Blog: Your Own Festival That Blows Hellfest Out Of The Water


Written by: Thryce
Published: 18.06.2010


Right this very instant Hellfest Open Air is taking place.


If you don't know what Hellfest is, congratulations, you are either enjoying your first day on Metal Storm territory, or you are the proud owner of a hot tub time machine (in either case, welcome).


For months we have bombarded you with Hellfest news and announcements, preview articles, give-away contests and more news and announcements. But now that the time has finally come, well, we're not there. And if you're reading this, it obviously means you didn't make it as well. Yeey us for not being there!



The look that says: "100% not attending... and biting the bullet."



The Staff Towers are pretty much abandoned now. Nobody is working at their desks. Marcel's drunken ramblings don't echo from our chill-out room annex bar. Our supersized fridge is completely empty as the bastards took all the food and beer with them "for the road" - fuck! - and the Canadian elites aren't awake yet so I can't order them to fetch me some new booze.

All sober and no Hellfest makes Thryce a cranky boy.


Can you imagine? Around this time, half of the board is there, enjoying the shit out of the festival with its many great bands, watching a good show in the summer sun, having a blast with the many other Metal Stormers, drinking overpriced dishwater (or whatever the heck the French serve as beer)... And we have nothing. Absolutely nothing.


Well, I'm not taking it any longer! I'm here to make a statement... I'm here to start an anti-Hellfest revolution...

Well, that and I'm freaking bored.


So let's have a little fun on our own, shall we. To hell with Hellfest and everyone attending Hellfest, let's organize one kickass festival that is way better and more awesome than silly Hellfest. One that will put Hellfest with their pants down. If everyone makes a list, we'll get there.


Here are the rules of our little game:

  • You can only participate if you didn't go to Hellfest Open Air 2010.
  • You can only pick five bands, and line them up according to the following set-up:

    opening act - warm-up - direct support - headliner - after-party.

  • You have one wildcard to summon a deactivated band to do a one-time reunion gig.
  • You have one wildcard to summon one musician from the death.


In short: just come up with the best line-up since the dawn of fucking time, and select your five all-time/current favorite bands that'll play just for you and your enormous wallet.

I'll go first.



[Insert kickass band] in the middle of their set on [insert awesome name] Fest.



OPENING ACT - WARNING The festival takes off with an exclusive one-time reunion show of Warning, the epic doom metal outfit that broke up somewhere last year. Those hauntingly beautiful soul-crushing songs will be a guaranteed hit, sending chills down many spines.

WARM-UP - HEAVEN SHALL BURN These days there are only a handful of worthwhile metalcore bands that truly deserve your attention, Heaven Shall Burn being one of them. With their death metal instigated metalcore this band will stir up the crowd like a human blender. The perfect warm-up of any festival.

DIRECT SUPPORT ACT - MORBID ANGEL Brilliant live band. No further introduction needed. If you don't see why I lined-up Morbid Angel, stay the fuck off my festival lawn.

HEADLINER - EXODUS (1985-1993 era) Let me tell you a well-kept secret. The best thrash band at the end of the nineties wasn't Metallica, it wasn't even Megadeth (puh-lease!), it was fucking Exodus. For the occasion, the band will be hosting an old school thrash night and only play material coming off their five first records. Why? Because it's my goddamn festival, and I feel like it, that's why.

AFTER PARTY - THE ANGELIC PROCESS After this evening of relentless violence it's time to take a breather and close the festival in an ethereal and mesmerizing atmosphere. Since the late K. Angylus rejoined the land of the living for a few hours, The Angelic Process can end the festival in mysteriously stunning style.


Your turn.



 


Comments page 2 / 4

Comments: 104   Visited by: 423 users
20.06.2010 - 02:59
Ag Fox
Angel No More
Damn... five bands only >:

Opening: Shade Empire
Only playing material from the first two albums. This is some Symphonic / Industrial Black Metal aka synth fest >:D

Warm-Up: Heaven Shall Burn
Blazing death infused metalcore. Preferably songs from the latest album Invictus and Deaf To Our Prayers

Direct Support: Nightwish
I like Nightwish with Anette please. The most mainstream thing here

Headliner: Arcturus
Need Garm & Vortex here

Afterparty: Yearning
Summons Juhani from his grave for some amazing Atmospheric Doom >:
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loves 小巫
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20.06.2010 - 06:24
Derwood
All right - call this my second night - Metal Evolution

Opening - Led Zeppelin
From their first four albums

Warm Up - Black Sabbath
Ozzy era

Direct Support - Judas Priest
Sad Wings through Defenders

Headliner - Iron Maiden
The Number of the Beast through Seventh Son

After Party - Death

They all get the same amount of stage time. A head banging tour of the development of metal from its inception into the 90's. I need one more band so I can work Slayer in there as well...
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You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!
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20.06.2010 - 14:40
seafood
CRAZY-DEATH-JAZZ-PROG-FEST

Opening act: WAYD - local avant/jazz-death band, perfect opener for an event like this

Warm up: UNEXPECT - music getting weirder

Direct support: ATHEIST - continuation of madness

Headliner: HAGGARD - maybe not as strange, but hell, it's death metal with symphonic orchestra, what more do you want ?!

