Band:	Theories
Album:	Regression
Style:	Deathgrind
Release date:	March 2015

01. Burnt Concrete
02. Cycle Of Decay
03. Shame
04. Abortive Crescent
05. Bathing In Pigs Blood
06. First World's Last Breath
07. Swimming In Mud
08. Revenge / Rewild
09. Hell In Her Eyes
10. Landfill

There's nothing more satisfying than writing a rant review focusing on the lack of finesse and variety in a grindcore album, and finding another grind release that is so well written it just proves everything previously said to be true. Just the day following the publication of said review. *Stops inflating her own ego and moves on to the record in question*.

Albeit being the alliance of several experienced musicians from Samothrace and other Seattle-based bands such as Book Of Black Earth, Theories is a newborn deathgrind formation. And they just had their first wet burp. In normal words, this here is their first full-length - and to be fair, it's not just a burp, it's a full-on Family Guy pukathon.

Regression is just a non-stop deluge of bile that comes in successive waves, some more violent than others - but always just as bitter. I do not wish to tease your gag reflex much longer, thus I'll stop using disgusting metaphors and say it the way it is: not one song in this début is like the other, and I could even find... emotion somewhere in that pool of vomit. May I just take your head into my two hands and shove it against the screen where I say these guys play hardcore/punk-tinged deathgrind? Okay. Do you realise how rare this is?

Assuming that you do, let me reassure you that this release doesn't get any less brutal than it should, nor does it end up being disjointed and messy. Indeed, not only the barfing quartet are just incredible at playing their respective instruments, but they also have an acute understanding of what songwriting is. Variations of rhythm, atmosphere shifts, changes in the density of sound and attention to detail - everything is put together in order to tell a story. And what a story: downfall of society, urban decay, drugs and misery. Happy things.

No creative drum fills, soli, or stirring leads and bass can replace the good songwriting I just described, but they are what makes this album so complete. With a versatile frontman that just sounds like he's part-T-rex/part-pterodactyl and with Scott Hull directing the beast, the record is just clean enough to surprise you at its dirtiest, most brutal moments. Just as if they struck the perfect balance between the brutality of Misery Index and the despair a band like Trap Them or Harm's Way can embody. The brooding "Shame", the Zos Kia Cultus-like ending to "First World's Last Breath", or the suffering you can feel in "Hell In Her Eyes" are just three of the many passages that represent this band's ability to be both intelligent and extreme.

Why are you still here? With all this praise you should already be listening to Regression here where it's streaming in full for the whopping price of zero pesos. Now you can take your turn at inflating Theories' ego this time, because they very well deserve to be proud of themselves.