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Rotting Christ - Aealo review




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Band: Rotting Christ
Album: Aealo
Release date: February 2010


01. Aealo
02. Eon Aenaos
03. Δαιμόνων Bρῶσις (Daemonon Vrosis)
04. Noctis Era
05. Dub-Saĝ-Ta-Ke
06. Fire, Death And Fear
07. Nekron Iahes...
08. ...Pir Threontai
09. Thou Art Lord
10. Santa Muerte
11. Orders From The Dead [Diamanda Galás cover]

Melodic Black metal
Recorded: Lunatach Studios, Greece 2009
Label: Season Of Mist
Total Running Time: 50:04



Only if you've been living under a giant rock - or under the beer belly of Tankard vocalist Andreas Geremia - would you be unaware Rotting Christ released a new album last month. There was a heap of buzz about the successor of the mighty Theogonia and, unsurprisingly, the internet is now flooded with so-called in-depth reviews. In normal circumstances, Metal Storm likes to separate the wheat from the chaff, ie. the specialized analysis from whatever McDonalds worker's opinion. But for once we are giving the floor to the "special" kind of reviews to get the message through.


The rehab review: Dude, remember that time Rotting Christ won a MS Award for Black metal album of 2007? Jeezes, what were you guys smoking back then? Somewhere, Euronymous was freaking out in his grave. Anyway, now the band tried too hard to chase the Theogonia dragon again, seemingly without getting some snacks and sleep first. On several parts they sound a bit tired, benumbed and spaced out. Rotting Christ won't pull it off winning another Award this year, unless of course you guys are totally tripping... again.


The everybody knows he's gay except the guy himself review: Alright, I'm just going to come out and say it. If I ever decide to "accidentally" drop my keys in front of someone, it ought to be Rotting Christ. If only Aealo would have rocked at least half as hard as some of their previous releases, this band could have had their way with me. But the album isn't really a turn-on: it's good, but it's far from a metalheads' wet dream.


Review of the people having the same IQ as a jar of raisins*: Wooooooooooooooow!

* this also applies to the hardcore fanboys who already labeled the album as a masterpiece before the whole thing was recorded.


The movie nerd review: Aealo wants so hard to be ancient-sounding and war-themed, it sometimes seems more like a wannabe 300 movie soundtrack than a Rotting Christ record. And what would Captain Picard do when he hears the mixing/molesting of the vocals? The typical harsh vocals and barks are definitely not what they used to be. By times they even sound annoyingly similar to Gollum-like grunts and shrieks; not so precious.


The guest review that is duller than the actual album: Overall, Aealo is a middle of the warpath release. Though Rotting Christ is more ethnic-sounding than ever, it's still not a right portrait of the band's colossal grandeur. The album could use some fresh coffee... er, scratch that one. Anyway, the album unfortunately bares not enough potential to grow on you, and leaves a rather stale and uninspired impression (pretty much like this text - Ed.). The album certainly has its wide awake moments - especially the ones where the album features some interesting contributions and guest vocalists. Those can be considered the highlight of the... zzz (reviewer fell asleep during his own review).


Alexi Laiho's review: This shit is slightly above moderate shit. And it sure as fuck ain't THE shit some of you maggots claim. I mean, come the fuck on, it's Rotting mothafuckin' Christ, y'know. Somewhere in those twenty-three years it has been done already. Most likely by the band itself, y'know what I'm sayin'.


The school counselor review: You barely passed for your report on the fieldtrip to the ancient glories of Hellas, Sakis Tolis. We know you could do much better. Just try a little harder next time, mmkay.


Well, this was fun. And by fun, I mean of course emotionally scarring. In case you aren't blessed with a firm grasp of the obvious, the main conclusion is Aealo evokes too much mixed feelings. To me personally, this album showed a Rotting Christ that was neither tempting nor convincing. Pretty much like a beautiful hooker with a chastity belt.

Written by Thryce | 20.03.2010




Comments

Comments: 30   [ 1 ignored ]   Visited by: 549 users
21.03.2010 - 00:36
White Winter Sun
Laboratory's Rat
Haha, this review can be called something really Special and entertaining. Nice job
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21.03.2010 - 04:51
Got Mayhem?

Ah, that picture of Tankard has just reminded me that I REALLY want one of those Peavey's. Off I go to remember the name of the damn model now...
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21.03.2010 - 04:51
Rating: 6
Ask

Ha, good read. The album was pretty disappointing and I literally struggled through multiple listens.
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21.03.2010 - 04:54
Rating: 7
Ag Fox
Angel No More
You are so entertaining, Thryce
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loves 小巫
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21.03.2010 - 05:21
BitterCOld
The Ancient One
I lol'd. nice work.
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get the fuck off my lawn.

Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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21.03.2010 - 06:10
K✞ulu
Seeker of Truth
Oh crap! this is nice, especially the guest review paragraph. Thumbs up!
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Savor what you feel and what you see
Things that may not seem important now
But may be tomorrow

R.I.P. Chuck Schuldiner

Satan was a Backstreet Boy
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21.03.2010 - 06:34
Metal Maiden
Megadead
LOL...MS should have a new category in the next awards, for best review...And here we have the first winner, hahaha... But honestly, you have to admit Alexi mothafuckin' Laiho is kinda right... My thoughts exactly on the 300 OST too...AND, I feel obliged to mention that half of the album consist of Bulgarian folklore music...which was ALSO used in 300...see the pattern in here?? :
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21.03.2010 - 09:50
Rating: 7
BloodTears
ANA-thema
Actually this made a lot of sense to me because I actually read the reviews people put online and saw almost all those reactions.

And in the end I still feel disappointed and feel the album is seriously lacking potential, or anything. One of the weakest RT albums for me. It's sad one of my favourite bands decided to release an album like this, but more will come in the future. Now let me listen to their other albums please.
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Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29

Like you could kiss my ass.


My Instagram
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21.03.2010 - 11:40
DahliaRock

Album review of the decade =)
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21.03.2010 - 12:05
Don Martin
le fu-
If I could write reviews like this one, I'd make my own metal magazine (hint, hint, Thryce)
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What a tackastrophe!
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21.03.2010 - 12:36
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Omg, this review was brilliant.
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Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass
Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.
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21.03.2010 - 21:43
Dream Taster
The Enemy Within
Unconventional brilliant reviewing style. Good job man, I really enjoyed this review.
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21.03.2010 - 21:54
Rating: 8
VaronoZz
Vampbaron
I Hope all the bands could have the journey and strength of Rotting Christ.
How many bands with a so big discography of 12 albums, they have just 1-2 weak moments, in this case, albums? Extremely few, so i will still hail for the name of creators of the Non Serviam Cult!
31/7/10!! HAIL IN CYPRUS!
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give praise for the blood it bled,
grant a rose for the dead...
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22.03.2010 - 09:29
silenius

Very good review(laughed my as off) very bland album
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22.03.2010 - 15:46
Koen Smits

Liked the review a lot. As for the album: I don't understand why so many people are so negative about it.
Ok, my first reaction was that it was not so good, then it grew on me and now I like most part of the album.
I don't say that you may not or can't dislike it, but I think the hype before the release killed its chances.
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RIP: Frank Vandenbroucke (6 nov 1974 - 12 oct 2009)

Written by Bad English on 05.04.2014 at 15:05

but spoil thius film is like spoil porn and say porn ends whit cum shot ...
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23.03.2010 - 02:25
Rating: 7
MétalNoir
Fils du Lys
Funny review, but it says absolutely nothing useful for an eventual listener... But you do know that, since you seem to think you know everything about everyone. Anyway, boring and repetitive album with annoying female chants (and I usually love that kind of chants). The rare good parts are the ones that sound VERY similar to Theogonia. That's my dull guest review.
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Notre destinée n'est pas encore tracée....
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23.03.2010 - 17:37
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Written by MétalNoir on 23.03.2010 at 02:25

Funny review, but it says absolutely nothing useful for an eventual listener...


I would say that this review explains more than enough. I guess that almost everyone who post here know how Rotting Christ sound like... This review explains that this album is so meh that everyone could make a review of this stuff because it's full of clichés and every bad thing is easy to point out.


...Another reason might be that this album doesn't need a "normal" review because almost everyone I've seen in this website agree that this album doesn't deserve one.
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Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass
Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.
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24.03.2010 - 08:53
Rating: 8
Deadmeat
Necrobutcher
Written by X-Ray Rod on 23.03.2010 at 17:37

Written by MétalNoir on 23.03.2010 at 02:25

Funny review, but it says absolutely nothing useful for an eventual listener...

this album doesn't deserve one.

i dont think that this album is what is st anger for metallica, risk for megadeth etc. it may not be as magnificent as theogonia is but you can find some good moments on it.
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Υou've sold your human essence to the cold world of dead and empty things... You're SOLD!
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24.03.2010 - 13:00
Trinity Blood

I liked this album as much as i liked theogonia...lyrics are good...also great review
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24.03.2010 - 13:35
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Written by Deadmeat on 24.03.2010 at 08:53

i dont think that this album is what is st anger for metallica, risk for megadeth etc. it may not be as magnificent as theogonia is but you can find some good moments on it.


