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The original post

Posted by Soliloquy on 17.05.2006 at 03:24
since MS started all overagain, i decidied to get rid of the numbers. but i believe this should have been the 5th poetry thread.

anyways, you guys know the rules. post somethig you wrote, or a friend of yours wrote. or if you dont want to post some poem, you can always read others work and comment on that. unlike the last poetry thread, lets try to comment on every poem we get in.

(if you want me to add or remove something, just PM me, and i'll edit it right away.)



Page 27 of 33

ANGEL REAPER

Posts: 2959

Age: 22
From: Serbia

  16.01.2012 at 15:06
Written by 3rdWorld on 16.01.2012 at 12:43

Written by ANGEL REAPER on 16.01.2012 at 00:09

Thieves

Stealing from life, looting the death
Took what we can, than run away
Leave no trace, disappear at will
Own what you want, keep what you've killed

Nice one. Btw, how long will it take you to finish up a single poem???

well its finished ...this one...isnt it?
the details may change...its never ending process ...why you ask?
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
3rdWorld

Posts: 908

Age: 22
From: India

  16.01.2012 at 15:17
Written by ANGEL REAPER on 16.01.2012 at 15:06

Written by 3rdWorld on 16.01.2012 at 12:43

Nice one. Btw, how long will it take you to finish up a single poem???

well its finished ...this one...isnt it?
the details may change...its never ending process ...why you ask?

1.Ya, its finished. But i was asking abt the average time.
2.I stress myslf too much to write original verses each time i write something, it takes to month to write poems. I switched my style to a more lenient and free flowing one,but it still isn't working for me.
ANGEL REAPER

Posts: 2959

Age: 22
From: Serbia

  16.01.2012 at 15:45
Written by 3rdWorld on 16.01.2012 at 15:17

1.Ya, its finished. But i was asking abt the average time.
2.I stress myslf too much to write original verses each time i write something, it takes to month to write poems. I switched my style to a more lenient and free flowing one,but it still isn't working for me.

1.this one took 3 years to be finished from the starting idea to the last line...and few previous ones took roughly 15 mins-half an hour to be finished...i think it all depends on inspiration...i do it impulsively most of the times so the verses just pop into my head...usually i tend not to improve them in order to make them as raw as possible ..."ugly diamonds"
2.take it easy if you want so bad to make good one you will probably end with none ... i dont know what other guys here write stuff but as far as i can tell you be natural and just let it appears suddenly,and when it appears write it down...
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
3rdWorld

Posts: 908

Age: 22
From: India

  16.01.2012 at 15:54
Written by ANGEL REAPER on 16.01.2012 at 15:45

Written by 3rdWorld on 16.01.2012 at 15:17

1.Ya, its finished. But i was asking abt the average time.
2.I stress myslf too much to write original verses each time i write something, it takes to month to write poems. I switched my style to a more lenient and free flowing one,but it still isn't working for me.

1.this one took 3 years to be finished
2.take it easy if you want so bad to make good one you will probably end with none ... i dont know what other guys here write stuff but as far as i can tell you be natural and just let it appears suddenly,and when it appears write it down...

1.
2. It only appears natural when i'm in an emotional fluxion.Otherwise its whipping the dead horse.Right now i hav a lot of free time, but laying wasted being uninspired. But must finish a verse or two now.
whatsacow

Posts: 1976

Age: 22
From: Australia

  20.01.2012 at 23:53
Written by ANGEL REAPER on 16.01.2012 at 15:45

Written by 3rdWorld on 16.01.2012 at 15:17

1.Ya, its finished. But i was asking abt the average time.
2.I stress myslf too much to write original verses each time i write something, it takes to month to write poems. I switched my style to a more lenient and free flowing one,but it still isn't working for me.

1.this one took 3 years to be finished from the starting idea to the last line...and few previous ones took roughly 15 mins-half an hour to be finished...i think it all depends on inspiration...i do it impulsively most of the times so the verses just pop into my head...usually i tend not to improve them in order to make them as raw as possible ..."ugly diamonds"
2.take it easy if you want so bad to make good one you will probably end with none ... i dont know what other guys here write stuff but as far as i can tell you be natural and just let it appears suddenly,and when it appears write it down...


