So, you want to write a Guest Review for Metal Storm?

Written by: Xnoybis
Published: 09.05.2009
So you want to write a guest review for MetalStorm?

As one of the staff responsible to proof reviews before they get published, I thought I'd post up some thoughts that would speed up the process so your piece doesn't spend an eternity in the queue awaiting our attention or bouncing around back and forth in a never ending game of editing ping pong.

For starters, before writing your review, please look over the FAQ. Know and understand the FAQ. Live the FAQ. Be the FAQ. If you submit a review without following these guidelines, well, FAQ you.

Additionally, if you are going to take the time to write something up, take the time to do it right.

Spell check it. Re-read it several times before hitting the submit button to make sure the grammar works. Don't use the same word four times in two sentences - use a Thesaurus. If English is not your native language and you are not particularly good at writing in it, use "KISS" sentences, "Keep It Simple, Stupid." In other words, use basic sentence structures. Make sure the format is good as well. We're not going to dictate a specific 1-3-1 paragraph essay format or anything - write it how you want to express yourself - but for the love of Pete (and the staff proofing your review), avoid the dreaded sentagraph, space your paragraphs out, etc.

Be realistic in your ratings. I realize most people are probably reviewing one of their favorite albums, but not every album is a 9.8. Don't be one of "those guys" that submits half a dozen reviews with every single one of them ranked 9 or higher…

Understand that you are not the only MS member who is submitting reviews. Taking the time to do it the right way will help ensure that it gets published the first time up. It will save both your time and that of the staff who proof your review.

If you submit a trainwreck of a review with twisted grammar and spelling casualties strewn all over the site of the accident, don't be surprised or upset if it gets rejected with a terse explanation to the effect of "l2grammar, noob."

From my perspective, if you make a mistake here or there, I'll fix it up, no problem, but I won't be spending 30 minutes performing GPR (the grammar equivalent of CPR) on your piece.

I recently allowed a piece with severe grammatical issues to be published - and MS posters mauled the thing. It's your name attached to it, take pride in your work, or brace yourself for some criticism.

There are folks on this site who I know do high quality work, and I'll flat out admit it than when I look at the queue and see something they've submitted, I'll review it immediately - even if it means leapfrogging 30 other reviews that were submitted days (or even weeks) earlier. Why? I know that proofing their review will be easy and take two minutes of my time before it gets approved and published. I really don't care if it's "fair" - it's their reward for the quality of their work.

Conversely, there are others whose works I avoid like a SARS infected lion with a frikking laser beam on it's brow run amok through my suburban neighborhood. Why? I know that opening the review to proof it will be about as pleasurable as having my innards removed by a disease-ridden, energy beam toting wild animal.

So take your time, do it right, or expect the reject... or perhaps a 400 pound carnivorous feline with high tech weaponry and highly infectious and communicable diseases knocking on your front door.

***added a couple months after initial publishing***

If you are a first time review writer, do NOT waste your time and ours submitting four or five reviews. Write one. Submit one. If it passes muster, great, continue on. If you have massive issues, it's saved you from having to completely overhaul multiple reviews (and us from having to proof and reject them) - once you get the format and are comfortable with the process, then write all you want.

*** another edit! ***

if an album in question already has multiple reviews, do not bother writing a review unless you have particularly new and amazing insight the others are lacking or your review takes a position that is contrary to the others. if three people have already scored an album a 9+, we don't need a fourth. (we didn't even need a third, to be honest)... but if you can state a good case as to why it's only a 7, we might be interested.