Afterparty: CYNIC - no need for explanation
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20.06.2010 - 22:29
albatros
Albatros's Rumblefest 2010

Opening act :

Sabaton - 45 minutes to wake everybody up.

Warm-up :

Deadlock - 50 minutes straight to the bones

Direct support :

Vicious Crusade - 70 minutes Rock'n Roll with the lost generation from Belorus

Headliner :

Cryptic Wintermoon - 90 minutes neck shattering in a blackish, thrashing symphony.

After Party :

Pain - it goes On And On And On ...
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20.06.2010 - 23:18
Black_Handed
A village idiot
Written by seafood on 20.06.2010 at 14:40

Opening act: WAYD - local avant/jazz-death band, perfect opener for an event like this


wow what a great choice. shame that theyre hardly known outside slovakia and czech rep.

general: shouldnt we give this a little more meaning? like summing it up, and choosing the best lineup? its your article Thryce. what was your original idea with this? apart of the obvious random elitist wankery (woo check my own picks, kvlt isnt it! ).
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Cryptic Bleak Smurf of Ur
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21.06.2010 - 06:05
Mongoose2557
Account deleted
Opening Act: Falkenbach

Warm-up: Tyr

Direct Support Act: Insomnium

Headliner: Amon Amarth

After Party: Swallow the Sun
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21.06.2010 - 06:17
darktemplar007
Opening: Amon Amarth

Warm-Up: Novembers Doom

Support: Acid Bath (brought back together with their bassist from the grave)

Headliner: Agalloch

Afterparty: Ensiferum (Iron era)
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21.06.2010 - 09:00
Dangerboner
:D
BONERFEST


Opening: Carcass - I'm just in a Carcass mood I guess, plus they ruled that one time I saw them

Warm-Up: Dying Fetus - Seen them like four or five times and they always bring it

Support: Darkthrone - They never play live, so I think it would be sweet to see them

Headliner: Bathory - Preferrably only playing stuff from the first 4 albums

Afterparty: Rainbow - I guess this would end up being a headliner lol

These lists change for me every time I do them

I'm surprised there aren't more Dio posts, and yes, I know I broke the rule by having too many dead people
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21.06.2010 - 11:46
Koen Smits
Written by Don Martin on 19.06.2010 at 22:58


Can't wait to see Carcass at GMM, I also expect many good things from Bloodbath. Gonna see them, Dizzeke?


Off course, first Behemoth, Bloodbath and last gig for me this year, Amon Amarth.
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RIP: Frank Vandenbroucke (6 nov 1974 - 12 oct 2009)

Written by Bad English on 05.04.2014 at 15:05

but spoil thius film is like spoil porn and say porn ends whit cum shot ...
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21.06.2010 - 12:21
Ellrohir
Heaven Knight
Opening Act: Equilibrium
Warm-up: Moonsorrow
Direct Support Act: Sabaton
Headliner: Blind Guardian
After Party: Arkona
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So behold the flight of the sapphire dragon
soaring through the skies once again


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21.06.2010 - 15:58
Yavanna
Written by Valentin B on 19.06.2010 at 14:07

It was hard to cramp only 5 bands but here goes, Vali's Hellfestpwnzorfest:

opening act: Saxon with Dawson and Oliver reunion show, playing only stuff from the first 6 albums

warm-up: Blind Guardian

support: Iced Earth- at the end of the set, Jon gets out his acoustic guitar and without saying anything starts playing the Demons and Wizards tune Fiddler On The Green, with Hansi Kursch on vocals

main act: Judas Priest

afterparty: Diamond Head



Fiddler on the green? It worth the whole festival (for me)...
I would only change Diamond Head for Moonspell
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Carry me to the shoreline
Bury me in the sand
Walk me across the water
And maybe you'll understand
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21.06.2010 - 17:34
Ilham
Giant robot
Haha. I know I'm not adding anything interesting to the discussion, but I just wanted to say, I've been to Hellfest 2010 .
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21.06.2010 - 23:12
Heinosity
Account deleted
Written by Ilham on 21.06.2010 at 17:34

Haha. I know I'm not adding anything interesting to the discussion, but I just wanted to say, I've been to Hellfest 2010 .


