Blog: Your Own Festival That Blows Hellfest Out Of The Water
| Written by: | Thryce |
| Published: | 18.06.2010 |
Right this very instant Hellfest Open Air is taking place.
If you don't know what Hellfest is, congratulations, you are either enjoying your first day on Metal Storm territory, or you are the proud owner of a hot tub time machine (in either case, welcome).
For months we have bombarded you with Hellfest news and announcements, preview articles, give-away contests and more news and announcements. But now that the time has finally come, well, we're not there. And if you're reading this, it obviously means you didn't make it as well. Yeey us for not being there!
The look that says: "100% not attending... and biting the bullet."
The Staff Towers are pretty much abandoned now. Nobody is working at their desks. Marcel's drunken ramblings don't echo from our chill-out room annex bar. Our supersized fridge is completely empty as the bastards took all the food and beer with them "for the road" - fuck! - and the Canadian elites aren't awake yet so I can't order them to fetch me some new booze.
All sober and no Hellfest makes Thryce a cranky boy.
Can you imagine? Around this time, half of the board is there, enjoying the shit out of the festival with its many great bands, watching a good show in the summer sun, having a blast with the many other Metal Stormers, drinking overpriced dishwater (or whatever the heck the French serve as beer)... And we have nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Well, I'm not taking it any longer! I'm here to make a statement... I'm here to start an anti-Hellfest revolution...
Well, that and I'm freaking bored.
So let's have a little fun on our own, shall we. To hell with Hellfest and everyone attending Hellfest, let's organize one kickass festival that is way better and more awesome than silly Hellfest. One that will put Hellfest with their pants down. If everyone makes a list, we'll get there.
Here are the rules of our little game:
- You can only participate if you didn't go to Hellfest Open Air 2010.
- You can only pick five bands, and line them up according to the following set-up:
opening act - warm-up - direct support - headliner - after-party.
- You have one wildcard to summon a deactivated band to do a one-time reunion gig.
- You have one wildcard to summon one musician from the death.
In short: just come up with the best line-up since the dawn of fucking time, and select your five all-time/current favorite bands that'll play just for you and your enormous wallet.
I'll go first.
[Insert kickass band] in the middle of their set on [insert awesome name] Fest.
OPENING ACT - WARNING The festival takes off with an exclusive one-time reunion show of Warning, the epic doom metal outfit that broke up somewhere last year. Those hauntingly beautiful soul-crushing songs will be a guaranteed hit, sending chills down many spines.
WARM-UP - HEAVEN SHALL BURN These days there are only a handful of worthwhile metalcore bands that truly deserve your attention, Heaven Shall Burn being one of them. With their death metal instigated metalcore this band will stir up the crowd like a human blender. The perfect warm-up of any festival.
DIRECT SUPPORT ACT - MORBID ANGEL Brilliant live band. No further introduction needed. If you don't see why I lined-up Morbid Angel, stay the fuck off my festival lawn.
HEADLINER - EXODUS (1985-1993 era) Let me tell you a well-kept secret. The best thrash band at the end of the nineties wasn't Metallica, it wasn't even Megadeth (puh-lease!), it was fucking Exodus. For the occasion, the band will be hosting an old school thrash night and only play material coming off their five first records. Why? Because it's my goddamn festival, and I feel like it, that's why.
AFTER PARTY - THE ANGELIC PROCESS After this evening of relentless violence it's time to take a breather and close the festival in an ethereal and mesmerizing atmosphere. Since the late K. Angylus rejoined the land of the living for a few hours, The Angelic Process can end the festival in mysteriously stunning style.
Your turn.
Comments page 2 / 4
| Ag Fox Angel No More elite Posts: 4774  |
Damn... five bands only >: Opening: Shade Empire Only playing material from the first two albums. This is some Symphonic / Industrial Black Metal aka synth fest >:D Warm-Up: Heaven Shall Burn Blazing death infused metalcore. Preferably songs from the latest album Invictus and Deaf To Our Prayers Direct Support: Nightwish I like Nightwish with Anette please. The most mainstream thing here Headliner: Arcturus Need Garm & Vortex here Afterparty: Yearning Summons Juhani from his grave for some amazing Atmospheric Doom >:
---- loves 小巫
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| Derwood Posts: 511  |
All right - call this my second night - Metal Evolution Opening - Led Zeppelin From their first four albums Warm Up - Black Sabbath Ozzy era Direct Support - Judas Priest Sad Wings through Defenders Headliner - Iron Maiden The Number of the Beast through Seventh Son After Party - Death They all get the same amount of stage time. A head banging tour of the development of metal from its inception into the 90's. I need one more band so I can work Slayer in there as well...
---- You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!
