Rating:
N/A
Rotting Christ - Aealo
15 February 2010


01. Aealo
02. Eon Aenaos
03. Demonon Vrosis
04. Noctis Era
05. Dub-Sag-Ta-Ke
06. Fire Death And Fear
07. Nekron Iahes...
08. ...Pir Threontai
09. Thou Art Lord
10. Santa Muerte
11. Orders From The Dead [Diamanda Galás cover]


Melodic Black metal
Recorded: Lunatach Studios, Greece 2009
Label: Season Of Mist
Total Running Time: 50:04



Only if you've been living under a giant rock - or under the beer belly of Tankard vocalist Andreas Geremia - would you be unaware Rotting Christ released a new album last month. There was a heap of buzz about the successor of the mighty Theogonia and, unsurprisingly, the internet is now flooded with so-called in-depth reviews. In normal circumstances, Metal Storm likes to separate the wheat from the chaff, ie. the specialized analysis from whatever McDonalds worker's opinion. But for once we are giving the floor to the "special" kind of reviews to get the message through.


The rehab review: Dude, remember that time Rotting Christ won a MS Award for Black metal album of 2007? Jeezes, what were you guys smoking back then? Somewhere, Euronymous was freaking out in his grave. Anyway, now the band tried too hard to chase the Theogonia dragon again, seemingly without getting some snacks and sleep first. On several parts they sound a bit tired, benumbed and spaced out. Rotting Christ won't pull it off winning another Award this year, unless of course you guys are totally tripping... again.


The everybody knows he's gay except the guy himself review: Alright, I'm just going to come out and say it. If I ever decide to "accidentally" drop my keys in front of someone, it ought to be Rotting Christ. If only Aealo would have rocked at least half as hard as some of their previous releases, this band could have had their way with me. But the album isn't really a turn-on: it's good, but it's far from a metalheads' wet dream.


Review of the people having the same IQ as a jar of raisins*: Wooooooooooooooow!

* this also applies to the hardcore fanboys who already labeled the album as a masterpiece before the whole thing was recorded.


The movie nerd review: Aealo wants so hard to be ancient-sounding and war-themed, it sometimes seems more like a wannabe 300 movie soundtrack than a Rotting Christ record. And what would Captain Picard do when he hears the mixing/molesting of the vocals? The typical harsh vocals and barks are definitely not what they used to be. By times they even sound annoyingly similar to Gollum-like grunts and shrieks; not so precious.


The guest review that is duller than the actual album: Overall, Aealo is a middle of the warpath release. Though Rotting Christ is more ethnic-sounding than ever, it's still not a right portrait of the band's colossal grandeur. The album could use some fresh coffee... er, scratch that one. Anyway, the album unfortunately bares not enough potential to grow on you, and leaves a rather stale and uninspired impression (pretty much like this text - Ed.). The album certainly has its wide awake moments - especially the ones where the album features some interesting contributions and guest vocalists. Those can be considered the highlight of the... zzz (reviewer fell asleep during his own review).


Alexi Laiho's review: This shit is slightly above moderate shit. And it sure as fuck ain't THE shit some of you maggots claim. I mean, come the fuck on, it's Rotting mothafuckin' Christ, y'know. Somewhere in those twenty-three years it has been done already. Most likely by the band itself, y'know what I'm sayin'.


The school counselor review: You barely passed for your report on the fieldtrip to the ancient glories of Hellas, Sakis Tolis. We know you could do much better. Just try a little harder next time, mmkay.


Well, this was fun. And by fun, I mean of course emotionally scarring. In case you aren't blessed with a firm grasp of the obvious, the main conclusion is Aealo evokes too much mixed feelings. To me personally, this album showed a Rotting Christ that was neither tempting nor convincing. Pretty much like a beautiful hooker with a chastity belt.


Band profile: Rotting Christ
Album: Aealo


 


written by Thryce | 20.03.2010



Comments

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Vitriolic Hate - 21.03.2010 at 00:26  
The school counselor review: You barely passed for your report on the fieldtrip to the ancient glories of Hellas, Sakis Tolis. We know you could do much better. Just try a little harder next time, mmkay.
Mr. Mackey! yeah the album is just average.
White Winter Sun - 21.03.2010 at 00:36  
Haha, this review can be called something really Special and entertaining. Nice job
Got Mayhem? - 21.03.2010 at 04:51  
Ah, that picture of Tankard has just reminded me that I REALLY want one of those Peavey's. Off I go to remember the name of the damn model now...
Ask - 21.03.2010 at 04:51  
Ha, good read. The album was pretty disappointing and I literally struggled through multiple listens.
Ag Fox - 21.03.2010 at 04:54  
You are so entertaining, Thryce
BitterCOld - 21.03.2010 at 05:21  
I lol'd. nice work.
K†ulu - 21.03.2010 at 06:10  
Oh crap! this is nice, especially the guest review paragraph. Thumbs up!
Metal Maiden - 21.03.2010 at 06:34  
LOL...MS should have a new category in the next awards, for best review...And here we have the first winner, hahaha... But honestly, you have to admit Alexi mothafuckin' Laiho is kinda right... My thoughts exactly on the 300 OST too...AND, I feel obliged to mention that half of the album consist of Bulgarian folklore music...which was ALSO used in 300...see the pattern in here??
BloodTears - 21.03.2010 at 09:50  
Actually this made a lot of sense to me because I actually read the reviews people put online and saw almost all those reactions.

