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Most mind-numbingly awful lyrics and lyricists



Posts: 97   [ 1 ignored ]   Visited by: 177 users

Original post

Posted by wormdrink414, 01.03.2011 - 02:15
I have to nominate Jari and the lyrics in Wintersun's self-titled album. Not only are they bad (the English is bad, the ideas aren't original), fans do the ol' and for them.
27.12.2011 - 03:25
Cuca Beludo
Account deleted
Helloween's "Mr. Torture" and "Dr. Stein". These lyrics are utterly stupid, perhaps the two worst lyrics ever. Also, some old SOAD songs, like "sugar" and "peephole".

EDIT: Nirvana only has stupid lyrics (see "Big Cheese).
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27.12.2011 - 04:03
Sentinel65

The Scorpions lyrics have always been really cheesy.
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27.12.2011 - 04:10
Cuca Beludo
Account deleted
Written by Sentinel65 on 27.12.2011 at 04:03

The Scorpions lyrics have always been really cheesy.

I don't think they are too cheesy at all. There's others bad lyrics.
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27.12.2011 - 04:18
Sentinel65

Written by Guest on 27.12.2011 at 04:10

Written by Sentinel65 on 27.12.2011 at 04:03

The Scorpions lyrics have always been really cheesy.

I don't think they are too cheesy at all. There's others bad lyrics.

Yeah I'm sure there is worse, that is just a band that came off of the top of my head.
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01.01.2012 - 23:08
Uldreth

Most glam/pop/hair/cock "metal" bands have terribly horribly bad and useless lyrics.

I Wanna Touch U

I wanna touch U - Till we're stuck like glue
I wanna touch U - Yeah

I get high on U
I'm on fire over U
And I can't let U go
I can't let U go

I got love on the rise
And I burn like a fire
Got my eye on the prize
Got love in my sights
And I can't let U go
I can't let U go

Give me no reasons
Give me no rhymes
Give me that feelin'
All of the time

I wanna touch U - Till we're stuck like glue
I wanna touch U - Yeah, baby, that is true
I wanna touch U - Nobody else will do, no
I wanna touch U - 'Cos a little too much
Could never be enough, no

I get wired on U
And I thrill to your touch
Yeah, I excite over U
Can't stop this landslide of love
And I can't let U go
I can't let U go, oh

I wanna touch U - Till we're stuck like glue
I wanna touch U - I wanna touch U, yeah
I wanna touch U - Oh, till we get it right
I wanna touch U - Yeah, make it last all night
I wanna touch U - Baby U excite
I wanna touch U - 'Cos a little too much
Could never be enough, now

(Def Leppard - I Wanna Touch U)

Seriously, what goes through the lyricst's mind when he writes that and thinks it will do nicely as lyrics?!
I think the only album by that band that actually has some songs with relatively tolerable lyrics is their first one.
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01.01.2012 - 23:19
NLthrasher

Written by WickedBuddhi on 02.03.2011 at 07:05

I always thought Grim Reaper had some really awful lyrics.

"I see them coming over mountains,
Marching in line,
Children playing by the fountains,
Gods of war making time,
See the swords glisten in sunshine,
When they come to an end,
Alright all of our kin folk,
We will have to defend."

HELL YEAH.... ehhh never mind....

I didn't think the first lines were to bad, the last 2 lines destroy the the entire lyrics though.
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01.01.2012 - 23:53
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Written by Uldreth on 01.01.2012 at 23:08
I think the only album by that band that actually has some songs with relatively tolerable lyrics is their first one.

I wanna touch you.

"Cherry Pie" is another good one for brilliant lyrical content.
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"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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02.01.2012 - 00:08
@gent_-_orange

I would like to nominate Drudkh - Eternal Turn of the Wheel, Check out these lyrics of epic prose.

"Summer is the hottest every year, every winter there's a different sky
Every spring there's a different sky, every sunrise just feels so right

Summer is the hottest every year, every winter there's a different sky
Every spring there's a different sky, every sunrise feels so right
Every tree that falls in hate, every stream that swallows the day
Every year that flows cyclelessly, every day flows so better"

I know English is not their first language but damn that is incredibley bad.
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02.01.2012 - 05:53
Richard 32

Rhapsody of Fire is amusingly bad. I like the band a lot actually, but it's almost hard to believe that they take themselves seriously. Unholy Warcry is like a really bad D&D session.
Also, Glam Metal.
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02.01.2012 - 18:33
vezzy
Stallmanite
Written by Guest on 01.01.2012 at 22:39

I hate explicit lyrics, i like formal lyrics


Well, I'm upper upper class high society... God's gift to ballroom notoriety...

