen to metal.
50. Metalheads are so unpopular.
51. Have brutal and unoriginal band names such as Dance Club Massacre, Annotations of an Autopsy or I Killed the Prom Queen.
52. You're only touring because the tour promoter want to make some money.
53. Old School Stuff sucks.
54. Insult emos.
55. Even though you're probably one.
56. Convince people to lower their pants and cut their hairs.
57. But do it over the internet.
58. Or else people are going to call you pussy.
59. But people will also call you pussy on the internet, see rule #7.
60. You must at least have an emo, a gangster and a bald guy with stretch earrings in your band.
61. Teacher-looking guys are also accepted.
62. You're a slave to trends.
63. You must encourage metal to be mainstream and popular.
64. Make heavy music but make sure to look like a fag.
65. Go at Summer Slaughter every year.
66. Have a user name similar to 'XxHrdCoreDeathStrikerxX'.
67. Say you're unique and so special and that's why there are so many haters
68. But in fact, you look like most of the kids around you.
69. Wear a cap.
70. When hardcore dancing at a show, make sure not to hit anyone but keep kicking and punching the wind.
71. You will be socially accepted.
72. You won't be alone, there might be 3 or 4 other ninjas fighting with you.
73. Haircuts are metal.
74. You do not own any of your CDs.
75. Who needs CDs when you have LimeWire.
77. Oh, and never mosh/hardcore dance during a non-breakdown part!
78. You have a blog.
79. You have a Youtube video of you trying to pig squeal over your favourite song.
80. Why bother trying to finish your song with another great part?
81. Just put a breakdown.
82. Kids love them.
83. And they sure are easy to make.
84. You never run out of breakdowns.
85. Because they all sounds the same.
86. And are catchy.
87. But in fact are weak and unoriginal.
88. And the fact that you have blast beats in your song will make it good and compensate for your cheap breakdowns.
89. Remember, hate emos.
90. They are so uncool.
91. You are cool because you wear a cap, see rule #69.
92. Steal riffs from other bands.
93. Cover nü metal songs.
94. Make grammatical errors in your lyrics.
95. Do not EVER print a T-shirt with something on the back.
96. EVER!
97. It's forbidden.
76. I forgot rule #76 so here it is.
98. Be gay.
99. Don't cry, you're a big boy now.
100. I now realise that rule #95 contradict with rule #47.
101. Whine about the above on the comment space.




Comments page 2 / 3

Comments: 89   Visited by: 494 users
20.12.2010 - 05:24
Urizen367

Written by Lilkmo on 22.11.2010 at 21:46

Written by Urizen367 on 15.08.2009 at 00:33



when someone starts actually moshing during a breakdown, gang up on him. cause hitting people in a mosh pit is just not brutal. then after the fight, deny anything, call the cops, and get the show shut down (this happens a lot in south carolina, not sure about elsewhere)


No, this has happened a few times at a couple little venues around my area, and I live in Illinois.


god. is there a handbook that comes with being a hardcore kid??
----
I will not reason and compare, my business is to create.
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17.07.2011 - 08:22
Void Eater
Account deleted
I thought this was gonna be similar to Thryce's recent 'getting into deathcore' article, complete with br00tal 1337 sp43k nd fuken it up inz da pit br00tality. Oh well. Really, this was to obvious to be all that funny.
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09.08.2011 - 21:54
JD
Account deleted
The new Job for A Cowboy record is so lame; you prefer the 'old' stuff with a lot of bree bree grunts.
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09.08.2011 - 23:46
Metal_4Ever

BE GAY..!!
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10.08.2011 - 03:38
WolfOfMetal456
Account deleted
Written by Metal_4Ever on 09.08.2011 at 23:46

BE GAY..!!

I think this is the wrong thread, if you know what I mean!
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10.08.2011 - 03:41
Metal_4Ever

Written by Guest on 10.08.2011 at 03:38

Written by Metal_4Ever on 09.08.2011 at 23:46

BE GAY..!!

I think this is the wrong thread, if you know what I mean!