3 years to write a poem?! It takes me an hour or two

As you could probably tell by the lack of quality
----
When God made up the golden rule, do you think he noticed that it condones rape?
Întunecatul

Posts: 273

Age: 22
From: Romania

  21.01.2012 at 21:32
Fresh out of the oven

January's sway

Days have passed, withering fast
I am dwelling in this artificial heat as coldness never felt so hot.
January still sways me far from the light
How did I get caught?

It seems this chapter was like the one before,
Was it just a publishing mistake,
Or maybe I can't accept its take?
Yet I feel this answer will be…left for yore.

And I should take a glance around,
Hide my fear so I can see and hear…
All of this, because of you my dear,
Just so I won't wake up underground.

I…am still walking, through the winds you throw at me
I…am still longing, for the days you took from me
Too much to contemplate for me to say farewell
So just leave me behind and set sail
----
Bad English
nobody

Posts: 37420

Age: 29
From: Sweden

  22.01.2012 at 15:44
Therest - since I dont a workd I cant judge a poem, but it was quate OK, maybe didferenbt how I wrote but OK, I like it but I have not read a bock I dont know idea come from

Întunecatul - My Minds Exile
Interesting poem, i like 1th 4 lines best

WAC - what is vow
Pretty awesome, when I start read it was good but word by word goes better and better and those 3 lines who am I .... its so powerfull, realy great job

Next one is good to

In - your experment poetry, as far i remeber now I can remeber now its ebst you have written, I dont know was it you who wrote poem whit title poetry III parts , if yes its your best world, in fo this realy awesome

Amgel - Raven .... its shood be awesome BM whit lil melo touches song lyric, exelent workd
Destroyer .... its more song how poetry, .... you in word s can be better , nothing personaly dude, but its week for poetry but same time poetry is what outor feels

32 - week

Lit - I read a title I thought its stoned metal LOL some kind a hippie flowe stuff but I read it its awesome, I enjoy it

Int - good one 4 diferent storie sin one poetry ,s ame times whit meaning and good world play

Angel - good one , can be good song

WAC - its funny for 100% english speekers it can be like xmass joke song, good comic poem

Int - destructive also good workd, its funeral doom

Angel - Thiefs , my advise dont tell it to politicans, its about politicans hahahhaa

Januarys way - it will work more and more emotionaly if march till december
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Omnicosm

Posts: 25

Age: 26
From: USA

  25.01.2012 at 02:13
First poem posted here on MetalStorm. I've enjoyed some material I've checked out on here, and I thought I'd throw this out for some feedback.

-Evisceral-

In this moment, I am hollowed. The cavity of my soul seems scraped of substance. With viscera removed, there is less to feel its absence with. I clutch to the ability to acknowledge this: the ability to feel the waning, the choking, the dying of internal flame. Exuberant and illustrious no more.

Here I stand on the edge of this monolith of stone, struggling against the urges to gaze down its face. Its infinite face. The pale slate leading forever down into the horizon beneath me, the vanishing point of night oblivion. My soles shift on gravel. As the pebbles fall—light specks backdropped with an ocean of black—I can gauge the depth of my insanity.

Stagnation. I am petrified. A wrenching, overwhelming gale of fear. This cutting wind inflates my gaping void, and I feel the workings of the erosion that has emptied me. And continually will. The abyss to my side beckons me, and it now seems welcoming. I cannot stand to feel this any longer. I cannot stand to not feel any longer.

My legs buckle beneath me, and I am suddenly jarred into awareness of myself. A friction of textures illuminates my hand, sliding against a smooth, cold surface. Face to face with an upward reaching cliffside. I rear my head back, neck gnarled from ages of fixation, and my deadened grey eyes stretch skyward. Radiance. Bathed and blinded by its light, I am compelled to climb.

As I precariously trace my way up this eternal spire—unaware of purpose, aware only of desire—I feel the pinching call of the blackness in my mind. My gaze kinks back from whence I came, and I know that my progress is no more than delusion. I cannot reach what never ends.

Forever up, or forever down, and knowing this story is not mine, I am wracked with endless confusion. A chaotic tempest of vast ignorance that intrinsically strips my perceptions of their illusory meaning and form, and I am left with nothing.

I know nothing. I feel nothing. I am nothing.

But I still am.

-SSS

© 2010
----
Cheers.
Întunecatul

Posts: 273

Age: 22
From: Romania

  25.01.2012 at 17:26
@Bad English - yes I wrote a trilogy named Poetry ; thanks for the kind words, I'm happy that there are some who appreciate what I write.
I am currently working on a 5 piece poem named Grief. The idea I am going for is the 5 stages of grief applied to a break up.