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| seafood Posts: 104  |
CRAZY-DEATH-JAZZ-PROG-FEST Opening act: WAYD - local avant/jazz-death band, perfect opener for an event like this Warm up: UNEXPECT - music getting weirder Direct support: ATHEIST - continuation of madness Headliner: HAGGARD - maybe not as strange, but hell, it's death metal with symphonic orchestra, what more do you want ?! Afterparty: CYNIC - no need for explanation
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| albatros Posts: 261  |
Albatros's Rumblefest 2010 Opening act : Sabaton - 45 minutes to wake everybody up. Warm-up : Deadlock - 50 minutes straight to the bones Direct support : Vicious Crusade - 70 minutes Rock'n Roll with the lost generation from Belorus Headliner : Cryptic Wintermoon - 90 minutes neck shattering in a blackish, thrashing symphony. After Party : Pain - it goes On And On And On ...
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| Black_Handed A village idiot Posts: 386  |
Written by seafood on 20.06.2010 at 14:40 wow what a great choice. shame that theyre hardly known outside slovakia and czech rep. general: shouldnt we give this a little more meaning? like summing it up, and choosing the best lineup? its your article Thryce. what was your original idea with this? apart of the obvious random elitist wankery (woo check my own picks, kvlt isnt it!  ).
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| Mongoose2557 Account deleted |
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| darktemplar007 Posts: 4  |
Opening: Amon Amarth Warm-Up: Novembers Doom Support: Acid Bath (brought back together with their bassist from the grave) Headliner: Agalloch Afterparty: Ensiferum (Iron era)
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| Dangerboner Lactation Cnslt Posts: 7262  |
Opening: Carcass - I'm just in a Carcass mood I guess, plus they ruled that one time I saw them Warm-Up: Dying Fetus - Seen them like four or five times and they always bring it Support: Darkthrone - They never play live, so I think it would be sweet to see them Headliner: Bathory - Preferrably only playing stuff from the first 4 albums Afterparty: Rainbow - I guess this would end up being a headliner lol These lists change for me every time I do them I'm surprised there aren't more Dio posts, and yes, I know I broke the rule by having too many dead people 
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| Koen Smits Posts: 1331  |
Written by Don Martin on 19.06.2010 at 22:58 Off course, first Behemoth, Bloodbath and last gig for me this year, Amon Amarth.
---- RIP: Frank Vandenbroucke (6 nov 1974 - 12 oct 2009) Written by Bad English on 05.04.2014 at 15:05 but spoil thius film is like spoil porn and say porn ends whit cum shot ...
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| Ellrohir Heaven Knight Posts: 8662  |
Opening Act: Equilibrium Warm-up: Moonsorrow Direct Support Act: Sabaton Headliner: Blind Guardian After Party: Arkona
---- My rest seems now calm and deep Finally I got my dead man sleep 
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| Yavanna Posts: 616  |
Written by Valentin B on 19.06.2010 at 14:07 Fiddler on the green? It worth the whole festival (for me)...  I would only change Diamond Head for Moonspell 
---- Carry me to the shoreline Bury me in the sand Walk me across the water And maybe you'll understand
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| Ilham Giant robot Posts: 5161  |
Haha. I know I'm not adding anything interesting to the discussion, but I just wanted to say, I've been to Hellfest 2010  .
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| Heinosity Account deleted |
Heinosity
Account deleted Written by Ilham on 21.06.2010 at 17:34 You lucky bastard! Ok, here we go: Opening Act: Skeletonwitch (my homies!) Warm-up: Behemoth Direct Support Act: Dimmu Borgir Headliner: Original Mercyful Fate Reunion (playing stuff from Mercyful Fate, Melissa, and Don't Break the Oath) After Party: Witchery Yeah, I know Mercyful Fate is not nearly as brutal as the other bands, but IMHO any self respecting, trueblood black metallers (especially those age 35 and over), have alot of love for them...
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| albatros Posts: 261 |
Written by Ellrohir on 21.06.2010 at 12:21 oh, excellent. If you only please could reverse the running order I'll attend gladly.
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| arwestromen Posts: 645  |
This sounds like a fun idea Awesome Festival 2010 Opening Act: Lost Horizon... Daniel Heiman and the other guys reunites for one more gig Warm-Up: Misfits reunion... both Danzig and Graves era Direct Support Act: Metallica... Because they aren't as good as the headliners Headliner: Iron Maiden... If metal bands where mountains, then this band would be Mount Everest After Party: Volbeat... Great party music
---- Don't fuck with sweden We gave you IKEA
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| Diabolos Space For Rent! Posts: 1522  |
Ok, 5 bands are not much, so I decided to make a special "best of Austria festival" Opening Act: Die Verbannten Kinder Evas Warm-Up: Dornenreich Direct Support Act: Estatic Fear Headliner: Summoning After Party: Hollenthon Best festival ever
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| Mikyz Posts: 711  |
Opening Act Warning - Watching From a Distance Warm-up Alcest - Souvenirs d'un Autre Monde Direct Support Act Taake - Hordalands Doedskvad Headliner Dissection - Storm of the Light's Bane After Party Rapture - Songs for the Withering Well that's about it
---- Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.
