Poetry
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Posts: 1014
Visited by: 386 users
Original post
Posted by Soliloquy, 17.05.2006 - 03:24
anyways, you guys know the rules. post somethig you wrote, or a friend of yours wrote. or if you dont want to post some poem, you can always read others work and comment on that. unlike the last poetry thread, lets try to comment on every poem we get in.
(if you want me to add or remove something, just PM me, and i'll edit it right away.)
whatsacow |
10.03.2011 - 08:31
I might try my hand at comedy too. By the way, if you have morals, maybe you shouldn't read this. Everytime I look into your eyes I feel Butterflies and a fire inside. That can't be put out with any form of water... Not something that can be half assed... well I guess sorta.... I never used to be into necrophelia. I never used to get into five hundred year olds named cecelia... I could never fathom dead girl to be with... While making love I always preferred to be the one that was stiff... But that all changed... When I saw her half eaten, worm ridden face... With one eye hanging out and magots all over the place... I put parts of her in a doggie bag so nothing goes to waste... You say having intercourse With a diseased, no brained corpse Is a lot like taking kirsten stewart by force Well I understand where you're coming from of course Her acting is dead and quite a bore... And she'll take anyone to bed, even pauly shore. And to be sure, she is a whore, but she prefers to be with the dead or woodland animals. (very half assed rhyme, much like her acting)
---- When God made up the golden rule, do you think he noticed that it condones rape?
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Gathering Storm Account deleted |
12.03.2011 - 19:36 Gathering Storm
Account deleted Written by whatsacow on 10.03.2011 at 08:31 LMAO! That was really funny, specially since I didn't read the first part and for a moment I thought it was actually serious.. awesome write! keep at it A cold lonely night, The moon bright, the stars: Dead... A little creek, a wooden swing, A child's laughter like a scream The rustling leaves, the sound of steps A whisper that is never heard Those piercing eyes like water ice, The longing soul that lives alone So warm, so cold So new, so old To the moon a raven sings, To a web a spider clings, A drop of water slowly falls to a leaf that no life holds And a child in the swing, A little child that no ones sees. Saffron hair gliding through the wind And those green eyes, like water ice They pierce my soul and my heart dies...
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Raging Dreamer |
13.03.2011 - 04:35 Written by ANGEL REAPER on 27.02.2011 at 03:10 That'sss.... actually kinda creepy lol... I liked some parts though, and aside from the grammar and spelling issues, it makes pretty decent lyrics. I think I liked the first 2 stanzas the best. I think the piling body parts together really didn't quite fit with the imagery in my head, though. Still, an interesting piece. Will probably go well with the music.
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
28.03.2011 - 00:33
Your Stinky Hands Im sleeping in a room, Im alive or dead , I dont know Is it my soul or ashes who's returning whit a storm, but your smile calls a wind who blows all away agan I only hear you saying:'' Dont touch me whit your stinky hands'' Im looking to the wall, I dont know if Im try to fall in sleep or fade away Im in a dream now, I dont know if Im going up or falling down Did I reach a sky or hit a ground, I only remeber I only hear you saying:'' Dont touch me whit your stinky hands'' I dont remeber if I shoot to stars or moon In this place nobody cares if you eat whit your hands or silver spoon I dont know if I dance like king or fool I only hear you saying:'' Dont touch me whit your stinky hands'' I dont know what Im looking for , is it space or is it time I dont know what hepend whit all friends what I once knew I dont know if I need stay alive anylonger, because I only hear you saying:'' Dont touch me whit your stinky hands''
---- Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!! Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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Raging Dreamer |
08.04.2011 - 01:03 Written by whatsacow on 01.03.2011 at 13:41 Oh where the hell was i ? You'll have to pardon my half-drunken state... Sometimes there just isn't enough alcohol... or chocolate, whichever you prefer..thank the gods for the backspace button here.. or my spelling would be terrible...Sorry for being gone for so long... I first was extremely busy with work, then I got strep throat for over a week... lovely.. now my husband is out of work... so yeah...a lovely month i've been having... i'll try to get some reviews done but let's see how i do whilst buzzing lol... I don't know why, but were you a little buzzed too when you wrote this? It seems like a mix of guilt and speaking about the state of mind a lot of people have in the present world... it is as if you are speaking of your own emptiness or the emptiness of others... there were a couple of grammar/typo mistakes, but nothing that is uncommon to the english speaker... could have been not could of been... that's normal because of the way words are formed and sound when speaking... i edit english so i pick up on it easier... Still, as always, your poems have profound meaning in today's world... these things will never be dated, but are the result of today's feelings and world.. which is sad to say is true... emptiness, feeling nothing, the morality that should be but is no longer... honor gone astray... but still... could they be reconciled? could they return? Great thoughts... keep up the good work, and please pardon the half-drunkenness.