Grief - Part I: Denial

Night is frozen in time, leaving behind
Leaving us motionless
Can't get away from the pain, can't be thoughtless
And find a way for some peace of mind.

Lying in awe for hours in silence
Lifeless memories run through me
There is no ease, no light that I can see…
Your departure can't find acceptance

6 in the morning and I'm still up
Hours gone by in the silence of night
Life has become dead inside
Victim of this dying light

Blocked in this state, blocked in a cage
I should contemplate this change…
But how can I forget so fast…accept you're a thing of the past
A thing of the past…

Written by Omnicosm on 25.01.2012 at 02:13

...................

I like the pondering it implies, not so much a fan of the form, seems more of a monologue and not enough of a poem. Although, personally I'm a fan of the traditional form I do enjoy non-conventional forms from time to time.
----
Bad English
nobody

Posts: 37420

Age: 29
From: Sweden

  25.01.2012 at 21:15
Wow I like it greta work, realy greta I try imagine it visualy I hope I can
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Danzig666

Posts: 183

Age: 33
From: USA

  28.01.2012 at 21:33
I haven't been on this site in a loooooooooong time, but I wanted to share lyrics I just wrote to use when I finally get a nice slow dreary DOOM band started out here in New Jersey....no title yet but I hope you enjoy and suggest one if you like

Ancient Spirits of the coastal shores lie dormant in the depths no more
invoke upon their legions to settle a most ancient score
across the vast unending sea the sirens shreik their angelic calls
echoing through the bloodlines of mans most hallowed and sacred halls
towards both these harlots and terrible uncertainty they did sail
willingly towards their deaths under a moon so bright and pale


raging tides of pain crashing down upon far distant rock
Relentless waves of doom drown each and every waking thought
sheep led to their slaughter by the sultry female voice
history set on repeat men never had much choice

Fever, madness, plague and disease await upon the cold unforgiving sea
fog creeps into the psyche all consuming me
Humanity lost miles behind rooted to the shore
frozen to thy very soul deep within its inner core

on a sinking ship in the vast corridors of the mind
slowly descend in this abyss trapped both in space and time
lured to my destiny a vessel i become
an earthly body i cease to have one


Above me life glistens and shines so vividly bright
I sink to the dark ocean floor illuminated by dreaming light
in these depths, Beauty, weary head on a Nereides breast
Eternity in stalemate with Davey Jones in chess.
----
Open your Mouth to my Bloody Reign!
Bad English
nobody

Posts: 37420

Age: 29
From: Sweden

  02.02.2012 at 01:58
Im staring at the time

Im staring at the time
and hope it fades away
never undertend esence of it

Im staring at the time
and hope it dont exist in afterlife
never wanted to feel this

Im staring at the time
and hope end is close
never like those who I can not comand

Im staring at the time
and hope its easy
never walked half mile in eternety

Im staring at the time
and opening portals
never know how cant I come beck

Im staring at the time
and closing sorrows what i left behind
never know my idols can cry

Im staring at the time
and broking appart
never wanted enter to this world

Im staring at the time
and dying alone
never know its be so easy wake up deat to this world

Im staring to time
and selling my life to auction
never know all my expenices was payed



Crimson tears

In the shades of twilight
daylight screams
and rejecteded illusions
about deadly love
and eternal painful solitude
tears are flowing weaker how you thought
If you ride on crimson tears
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
ANGEL REAPER

Posts: 2959

Age: 22
From: Serbia

  10.02.2012 at 01:36
A bit too raw but i like this one:

The crowning

Dance ,oh dance shadows
Around me,dont you dare leaving
My broken,lone heart
Up,from the frosted abyss
Where solitude sleeps ,rose me
Oh,everlasting fire
Cry out with raven's voice
The songs now long forgotten
Oh you desolated proud wind

In the temple of sorrows
The vengeful spirits : RISE!
From deepest slumber
From drunken gods to the
Lowest of the hounds
Hear my call for the damned

Witches ,long despised
Sing to me ,you are so
Dear to my heart
As the light struggles to
Postpone its demise and
I am so close to my throne
In this solemn hour,
I shall take my crown
As the king of unlighted
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
Bad English
nobody

