Why the world will not end in 2012.


Written by: destroyah
Published: 03.02.2009


Ever since some eggheads figured out when the 13th B'ak'tun of the Mayan Long Count calendar ends, millions (figure unverified) of theories have sprung about what will happen when 2012 dawns. I personally would venture to suggest that the 13th cycle will end and the 14th will begin, but many people feel it might not be as straightforward. Therefore, I gathered and carefully analyzed some of the better known theories about 2012 using a vast array of academic documents (wikipedia, that is).

I will present my fabulous debunk-work as a series of replies to imaginary e-mails. This is partly due to systematic reasons, partly due to me not having a lot of friends.



E-mail #1 - Hi, I live in a basement and make tinfoil hats. I believe that in 2012, all of mankind will become psychically interconnected!


The idea that one day all of mankind will be mentally interconnected is not a new one and many believe that in 2012 humanity will become one at the flick of a switch. Did you picture a massive global orgy? No? Go ahead, do it (well worth it), and continue reading when you're done. Anyways, this belief is unsurprisingly quite popular among the New Age folk. Technically, in 2012 we should all be able to tap into the general mind-reserve of humanity. Mind you, New Age people also bow down to any random crystal skull they come across.





„I know who killed JFK. Also, I can cure cancer and poop rainbows."




But even if you exclude the apparent eccentricities of such movements, other problems emerge. I don't know about you, but I would think twice before taking a peek at what the collective human mind withholds. You see, the whole C-consciousness thing presumes that once mankind becomes one, we will like, live in peace and harmony and shit - a theory that a three year old could shoot holes in. Take a look at the past, say 2000 years, of human history - how many percent have we evolved since then? Zero would be the correct estimate. Of course you would argue and point to everything we've achieved in those two millenniums.

The trouble is, we haven't achieved anything. It has taken a miniscule group of chaps in lab coats (or fancy wizard robes, as I like to imagine) painstaking and time consuming work to get us to where we are. And even so, most of our brilliant achievements in sciences find practical applications in either the military or in the entertainment industry, where they are stamping out smaller and smaller iPod's by their thousands, for your dumb self to drool on. But suppose for a second that within this year that 0% of human development becomes 1%. That would mean our mental capacity is growing at a comfortable and carefree 1 per cent every 2000 years. At this rate it would take us 200,000 years to double our current potential.





Our current potential.




Before you go pasting "Apocalypse 202,012 A.D.!" in your signature, you also might want to ponder over the insignificance of your infinitely small life first.

Another thing you should bare in mind is the astonishing diversity of people we share this planet with. Just imagine sharing your consciousness with hordes of murderers, rapists and child molesters. Yeah, not that great, is it? What if each and every one of them would be able to read your deepest, most intimate desires.





He knows what you want for christmas.




Thus I can only assume that the collective human mind would be a terrible, terrible place.



E-mail #2 - In 2012, the mystical Planet X will enter our solar system and its aliens/dolphin people/flying biscuits return to Earth.


Planet X (or "Nibiru" if you REALLY insist) is a hypothetical planet circling our Sun on a freak orbit, popping in to say "hi!" at about every 3600 years. Which is great, if you don't consider one tiny detail. The reason why our Earth is such a lovely place is the fact that it stays at a constant distance from the sun, while cruising at a comfortable speed of 107,218 kilometers per hour. This guarantees the survival of our species, and the survival of all the other species unlucky enough to share a planet with us. Our Earth is furthest from the sun during the winter. Now, imagine being in Antarctica during that winter period. Sucks, huh? Well, the supposed planet Nibiru goes way, way beyond our Earth, straight into the cold and lifeless void of space. In case it does return and its inhabitants land on our Earth, I don't think we have to worry about it too much:





"Drinks are on the house!"




The ancient astronaut theory is much more interesting and I honestly can't think of a way to neither prove or disprove it at the moment. I also must honestly add that I am the kind of person who actually obsesses about the theory. And yet, suppose the Mayans marked the date of the aliens' return in their long count calendar, one has to consider that Mayan B'ak'tuns have passed before, the latter of them in 1647, which is an utterly forgettable and unimportant year in history. Or wait, no… OH SHIT, it was the year that the puritans in England banned Christmas!!! The Mayans may have gotten something right after all. But alas, not about an alien invasion.

But suppose that aliens are coming back on the date the Mayans marked as "somewhat important" (and nothing else). That would mean the last people the aliens saw before leaving, were the Mayans. The blood-thirsty, war-waging, head-chopping Mayans.

I somehow suspect they went home to fetch their blasters.



E-mail #3 - But hey, that asteroid-hitting-us scenario is perfectly reasonable!


