Goodbye, Fairwell and Amen!

Written by: Dane Train
Published: 01.04.2012
My Fellow Metal Stormers,

For almost the past decade Metal Storm has been my on-line home.

My community of like minded folks.

My refuge from the mundane.

My Metal Site.

It was a place where I was comfortable discussing which Dream Theater live acoustic cover album from 1997 was the best or why, in my opinion, Slayer only actually made one album and kept putting different titles on it. This was a place where despite our differences in political, social, religious, spiritual, and other such topics were celebrated, not discouraged. It was wonderful that this was a site where folks found it interesting that I fronted a Psychedelic Stoner Doom Metal band who played ancient Church hymns and chants.

But alas, the resent "decision" to make Metal Storm "funny" has gone too far for me. The old timers will remember when Disco Storm first happened, and it was brilliant. Every year, the folks who run this joint strive hard to make April the first a day of silliness and gags, reminding us all that we can't ever take Metal too seriously. I personally thought that last year's stunt was the best yet. I was all excited for this year's April's fool until I saw it...

Metal Storm has crossed the line! I can tolerated a lot of the ridiculousness that permeates this place, but when we begin adding in pornography that is too much. I understand that Metal music has a long standing history with sexual escapades and I am fine with that as long as I am only hearing about it. When I log on to check info on The Sword signing to a new label I have no desire to see a photo of underage midget's anally fisting in a Dora The Explorer shaped kiddy pool of peanut butter and canned tuna fish!

WHAT IS WRONG HERE! I know exactly what is wrong! Metal Storm is being run by a bunch of Godless heathens who are all going to burn in HELL! The constant abuse I have taken here on this site for my faith I thought made me a better personal than all of you. Well I was right. You are all sick, sad, pathetic and inane human beings. Folks like Marcel are a waste of a birth!

I pray that all of you will face the wrath of God soon. I will rejoice the day you all are stricken with boils and flesh rotten. I will dance with joy when your lives fall apart and all you know nothing but misery and disparage for this rude and disgusting behavior you've shown here today!

What is the worst part is that you think this is funny. Shame! Shame! SHAME! SHAME ON YOU ALL!!!

It goes with out saying, but for those of you who are too dumb to rationalize this, I am leaving! You're nothing but a bunch of shallow, retarded, liberal DEMOCRATES! I don't need you any more! Go! Listen to your satanic music. Play your evil Dungeons & Dragons! Fornicated and die from AIDS!

Look at your porn but just know that when you know the LORD you have no need for masturbation. When the Christian majority takes over this country, there will be no satanic churches, no more free distribution of pornography, no more talk of rights for homosexuals. After the Christian majority takes control, pluralism will be seen as immoral and evil and the state will not permit anybody the right to practice evil.

I am not ready to give this great nation over to one-world government extremists...radical, disease-carrying homosexuals...or anti-family lesbian feminists...or hate-mongering atheists who despise our religious beliefs...or the ACLU who would deny us our free speech rights...or anti-American U.N. Globalists!

If personal safety means discrimination, then I'm all for it!

With Love,
Dane


 



Written on 01.04.2012 by
Dane Train
Dane hails from Asheville, NC which is Beer City, USA. When he is not drinking various craft and micro brews, Dane fronts the Stoner Doom Metal band, The Quick. He also has a massive collection of Hellboy comic books.
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Marcel Hubregtse - 04.04.2012 at 23:26  
Written by JohnDoe on 04.04.2012 at 19:33

Too much hate and spite for someone who says he believes in God.


When did he post it?

No, the date on top is wrong hahahaha
Valentin B - 05.04.2012 at 01:17  
The most obvious sign he is just joking with this post is that his usual perfect spelling is absolutely atrocious here :p
Marcel Hubregtse - 05.04.2012 at 01:52  
Written by Valentin B on 05.04.2012 at 01:17

The most obvious sign he is just joking with this post is that his usual perfect spelling is absolutely atrocious here :p


He usually misspells quite a lot of words. There's nothing out of the ordinary here in that sense.
Vermoorden - 05.04.2012 at 05:19  
This is hilarious and sad at the same time.
JohnDoe - 05.04.2012 at 05:50  
So this article is a joke? I did not get that.
Mr. Doctor - 05.04.2012 at 13:23  
Written by JohnDoe on 05.04.2012 at 05:50

So this article is a joke? I did not get that.


You missed the april fools day then.
JohnDoe - 05.04.2012 at 17:43  
Written by Mr. Doctor on 05.04.2012 at 13:23

Written by JohnDoe on 05.04.2012 at 05:50

So this article is a joke? I did not get that.


You missed the april fools day then.


I did? He tricked me indeed then.

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