Posts: 37420

Age: 29
From: Sweden

  11.02.2012 at 00:33
AR - I love it good one good make sme in good mode, perfectly desrive sthis time of year in a north
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
ANGEL REAPER

Posts: 2959

Age: 22
From: Serbia

  11.02.2012 at 08:59
Written by Bad English on 11.02.2012 at 00:33

AR - I love it good one good make sme in good mode, perfectly desrive sthis time of year in a north

oh thanks....
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
Wilkinson

Posts: 31

Age: 23
From: France

  17.02.2012 at 00:52
A night alone to fly the Moon-lit sky
I must follow the pale and silver light
Distant beacons, the stars echo my sigh
As I travel to find the Source of Might

Silence and peace reveal the true, deep Soul
When all have left to sleep behind their walls
I find the Light inside the darkest coal
It hides until the noisy curtain falls

Forests and woods where life abounds and sings
I walk between the trees where waters flow
Among the ruins of castles built for Kings
Who rule the world while greater secrets grow

The Temple where I learnt the Sacred Dance
Shall always echo with your glorious chants
© 2012
----
Can you hear the Tales from the Ocean
Submerged cities and haunted wrecks
Can you hear the Tales from Nowhere
The wind will tell you, if you listen

After the Rain.. http://running-after-the-rainbow.blogspot.com
Bad English
nobody

Posts: 37420

Age: 29
From: Sweden

  18.02.2012 at 16:37
Written by Wilkinson on 17.02.2012 at 00:52

© 2012


I love it good work, I like that there is no title it fits best here, great epic work I try image it visiualy
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Wilkinson

Posts: 31

Age: 23
From: France

  19.02.2012 at 01:19
Thanks! The reason for the absence of title is actually that I wasn't feeling very creative anymore and couldn't find anything. I posted it on my blog under the title "[Sonnet]" but would like to find something a little more.. creative.
----
Can you hear the Tales from the Ocean
Submerged cities and haunted wrecks
Can you hear the Tales from Nowhere
The wind will tell you, if you listen

After the Rain.. http://running-after-the-rainbow.blogspot.com
Bad English
nobody

Posts: 37420

Age: 29
From: Sweden

  21.02.2012 at 14:47
Lying Stars

In this poetry lovers ment to be lost
Doing it every night and trying to stop a time
In that tragic night cold waves swallowed
and cold winds destroyed what still remaindet
and stars are lying when falling from the sky
saying there is no sin beyond lovers
and stars are lying when falling from the sky
saying heros can not die
and stars are lying when falling from the sky
saying I can not die
and stars are lying when falling from the sky
saying soul can not feel


My bride - cold winter wind

My bride - cold winter wind
blazing trough midvinter skies
destroying last crimosn landspaces
She take me where eternety stand still

My bride - cold winter wind
Crying silent tears
in last days of april
sleeping silently till next time
she makes me feel solitude

My bride- cold winter wind
Sleeping on hollow land
never waking again
she brings on me guilt

My bride - cold winter wind
crpiting signs of unreal love
never asking why
she kills me silently

My bride - cold winter wind
Calling my name in mid winter foolmoon night
never knowing ansver
she can not bring me beck to this life ag
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Narcosis

Posts: 9

Age: 22
From: Estonia

  26.02.2012 at 17:42
A still-life of despair
the putrid stench of dead aeons
the breathless moon-
guardian of night-
your silver light is sharp
look at us now
vitness the grotesque
pounding of hearts
the grotesque trampling of boots
foul corpses piled upon hope
----
To the death of love, the death of hope and the death of all beauty!
vezzy
Stallmanite

Posts: 3490
From: Bulgaria

  26.02.2012 at 22:18
Written by Narcosis on 26.02.2012 at 17:42

[The Darkening Ecliptic or some shit]


Holy shit, I didn't know you were alive, Ern Malley!
----
Licensed under the GPLv3.
Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
Narcosis

Posts: 9

Age: 22
From: Estonia

  26.02.2012 at 22:41
The Darkening Ecliptic? What does that mean?
----
To the death of love, the death of hope and the death of all beauty!
Bad English
nobody

Posts: 37420

Age: 29
From: Sweden

  27.03.2012 at 00:38
Old Birch Trea

Old birch trea
Collector Of Souls
Grinding shymphony makes you old
Whyle you are defending your roots

Old birch trea
Defender Of Life
In mornful lands of forgotten
Where temporaly solitude is an ansver