Doesn't get much more formal than that.
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Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
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06.01.2012 - 03:42
lordchadi

I think Perry Mason from Ozzy Osbourne is so stupid & make no sense
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20.01.2012 - 19:35
Milena
gloom cookie
Written by @gent_-_orange on 02.01.2012 at 00:08

I would like to nominate Drudkh - Eternal Turn of the Wheel, Check out these lyrics of epic prose.

"Summer is the hottest every year, every winter there's a different sky
Every spring there's a different sky, every sunrise just feels so right

Dude, that's like a metal "Friday".
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7.0 means the album is good
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20.01.2012 - 21:35
Boxcar Willy
yr a kook
Written by Milena on 20.01.2012 at 19:35

Written by @gent_-_orange on 02.01.2012 at 00:08

I would like to nominate Drudkh - Eternal Turn of the Wheel, Check out these lyrics of epic prose.

"Summer is the hottest every year, every winter there's a different sky
Every spring there's a different sky, every sunrise just feels so right

Dude, that's like a metal "Friday".

MIND. BLOWN.
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14:22 - Marcel Hubregtse
I do your mum

DESTROY DRUM TRIGGERS
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20.01.2012 - 22:25
Daniell
_爱情_
Written by Richard 32 on 02.01.2012 at 05:53

Rhapsody of Fire is amusingly bad.


This.

On second thought, 99% of metal lyrics are impossibly bad. Right now I can think about just a handful of bands that have good lyrics:

Megadeth - especially on older releases, the lyrics are smart, witty and really meaningful. Check out "Hook in Mouth" - some of the best lyrics ever written. If you don't get those, go educate yourself and try again

Opeth - unconventional, multi-faceted, complex and challenging, at least on some albums like "Still Life" or "Ghost Reveries".

Cradle of Filth - as cheesy as they are, they are extremely well-written. It takes a lot of effort and studying to actually grasp all references and puns that CoF's lyrics contain. And even native speakers of English have different interpretations of those lyrics. the best band ever lyrics-wise.
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20.01.2012 - 22:28
tea[m]ster
Au Pays Natal
All or most glam metal?
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rekt
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21.01.2012 - 01:21
Milena
gloom cookie
And my second take on this thread.

Written by Irritable Ted on 01.03.2011 at 22:35

Beauty hand cream shiny blond
Anti wrinkle too
Perfect bronzer, body butter
Self tanning cream


My best friend was just earning respect for Timo Tolkki, but then I showed him the bulk of Tolkki related crap on Blabbermouth and similar, and he found these himself... needless to say, he was no longer a fan and my work was done, I seriously can't believe how smart people respect this nutcase of a man.
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7.0 means the album is good
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21.01.2012 - 02:04
RavenKing

Written by Milena on 21.01.2012 at 01:21

And my second take on this thread.

Written by Irritable Ted on 01.03.2011 at 22:35

Beauty hand cream shiny blond
Anti wrinkle too
Perfect bronzer, body butter
Self tanning cream


My best friend was just earning respect for Timo Tolkki, but then I showed him the bulk of Tolkki related crap on Blabbermouth and similar, and he found these himself... needless to say, he was no longer a fan and my work was done, I seriously can't believe how smart people respect this nutcase of a man.


Tolkki is crazy beyond any salvation.
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They shake your hand and they smile and they buy you a drink
They say we'll be your friends we'll stick with you till the end
But everybody's only looking out for themselves
And you say who can you trust I'll tell you nobody
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21.01.2012 - 02:27
Vombatus
Potorro
Written by Daniell on 20.01.2012 at 22:25

Written by Richard 32 on 02.01.2012 at 05:53




Cradle of Filth - as cheesy as they are, they are extremely well-written. It takes a lot of effort and studying to actually grasp all references and puns that CoF's lyrics contain. And even native speakers of English have different interpretations of those lyrics. the best band ever lyrics-wise.


Agree. Most complexe/beautiful sounding lyrics I ever checked. Specially the old stuff is mind-blowing poetry (and music was good.. too bad didn't last ).

Other than that, I think most of the bands have uninteresting lyrics, or maybe just bad... with a few expections.
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21.01.2012 - 02:37
RavenKing

Anorexia Nervosa. Especially if you can understand the French parts.
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They shake your hand and they smile and they buy you a drink
They say we'll be your friends we'll stick with you till the end
But everybody's only looking out for themselves
And you say who can you trust I'll tell you nobody
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21.01.2012 - 12:13
MesiasDesmorphus

Lol these make not a lick of goddamn sense
'Hatebreeder' by CoB
I found session, betrayed now, it's on now,
I saw, human, I see so
Well I am certain of, I don't know how,
other souls beyond this smile

I hate you from the bottom of my heart
I have no fucking right now, I see so

Beside you, I saw
other souls beyond this smile
Well I thought now, I said I saw
I saw it, your vanity, your mentality

Never seen the fooled beast inside of me,
well I'm an asshole, and I really will always be
So why now, oh let it be,
is that so fucking hard, oh be dead, I'm free

Burn it hard, make a void that sucks to the suction drive
We need the open thing with my special little part of life

(I tell you!)