Yes. Yes it is. Indeed, should a sizeable celestial body crash into our beloved home planet, the results would surely put a dent in even the most optimistic person's day. But will an asteroid collide with earth on December 21st, 2012? Reliable sources say "hell yes". However, be that as it may, I'm placing my trust into the hordes of real scientists who pour millions into their grand project of painstakingly marking and cataloging every single piece of marauding space junk larger than a fridge that cruises through this particular solar system. But of course it is entirely reasonable to presume that the ancient Mayans just may have seen a massive flaming armageddon-stone whoosh past Earth and thought "hey, that was kinda close, this thing might just hit us in 5126 years or so." If you're the kind of person to fall for authors that claim they have "undeniable proof" of such words having actually been uttered by an actual Mayan (proof that they are withholding for some reason), then yes, feel free to kiss your life goodbye. I would recommend you to think twice though, before selling all your possessions for a chance to throw one last gigantic party, which would undoubtedly turn out to be a very lonely sausage-fest.



E-mail #4 - The Earth's magnetic poles will shift/move/dance. Dolphins, nuclear submarines crash.


While the actual geophysical processes take vast amounts of time, people have speculated if our planet's magnetic poles might just decide to "fuck it all" in 2012 (when else?) and go nuts. Theoretically that would pose quite a few problems. Firstly, any technologies using magnetism related, uh, stuff, would be rendered useless. I like to think that should the shift happen, nuclear submarines and dolphins start crashing into one another in a hilarious manner.

Secondly, some scientists have suggested that magnetic fields affect human emotions, somehow. I couldn't find any articles about that, but I once saw a TV show about it, so the theory must hold water, right?

However, I am inclined to believe that such a shift would take a bit more than just a couple of hours. There are people who even claim that Earth's physical poles will pack their bags and go traveling around the world, but again, I doubt that would take them less than an aeon, much like mountains don't form overnight.





I stand corrected.




E-mail #5 - The rainbows are getting closer to the ground! The U.S. government is to blame. Also there is probably a connection to 2012 as well. (Attached evidence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c6HsiixFS8)


You are a very, very special lady.



(Totally academic) conclusions



The world will not end in 2012.
The world will not end in 2012.
The world will not end in 2012.
The world will not end in 2012.
The world will not end in 2012.
The world will not end in 2012.
The world will end in 6,230,300,000.

Have fun waiting.



 


Comments page 2 / 2

Comments: 56   Visited by: 209 users
23.02.2009 - 00:01
K†ulu
Seeker of Truth
The rainbow video can't be viewed anymore... re-upload?
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Savor what you feel and what you see
Things that may not seem important now
But may be tomorrow

R.I.P. Chuck Schuldiner

Satan was a Backstreet Boy
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23.02.2009 - 14:08
destroyah
supercharger
Fixed it. The previous vid had a copyright issue as I understand, this one should stay up longer, unless... the CIA was involved!!!!
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About me:

"The best out of all the people ever" - Washington Post

"We abandoned Christ for Destroyah's love!" - The Watchtower

"Simply amazing!" - Rolling Stone
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23.02.2009 - 19:51
K†ulu
Seeker of Truth
Ok... I've just watched the rainbow video (thanks), and... what the heck? That's some kind of stupid joke? What's so unusual about seeing a rainbow from the sprinkler? I used to see rainbow over the fountains all my life... man, it seems that I am taking it too seriously... as usually... haha... post # 777
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Savor what you feel and what you see
Things that may not seem important now
But may be tomorrow

R.I.P. Chuck Schuldiner

Satan was a Backstreet Boy
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06.04.2009 - 00:43
LeChron James
Helvetesfossen
Written by destroyah on 23.02.2009 at 14:08

Fixed it. The previous vid had a copyright issue as I understand, this one should stay up longer, unless... the CIA was involved!!!!

the CIA is involved in everything. don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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Kick Ass, Die Young

Less is More
Stay Pure
Stay Poor

Music was my life, music brought me to life and music is how I will be remembered long after I leave this life. When I die there will be a final waltz in my head that only I can hear.
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03.08.2009 - 06:22
flickaa
I'm mexican and i dont even believe in this theory XD .... the world is not gonna end!!!! ... actually pisses me off.. theres alot mediocre ppl that use this topic as an excuse to not work n in other words enjoy the "couch potato life" .

one word for this... BULLSHIT
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08.10.2009 - 11:47
FOOCK Nam
If this World will be ENDED in 2012, that is very GOOD. Serious, . Well, actually a lot of good guys predict the end of the world but seems non true.

Hope this one works, .
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08.10.2009 - 13:47
tulkas
el parcero
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love is like a jar of shit with a strawberry on top
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19.10.2009 - 00:26
destroyah
supercharger
Written by flickaa on 03.08.2009 at 06:22

theres alot mediocre ppl that use this topic as an excuse to not work n in other words enjoy the "couch potato life" .



Hey, don't be dissing us couch potatoes
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About me:

"The best out of all the people ever" - Washington Post

"We abandoned Christ for Destroyah's love!" - The Watchtower

"Simply amazing!" - Rolling Stone
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19.10.2009 - 02:09
flickaa
XD welll i dont care if you're one.. but when you mentioned it as an excuse not to work thats pathetic might as well be honest like " hey i dont want to work".
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13.11.2009 - 03:05
Doc Godin
Obnoxious
Written by destroyah on 19.10.2009 at 00:26

Written by flickaa on 03.08.2009 at 06:22

theres alot mediocre ppl that use this topic as an excuse to not work n in other words enjoy the "couch potato life" .



