Beermerica... Fuck Yeah!


Written by: BitterCOld
Published: 20.08.2012


There are two types of people likely to check this out: those in the know and the fucking clueless that likely came here to make fun of Uncle Sam's suds mistakenly thinking our beer easy prey. To quote Admiral Akbar, "it's a trap, bitches."

I'm writing this as I've had to summarily dismiss several beer noobs on this site and figured it would be easy to pound out one diatribe which could just be linked in the forum rather than re-writing it each and every time some no-nothing tries to sound know-it-all on the subject of barley soda.

I love beer. Have since I found myself on Guam and stumbling into a couple bars with all sorts of non-Bud/Coors/Miller bottles lined up … had to try as many as I could. Something I haven't stopped since, only with the biggest difference being sometime in the mid-to-late 90s it started becoming less and less about imports and more and more about what's going on here.

I think the craft/micro beer explosion is the proud result of American brewing mediocrity.

(Please cue Bald Eagle and F-16's launching missiles imagery to accompany "America, Fuck Yeah!")

The Great American Beer Explosions simply *HAD* to happen. Why should we get stuck with beer so shitty that we get all excited about the same shit only with "ICE!" or "DRY!" attached to the end product when them damned Euros get all that great beer?

Ka-BOOM!

(fuck yeah!)

Craft Brewers, Microbrews, and Nanobrews started sprouting up everywhere like weeds after a monsoon. And like (delicious) weeds they continue to thrive. Craft beer now accounts for over 5% of beer sales in America, with an accelerating market share growth while the total market shrank 1.3%. There was actually an article running 'round the web recently in which some craft brewers expressed fears that there wouldn't be enough shelf space for 'em all.

Meh, so long as the local super markets still have the usual suspects clogging up space, there is room for more craft beer.

15 years ago if I walked in to a super market I'd be stoked to see Samuel Adams or Sierra Nevada. Now I'm disappointed if there aren't 20+ non-Bud/Miller/Coors options laid out for me. Even the local, BFE gas station/barber shop/tacqueria/mini-mart carries two refrigerator units with two warm displays of various craft and micro brews.



this shelf is full of 6.5%ABV win


Hell, there is now a bar smack in the heart of Amsterdam, Beer Temple, that touts itself as the first American beer bar of Europe. Yeah, you read that right. Hop in your way back machine, go back to the grunge/death metal era, and try to imagine having to explain to someone that a country surrounded by such proud brewing nations as Germany, England, and Belgium would have a bar that would proudly announce itself an American beer bar… and would successfully sell pints there for more than we pay for sixers here. You'd be laughed out of the party while being pelted with cans of Red Dog.

Beermerica.

Fuck Yeah.

(writer wipes a tear of pride from his eye)

Not to miss out on the action, I've teamed up with a buddy and have even started brewing. About a month from now our version of a Chinook IPA should be ready and fit for human consumption. (Full disclosure, he has done 3-4 batches prior and I'm riding co-pilot.)



all hopped up and ready to brew


And now when you listen to someone railing on American beer (why is American beer like making love in a canoe? Because it's fucking close to water…hahahahah!) you can instantly relegate them to the category of uneducated moron that likes to spout off on subjects they know nothing about… which happens a lot 'round these parts.

Starting Line-Up -my current regular rotation of faves:

1 - Dale's Pale Ale, Oskar Blues Brewing (Colorado) - favorite beer drinking beer. Period.
2 - Odells IPA, Odell (Colorado) - ah yeah, IPA. Nice and hopped up with some citrusy elements to add a little flavor.
3 - Modus Hoperandi, Ska Brewing Company (Colorado)- more CO, more IPA. Sensing a trend?
4 - Red Chair, Deschutes (Oregon) - dubbed a NWPA (Northwest Pale Ale), this fall (edit: err, 1st Quarter) seasonal nicely bridges the gap between a pale ale and an IPA. Hopped up, but still a smooth, easy drink.
5 - Ruination IPA, Stone Brewing (California) - not a big fan of most their beers, but I've lovingly dubbed a bomber of Ruination "the Kill Shot" to put me down after a night out.

In closing, beer is like music. By no means am I an expert or a know-it-all. I just know what I know, and that is right now Americans are making a LOT of awesome beer.

Cheers.


*Micro vs. Craft Brewery… Micros produce under 15,000 US Beer Barrels per year, Craft Breweries produce between 15,000 and 6,000,000 US Beer Barrels per year. 6m US Beer Barrels is roughly 186m gallons, or roughly 700m liters.

Microbreweries also usually have very limited areas of distribution. As it is now even Top 5 Craft breweries by volume like New Belgium and Deschutes are only available in 32 and 18, respectively, of our 50 States. It's extremely like that American Metalstormers reading this in the Eastern half of the country have never even seen any of my "starting line-up".



 



Posted on 20.08.2012 by BitterCOld has been officially reviewing albums for MetalStorm since 2009.


Comments page 2 / 2

Comments: 34   Visited by: 190 users
04.11.2012 - 11:06
wormdrink414
Found out there's an Albertsos a mile or so away from me that sells Dale's today. Great stuff right there. only had two cans left though, had to supplement with Colt 45's. Most dignified way to ball on a budget.
Loading...
28.11.2012 - 06:10
BitterCOld
Gringo
Written by wormdrink414 on 04.11.2012 at 11:06

Found out there's an Albertsos a mile or so away from me that sells Dale's today. Great stuff right there. only had two cans left though, had to supplement with Colt 45's. Most dignified way to ball on a budget.


so long as you drank the Dale's first. hope you enjoyed as much as i do. i still love Oskar Blues, even after their rep tried to kill us with Ghost Pepper Wings at the Oskar Blues/1702 event that (naturally) coincided with my 40th.

nothing says turning 40 liek oak-aged Ten-Fidy followed by pints of DPA (all free) for daring to eat nuclear-powered wings. worst thing about those damned wings was even the most hopped up beer tasted like a kids' sugared the fuck up cereal for about two hours until your taste buds regenerated.
----
get the fuck off my lawn.
Loading...
28.11.2012 - 07:42
wormdrink414
Funny thing is I was eating the most unbearably hot wings when I got those 2 (was a Ducks gameday, I think) + I was punch-stop-signs drunk that night, didn't actually get or appreciate the full taste. Bought 6 about a week ago, wasn't disappointed. For a pack of 12 oz-ers, those fuckers really do the trick. Can pound them easily, but you're still getting flavor (gotten used to drinking Old German/Pabst lately).

Problem is the price for me, it hovers around the 10 dollar range for a 6er, whereas a 24 of PBR is 14 at Safeway. Gotta go with quantity over quality due to chronic financial headaches.
Loading...
28.11.2012 - 08:43
BitterCOld
Gringo
Written by wormdrink414 on 28.11.2012 at 07:42

Funny thing is I was eating the most unbearably hot wings when I got those 2 (was a Ducks gameday, I think) + I was punch-stop-signs drunk that night, didn't actually get or appreciate the full taste. Bought 6 about a week ago, wasn't disappointed. For a pack of 12 oz-ers, those fuckers really do the trick. Can pound them easily, but you're still getting flavor (gotten used to drinking Old German/Pabst lately).

Problem is the price for me, it hovers around the 10 dollar range for a 6er, whereas a 24 of PBR is 14 at Safeway. Gotta go with quantity over quality due to chronic financial headaches.


as the saying goes, been there, done that. drank a lot of Natty Light in college. best part of growing older is increased finances coupled with reduced tolerance. you can enjoy better beer.
----
get the fuck off my lawn.
Loading...

Hits total: 5278 | This month: 56