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Raging Dreamer |
08.04.2011 - 01:18 Written by whatsacow on 03.03.2011 at 15:03 your thought process seem to be dwelling on the emptiness of the human mind and its perceptions... you seem to be longing for something more... some meaning in this life that seems to be lacking that very thing... it is only when we decide to fight that life gains meaning, whether that fight is in our own minds or if that fight is physical. effects justify or effect justifies, by the way. just to perfect your already wonderful poems... keep up the good work.. you are a very deep thinker ... i enjoy reading your thoughts... Raging Dreamer
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Raging Dreamer |
08.04.2011 - 01:31 Written by Guest on 07.03.2011 at 22:25 hehhehe... well apparently i've never played this game. what game is it from?
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Raging Dreamer |
08.04.2011 - 01:36 Written by Wilkinson on 08.03.2011 at 16:17 Seems like the aftermath of a battle, the hysteria, the lack of realization that it's over... the adrenaline still pumping... the madness still at reign... Very interesting and very good description... good job!
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Wilkinson |
08.04.2011 - 02:37
@ Raging Dreamer --- this is basically what is was about. Well, especially towards the end. Lots of personal references involved here as well.
---- Can you hear the Tales from the Ocean Submerged cities and haunted wrecks Can you hear the Tales from Nowhere The wind will tell you, if you listen After the Rain.. http://running-after-the-rainbow.blogspot.com
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ErnilEnNaur Account deleted |
08.04.2011 - 10:11 ErnilEnNaur
Account deleted Written by Raging Dreamer on 08.04.2011 at 01:31 It's from The Warcraft III Expansion Set The Frozen Throne. Without a doubt one of the greatest games ever made
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Lit. Metalhead Account deleted |
09.04.2011 - 23:07 Lit. Metalhead
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In the process of writing a poem made in tribute to our own Patty Hearst. It coming out rather slowly, though. This is all I have: "I follow them because there are no other. I follow them like lambs to the slaughter. I'd follow them to Hell and back. Duck and cover, you're under attack!" Still working on it...
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
09.04.2011 - 23:37
Feeling I have a feeling, feeling Im gonna die Die in summer When cool wind take me far away Where sun will shine till I stay there When river stream takes me far away Where in nightime all soul windows are open wide, Souls are creaming when sad muisc angels play Where green treas makes me apologies Because I rung this bell of changes I have a feeling, feeling Im gonna die in autumn When I will fall, fall like last leafe from sleeping tree When cold rain will makes me wet and last kiss in a rain makes me upsest When last sunshine disaprears under highest mountains I will discovrer secret place where giants sleeps I have a feeling, feeling Im gonna die in winter I will froze, like watter turns to ice When sun will die and ice shines like a diamond My coffing be left under snow Ground be to frozen to dig my grave I have a feeling, feeling Im gonna die in spring When snow will melt and fading away When brirds sings their songs about awaking I will see last time my life line like a horizon Far away far awat far away Mentall Ilness Im falling in my dreams I hold my pillow tide Im sorry for my sweting face, there is mentall inlness in my soul Gallows are my serenity But I dont see my imaginary friends no more Im traveling in time now, I see my fields of conceqvencies Screaming soul and mental tormnet All sorrows makes me try to hang me.... please take me To farway lands whit hopes and new frontier to reach Where is no beloved hugs, no pain and hate no need for hanging in old ropes
---- Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!! Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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Insineratehymn Account deleted |
10.04.2011 - 00:21 Insineratehymn
Account deleted
Ever since I went to a poetry rendezvous in September of last year, my desire to write poetry has been rekindled. Not only that, but I see poetry as a way to eloquently express an idea. Here is one I recently composed, my longest so far. Kleptocracy Deep inside their marble halls, Built from the labor of workers unpaid, The Lords of Wall Street submerge themselves In green seas of fortune Wrenched from the hands Of the taxpayer. One Lord did proclaim, "Ponder not the consequences, Fear not the fallout, For we are too big to fail. No matter the circumstance, No matter how deep the hole, No matter how terrible the disaster, The government shall pull us out, For they are indentured to us, And they shall forever serve our will." And so the Lords continued To bathe themselves in stolen wealth, But beyond the golden walls Of obscene opulence, The masses are huddled In gloomy concrete shells, Devoid of light or warmth. On the icy floor, A man lies motionless, Gaunt and pale, With tears in his eyes. His hopes have been shattered. His dreams have turned to dust. As he falls asleep, One thought dominates his mind: Revolution. He wishes for the day When his neighbors shall rise And stand as one Against the wealth-mongers. He wishes for the day When Wall Street is engulfed in flames, And those golden walls, Which once towered So menacingly above the masses, Come tumbling down. Only when that day finally arrives, Only when the kleptocracy finally falls, Will he smile once again.