No it's the right one.
P.S. you're a Death Metal fan What a shame
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10.08.2011 - 03:42
WolfOfMetal456
Account deleted
Written by Metal_4Ever on 10.08.2011 at 03:41

Written by Guest on 10.08.2011 at 03:38

Written by Metal_4Ever on 09.08.2011 at 23:46

BE GAY..!!

I think this is the wrong thread, if you know what I mean!

No it's the right one.
P.S. you're a Death Metal fan What a shame

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11.08.2011 - 04:38
Parasomnia

Written by Guest on 28.02.2010 at 04:06

Wow...how uncorrect can you get? Try actually investigating Deathcore culture before you insult them, or hell, listen to the music

Haaha, that's not that hard to listen to the music. You listen to one band, you know the entire fucking genre. You gotta have screaming, possibly death growl's (that never get low enough to actually be called death growl's) and have a shit ton of breakdowns, because the remarkable lack of technicality make's the music boring, and breakdowns are cool live. That pretty much makes up the genre
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12.08.2011 - 23:57
Void Eater
Account deleted
Written by Parasomnia on 11.08.2011 at 04:38

Written by Guest on 28.02.2010 at 04:06

Wow...how uncorrect can you get? Try actually investigating Deathcore culture before you insult them, or hell, listen to the music

Haaha, that's not that hard to listen to the music. You listen to one band, you know the entire fucking genre. You gotta have screaming, possibly death growl's (that never get low enough to actually be called death growl's) and have a shit ton of breakdowns, because the remarkable lack of technicality make's the music boring, and breakdowns are cool live. That pretty much makes up the genre

That makes up the vast, vast, vast, (vast) majority of the genre, band bands such as Rings of Saturn, Born of Osiris, and The Contortionist manage to break out of the generic 'crappy riff-breakdown-slowerbreakdown-quasi melodic riff-catch phrase to print on t-shirts-br00talest breakdown on the song' type deathcore.

Even they still wear caps though...
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13.08.2011 - 03:44
Lit.
Account deleted
This new-fangled music makes me feel so old.
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13.08.2011 - 22:56
Marcel Hubregtse
Grumpy Old Fuck
Written by Guest on 13.08.2011 at 03:44

This new-fangled music makes me feel so old.



If it already makes you feel old, then imagine what it makes me feel? ;-)

Hell when I started listeneing to metal there was just heavy metal, one or two years later there was also NWOBHM and that evolved into a gazzilion styles imagine the head spins I have done
----
Member of the true crusade against European Flower Metal

Yesterday is dead and gone, tomorrow is out of sight
Dawn Crosby (r.i.p.)
05.04.1963 - 15.12.1996

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25.10.2011 - 00:51
metalheadpunk
Account deleted
Haha deathcore is for faggots and pussys
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25.10.2011 - 01:06
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 00:51
Haha deathcore is for faggots and pussys

----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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25.10.2011 - 01:10
metalheadpunk
Account deleted
Written by Troy Killjoy on 25.10.2011 at 01:06

Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 00:51
Haha deathcore is for faggots and pussys





so what? you like deathcore? then get the fuck off this site, its for metal
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25.10.2011 - 01:13
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 01:10
so what? you like deathcore? then get the fuck off this site, its for metal

I keep forgetting I shouldn't be here because I like deathcore.

But you know what, I think I'll stay. I'll stay and I'll keep hardcore dancing to my favorite bands while you play your gay-ass death metal.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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25.10.2011 - 01:16
metalheadpunk
Account deleted
Written by Troy Killjoy on 25.10.2011 at 01:13

Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 01:10
so what? you like deathcore? then get the fuck off this site, its for metal

I keep forgetting I shouldn't be here because I like deathcore.

But you know what, I think I'll stay. I'll stay and I'll keep hardcore dancing to my favorite bands while you play your gay-ass death metal.


I dont listen to alot of death metal. I listen to thrash metal, get it right you emo bitch.
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25.10.2011 - 01:17
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 01:16
I dont listen to alot of death metal. I listen to thrash metal, get it right you emo bitch.