Hey, don't be dissing us couch potatoes

Yeah, I don't need some crazy conspiracy theory as an excuse to sit on my ass all day.
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"I got a lot of really good ideas, problem is, most of them suck."
- George Carlin
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15.11.2009 - 04:01
jollygreen
Ha whats up with people and the end of the world shit if its gonna happen by some cosmic force then theres nothing we can do and if we were to do something we might piss off this cosmic force or throw it out of whack. Cosmic forces should be the least of our worries stuff like making artificial black holes on earth and shooting the moon and having enough nuclear bombs to kill the planet several times over should have more hype than some rock people carved.
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16.11.2009 - 02:15
Uirapuru
Liver Failure
Written by tulkas on 08.10.2009 at 13:47




Just excellent

Should put this on Funny Stuff.. I almost miss it!
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member of the true crusade against old school heavy metal, early 80s thrash, NWOBHM, traditional doom, first and second wave black metal, old school death metal, US power metal, 70s prog rock and atmospheric doomsludgestoner. o/
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13.12.2009 - 07:15
Kap'N Korrupt
Account deleted
Yeah I should show that cartoon to my friends...they all think the world will end in 2012...
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13.12.2009 - 07:27
Konrad
Mormon Storm
What is the point of this ridiculous thread?
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Brujerizmo!
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13.12.2009 - 19:21
Lucas
Mr. Noise
Its not a thread, its a blog.
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SLUDGE. DOOM. DEATH. Wait, what?

"The reason I'm running for president is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen." - Barack Obama
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08.02.2010 - 03:36
Iron trooper
In 2012 if humanity is ready a consciousness shift will happen and a possible pole shift will trigger the next stage of hominid evolution. We are starting to become one with nature going green and other such activities. i believe that Anarchism will become a political party when a heavy metal fan decides to become president in the future and drive the world toward a world without a government and every body on earth cooperates and stops killing others and stops being prejudice and all humanity accepts each other as equal and cooperates to create a new leaderless world that upholds the constitution
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08.02.2010 - 15:25
Roro
HAHAHAHAHAA
strange that someone like u doesn't have alot of friends
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04.05.2010 - 07:10
spiritofvengence
I think that 2012 won't be the end of the world, because the people who are proclaiming it is don't believe in any other religions' end-time theories, so what makes the mayan one hold more weight?

But yeah, I agree. The 13th cycle's end will probably herald the beginning of the 14th cycle.

If anything major does happen in world history on 2012, then most likely it will be the end of the United States as an independent, world power. (*gasp* 2012 is re-election year for US Presidency...will we have another four years of Comrade Obama?...begin dramatic music!)
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I'd rather like what I like because I like it, despite if everyone hates me for it, then like what I hate just to be accepted by you.
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04.05.2010 - 13:14
Vitriolic Hate
Chaos Reaper
One of the most epic articles on MS!
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04.05.2010 - 19:47
I_Die_Often
Did the Mayans predict their own extinction?
Think we need a little more proof that they were accurate with their predictions before we panic.
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Old enough to be your Daddy... speaking of which... you look familiar... do I know your mother???
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07.07.2010 - 07:26
Sulac
Thank God!!! Now I don't have to worry about dying a virgin!!!!!!!
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23.07.2010 - 18:49
Panterica
Too bad, I actually wanted to see how the world's gonna look like at its final day. Ow well, that gives the Messiah a few more years to come back to earth and revive the dead and whats not...
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Li'ed - Prog-Metal from Jerusalem
https://www.facebook.com/LiedBandMusic
http://lied-band.bandcamp.com/
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30.07.2010 - 07:29
jwright
This is an awesome article about the world will not end in 2012 which is very interesting and meaningful. But many of them have made a vision that in some way the shape or a form of the Earth will cease to exist.
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28.03.2011 - 21:34
_Andy_
Made my day Still, I believe there are cosmic forces... You can't mess with cosmic forces. The polar shifting, the cataclysms, the global warming and so on. And I'd get into Illuminati shit and the New World Order but that's a whole other thread. One of those shits has to fall upon us till 2012. And it has already started: just look at Japan, Lybia, Egypt... It's just a matter of time until something hits us too. Awesome article, anyway
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Strike from behind and knock me to the ground
Kick me while I'm down!
Stab me in the back, you bastards
Tear my heart out of my chest!
I'll rise from the ashes, from these ruins of mine
A dozen of eyes for an eye - vengeance is mine!
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01.04.2011 - 18:36
ADIresiduos
Too long of an explanation to finish it up ... bottom line is: the world as you know it ends for he who dies.
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04.04.2012 - 14:01
AndMetalForAll
kual21


Congrats for the article!!
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greets,
kual21
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