Let me get this straight. Reed masturbating furiously by a mic + post-88, studio-fellating Metallica throwing down riffs to help him finish = pretentious heap of human-shit? Surprised!

Written by Troy Killjoy on 20.10.2011 at 22:30

Written by malaikat on 20.10.2011 at 22:26
Reed is more kvlt than Attila. HATERS GONNA HATE

Okay I'll give you that.

Please dont Insult Attila!!

Mental note: you can't put a butterfly in a jar.

My dreams of becoming a lepidopterist have been shattered

... and I thought they couldn't get below St. Anger. I'm afraid to say, but it seems I was wrong.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 20.10.2011 at 22:59

Written by animal on 20.10.2011 at 22:37
Just when we thought that Metallica couldn't possibly sink any lower....

I for one did not think that.

However, I also didn't think they could sink this low.

I for one did not think that .

We all heard St. Anger. We know that Metallica is capable of having absolutely no sense of why people like them and absolutely no quality control. And I also assume that they are somewhat pissed off about that time that Jethro Tull beat them out for that grammy award, and they are poisoned by that whole world of self-important classic music bigshots. The thought of the grammy awards makes any good metalhead sick to their stomach, but Metallica laps up every last ounce of fame and hype. But when they were bested by a pretentious artsy prog band with critical acclaim from a place in music history that Metallica covets they developed chips on their shoulders that they are expressing to this day. They are still seen as a simple metal band by music snobs, and they get recognition, but it is never for being artistic geniuses, it is simply because they are so popular. So now they are teaming up with a pretentious artsy old guy with critical acclaim from self-important classic music bigshots to make pretentious crap in an attempt to break through the metal barrier and be up there with a group that they have never fit in with but whose membership they covet.

Anyway that's my theory, I don't know if it is true but it certainly explains how Metallica could sink even lower than St. Anger. Instead of being a great metal band and building their signature sound they have made an attempt at belonging to a world where they don't belong, and would have been better off avoiding like the plague. Sad.

Written by Guest on 21.10.2011 at 08:55
...

That...actually makes an incredible amount of sense. It's like some tragic biography about a kid with cancer fighting to live day by day and fit in with the rest of the kids but he just can't and ultimately loses the battle that takes his life.

Only the kid was never a complete fucking idiot.

This is very well said! Another example of Metallica's pretenses is the S&M album. Back then I was a diehard Matallica fan and I bought it immediately. And I re-sold it 2 weeks later... Total fucking nonsense of an album, with particularly bad symphonic arrangements.

Never thought they could go back to their 80:s greatness but damn

I am a "...since the ride the lightning" era Metallica fan. A few weeks ago a pre-ordered Lulu on the website i usually order CD/music from.
Since yesterday i contact that website and told them to cancel that pre-order definitely. Everyone please do the same !!!
Since then I play on the St-Anger cd which i enjoy more than ever.
... I'd probably as well enjoy Lulu when they'll decide to work on a project with Justin Bieber.

Written by Sakri on 21.10.2011 at 12:03
... I'd probably as well enjoy Lulu when they'll decide to work on a project with Justin Bieber.

I think Ozzy Osbourne already beat them to that one...

Wow, after reading all this comments i realy look forward to comming home and listen to this:) I'm gonna love this. What a great idea this is, and bold:)

Written by RockeRoy on 21.10.2011 at 12:54

Wow, after reading all this comments i realy look forward to comming home and listen to this:)

NO ROY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T

I could have lived my whole life without listening "pumping Blood" ( the worst song of that album, at least between that ones I heard ) or reading any of that lyrics...
Damn I had to stop it, because otherwise my ears would fall off

Written by Angelic Storm on 21.10.2011 at 12:24

Written by Sakri on 21.10.2011 at 12:03
... I'd probably as well enjoy Lulu when they'll decide to work on a project with Justin Bieber.

I think Ozzy Osbourne already beat them to that one...

Yep

What a fucking twisted and horrible abomination...

Is this some kind of sick joke?

Written by Doc G. on 20.10.2011 at 17:52

Written by arwestromen on 20.10.2011 at 12:33

Like Mr Hetfield said: it's not the metallica sound that the fans know and love type of music anyone will enjoy.

Fixed.

Regardless of what they call it, it's still crap.

HEY!!!!! someone is censoring and editing my post, that's just......hilarious

Who needs Lulu when you got the parodies?

Written by Troy Killjoy on 20.10.2011 at 22:59

Written by animal on 20.10.2011 at 22:37
Just when we thought that Metallica couldn't possibly sink any lower....

I for one did not think that.

However, I also didn't think they could sink this low.

I'm kind of not surprised, actually. Nothing they do at this point really surprises me even in the slightest at all. I'm just a bit confused by this album, because judging from the handful of songs I've listened to, I find it hard to believe they actually thought this was something worth putting out.

Spin Magazine, Metal Hammer, and whatever other pop culture mags will rave about it.

Well i just listen through it one time, and there is a couple of things ruining the album,
1.Lou reeds talking vocal, it seems random
2. Hetfield's vocal parts, sounds way out of tune, specialy on Cheat on me.