I'm accessing in all the northern light,
you know I got no fucking other souls, guilty now
I've got no fine, no fucking thoughts, so,
a combination, now you're fucking dead

Never seen the fooled beast inside of me,
well I'm an asshole, and I really will always be
So why now, let it be,
is that so fucking hard, be dead, I'm free
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21.01.2012 - 12:18
Milena
gloom cookie
Written by MesiasDesmorphus on 21.01.2012 at 12:13

by CoB

That shouldn't surprise you at all, because Laiho said he makes up lyrics only because you can't go without them... I even think the lyrics for one album were made up on spot. Don't remember which one though. That's a pity, I'd enjoy their music a lot more if singing along to it didn't make me feel like such an ass.

And yes, I pick my bands also based on whether I like the lyrics or not. Now I'm not so strict, but in the past, if the lyrics weren't good enough, I seriously couldn't listen to the band. Now I listen to a lot more things at once, so I can't make the time to learn the lyrics by heart anyway.
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7.0 means the album is good
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21.01.2012 - 12:34
Uldreth

Written by Milena on 21.01.2012 at 12:18

Written by MesiasDesmorphus on 21.01.2012 at 12:13

by CoB

That shouldn't surprise you at all, because Laiho said he makes up lyrics only because you can't go without them... I even think the lyrics for one album were made up on spot. Don't remember which one though. That's a pity, I'd enjoy their music a lot more if singing along to it didn't make me feel like such an ass.

And yes, I pick my bands also based on whether I like the lyrics or not. Now I'm not so strict, but in the past, if the lyrics weren't good enough, I seriously couldn't listen to the band. Now I listen to a lot more things at once, so I can't make the time to learn the lyrics by heart anyway.

It is Something Wild.

I think the only song on that album which had 'premediated' lyrics is Touch Like Angel of Death.
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21.01.2012 - 12:41
Milena
gloom cookie
Written by Uldreth on 21.01.2012 at 12:34

It is Something Wild.

I think the only song on that album which had 'premediated' lyrics is Touch Like Angel of Death.

Ahhh yes, now I remember. Not a big fan of that album. I like their stuff from Hatebreeder to one half of AYDY. And the new one ain't so bad, except it's not so neoclassical, which I'm fine with.

To keep on topic... I honestly don't know how will the new singer of Dragonforce manage to not mix up their stuff when he sings them on live shows, some of their songs are way too lyrically similar and rarely make some sense.
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7.0 means the album is good
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21.01.2012 - 17:30
RavenKing

Written by Milena on 21.01.2012 at 12:18

And yes, I pick my bands also based on whether I like the lyrics or not. Now I'm not so strict, but in the past, if the lyrics weren't good enough, I seriously couldn't listen to the band. Now I listen to a lot more things at once, so I can't make the time to learn the lyrics by heart anyway.


I don't mind lyrics too much. It's more the way the vocalists performs them (the emotion) that matters to me.
That being said, I can't completely ignore lyrics and if I find them retarded it's definitely a negative point.
Lyrics are one of the reasons that explains my general dislike for Death Metal. There are exceptions and I like some old school Death Metal bands but I definitely have an issue with Death Metal lyrics in general. It also happens from time to time with Black Metal bands even if it's my favorite genre.
Imo, decent lyrics can add to good music and make a more interesting experience.
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They shake your hand and they smile and they buy you a drink
They say we'll be your friends we'll stick with you till the end
But everybody's only looking out for themselves
And you say who can you trust I'll tell you nobody
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21.01.2012 - 18:20
Milena
gloom cookie
Written by RavenKing on 21.01.2012 at 17:30

I don't mind lyrics too much. It's more the way the vocalists performs them (the emotion) that matters to me.
That being said, I can't completely ignore lyrics and if I find them retarded it's definitely a negative point.

I've become a bit like you in the past year, but if a band has interesting lyrics, they'll grab me instantly, while the bands with lyrics that don't really speak to me might receive a few plays less.