You lucky bastard!

Ok, here we go:

Opening Act: Skeletonwitch (my homies!)
Warm-up: Behemoth
Direct Support Act: Dimmu Borgir
Headliner: Original Mercyful Fate Reunion (playing stuff from Mercyful Fate, Melissa, and Don't Break the Oath)
After Party: Witchery

Yeah, I know Mercyful Fate is not nearly as brutal as the other bands, but IMHO any self respecting, trueblood black metallers (especially those age 35 and over), have alot of love for them...
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21.06.2010 - 23:28
albatros
Written by Ellrohir on 21.06.2010 at 12:21

Opening Act: Equilibrium
Warm-up: Moonsorrow
Direct Support Act: Sabaton
Headliner: Blind Guardian
After Party: Arkona


oh, excellent. If you only please could reverse the running order I'll attend gladly.
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22.06.2010 - 03:10
arwestromen
This sounds like a fun idea

Awesome Festival 2010

Opening Act: Lost Horizon... Daniel Heiman and the other guys reunites for one more gig

Warm-Up: Misfits reunion... both Danzig and Graves era

Direct Support Act: Metallica... Because they aren't as good as the headliners

Headliner: Iron Maiden... If metal bands where mountains, then this band would be Mount Everest

After Party: Volbeat... Great party music
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Don't fuck with sweden
We gave you IKEA
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22.06.2010 - 08:41
Diabolos
Space For Rent!
Ok, 5 bands are not much, so I decided to make a special "best of Austria festival"

Opening Act: Die Verbannten Kinder Evas
Warm-Up: Dornenreich
Direct Support Act: Estatic Fear
Headliner: Summoning
After Party: Hollenthon

Best festival ever
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22.06.2010 - 13:08
Mikyz
Opening Act
Warning - Watching From a Distance

Warm-up
Alcest - Souvenirs d'un Autre Monde

Direct Support Act
Taake - Hordalands Doedskvad

Headliner
Dissection - Storm of the Light's Bane

After Party
Rapture - Songs for the Withering

Well that's about it
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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.
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22.06.2010 - 13:48
Black_Handed
A village idiot
Written by Diabolos on 22.06.2010 at 08:41

Ok, 5 bands are not much, so I decided to make a special "best of Austria festival"

Opening Act: Die Verbannten Kinder Evas
Warm-Up: Dornenreich
Direct Support Act: Estatic Fear
Headliner: Summoning
After Party: Hollenthon

Best festival ever


best of austria and no tristwood? pfft. (silly trolling/flame-warish post, ignore P)
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Cryptic Bleak Smurf of Ur
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22.06.2010 - 23:16
Kurty Wurty
Amatsu Mikaboshi
OPENING ACT - Carcass

WARM-UP - Behemoth

DIRECT SUPPORT ACT - Nile

HEADLINER - Sepultura (Maybe the Cavalera lineup reunited for a good, surprising measure)

AFTER PARTY - Neurosis

The headliner proved difficult. I didn't want to be all around having the same group of genres and ages but neither too vague or varied completely... There were ideas of also including Nevermore, Morbid Angel, Immortal and Moonnsorrow aswell.
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22.06.2010 - 23:21
Kurty Wurty
Amatsu Mikaboshi
Written by Kurty Wurty on 22.06.2010 at 23:16

OPENING ACT - Carcass

WARM-UP - Behemoth

DIRECT SUPPORT ACT - Nile

HEADLINER - Sepultura (Maybe the Cavalera lineup reunited for a good, surprising measure)

AFTER PARTY - Neurosis

The headliner proved difficult. I didn't want to be all around having the same group of genres and ages but neither too vague or varied completely... There were ideas of also including Nevermore, Morbid Angel, Immortal and Moonnsorrow aswell.


