Vorkreist - Sigil Whore Christ review



Reviewer:
6.5

5 users:
7.60
Band: Vorkreist
Album: Sigil Whore Christ
Release date: April 2012


01. De Imitatione Christi
02. Maledicte
03. Deus Vult
04. Dominus Illuminatio Mea
05. Memento Mori
06. Ecce Homo
07. Per Aspera Ad Astra
08. Ad Nauseam
09. Scalae Gemoniae


Remember Vorkreist?

If you said yes:

Go ahead and click away. This is more of the same for them.

If you said no:

Go ahead and click away. This is more of the same for death-ened black as a whole.

Sigil Whore Christ is like a t.v. dinner. Puncture the film with a fork, toss it into the microwave, press 3, wait for the beeps, let it cool for a minute, watch t.v. forget about it (letting it get overly cool), remember it fifteen minutes later, take a bite, put it back into the microwave, remove, admonish yourself for letting the "potatoes" get all crusty and full of holes, stir a bit, eat with fork, enjoy the (melodic) sodium, hate yourself for enjoying the melodic sodium, get the stomach gurgles, hate yourself even more profoundly, crawl into bed, hit up the fapdu, fall asleep for 30 minutes, wake up and repeat for more (melodic) sodium.

It's the sort of stuff that feels pre-cooked, will make you feel bad, and yet you'll still find yourself going back to it. Because it's easy and formulaic. And you're lazy.

And, with all that said, I still enjoy/slightly respect this thing. The musicianship is all solid in its own way, Vorkreist have chops, the tunes are all satisfactorily filling, etc, etc. It's cheap and unsettling in some ways, but I'll still listen to it. Catchy melodies are catchy melodies in the end.

It's just generic as hell... and the production sucks. It's like a guilty pleasure or something for me.


 



Written on 05.05.2012 by Wormdrink's real name is George and he's an American.


Comments

Comments: 5   Visited by: 72 users
06.05.2012 - 14:19
!J.O.O.E.!
Defunct

Posts: 19156
From: UK

You can microwave chops?
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06.05.2012 - 17:02
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist

Posts: 18929
From: Canada

Written by !J.O.O.E.! on 06.05.2012 at 14:19
You can microwave chops?

You can microwave anything.
----
Prettier than BloodTears.
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06.05.2012 - 17:05
!J.O.O.E.!
Defunct

Posts: 19156
From: UK

Written by Troy Killjoy on 06.05.2012 at 17:02

You can microwave anything.

Ok, go microwave a metal fork for 4 minutes. You have stand there until it's finished... come tell me the results after it's done.

I will accept pictures of pieces of metal sticking out your face
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07.05.2012 - 18:51
Boxcar Willy
yr a kook

Posts: 7347
From: Canada

Written by !J.O.O.E.! on 06.05.2012 at 17:05

Written by Troy Killjoy on 06.05.2012 at 17:02

You can microwave anything.

Ok, go microwave a metal fork for 4 minutes. You have stand there until it's finished... come tell me the results after it's done.

I will accept pictures of pieces of metal sticking out your face

Girl did that in elementary, nearly killed us all haha
----
forever bummed out
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07.05.2012 - 19:10
!J.O.O.E.!
Defunct

Posts: 19156
From: UK

Written by Boxcar Willy on 07.05.2012 at 18:51

Girl did that in elementary, nearly killed us all haha

You should have put her in a microwave.
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