 



Written on 09.05.2009 by
Xnoybis
BitterCOld has been officially reviewing albums for MetalStorm since 2009.
More articles by Xnoybis ››




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Ozman - 09.05.2009 at 21:54  
Hahahaha I love the picture you used.
K†ulu - 09.05.2009 at 23:25  
Holy crap! The picture is the win. I read the contents earlier...
tulkas - 10.05.2009 at 03:49  
Pic does rule. that's a win, as well as the "If you submit a review without following these guidelines, well, FAQ you" line
now, i know reviews require good grammar and everything, or otherwise they're not posted (duh, that's what this thrad is about), but it'd still be interesting to read a review written by K7 in his own language
Deadmeat - 10.05.2009 at 13:29  
Most of the staff/reviewers hare on MS on their beginning started flowing half a dozen of reviews together or with many reviews with high ratings or with a combination of those. it's logical as they wanted to review for their fav bands, albums etc.

as for the grammar mistakes, you are absolutely right man we all should and must pay the highest attention so that the reviews get quickly profreaded. then we all are happy. you for not loosing your time and also the reviewers for not waiting a long time...
jupitreas - 10.05.2009 at 13:43  
If you have MS Office make sure you have the grammar check on in that.
If using open office, download and install Language Tool.

Not all grammar suggestions these tools make are correct; however, they will always let you catch those pesky small things such as it's/its.
Doc Godin - 11.05.2009 at 00:36  
Anyone know of any good free word programs out there? My microsoft office has decided to not let me use it anymore....apparently I was on a trial version.
jupitreas - 11.05.2009 at 00:42  
Written by Doc Godin on 11.05.2009 at 00:36

Anyone know of any good free word programs out there? My microsoft office has decided to not let me use it anymore....apparently I was on a trial version.


http://openoffice.org and dont forget to also download Language Tool that was mentioned earlier.
Doc Godin - 11.05.2009 at 01:22  
Written by jupitreas on 11.05.2009 at 00:42

Written by Doc Godin on 11.05.2009 at 00:36

Anyone know of any good free word programs out there? My microsoft office has decided to not let me use it anymore....apparently I was on a trial version.


http://openoffice.org and dont forget to also download Language Tool that was mentioned earlier.

Thanks a lot! Now I can start writing some more reviews...
tulkas - 11.05.2009 at 16:08  
The google chrome corrector also comes in handy. it's not a language academy, but at least works for those kind of mistakes jupitreas mentioned
Baz Anderson - 11.05.2009 at 22:27  
How does this Google Chrome spell checker work? Some times it checks my spelling like in these Metal Storm text boxes... but on other sites it doesn't... strange.
Xnoybis - 11.05.2009 at 23:12  
I use firefox and when looking in a text box, i get that nice red line under spelling errors.
Dane Train - 12.05.2009 at 02:31  
Written by Xnoybis on 11.05.2009 at 23:12

I use firefox and when looking in a text box, i get that nice red line under spelling errors.


AH! Lucky! I get the red line too, but if I don't correct it within 10 seconds a spectral hand leaps from my monitor and pimpslaps me.
Xnoybis - 12.05.2009 at 02:42  
Written by Dane Train on 12.05.2009 at 02:31

Written by Xnoybis on 11.05.2009 at 23:12

I use firefox and when looking in a text box, i get that nice red line under spelling errors.


AH! Lucky! I get the red line too, but if I don't correct it within 10 seconds a spectral hand leaps from my monitor and pimpslaps me.


that is the force of my will. i have decided to step up a proactive approach to ensuring higher quality reviews in the queue by pre-emptively assaulting posters with the power of my mind.

ThunderAxe1989 - 16.05.2009 at 01:59  
Grammer Nazi
Doc Godin - 16.05.2009 at 07:29  
Written by ThunderAxe1989 on 16.05.2009 at 01:59

Grammer Nazi

Lol. You spelt "grammar" wrong, you are now banned from submitting reviews.
ThunderAxe1989 - 16.05.2009 at 23:38  
Written by Doc Godin on 16.05.2009 at 07:29

Written by ThunderAxe1989 on 16.05.2009 at 01:59

Grammer Nazi

Lol. You spelt "grammar" wrong, you are now banned from submitting reviews.