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| Black_Handed A village idiot Posts: 386 |
Written by Diabolos on 22.06.2010 at 08:41 best of austria and no tristwood? pfft. (silly trolling/flame-warish post, ignore P)
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| TimmyPix Posts: 139  |
OPENING ACT - Malefice (my favourite UK band - check them out if you like Pantera, Lamb of God, or anything with a groove) WARM-UP - Kamelot SUPPORT - Arch Enemy HEADLINE - Iron Maiden AFTER PARTY - Devin Townsend (playing both SYL and solo stuff) This way we get a nice alternating heavy/singalong evening, culminating with Devin doing both 
---- And remember kids, don't play with matches - flamethrowers are much more fun!
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| Metal For Life Posts: 10  |
Opening act:Testament Warm-up:Ensiferum Direct Support:Lamb Of God Headliner:Metallica After Party:Pantera
---- Brother will kill brother, Spilling blood across the land, Killing for religion, Something I don't understand
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| Darkside Momo Retired elite Posts: 9087  |
Quote: Guess what? That's pretty much what they did And I still haven't seen Metallica yet, but as far as pure aggression is concerned, they blow Slayer out of the water.
---- My Author's Blog (in French)  "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you" "I've lost too many years now I'm stealing back my soul I am awake"
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| amarchand Posts: 54  |
Opening act: Moonsorrow Warm up: Ensiferum Direct Support: Windir Headliner: Wintersun Afterparty: Tyr
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| Pigsidro Posts: 7  |
I have a different idea, maybe it is a little bit oldfashioned but it is just for having fun with the headbangers crew. Opening act: Haggard Warm up: Carpatian Forest Direct Support: Opeth Headliner: Manowar Afterparty: Ratt (At this time I should be very drunk uuh yeah!!)
---- The Mechanical Baptism
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| Diabolos Space For Rent! Posts: 1522 |
Written by Black_Handed on 22.06.2010 at 13:48 Tristwood are indeed pretty cool, but imo not even close to the 5 bands I mentioned 
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| Black_Handed A village idiot Posts: 386 |
Written by Diabolos on 23.06.2010 at 16:48 i disagree but whatever. btw it seems that you are from the same city as tristwood. must be pretty easy to catch them live eh? maybe you could prod them about their new album they keep promising.
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| Diabolos Space For Rent! Posts: 1522 |
Written by Black_Handed on 23.06.2010 at 17:10 They are really from Innsbruck? Wow, didn't know that . But I never saw them live and imo I also never missed them here
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| Black_Handed A village idiot Posts: 386 |
Well thats at least what their myspace says, and so does their page on MA.
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| max5892 Posts: 6  |
Opening act: Delain Warm-up: Within Temptation Direct Support: Epica Headliner: Nightwish After Party: Lacuna Coil
---- Delain International - Delain fansite/fan community supporting Delain since June 2009
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| Carrion Misery Posts: 424  |
Ok, if it's a 5 band line up that is supposed to blow away Hellfest, it needs to be an all-star line up that would bring heads. It's cool to book an unknown band to open and everything, but it simply wouldn't pack the place as well as a full line up of unstoppable bands were on the bill would. Here's mine: Opening Act: Hypocrisy If someone will stomp your face in right off the bat, it will be Hypocrisy. With crushing riffs and memorable choruses, Hypocrisy will pretty much seal the festival with awesomeness. Its kind of odd thinking of Hypocrisy as an opener, but for a line up like this, it won't even matter. Warm-Up: Nevermore What do I say? I never bang my head as hard for any band as I do when I see Nevermore. If any band can keep the juice flowing, Nevermore would deliver. They have a flawless catalog of albums and they can lay down an assault of tracks that will leave you wanting more. Direct Support: Behemoth Sure they're on just about every festival, but I fuckin love their songs, their presence and their live show. Their music inspires and speaks to me in so many ways. A necessary band to make a festival that much more bad ass. Headliner: Emperor Might be cliche ,but Emperor is an ultimate headliner imho. I can see how it'd play out. Nostalgia would kick in, I'd sing along, bang my head and would remember it forever - exactly what a headliner's job is. This would be my perfect line up and I could die happy. After-Party: Akercocke Nothing like dark, lustful blackened death metal full of hate such as Akercocke to top the festival off. Honestly, I don't go to many Festivals, let alone any with after parties. So I'm not quite sure what they consist of, but I can imagine whatever it is, Akercocke would be very successful at it. I know this isn't part of this blog, but here's the full line up I'd like to see at any festival (in no particular order) (sorry, had to do it!): Emperor Immortal Judas Priest Tool Nevermore Behemoth Hypocrisy Akercocke My Dying Bride Swallow the Sun Virgin Black Agalloch Dream Theater Darkwater Eis Wintersun Marduk Gorgoroth Carach Angren Anorexia Nervosa Keep of Kalessin Nile Moonsorrow Kamelot Katatonia Novembre Daylight Dies Obscura Cynic Kalisia Augury Devin Townsend Evergrey Morbid Angel and of course Apothys for good measure (yeah yeah)
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| Cyroth Posts: 274  |
Opening act: Motorhead - good ol' rock'n'roll Warm-up : In Flames (with just three songs from the new In Flames:Alias,Take this life and Reroute to remain) Direct Support : Arch Enemy - need I say more... Headliners : Eternal Tears of Sorrow - coldness made in Finland After-party : Children of Bodom - and the finish melodies continue
---- 
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