The good parts is that Ulrich does a good job, with great sound on the drums, and there is a couple of cool songs, Disc 2 sounds a little less like two different Albums playd over eatch other. There are some cool riffs in this album too. But overall not an album i'm going to listen to much over the years.... If it's not a hell ov a grower:)

Since 1991 Metallica has been labelled as sell outs with The black Album, Load, Reload, Garage, S&M, Napster, St.Anger, a movie and death magnetic. So their obviously doing the only thing available to them, by making one album that is the opposite of the last twenty years, by making "lulu".There's no way that anyone could call this mainstream or radio friendly or even music a times. So instead of putting the world through twenty years of "artsie" Metallica they got it out of their system all at once, because no one who's "clean" would so overtly take a great big shit on their fans.

BTW my sarcasm button broke prior to this.

For me the only good song on the whole album would have been Junior Dad, if it was 3 minutes long, not 6 times that length with the same exact 30 seconds repeating themselves to no end.

Written by Doc G. on 21.10.2011 at 15:57

Spin Magazine, Metal Hammer, and whatever other pop culture mags will rave about it.

Yeah, I guess the one-cell brain mainstream culture will seize the occasion to praise Metallicrap to the High Heavens.

Written by Guest on 21.10.2011 at 08:55
...

That was kind of a brilliant post dude... The theory seems prety realistic.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 21.10.2011 at 09:08

That...actually makes an incredible amount of sense. It's like some tragic biography about a kid with cancer fighting to live day by day and fit in with the rest of the kids but he just can't and ultimately loses the battle that takes his life.

Only the kid was never a complete fucking idiot.

I laughed so hard with this, don't know why

Written by Doc G. on 21.10.2011 at 15:57

Spin Magazine, Metal Hammer, and whatever other pop culture mags will rave about it.

While I wouldn't put it past them surely even they'll recognize that this fails to hold any real value.

Written by R'Vannith on 22.10.2011 at 08:23

Written by Doc G. on 21.10.2011 at 15:57

Spin Magazine, Metal Hammer, and whatever other pop culture mags will rave about it.

While I wouldn't put it past them surely even they'll recognize that this fails to hold any real value.

Nothing Metal Hammer publishes surprises me any more.

This makes St. Anger sound like a masterpiece...

...I almost can't even believe this disgusting filth is real.

"Lulu?" More like lol.

The damage is so scarring with this one I now have no choice but to burn all of my Metallica albums and forget they ever existed.

Written by Mechaniacal on 23.10.2011 at 02:31

The damage is so scarring with this one I now have no choice but to burn all of my Metallica albums and forget they ever existed.

I hope this is not serious because, as much as I despise Metallica, it would be stupid to throw music you enjoy through the window only because you hate what the band did recently.

It's as if I would stop liking old Darkthrone or early Satyricon because I think their new stuff sucks. I surely won't stop listening to music I like because of reasons like that. Just ignore the stuff you dislike.

Written by RavenKing on 23.10.2011 at 03:07
I hope this is not serious because, as much as I despise Metallica, it would be stupid to throw music you enjoy through the window only because you hate what the band did recently.

It's as if I would stop liking old Darkthrone or early Satyricon because I think their new stuff sucks. I surely won't stop listening to music I like because of reasons like that. Just ignore the stuff you dislike.

Agreed. If disliking a band's more recent output would suddenly make you hate albums that you previously "liked" by that band, then you probably never really liked them in the first place. And meaning you probably only liked them for frivilous non-musical reasons, in which case your opinion on those albums is invalid. I hate the latest album by Queensryche, and many of their other later albums are awful. But that doesn't suddenly make albums like "Operation: Mindcrime" and "Rage For Order" bad albums...

Written by Angelic Storm on 23.10.2011 at 03:29

Written by RavenKing on 23.10.2011 at 03:07
I hope this is not serious because, as much as I despise Metallica, it would be stupid to throw music you enjoy through the window only because you hate what the band did recently.

It's as if I would stop liking old Darkthrone or early Satyricon because I think their new stuff sucks. I surely won't stop listening to music I like because of reasons like that. Just ignore the stuff you dislike.

Agreed. If disliking a band's more recent output would suddenly make you hate albums that you previously "liked" by that band, then you probably never really liked them in the first place. And meaning you probably only liked them for frivilous non-musical reasons, in which case your opinion on those albums is invalid. I hate the latest album by Queensryche, and many of their other later albums are awful. But that doesn't suddenly make albums like "Operation: Mindcrime" and "Rage For Order" bad albums...

Why am I not surprised to see you agree with me on this?
But yeah, good music is good music and remains good, no matter how shitty the follow-up can be.
That's what I call judging music for what it is: music (according to our own tastes, of course - what is good for someone can be bad for someone else and vice-versa).

Should I not listen to new Kreator because I think everything they released during the 90s was awful?
Surely not. My dislike of their 90s input has no effect on my appreciation of their 80s input and the new albums.
And, Imo, that's how it should be.

Same for Iron Maiden. I utterly dislike what the band became and the new material is a pain in the ass for me to hear. But, will the 80s album ever be painful for me to hear? I don't believe it will ever happen.