aTelecine - A Cassette Tape Culture review
| Band: | aTelecine |
| Album: | A Cassette Tape Culture |
| Style: | Industrial metal |
| Release date: | November 2010 |
01. Find Nothing Else
02. Chroeg Xen
03. It's All Write
04. She Is Beautiful
05. Kitchen Light
06. A Cassette Played
07. Auon [live]
08. Some What Daft
09. Elijah's New Sun
10. I Came, I Sat, I Departed
11. RH
12. Never Was A Dreamer
Before I continue, please allow me to apologize for this review in advance. It is most likely going to be one shithouse review, but please bear with me nonetheless and hear my lament. Every since I've discovered aTelecine, my life is in ruins. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I lost my job, I haven't seen my friends in months, I haven't shaved in weeks, I haven't seen sunlight in days...
aTelecine is an industrial/noise/black metal combo (more or less)... Featuring... Wait for it....... Sasha Grey. Oh yes. Yes. Oh yes. Yes! I am hereby admitting that yes, I am a male and I definitely, definitely, definitely cannot stop drooling over the fact a world-famous *uhum* star is in a industrial/noise/black combo (sort of). Call me immature, call me a hormone-crazed teenager, call me whatever the hell you like... I'm just very amused at this very little fact. And I like everything sensational.
In all seriousness, though. aTelecine. A Cassette Tape Culture is perhaps one of the prettiest little records you've ever heard. Delicate little melodies tumble over other tiny little melodies, birds sing their little songs in the morning sun, glimmering drops of dew come crashing down from the burnt trees in this barren wasteland, ravenous beasts claw at each other in a desperate hunger-crazed battle. Well, uhm, actually none of that is really true, but you know what I mean, right?
Ok, for realz, aTelecine is a mixture of looped squeals, screams, squeaks and everything else vicious. Sasha's distorted orgasms serve as vocals, something heavy pounding on something metal serves as drums, hisses, mindlessly repetitive, imagine Eyehategod fistfucking Godflesh or if you're not into overly-obscene references just for shock value than just imagine something really minimalistic, metallic and noisy. That'll do just as well.
So what's the value of this little baby if it wouldn't have been co-created by Sasha Grey? It's hard to say, really. Is it really necessary to look at this, purely from a musical point of view? We're on a music site, so yeah, maybe it is. But then again, in a way, knowing who is part of this little ensemble does enhance the grey, oppressive and depressive nature of the music, doesn't it?
Good night to y'all, sirs, I'm off to collect some more of the girl's material. There's nothing else to live for, anyway.
 | Written on 04.01.2011 by If you're interested in extreme, often emotional and underground music, check out my reviews. I retired from reviewing, but I really used to be into that stuff. |
Comments page 2 / 3
| !J.O.O.E.! Account deleted |
!J.O.O.E.!
Account deleted Written by X-Ray Rod on 04.01.2011 at 18:40 Actually he occured me after I'd said it 
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| O Sinistron Hopeless Sinner Posts: 212 From: Brazil  |
Written by Elio on 04.01.2011 at 19:30 I second that!
---- Last.fm 
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| Fat & Sassy! Posts: 3857 From: USA  |
*reads all the comments* Welp, I'm mildly turned-on right now. D:<
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| Lucas Mr. Noise Posts: 13427 From: The Netherlands  |
Written by X-Ray Rod on 04.01.2011 at 19:20 Bonus cd? Really? I thought it was a vinyl release only, never heard anything about a bonus cd.
---- SLUDGE. DOOM. DEATH. Wait, what?  "The reason I'm running for president is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen." - Barack Obama
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Posts: 18274 From: Sweden  |
Written by Fat & Sassy! on 04.01.2011 at 21:30 If there was a song about a ferret or a ferret in the artwork would it betotally hot for you?
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Posts: 18274 From: Sweden |
Written by Lucas on 04.01.2011 at 21:34 Bonus lp then... fuck you XD But yeah.... I mean, I tried to downloaded and came upon a limited edition with like 23 copies that had bonus amterial.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Fat & Sassy! Posts: 3857 From: USA |
Written by X-Ray Rod on 04.01.2011 at 21:37 Oh yeah. Totes. In fact, I'm pretty sure we can just add a 'F' at the end of the song 'RH' and call it Real Hot Ferret. >:[
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| Doc G. Full Grown Hoser Posts: 9718 From: Canada  |
Not gonna lie, this sucks. This seems to have taken that whole "I like the band because there's a chick in it" mentality one step further. I don't know how to state this without sounding extremely juvenile...I can and have made better music on my computer, and my grasp on songwriting is piss-poor at best. She's better than me at getting railed by 5 guys though, believe it or not. Sasha Grey shouldn't quit her day job.
---- "I got a lot of really good ideas, problem is, most of them suck." - George Carlin
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| Daniell _爱情_ Posts: 6059 From: Poland  |
I googled that girl and it seems she is a smart person. She also seems to have natural breasts, which is amazingly rare in the porn industry I hear. As for music, I will have to hear it. Polarized opinions make me interested.
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Posts: 18274 From: Sweden |
Written by Doc G. on 05.01.2011 at 06:02 Hahahahah yeah, I agree with you with almost everything. Their stuff isn't that bad imo though, I found it quite nice and relaxing most of the time but that's just me though. But yeah this is a case like GallhammerX10.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| beyondtehdarksun Posts: 186 From: Germany  |
Sasha is fascinating on any level. She could play pop or whatever people are complaining about, I'd be interested.