Yeah, it's not THAT bad indeed, butit's average and it needed a review fulll of average comments
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Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass
Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.
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24.03.2010 - 15:46
Abattoir

Excellent and very amusing review
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24.03.2010 - 19:29
Rating: 6
Slayer666

I sort of agree with Metalomorphis, the whole review is based on saying it's average/bad, very little of it describes the actual music. Still pretty funny, though.
About the album.... well, Rotting Christ had to slip sooner or later... It's immposible to constantly make albums like Theogonia.The thing is, the album isn't bad, but when you compare it to the previous release it sounds like crap. If it were a debut of some other band, I belive it would have been recieved better.
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25.03.2010 - 03:28
Richard

An offbeat but enjoyable review..! What I've heard from the album so far seems promising to me though. When I went into the local shop it was priced at 20 quid, which is ridiculously expensive (presumably it was some kind of special edition).
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31.03.2010 - 07:18
Nekrocvlt

One of the best reviews I've ever read! This made my night. I personally can't stop listening to it myself
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Stop the violence or I'll kill you.
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08.04.2010 - 09:29
Lakonas

This must be the worst review i 've read for quite some time now.
If you think that having Diamanda Galas in a metal album is easy thing to do, obviously you have no idea.
The cover is amazing. To see her posting the news to her site is a triumph for a black metal band.
Secondly, since you have no idea for what this song is talking about, at least show some respect.
Rotting Christ are pioneers, not followers. Always have been.
AEALO is masterpiece and i am not the only one who thinks this.
RC can do whatever they want. They haven't got to prove anything to anyone. When they played black metal, the scene didn't even exist.
They are completely unpredictable and that's why we love them.

Oh..and nerds are the ones who think that they can insult other people with their 'humor'.
In the end of the day they are the ones that get humiliated.
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04.06.2010 - 08:02
Rating: 8
BudDa

Haha. This one is for keeps. Where do u come up with this stuff??!! Classic!
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Freeze! Step away from the hubris.
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04.06.2010 - 19:33
vezzy
Stallmanite
A sense of humor in a review. Nice job.
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Licensed under the GPLv3.
Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
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01.09.2010 - 15:31
Rating: 10
Elyar S.
Gud är Död
Written by Lakonas on 08.04.2010 at 09:29

This must be the worst review i 've read for quite some time now.
If you think that having Diamanda Galas in a metal album is easy thing to do, obviously you have no idea.
The cover is amazing. To see her posting the news to her site is a triumph for a black metal band.
Secondly, since you have no idea for what this song is talking about, at least show some respect.
Rotting Christ are pioneers, not followers. Always have been.
AEALO is masterpiece and i am not the only one who thinks this.
RC can do whatever they want. They haven't got to prove anything to anyone. When they played black metal, the scene didn't even exist.
They are completely unpredictable and that's why we love them.

Oh..and nerds are the ones who think that they can insult other people with their 'humor'.
In the end of the day they are the ones that get humiliated.

Im agree, I really enjoyed this album I loved this album cant find a bad song on it and Im agree that its a Masterpiece and I think it will be a classic album. I have to add that I have no idea about ex works because I havent listened to them.

"Review of the people having the same IQ as a jar of raisins*: Wooooooooooooooow!

* this also applies to the hardcore fanboys who already labeled the album as a masterpiece before the whole thing was recorded."

so it seems that the reviewer has more IQ than me because as I said it was almost first album of Rotting Christ which I listened to! and its a masterpiece yes.
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Kiss my ass if you dont like me, I dont care.
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04.09.2010 - 11:23
Thryce
Retired Staff
Written by Elyar S. on 01.09.2010 at 15:31

so it seems that the reviewer has more IQ than me

Im agree. But I think we kinda knew that already.
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Your favorite band sucks.
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11.06.2013 - 11:21
mojo

Not my favourite album of theirs (and they are one of my favourite bands and have been since I first heard "Leprosy of Death" all those long years ago...)

I'd skip it and go straight for the one before and the one after. Catch up with this one before "Triarchy of the Lost Lovers" but after everything else.

That's all.
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Yeah. No. Wait, what was the question?
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