holy shit! lmao I didn't even notice that! man that's the very worst word to spell wrong too
LeChron James - 31.05.2009 at 11:08  
Heil Spellcheck!
Visioneerie - 03.06.2009 at 20:55  
How about the rule concerning the 3 month wait before a member is allowed to post in a review of a new album. Especially that Herz left, the site is void of death metal reviews. Maybe staff can consider changing that and also the fact that us members aren't permitted to write in a review of invisible bands, i don't see what the problem would be of changing that as well.
Vitriolic Hate - 30.06.2009 at 03:47  
Lol at pic!!
Xnoybis - 07.07.2009 at 21:01  
Added -

If you are a first time review writer, do NOT waste your time and ours submitting four or five reviews. Write one. Submit one. If it passes muster, great, continue on. If you have massive issues, it's saved you from having to completely overhaul multiple reviews (and us from having to proof and reject them) - once you get the format and are comfortable with the process, then write all you want.
Dane Train - 08.07.2009 at 06:42  
Written by Xnoybis on 07.07.2009 at 21:01

Added -

If you are a first time review writer, do NOT waste your time and ours submitting four or five reviews. Write one. Submit one. If it passes muster, great, continue on. If you have massive issues, it's saved you from having to completely overhaul multiple reviews (and us from having to proof and reject them) - once you get the format and are comfortable with the process, then write all you want.


Was that a reference to me submitting two things yesterday?
Xnoybis - 08.07.2009 at 07:09  
Written by Dane Train on 08.07.2009 at 06:42

Written by Xnoybis on 07.07.2009 at 21:01

Added -

If you are a first time review writer, do NOT waste your time and ours submitting four or five reviews. Write one. Submit one. If it passes muster, great, continue on. If you have massive issues, it's saved you from having to completely overhaul multiple reviews (and us from having to proof and reject them) - once you get the format and are comfortable with the process, then write all you want.


Was that a reference to me submitting two things yesterday?


are you a first time reviewer?

it's not folks like you or others who have submitted multiple reviews that we have published. it is for new authors who feel the need to fire off five or six at once without ever having been through the process. had someone submit 4 song-by-song reviews this past weekend... waste of his time as per the FAQ (which said individual claims to have been familiar with) we do not accept song-by-songs.

i've dealt with several other cases where i had to reject them all. part of what spawned this original blog on my part.
Agguran - 19.07.2009 at 00:21  
I recentyl sent a review for Metallica's S&M (my first one), and to be fair it was quite vague. I'll try to come up with something better
Njord - 27.07.2009 at 14:24  
Written by Xnoybis on 09.05.2009 at 21:21

...Conversely, there are others whose works I avoid like a SARS infected lion with a frikking laser beam on it's brow run amok through my suburban neighborhood. Why? I know that opening the review to proof it will be about as pleasurable as having my innards removed by a disease-ridden, energy beam toting wild animal.




When I do my reviews I write first in my native language and then I translate. This could be a good option for who's stucked with an idea but can't write it in english by lack of lexic.
Warman - 09.10.2009 at 14:27  
What about writing single reviews? Are we allowed to do that? If so, what are the rules?
Xnoybis - 09.10.2009 at 22:44  
Written by Warman on 09.10.2009 at 14:27

What about writing single reviews? Are we allowed to do that? If so, what are the rules?


what exactly do you mean? reviewing a single/ep?
Warman - 09.10.2009 at 22:46  
Written by Xnoybis on 09.10.2009 at 22:44

Written by Warman on 09.10.2009 at 14:27

What about writing single reviews? Are we allowed to do that? If so, what are the rules?


what exactly do you mean? reviewing a single/ep?

Yeah exactly, do we have the same rules for singles?
Xnoybis - 09.10.2009 at 23:30  
Good question. i shall consult staff as to whether or not we do singles reviews. same basic premise regarding grammar and spelling does certainly apply.
Hermann Langke - 17.10.2009 at 12:20  
Written by Xnoybis on 09.05.2009 at 21:21

So you want to write a guest review for MetalStorm?