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Cyroth |
10.04.2011 - 00:42
Hi guys, took me some time to get back, but I had a lack of inspiration like never before. So from my rusty mind I give you: To a final act I have foreseen myself in shadows Surrounded by?hollow The pain of time shows Not on my skin, but on my soul. Like nails of the iron maiden, Torturer life is without haven. With a breath of mist overhead Would my grave become the bed? Withered away like the old oak From this ground to be broke, Leaves would dance in the sky Carried by wind so up high. Now, here commences a final act: The rush of blood from the impact? One last blink, one last breath And now death?
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whatsacow |
14.04.2011 - 03:15
The sound of silence fills your lungs As you scream for someone to save you from your watery tomb. You acknowledge you're own hopelessness Yet you still pray. Praying to a god you don't believe in. Praying to the maker you denied. God is dead. Philosophy is dead. Science is dead. You proved our own worthlessness and plunged us into this abyss. There is no hope. Faithless, we drift as you drown. Without aim, we self destruct. Without our deities we immerse ourselves in anarchaic malevolence. We preferred our beligerent bliss. We preferred our lives when they made sense. When they had a purpose. So as you're lungs fill with water, I pull you out. I lay you on the land. As you lay dying, I want the last thing that you see To be the world you destroyed. What you took away from me. From us.
---- When God made up the golden rule, do you think he noticed that it condones rape?
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
15.04.2011 - 13:28
She is comming out of the mist Restless girl whit a flower at her arms She's falling appart in the morning light From yesterday where she broke her heart She's going beck in a night Feelling fine and smoking cigarettes She's dancing agan Whit many friends what makes it hepen Im wasting a dance Hiding in a darknened corner Im wasting this feeling Sleeping long long long hours at day time Im just wasting a fun Falling on ground when see those faces Im wasting a life Wating things what never will come One The Way Im on the way now, I dont know where to go I dont want turn beck and go home I better linger in this cold place how please for help Im on the way now, I dont know in what place and time I will stop Im falling appaert now, it doesnt metter if I scream or cry I can not satify you not even me Im on the way now, Im running down a dream Dream is over now, but I still can not wake up Whit our whit out you , my dear friend Im on the way now, Im start new life in wastlands I bought you roses and ask for lats dance in this cold rain But I remeber that smale, it brings beck to me a lot of forgotten pain Im on the way now, Im aproching forgotten places into my soul I appologies , but you still make me cry Even deep inside I know it wasnt my faulth it hepened Im on the way now, feels Im wasting my life I sad to you something deep from my soul, but like a bird you fly away If defending my own wrights are crime, hang me in gallowes for eternity Sometimes I wish I never know why time exist I wish I could be you, see it whit your eyes In the day talking whit you near closest station In the night time, wishing I could feel how warm n safe your home could be Its monday to friday Im in love agan , you and me Im (flying)hight agan enjoy it evever way how I can Its weekend , Im alone agan , didnt mean to hurt you I didnt mean waste this time, but neider did you Its monday, Im flying agan , you and me ...and friday What we feel agan , landing in seperate rooms I wish I can stop a time, but it keeps spinning around
---- Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!! Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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Raging Dreamer |
16.04.2011 - 07:54 Written by whatsacow on 10.03.2011 at 08:31 Ahhhh! Necrophilia in a poem. I love it! Very amusing!
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Raging Dreamer |
16.04.2011 - 08:03 Written by Guest on 12.03.2011 at 19:36 I like the little girl. It adds just the right amount of creepy to this. Some other parts were in the spirit of Mr. Jingles himself - as they used to call Edgar Poe (as I found out, the Allan part was taken from his stepfather, whom he hated, and only used that name once, when he needed money). They called him Mr. Jingles because of the sing-songy way he wrote his poems, with precise rhythm and rhyme. I also loved the description - Saffron hair. A word that's not used very often nowadays. Very inventive and reminiscent of the old days; good word usage!