What and you think thrash metal is better than deathcore? Are you serious? That shit's so outdated. Deathcore is REAL metal, the new face of metal. Your old, dying thrash will never compete. You and the rest of the "true crusaders" won't have a website left once deathcore rules the metal world, and we won't let you on our websites.

BOOM
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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25.10.2011 - 01:23
metalheadpunk
Account deleted
Written by Troy Killjoy on 25.10.2011 at 01:17

Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 01:16
I dont listen to alot of death metal. I listen to thrash metal, get it right you emo bitch.

What and you think thrash metal is better than deathcore? Are you serious? That shit's so outdated. Deathcore is REAL metal, the new face of metal. Your old, dying thrash will never compete. You and the rest of the "true crusaders" won't have a website left once deathcore rules the metal world, and we won't let you on our websites.

BOOM



Haha look kid, you just jumped on a fucking band-wagon, you probably like deathcore because its popular right now, your just a scene kid. The good thing about real metal such as thrash is that it never dies man, its been around since 1981 and its never gonna die, there are stll countless bands from the 80's still kicking ass, plus there are alot of newer bands that are keeping it alive. Deathcore will die down just like grunge and hair metal did. Shit kid, even those are better than deathcore, at least their frontmen actually new how to sing and not just suck on dick through the microphone.
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25.10.2011 - 01:31
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 01:23
Haha look kid, you just jumped on a fucking band-wagon, you probably like deathcore because its popular right now, your just a scene kid. The good thing about real metal such as thrash is that it never dies man, its been around since 1981 and its never gonna die, there are stll countless bands from the 80's still kicking ass, plus there are alot of newer bands that are keeping it alive. Deathcore will die down just like grunge and hair metal did. Shit kid, even those are better than deathcore, at least their frontmen actually new how to sing and not just suck on dick through the microphone.

Actually I like deathcore because it offers a lot more musically than any other metal genre. It's the most brutal, explosive, progressive style of music I've ever listened to. That old thrash stuff doesn't have a place in modern times. Once you dinosaurs all die out the rest of the world will only remember the true greats like Suicide Silence and Whitechapel. Nobody will even remember who Metallica was.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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25.10.2011 - 01:44
brapp32

I can't even type this shit is so funny. I'm not sure what is funnier him calling you an emo bitch or him thinking you are actually serious.
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25.10.2011 - 01:46
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Written by brapp32 on 25.10.2011 at 01:44
I'm not sure what is funnier him calling you an emo bitch or him thinking you are actually serious.

Actually I think being called "kid" by someone younger than me is always funny.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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25.10.2011 - 01:49
brapp32

Yeah I caught that to. Shit is to funny.
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25.10.2011 - 01:51
metalheadpunk
Account deleted
Written by Troy Killjoy on 25.10.2011 at 01:31

Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 01:23
Haha look kid, you just jumped on a fucking band-wagon, you probably like deathcore because its popular right now, your just a scene kid. The good thing about real metal such as thrash is that it never dies man, its been around since 1981 and its never gonna die, there are stll countless bands from the 80's still kicking ass, plus there are alot of newer bands that are keeping it alive. Deathcore will die down just like grunge and hair metal did. Shit kid, even those are better than deathcore, at least their frontmen actually new how to sing and not just suck on dick through the microphone.

Actually I like deathcore because it offers a lot more musically than any other metal genre. It's the most brutal, explosive, progressive style of music I've ever listened to. That old thrash stuff doesn't have a place in modern times. Once you dinosaurs all die out the rest of the world will only remember the true greats like Suicide Silence and Whitechapel. Nobody will even remember who Metallica was.



