So, I was browsing one day through Last.fm, and I find this underground black metal act called Darkened Nocturn Slaughtercult, and I coulnd't help but to wonder how on EARTH do you come up with something so lame and wannabe cvlt. I mean seriously... I don't really care if their music is good (and since I hate black metal, for me probably not).

So, got any similar ones to share? Remember, we're talking about lame, stupid names, not how good or bad their music is.

One of the all-time lamest names for a metal band would have to be Moat. A Moat isn't something evil or scary or brutal, it's just a ring of dirty water that surrounds the castle. The actual music is pretty bad, but it's compounded by the fact that no self-respecting metal band would ever call themselves Moat.

Sure, Moat doesn't sound badass, but everything's better than Darkened Nocturn Slaughtercult

Written by Guest on 22.05.2010 at 00:23

One of the all-time lamest names for a metal band would have to be Moat. A Moat isn't something evil or scary or brutal, it's just a ring of dirty water that surrounds the castle. The actual music is pretty bad, but it's compounded by the fact that no self-respecting metal band would ever call themselves Moat.

They changed their name and are Naturgeist now...I'm not sure if that's any better or not...

Fairyland. It seems like a band name made by people who got too many swirlies in high school.

Written by Guest on 22.05.2010 at 01:04

Written by Guest on 22.05.2010 at 00:23

One of the all-time lamest names for a metal band would have to be Moat. A Moat isn't something evil or scary or brutal, it's just a ring of dirty water that surrounds the castle. The actual music is pretty bad, but it's compounded by the fact that no self-respecting metal band would ever call themselves Moat.

They changed their name and are Naturgeist now...I'm not sure if that's any better or not...

Now he's a ghost! And not just any ghost, he's a NATURE ghost!

Written by Doc G. on 22.05.2010 at 01:16

Fairyland. It seems like a band name made by people who got too many swirlies in high school.

Haha, Yes! Decent band but horrible name.

A lot of the *core band that have those sentence-like names are either a little excessive or just plain bad.

Darkened nocturn slaughtercult actually makes some pretty decent black metal, so i'm not gonna complain

ReVamp

Vicious Rumors, Shok Paris and Britny Fox are kind of dorky. The first two sound like hair bands and with more customary US metal names they might have been less ignored. Britny Fox actually are a hair band for that matter and the name gives me a feeling that mixes porn with uncanny wussiness.

Great bands though, the two former more so than the latter one.

We Butter The Bread With Butter is really the worst name I ever heard. These "guys" prolly just were too lazy to come up with a good name...

Written by Don Martin on 22.05.2010 at 19:13

We Butter The Bread With Butter is really the worst name I ever heard. These "guys" prolly just were too lazy to come up with a good name...

I find that name pretty funny , and well, only band I can think about could be iwrestledabearonce, don't know if it's really lame.

I think Symphony X is a terrible band name (This goes for other bands that add an "X" for coolness)... and My Dying Bride is emo as fuck. Also As I Lay Dying and Bullet For My Valentine. Underoath and Unearth are retardedly similar for bands in the same genre. To/Die/For, the list goes on...

Pretty much every band name with "Eternal" or "Tears" or "Sorrow" in it sounds pretty lame to me.

Written by Graveheart on 23.05.2010 at 00:16

Pretty much every band name with "Eternal" or "Tears" or "Sorrow" in it sounds pretty lame to me.

Like Eternal Tears of Sorrow?

Thought Chamber - Seems a little Dream Theater-ish to me. Oh and they're a progressive metal supergroup, too!

Success Will Write Apocalypse Across the Sky - I have no idea how they sound because I can't hear their music over my laughter.

Meshuggah NIce

Written by Irritable Ted on 23.05.2010 at 13:41

Poverty's No Crime. Yes, but crap band names are.

i don't like bands who have "steel" in their name, only exception is of course Nanowar of Steel, which is a parody band on every possible level.

Written by Derwood on 23.05.2010 at 10:36

Success Will Write Apocalypse Across the Sky - I have no idea how they sound because I can't hear their music over my laughter.

Oh my goodness

I mean, seriously...

Written by Don Martin on 22.05.2010 at 19:13

We Butter The Bread With Butter is really the worst name I ever heard. These "guys" prolly just were too lazy to come up with a good name...

I saw those on last.fm. But these have deliberately lame name, so IDK

Written by Powerslavex on 23.05.2010 at 12:35

Meshuggah NIce

I actually it is a good name and totally befitting tyheir music and song structures which are of course pretty meshuggah.

Written by Derwood on 23.05.2010 at 10:36

Success Will Write Apocalypse Across the Sky - I have no idea how they sound because I can't hear their music over my laughter.

Ahahahahahaha, absolutely pissed myself laughing at this. Tragic.

I think lots of latin american thrash metal bands have pretty lame-ish and generic names, lots of them end with "-or", for example Massacrator, Natastor, Serpentor and so on.

Anything with "Art", "Project", or "Experiment" in a title or name always pisses me off, but Doc Godin got it right with Fairyland.

Since my friends don't listen to metal they find it always pretty amusing when I talk with them about black metal bands and their names, for instance. Even "Darkthrone" may sound lame for some ears and for mine, to a some extent, too.

Speaking about the lamest names, I'd say "Metallica". I guess it is in general quite lame when a band incorporates the name of the genre they play into their own name but I can't think of any other examples. Well, ska bands often do that but that's quite off-topic.

Edit: Forgot about the Metal Church.

Written by John Barleycorn on 24.05.2010 at 10:06


Speaking about the lamest names, I'd say "Metallica". I guess it is in general quite lame when a band incorporates the name of the genre they play into their own name

Originally the name Metallica was not meant to be a band name. Ron Quintana wanted to use it as the name for a Metal Magazine and asked what he thought of it for a mag name and Lars told him it was sucky. He only said that cause he liked the name and wanted to use it for his band.

I don't like names: "Anaal Natrakh", "Anal Cunt" and near this... I think that it is not necessarily to create such very "sreaming" names. If band want to attract people by its name it's better to attract by something another methods.

I would have nominate Fenriz' Red Planet as one the worst. It's like "Hey, I have my own planet named after myself" unless I've misundertood it.

Not horrible really, but I hate the band name "Within Y" because it stands for absolutely nothing. A name like that need to have some explanation IMO, but the band members just came up with it and thought it sounded cool.

Yeah right...

Written by Warman on 24.05.2010 at 15:17

Not horrible really, but I hate the band name "Within Y" because it stands for absolutely nothing. A name like that need to have some explanation IMO, but the band members just came up with it and thought it sounded cool.

Yeah right...

It could have a sexual meaning