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
16.04.2011 - 22:08 Written by whatsacow on 10.03.2011 at 08:31 Offer it to CC Exelent work, maybe lil ''wird'' but goor like poetry what was on your mind when you write it? Gathering Storm - I like your to, some sad, epuc words, but same time not so painfuill at all, I like it Întunecatul - good one but seesm abnd IM totaly make us when we hear it think about metal how torture tool, I like secend part of poem better, I try visualise all how it could be if I see it in real life WAC - awesome, each line has meening, put all together I cant still need time to figure out hehe, but I like opening about lungs, souds liek smokers last pratyer before he dies of lung cancer, or nin smokers hate anger, who has born whit soem lung deasies and suffers since his birth
---- Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!! Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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whatsacow |
16.04.2011 - 23:44 Written by Bad English on 16.04.2011 at 22:08 Nah lol. It's conceptual. It's about a man who proved god doesn't exist, therefore destroying hope, faith, and a structure of morality. This one tells a story.
---- When God made up the golden rule, do you think he noticed that it condones rape?
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metaloprama Posts: 8 From: Lesotho |
01.05.2011 - 04:00
Only uncle lemmy can get some good poetry together. no i wasnt(joking),i'm serious. Kavafis http://www.cavafy.com/ there is an article online with the title 'as good as great poetry gets',i agree.
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
01.05.2011 - 13:17 Written by metaloprama on 01.05.2011 at 04:00 Lemmy can write only shit nothing not even close to bad poetry and this is about our works not other
---- Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!! Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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metaloprama Posts: 8 From: Lesotho |
01.05.2011 - 19:27
Oo,why are you so bitter?well,i might be one of the few who can appreciate him. sorry i didnt notice,i'm gone spent some time reading when my head is a little less heavier.
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Reza Account deleted |
03.05.2011 - 15:39 Reza
Account deleted
Look into my eyes, There's a secret behind my face It's unrealized, The only reason to the race It sounds strange, Full of mystery to me I'm flying into a rage, Need something to set me free Listen to my heart, to the voice of my pain Now it's the time to burst into flame once again There's a way, Above me through the darkness That's so far away, Shine my dim star, I'm restless Take me higher, I see the mountain peak My inner fire, lead me to the zenith
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ANGEL REAPER |
04.05.2011 - 00:11
Great words scattered in the winds Wasted, not carved in stone Closest thing to immortality All my time spent running From death - die tired! Scars of happiness Closest thing to being alive Standing ready for each battle I've dreamed away all my life BACK FROM THE DEAD - I AM AWAKE INVOKING LIGHT , THE DARKNESS IS MINE!
---- "Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..." "Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
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Cyroth |
09.05.2011 - 20:41
Scarred This bleak world turns on relentless Whilst we stand still This world is so reckless Shatters the last drop of will Then hold to the fading colors The grayest of life is yet to come Pushing rapidly to forsake Creating this nightmare from which you cannot wake No healing for the graved souls No meaning behind the walls The more you hope, the more you suffer If you believe, then you shall shatter No straws to pick a forsaken luck Whilst darkness will not depart It will dwell inside to scar There is no rest for a damaged heart
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Cyroth |
19.05.2011 - 08:22 Written by therest on 19.05.2011 at 02:10 heh, thx dude
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therest |
19.05.2011 - 21:47 Written by Cyroth on 19.05.2011 at 08:22 Btw, have you read Nick Cave's "And the Ass Saw the Angel"? I think you would enjoy it very much. Those two lines I pointed out relate to this book for me a lot. You have a similar way of expressing yourself (which is a very good thing because Nick Cave is a master at that type of writing). You ought to read it. It would do good for your writing, I think.
---- "It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything." - Homer Simpson "Then hold to the fading colors The grayest of life is yet to come" - Întunecatul
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
19.05.2011 - 21:48
Electric/Accustic We born at day We born at nighty Life is just like a lullaby, Doesnt metter how you start it ellectric or accustic I did not mean make it wrong, I wanted hold it litle longer I did not want to do it, but now life is full whit shame It hurts so much when thay say we are so expencive And when they made us come, made us in cheep way New lulaby can make you smile, when old love burns New love can make you smile, when old lulaby ends I didnt smoke your cigarettes but I died from your wishes You balme me, I left you emty , but my only gold wa smy wizdome We die at day We die at nighy Life is just a lulaby Doesnt metter how you end it ellectric or accostic Hallways In darkened hallway I strand alone I paralize my last life lines Paralize my hopes and dreams, locked entrence to tomb I see how other spirits try to kiss, lips try colide I see how spirits pass true each other, cause they cant hug And I see a place where ancient battle ships are wonder in doomed seas of tranqvilitty
---- Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!! Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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Cyroth |
19.05.2011 - 23:50 Written by therest on 19.05.2011 at 21:47 No, I haven't, never heard of him. Well, maybe I'll make some time for it this summer. As inspiration I usually go to Insomnium's or Dark Tranquillity's lyrics, or I listen to Agalloch.
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