I have less time to read books now, and less ideas what to read, since good books rarely get into bookstores fast here, and I still prefer reading a "real" book to reading letters on screen, because my eyes hurt less. But I still want to be in touch with pretty words, so that's where lyrics by someone with greater writing skills than Timo Tolkki or Alexi Laiho are handy.
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7.0 means the album is good
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21.01.2012 - 18:26
FOOCK Nam

Before, I picked on music, but after digging bands lyrics I feel more interesting on the lyrics to sing with the music. Though lyric itself is very important to me, if no care about it I must brained imagine the concept and meaning of the songs when I were listening too.
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25.01.2012 - 15:30
Milena
gloom cookie
I just found these pearls looking at bands with bad reviews. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present you Forever Slave.
This piece of poetry is called Dickhead:
"I feel hate when he touches me
Only I'm sixteen...
He's stealing my life.
He sits down near me,
While his wife is watching TV.
When her glance is far away,
He plays with his hand under my skirt.

It's my truth.
It's my chance.
The end of a nightmare.
Take a car now.
Park it near his home.
Two shoots and fire in their house."

How charming.

Next we have something utterly beautiful - this stunning work of poetry is called GothiX Girls
"Turn on your web cam
I feel you're hot
I see you are so hard
I need your passion now
You never stop!
Tonight, we were two lovers searching sex
Tonight, you'll be all for me I need you in me.

"My baby, touch my body.
...Slowly...Slowly...
Kiss my lips... you never stop!
I'm so hot, I can't control... Fuck me!"

Well, lady, if you say so...

Courtesy of Google translate:
"I need your warm close to me
I wanna dream to night as well
Should we have chosen, once again,
another final? "

Wait, what?

And an LGBT drama to top it all off:
"I go for a walk
And I see her all the time
Some friends told me that
they saw her with a girl

We were two souls
And we loved each other
But you forgot your promises"

My heart is breaking!
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7.0 means the album is good
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25.01.2012 - 17:38
Kenos
Account deleted
Quote:
I've always felt so cold inside, clinging on to life
I've always felt at one with the night, fading deep inside
Winter winds are blowing through my life
Deep inside I know that I can run but I can't hide
...
Feel the pain, it's growing strong
Our hearts been bleeding for so long
There's a light, there's a dream, there's a fire within
Fading on into night eternally
...
I wander lost and lonely by the shoreline of the sea
I think about the way I wanted life to be
The seaside leads me on to the sound of sweeping waves
My heart gets filled with sorrow and grief along the way


Sirenia.

Please. Please. PLEASE, just stop it. Come on, do people take them seriously?
My 6 yo niece could write better nursery rhymes than this pile of shitty *fading dark dreams lost night tears bleeding heart* gawth clichés. Goddamn I HATE it.

Oh and, speaking of goth clichés, am I the only one who thinks My Dying Bride's lyrics have become incredibly hilarious over the last years?

Quote:
I fail to find comfort
In your pale cold eyes
Worn loosely about me
You hang there dying off me
Deep in the misery
Of my long arms, weeping
I cradle your tired head
This moment for the keeping
...
She already knows how this will end
The wounds of memory she tends
Ghost and strangers
She flees her own grief
Forever running
Haunted she sleeps
In shadows she lays all alone
Remembering her lover gone
Through forests she walks every day
Through winter storms, every day
She looks through dark eyes...


Just the same stuff, only a bit "darker" than Sirenia... "my heart here and my heart there, your dark eyes and your lover gone, she does this and she does that, she is dark and gawth and wretched curse while bleeding shadows in bleak forests and gawth and deep cold dark ghost of the soul of the pain of the dead. OH, WOE IS ME".
Seriously, seems like these bands took some random gawth words/sentences and played them with Winamp's shuffle.
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25.01.2012 - 18:58
theFIST

Written by Kratos on 01.03.2011 at 02:28

There are a ton of bands with awful lyrics, but one band that I really hate is Korpiklaani. Almost every word they say makes me cringe( not to mention the music ) imo, of course.

Man can go, through the grey stone, man can go, through the grey stone, man can go......
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http://metalstormmusicianscorner.bandcamp.com
Written by Warman on 07.11.2007 at 22:39
Haha, that's like saying "compose your own Metal album and upload it here, instead of writing a review of an album". :lol:
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26.01.2012 - 11:37
Milena
gloom cookie
Written by theFIST on 25.01.2012 at 18:58

Written by Kratos on 01.03.2011 at 02:28

There are a ton of bands with awful lyrics, but one band that I really hate is Korpiklaani. Almost every word they say makes me cringe( not to mention the music ) imo, of course.

Man can go, through the grey stone, man can go, through the grey stone, man can go......

Korpiklaani have a piece of lyrics I literally worship on the first album:
"I'm alone again
And old pine tree
Asked me, where's your woman?
I said: Shut up
Or I make of you another
Firewood"
It's awesome
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7.0 means the album is good
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