If you think Metallica is thrash man then you are more of an retard than i thought you were, they used to be thrash but not anymore man, and if you want music thats progressive then listen to Rush or Dream Theater. If you want brutal then listen to Cannibal Coprse or Slayer. Musically? Thats a fail too, breakdowns are pure shit, and just because someone can do the double bass forever doesnt make them a good drummer, screaming is not singing, and where are the guitar solos? I dont think ive ever heard a guitar or at least a decent one from a deathcore band. Metal musicians create music man (I will say that deathcore is better than rap though), and deathcore doesnt seem very musically inclined. All of the thrash bands have excellent riffs, solos, vocals, drum and even bass lines. Especially if you get into techincal thrash like Coroner, or even Megadeth, Dave Mustiane truly knows how to write music, plus musicians like Dimebag Darrell of Pantera or Chuck Shuldiner of Death (Death is more of a death metal band but have alot of thrash elements) R.I.P. both of them. All those plus many more musicians of thrash and classic metals are way more talented than any deathcore band.
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25.10.2011 - 01:55
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 01:51
If you think Metallica is thrash man then you are more of an retard than i thought you were, they used to be thrash but not anymore man, and if you want music thats progressive then listen to Rush or Dream Theater. If you want brutal then listen to Cannibal Coprse or Slayer. Musically? Thats a fail too, breakdowns are pure shit, and just because someone can do the double bass forever doesnt make them a good drummer, screaming is not singing, and where are the guitar solos? I dont think ive ever heard a guitar or at least a decent one from a deathcore band. Metal musicians create music man (I will say that deathcore is better than rap though), and deathcore doesnt seem very musically inclined. All of the thrash bands have excellent riffs, solos, vocals, drum and even bass lines. Especially if you get into techincal thrash like Coroner, or even Megadeth, Dave Mustiane truly knows how to write music, plus musicians like Dimebag Darrell of Pantera or Chuck Shuldiner of Death (Death is more of a death metal band but have alot of thrash elements) R.I.P. both of them. All those plus many more musicians of thrash and classic metals are way more talented than any deathcore band.

----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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25.10.2011 - 01:56
brapp32

Guitar solos are gay
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25.10.2011 - 01:59
metalheadpunk
Account deleted
Written by Troy Killjoy on 25.10.2011 at 01:55

Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 01:51
If you think Metallica is thrash man then you are more of an retard than i thought you were, they used to be thrash but not anymore man, and if you want music thats progressive then listen to Rush or Dream Theater. If you want brutal then listen to Cannibal Coprse or Slayer. Musically? Thats a fail too, breakdowns are pure shit, and just because someone can do the double bass forever doesnt make them a good drummer, screaming is not singing, and where are the guitar solos? I dont think ive ever heard a guitar or at least a decent one from a deathcore band. Metal musicians create music man (I will say that deathcore is better than rap though), and deathcore doesnt seem very musically inclined. All of the thrash bands have excellent riffs, solos, vocals, drum and even bass lines. Especially if you get into techincal thrash like Coroner, or even Megadeth, Dave Mustiane truly knows how to write music, plus musicians like Dimebag Darrell of Pantera or Chuck Shuldiner of Death (Death is more of a death metal band but have alot of thrash elements) R.I.P. both of them. All those plus many more musicians of thrash and classic metals are way more talented than any deathcore band.




Kinda looks like Anthrax's N.O.T. Guy, some deathcore kid probably stole it and modified it to fit their gay deathcore shit. But how bout this kid, you shut the hell up and i will as well, unless you'd like some more ass kicking?
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25.10.2011 - 02:06
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 01:59
But how bout this kid, you shut the hell up and i will as well, unless you'd like some more ass kicking?

Does your boyfriend know you're such an asshole to strangers online?
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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25.10.2011 - 02:09
brapp32

Hahahahahahahahaha.
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25.10.2011 - 02:11
metalheadpunk
Account deleted
Written by Troy Killjoy on 25.10.2011 at 02:06

Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 01:59
But how bout this kid, you shut the hell up and i will as well, unless you'd like some more ass kicking?

Does your boyfriend know you're such an asshole to strangers online?


Thats original you inbred son of a bitch, if i wanted a good comeback i would have gotten it out of your mom's ass, now shut the hell up.
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25.10.2011 - 02:12
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Written by Guest on 25.10.2011 at 02:11
Thats original you inbred son of a bitch, if i wanted a good comeback i would have gotten it out of your mom's ass, now shut the hell up.

You would make a joke about anal sex...

Do you really not know what trolling is?
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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