---- "We are blind to the world within us, waiting to be born"
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| beyondtehdarksun Posts: 186 From: Germany |
Written by Daniell on 05.01.2011 at 13:07 Rare in the US industry, you probably mean. Luckily not everywhere.
---- "We are blind to the world within us, waiting to be born"
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| Daniell _爱情_ Posts: 6059 From: Poland |
I can't really judge, because in my opinion porn is a waste of fucking time, so to speak.
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Posts: 18274 From: Sweden |
Written by Daniell on 05.01.2011 at 13:58 Pun intended? 
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Daniell _爱情_ Posts: 6059 From: Poland |
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| beyondtehdarksun Posts: 186 From: Germany |
Written by Guest on 05.01.2011 at 16:36 Just as she does in her day job ^^
---- "We are blind to the world within us, waiting to be born"
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| Merchant of Doom Posts: 702 From: UK  |
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| Mindheist No Longer Human Posts: 618 From: Tunisia  |
I'm gonna make a ruling on this one right now. There's nothing wrong with a man enjoying enticing "sounds" and paying tribute to the holy presence of one of the world's most popular *ehem* stars  . By the way, I had to look her up . I'm not into porn, but unlike Marcel, I don't think it's a waste of time, everybody is entitled to his own opinion. Way to go Lucas, I wish you all the best man  . Not gonna lie, I almost laughed my head off reading your comments guys. Somebody should put them in "Funny Stuff" section .Now, concerning the review, here's what you all need to know :"In all seriousness, though. aTelecine. A Cassette Tape Culture is perhaps one of the prettiest little records you've ever heard." That's it, these guys have apparently delivered a decent performance with this record and that's all that matters. Thumbs up for Ms.Grey and her compatriots  . And nice entertaining (obviously) review.
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| iMPERiAL_iCE Weeping Heart Posts: 1127 From: UAE  |
All those comments made me piss my pants, and fuck! now I have to change them and it's not the end of the week yet XD off-topic: anyway, did anybody notice that not a single female metalstormer has posted anything??????? on-topic: if Sasha Grey would piss on a piece of paper and sell it as art...I'd buy it  on second thoughts I wish she'd so thatEDIT: I just got the album, and noisecore is a very interesting genre, the album was real Creepy (especially Auon, I'm sensing some wicked nightmares tonight), it felt like listening to the static ambient music while playing Silent Hill :S ...but I wished she'd do something more understandable (at least to me), dunno how to explain this in simpler words, something I'd be able to listen to a second time...
---- The older I get.........The faster I was  Smurfilator -- back when Smurf Metal existed :'(
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| Ilham Giant robot Posts: 5161 From: Canada  |
Well, you know you're far too much into internet porn when you read a review, and recognize the name of an, underground, but one of your favorite, actresses.
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| Ilham Giant robot Posts: 5161 From: Canada |
Written by iMPERiAL_iCE on 07.01.2011 at 03:31 I read this after commenting. Sorry to ruin it for you. And no female MSers ever comment on Lucas' reviews. They know what to expect.
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| iMPERiAL_iCE Weeping Heart Posts: 1127 From: UAE |
Written by Ilham on 17.01.2011 at 01:25 don't worry hun, I'm used to you ruining everything for me XD (that also includes FB statuses)
---- The older I get.........The faster I was Smurfilator -- back when Smurf Metal existed :'(
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| SlaytanicGonzo Posts: 158 From: Argentina  |
After hearing a few songs I must say: She should stick to sucking c***
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| Slayer666 Posts: 2466 From: Serbia  |
Written by SlaytanicGonzo on 25.01.2011 at 10:17 She pretty much sucks it on this record as well. OH, SNAP!
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| Guib Thrash Talker Posts: 3053 From: Canada  |
Yeah well personally... I don't find anything interesting in this ''Style''... I don't get where metal comes into play ? DOes this album really deserve to be on this website when knowing that some actual metal bands are blacklisted... I don't think so.
---- - Headbanging with mostly clogged arteries to that stuff - Guib's List Of Essential Albums - Also Thrash Paradise Thrash Here
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| !J.O.O.E.! Account deleted |
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Posts: 21306 From: Canada  |
Written by Guest on 11.06.2011 at 20:10 She could learn a thing or two from Jenna Haze. I like this thread. It's actually more about pronz than music.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| !J.O.O.E.! Account deleted |
!J.O.O.E.!
Account deleted Written by Troy Killjoy on 12.06.2011 at 01:26 I agree, from this thread alone I've learned that I need to look up Jenna Haze which is more credible than most people's music recommendations.
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| Assassiyoun Posts: 45 From: Canada |
61 comments and...2 votes...wow...just wow... If she were to make a movie with this album as soundtrack, this would win the video of the year for sure...or maybe the drama for some ...Lucas?
---- "Wer mit Ungeheuern kämpft, mag zusehen, dass er nicht dabei zum Ungeheuer wird. Und wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein." - Friedrich Nietzsche
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| Daniell _爱情_ Posts: 6059 From: Poland |
Written by Troy Killjoy on 12.06.2011 at 01:26 The overall knowledge of porn actresses in this thread is immense. How do you learn the names of pornstars anyway? And, more importantly, do their names matter at all? After all, most of the time you're watching parts of their bodies that are far less recognizable than faces
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