Old birch trea
Bringer of end
Under darkened clouds
Killing last hopes of maidends in this temple

Old birch trea
Taker of dreams
Your dark shadows are dekorating this hallowland
When time temporaly bannish millions from entering

Old birch trea
Guardian of art
Your leafes makes her blod pail
And her name will be remebered for eternity

Old birch trea
You are more beautiful how Countless ...
Elizabeth, Elizabetrh Bathory



----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Bad English
nobody

Posts: 37420

Age: 29
From: Sweden

  03.04.2012 at 01:21
Daylight Drifters


Daylight drifters are calling
A dawn who's entering
When children are smiling

Daylight drifters are playing
When morning comes in freedomland
Hungry wolves are silent

Daylight drifters are sleeping
When afternoon brings calm
And alcholic dreams fades away

Daylight driffters are awaking
The Dusk who comes unwanted
nd make the hallowman fade away

Daylight driffters screaming
When eve brings tornado
When haunted souls wants be left alone

Daylight driffters dying
When night sings silent lulaby
And cold are grave open wide on this horror land
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
ANGEL REAPER

Posts: 2959

Age: 22
From: Serbia

  05.04.2012 at 02:55
A side product to my music writing hobby :

i am the descent of black gods
a reamanent of past times
when gods were still young
a lost child of the wilds

i am the descent of elder times
a dark that hide in light
when might was at high price
a last of the great line

i am the warrior left to live
a one that tell tales to winds
when forests are dark and moon is high
a last one to enter the dawn
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
Bad English
nobody

Posts: 37420

Age: 29
From: Sweden

  05.04.2012 at 18:33
Written by ANGEL REAPER on 05.04.2012 at 02:55

A side product to my music writing hobby :

i am the descent of black gods
a reamanent of past times
when gods were still young
a lost child of the wilds

i am the descent of elder times
a dark that hide in light
when might was at high price
a last of the great line

i am the warrior left to live
a one that tell tales to winds
when forests are dark and moon is high
a last one to enter the dawn


Wow power meets whit atmo folk black awesome I love elders, when gods wa syouyng , lost child i want to write simmilar stuff but well, I realy like this great epic work
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
ANGEL REAPER

Posts: 2959

Age: 22
From: Serbia

  05.04.2012 at 19:33
Written by Bad English on 05.04.2012 at 18:33

Wow power meets whit atmo folk black awesome I love elders, when gods wa syouyng , lost child i want to write simmilar stuff but well, I realy like this great epic work

oh thanks man... like i said i listen to Bathory a lot these days so i probably picked the vibe ...nevertheless i'm glad you liked it....
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
ANGEL REAPER

Posts: 2959

Age: 22
From: Serbia

  08.04.2012 at 01:29
Wind

Over the vast planes and distant seas
Over slumbered villages and wretched fields
Through every warrior's heart and hollow soul
Both most pleasant and grimmest cold

The only that remind us of our home
The one that blew the day we were borne
One that cries our names in vain
And the one that sends enemy souls away

The one that were here before our gods
and will be when men are long gone
The one that carries Raven's blackest wings
That depart us to the gates open wide

For every brave man knows its scent
And it alone in pain give us strength
Its our father,messenger,shield and death
The great cold wind call the brave
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
ANGEL REAPER

Posts: 2959

Age: 22
From: Serbia

  10.04.2012 at 23:29
I should totally stop reading PURGATORY comics and listening to BM after this :

as i sink into chaos
the little light i own
has ceased to exist
and i become the evil

haunted by her spirit
i am poisoned by blood
i am in love with ér horns
i am the truly damned

before the doorway to
my soul open wide
In instant i am free
I am fury incarnate
I am PURGATORY !


i see her smiling
mischevious,damn whore
bitch led me to the rats
and smiled to my blood

she is still part of me
dark that hide in light
she plays with my flesh
i'll serve her till death

before the doorway to
my soul open wide
In instant i am free
I am fury incarnate
I am PURGATORY !
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
Bad English
nobody

Posts: 37420

Age: 29
From: Sweden

  11.04.2012 at 00:56
AR I like 1th better good one every next 4 lines was weeker(no offense) I have same thing when i write opening is awesome and goues weeker, weeker
other poem was good , more how good song, it can be perfect but after 1th one what I read 10 times and try visualased, its harder get in secend one , both are good, but I like 1th better
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing

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