OH! And should Sepultura play all of Arise, and most of Beneath the Remains and Schizophrenia with maybe Derrick jumping into it at times and outclassing Max for epicly hailarious measure...
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22.06.2010 - 23:32
TimmyPix
OPENING ACT - Malefice (my favourite UK band - check them out if you like Pantera, Lamb of God, or anything with a groove)
WARM-UP - Kamelot
SUPPORT - Arch Enemy
HEADLINE - Iron Maiden
AFTER PARTY - Devin Townsend (playing both SYL and solo stuff)

This way we get a nice alternating heavy/singalong evening, culminating with Devin doing both
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And remember kids, don't play with matches - flamethrowers are much more fun!
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23.06.2010 - 00:30
Metal For Life
Opening act:Testament
Warm-up:Ensiferum
Direct Support:Lamb Of God
Headliner:Metallica
After Party:Pantera
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Brother will kill brother, Spilling blood across the land, Killing for religion, Something I don't understand
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23.06.2010 - 01:24
Darkside Momo
Retired
Quote:
HEADLINER - EXODUS (1985-1993 era) Let me tell you a well-kept secret. The best thrash band at the end of the nineties wasn't Metallica, it wasn't even Megadeth (puh-lease!), it was fucking Exodus. For the occasion, the band will be hosting an old school thrash night and only play material coming off their five first records. Why? Because it's my goddamn festival, and I feel like it, that's why.

Guess what? That's pretty much what they did
And I still haven't seen Metallica yet, but as far as pure aggression is concerned, they blow Slayer out of the water.
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"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you" - Ray Bradbury

"I've lost too many years now
I'm stealing back my soul
I'm awake now"
Abney Park (Letter Between A Little Boy & Himself As An Adult)
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23.06.2010 - 03:52
amarchand
Opening act: Moonsorrow
Warm up: Ensiferum
Direct Support: Windir
Headliner: Wintersun
Afterparty: Tyr
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23.06.2010 - 08:22
Pigsidro
I have a different idea, maybe it is a little bit oldfashioned but it is just for having fun with the headbangers crew.

Opening act: Haggard
Warm up: Carpatian Forest
Direct Support: Opeth
Headliner: Manowar
Afterparty: Ratt (At this time I should be very drunk uuh yeah!!)
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The Mechanical Baptism
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23.06.2010 - 16:48
Diabolos
Space For Rent!
Written by Black_Handed on 22.06.2010 at 13:48

Written by Diabolos on 22.06.2010 at 08:41

Ok, 5 bands are not much, so I decided to make a special "best of Austria festival"

Opening Act: Die Verbannten Kinder Evas
Warm-Up: Dornenreich
Direct Support Act: Estatic Fear
Headliner: Summoning
After Party: Hollenthon

Best festival ever


best of austria and no tristwood? pfft. (silly trolling/flame-warish post, ignore P)

Tristwood are indeed pretty cool, but imo not even close to the 5 bands I mentioned
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23.06.2010 - 17:10
Black_Handed
A village idiot
Written by Diabolos on 23.06.2010 at 16:48

Written by Black_Handed on 22.06.2010 at 13:48

Written by Diabolos on 22.06.2010 at 08:41

Ok, 5 bands are not much, so I decided to make a special "best of Austria festival"

Opening Act: Die Verbannten Kinder Evas
Warm-Up: Dornenreich
Direct Support Act: Estatic Fear
Headliner: Summoning
After Party: Hollenthon

Best festival ever


best of austria and no tristwood? pfft. (silly trolling/flame-warish post, ignore P)

Tristwood are indeed pretty cool, but imo not even close to the 5 bands I mentioned


i disagree but whatever. btw it seems that you are from the same city as tristwood. must be pretty easy to catch them live eh? maybe you could prod them about their new album they keep promising.
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Cryptic Bleak Smurf of Ur
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23.06.2010 - 19:17
Diabolos
Space For Rent!
Written by Black_Handed on 23.06.2010 at 17:10

Written by Diabolos on 23.06.2010 at 16:48

Written by Black_Handed on 22.06.2010 at 13:48

Written by Diabolos on 22.06.2010 at 08:41

Ok, 5 bands are not much, so I decided to make a special "best of Austria festival"

Opening Act: Die Verbannten Kinder Evas
Warm-Up: Dornenreich
Direct Support Act: Estatic Fear
Headliner: Summoning
After Party: Hollenthon

Best festival ever


best of austria and no tristwood? pfft. (silly trolling/flame-warish post, ignore P)

Tristwood are indeed pretty cool, but imo not even close to the 5 bands I mentioned


i disagree but whatever. btw it seems that you are from the same city as tristwood. must be pretty easy to catch them live eh? maybe you could prod them about their new album they keep promising.

They are really from Innsbruck? Wow, didn't know that . But I never saw them live and imo I also never missed them here
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23.06.2010 - 20:01
Black_Handed
A village idiot
Well thats at least what their myspace says, and so does their page on MA.
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Cryptic Bleak Smurf of Ur
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23.06.2010 - 20:11
max5892
Opening act: Delain
Warm-up: Within Temptation
Direct Support: Epica
Headliner: Nightwish
After Party: Lacuna Coil
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Delain International - Delain fansite/fan community supporting Delain since June 2009
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