As one of the staff responsible to proof reviews before they get published, I thought I'd post up some thoughts that would speed up the process so your piece doesn't spend an eternity in the queue awaiting our attention or bouncing around back and forth in a never ending game of editing ping pong.

For starters, before writing your review, please look over the FAQ. Know and understand the FAQ. Live the FAQ. Be the FAQ. If you submit a review without following these guidelines, well, FAQ you.

Additionally, if you are going to take the time to write something up, take the time to do it right.

Spell check it. Re-read it several times before hitting the submit button to make sure the grammar works. Don't use the same word four times in two sentences - use a Thesaurus. If English is not your native language and you are not particularly good at writing in it, use "KISS" sentences, "Keep It Simple, Stupid." In other words, use basic sentence structures. Make sure the format is good as well. We're not going to dictate a specific 1-3-1 paragraph essay format or anything - write it how you want to express yourself - but for the love of Pete (and the staff proofing your review), avoid the dreaded sentagraph, space your paragraphs out, etc.

Be realistic in your ratings. I realize most people are probably reviewing one of their favorite albums, but not every album is a 9.8. Don't be one of "those guys" that submits half a dozen reviews with every single one of them ranked 9 or higher…

Understand that you are not the only MS member who is submitting reviews. Taking the time to do it the right way will help ensure that it gets published the first time up. It will save both your time and that of the staff who proof your review.

If you submit a trainwreck of a review with twisted grammar and spelling casualties strewn all over the site of the accident, don't be surprised or upset if it gets rejected with a terse explanation to the effect of "l2grammar, noob."



From my perspective, if you make a mistake here or there, I'll fix it up, no problem, but I won't be spending 30 minutes performing GPR (the grammar equivalent of CPR) on your piece.

I recently allowed a piece with severe grammatical issues to be published - and MS posters mauled the thing. It's your name attached to it, take pride in your work, or brace yourself for some criticism.

There are folks on this site who I know do high quality work, and I'll flat out admit it than when I look at the queue and see something they've submitted, I'll review it immediately - even if it means leapfrogging 30 other reviews that were submitted days (or even weeks) earlier. Why? I know that proofing their review will be easy and take two minutes of my time before it gets approved and published. I really don't care if it's "fair" - it's their reward for the quality of their work.

Conversely, there are others whose works I avoid like a SARS infected lion with a frikking laser beam on it's brow run amok through my suburban neighborhood. Why? I know that opening the review to proof it will be about as pleasurable as having my innards removed by a disease-ridden, energy beam toting wild animal.

So take your time, do it right, or expect the reject... or perhaps a 400 pound carnivorous feline with high tech weaponry and highly infectious and communicable diseases knocking on your front door.

***added a couple months after initial publishing***

If you are a first time review writer, do NOT waste your time and ours submitting four or five reviews. Write one. Submit one. If it passes muster, great, continue on. If you have massive issues, it's saved you from having to completely overhaul multiple reviews (and us from having to proof and reject them) - once you get the format and are comfortable with the process, then write all you want.

How do i write review for a book.
Ozman - 18.10.2009 at 03:03  
Written by Xnoybis on 09.10.2009 at 23:30

Good question. i shall consult staff as to whether or not we do singles reviews. same basic premise regarding grammar and spelling does certainly apply.


Yes, we do single review (I still ahve a ccouple pending ) bu tlike you said the same rules apply/
Slayer666 - 24.10.2009 at 12:45  
If you submit a review without following these guidelines, well, FAQ you.

What genious wordplay! I read that one yestrday, and still can't stop laughing when I see it.
Warman - 24.10.2009 at 16:39  
Written by Ozman on 18.10.2009 at 03:03

Written by Xnoybis on 09.10.2009 at 23:30

Good question. i shall consult staff as to whether or not we do singles reviews. same basic premise regarding grammar and spelling does certainly apply.


Yes, we do single review (I still ahve a ccouple pending ) bu tlike you said the same rules apply/

Okay, so the same amount of words and such?
Doc Godin - 25.10.2009 at 02:58  
Written by Warman on 24.10.2009 at 16:39

Written by Ozman on 18.10.2009 at 03:03

Written by Xnoybis on 09.10.2009 at 23:30

Good question. i shall consult staff as to whether or not we do singles reviews. same basic premise regarding grammar and spelling does certainly apply.


Yes, we do single review (I still ahve a ccouple pending ) bu tlike you said the same rules apply/

Okay, so the same amount of words and such?

Yes, book reviews use pretty much the exact same format as album reviews. The only difference being it doesn't link to a band and you have to supply the picture.
Warman - 25.10.2009 at 03:18  
Haha okay, thanks Doc! Although I never asked about book reviews.
Doc Godin - 25.10.2009 at 03:57  
Written by Warman on 25.10.2009 at 03:18

Haha okay, thanks Doc! Although I never asked about book reviews.

Ah fuck me! I was keeping track of 2 conversations at once and got mixed up...Ignore my last post.
THE_BLACK_GOD - 25.12.2009 at 01:41  
Nice thread, and nice advices over there at BitterCOld's words. the most nice thing in his words is about number of reviews about each album. we dont need a lot of reviews for one album as its common in Metal-Archives. 20 reviews for Master of Puppets (maybe more).
Xnoybis - 11.02.2010 at 06:43  
Just bumping this up again... proofed all nine reviews in the queue tonight and rejected every last one of them. didn't even bother to read them, honestly.

9 of 9 failed to follow proper format, as laid out in 4.3 of the FAQ.

2 of 9 were guest reviews submitted for fresh releases (less than a month old)- guest reviews are not accepted for any album within 90 days of release, as also found in 4.2 of the FAQ.

as above in my initial article:

For starters, before writing your review, please look over the FAQ. Know and understand the FAQ. Live the FAQ. Be the FAQ. If you submit a review without following these guidelines, well, FAQ you.
Mr. Doctor - 17.02.2010 at 18:46  
Written by Xnoybis on 11.02.2010 at 06:43

2 of 9 were guest reviews submitted for fresh releases (less than a month old


I'm curious... what happen with the other 7?
Xnoybis - 17.02.2010 at 18:51  
Written by Mr. Doctor on 17.02.2010 at 18:46

Written by Xnoybis on 11.02.2010 at 06:43

2 of 9 were guest reviews submitted for fresh releases (less than a month old


I'm curious... what happen with the other 7?


all 9 failed for lack of proper tagging. in addition to that 2 of the 9 were also rejected for the failing to meet the 90-day new release buffer.
Mr. Doctor - 21.02.2010 at 20:28  
I learned a lot from this article, The bad thing is that because of this article I feel a bit insecure when I try to write something
Xnoybis - 22.02.2010 at 18:50  
Written by Mr. Doctor on 21.02.2010 at 20:28

I learned a lot from this article, The bad thing is that because of this article I feel a bit insecure when I try to write something


you needn't be. you have a good command of the language and your (somewhat limited) voting patterns don't seem terribly unrealistic. if you want to do a review, get to it. just make sure you spellcheck it and tag it up before submission.
Mr. Doctor - 22.02.2010 at 19:29  
Written by Xnoybis on 22.02.2010 at 18:50

you needn't be. you have a good command of the language and your (somewhat limited) voting patterns don't seem terribly unrealistic.


Hehehe yeah, I guess my ratings don't have too much variety. I think that the main reason is that I always listen to some songs from the album before buying it. I don't use to take too many risks in my life.

Thanks for checking out my review, hopefully yesterday's post didn't sound like "hey! I just wrote something, can you check it?"

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