And in the end I still feel disappointed and feel the album is seriously lacking potential, or anything. One of the weakest RT albums for me. It's sad one of my favourite bands decided to release an album like this, but more will come in the future. Now let me listen to their other albums please.
DahliaRock - 21.03.2010 at 11:40  
Album review of the decade =)
Don Martin - 21.03.2010 at 12:05  
If I could write reviews like this one, I'd make my own metal magazine (hint, hint, Thryce)
Mr. Doctor - 21.03.2010 at 12:36  
Omg, this review was brilliant.
Demonic Tutor - 21.03.2010 at 21:43  
Unconventional brilliant reviewing style. Good job man, I really enjoyed this review.
VaronoZz - 21.03.2010 at 21:54  
I Hope all the bands could have the journey and strength of Rotting Christ.
How many bands with a so big discography of 12 albums, they have just 1-2 weak moments, in this case, albums? Extremely few, so i will still hail for the name of creators of the Non Serviam Cult!
31/7/10!! HAIL IN CYPRUS!
silenius - 22.03.2010 at 09:29  
Very good review(laughed my as off) very bland album
Koen Smits - 22.03.2010 at 15:46  
Liked the review a lot. As for the album: I don't understand why so many people are so negative about it.
Ok, my first reaction was that it was not so good, then it grew on me and now I like most part of the album.
I don't say that you may not or can't dislike it, but I think the hype before the release killed its chances.
MétalNoir - 23.03.2010 at 02:25  
Funny review, but it says absolutely nothing useful for an eventual listener... But you do know that, since you seem to think you know everything about everyone. Anyway, boring and repetitive album with annoying female chants (and I usually love that kind of chants). The rare good parts are the ones that sound VERY similar to Theogonia. That's my dull guest review.
Mr. Doctor - 23.03.2010 at 17:37  
Written by MétalNoir on 23.03.2010 at 02:25

Funny review, but it says absolutely nothing useful for an eventual listener...


I would say that this review explains more than enough. I guess that almost everyone who post here know how Rotting Christ sound like... This review explains that this album is so meh that everyone could make a review of this stuff because it's full of clichés and every bad thing is easy to point out.


...Another reason might be that this album doesn't need a "normal" review because almost everyone I've seen in this website agree that this album doesn't deserve one.
Deadmeat - 24.03.2010 at 08:53  
Written by Mr. Doctor on 23.03.2010 at 17:37

Written by MétalNoir on 23.03.2010 at 02:25

Funny review, but it says absolutely nothing useful for an eventual listener...

this album doesn't deserve one.

i dont think that this album is what is st anger for metallica, risk for megadeth etc. it may not be as magnificent as theogonia is but you can find some good moments on it.
Trinity Blood - 24.03.2010 at 13:00  
I liked this album as much as i liked theogonia...lyrics are good...also great review
Mr. Doctor - 24.03.2010 at 13:35  
Written by Deadmeat on 24.03.2010 at 08:53

i dont think that this album is what is st anger for metallica, risk for megadeth etc. it may not be as magnificent as theogonia is but you can find some good moments on it.


Yeah, it's not THAT bad indeed, butit's average and it needed a review fulll of average comments
Abattoir - 24.03.2010 at 15:46  
Excellent and very amusing review
Slayer666 - 24.03.2010 at 19:29  
I sort of agree with Metalomorphis, the whole review is based on saying it's average/bad, very little of it describes the actual music. Still pretty funny, though.
About the album.... well, Rotting Christ had to slip sooner or later... It's immposible to constantly make albums like Theogonia.The thing is, the album isn't bad, but when you compare it to the previous release it sounds like crap. If it were a debut of some other band, I belive it would have been recieved better.
Richard - 25.03.2010 at 03:28  
An offbeat but enjoyable review..! What I've heard from the album so far seems promising to me though. When I went into the local shop it was priced at 20 quid, which is ridiculously expensive (presumably it was some kind of special edition).
Nekrocvlt - 31.03.2010 at 07:18  
One of the best reviews I've ever read! This made my night. I personally can't stop listening to it myself
Lakonas - 08.04.2010 at 09:29  
This must be the worst review i 've read for quite some time now.
If you think that having Diamanda Galas in a metal album is easy thing to do, obviously you have no idea.
The cover is amazing. To see her posting the news to her site is a triumph for a black metal band.
Secondly, since you have no idea for what this song is talking about, at least show some respect.
Rotting Christ are pioneers, not followers. Always have been.
AEALO is masterpiece and i am not the only one who thinks this.
RC can do whatever they want. They haven't got to prove anything to anyone. When they played black metal, the scene didn't even exist.
They are completely unpredictable and that's why we love them.

Oh..and nerds are the ones who think that they can insult other people with their 'humor'.
In the end of the day they are the ones that get humiliated.
BudDa - 04.06.2010 at 08:02  
Haha. This one is for keeps. Where do u come up with this stuff??!! Classic!
vezzy - 04.06.2010 at 19:33  
A sense of humor in a review. Nice job.
Elyar S. - 01.09.2010 at 15:31  
Written by Lakonas on 08.04.2010 at 09:29

This must be the worst review i 've read for quite some time now.
If you think that having Diamanda Galas in a metal album is easy thing to do, obviously you have no idea.
The cover is amazing. To see her posting the news to her site is a triumph for a black metal band.
Secondly, since you have no idea for what this song is talking about, at least show some respect.
Rotting Christ are pioneers, not followers. Always have been.
AEALO is masterpiece and i am not the only one who thinks this.
RC can do whatever they want. They haven't got to prove anything to anyone. When they played black metal, the scene didn't even exist.
They are completely unpredictable and that's why we love them.

Oh..and nerds are the ones who think that they can insult other people with their 'humor'.
In the end of the day they are the ones that get humiliated.

Im agree, I really enjoyed this album I loved this album cant find a bad song on it and Im agree that its a Masterpiece and I think it will be a classic album. I have to add that I have no idea about ex works because I havent listened to them.

"Review of the people having the same IQ as a jar of raisins*: Wooooooooooooooow!

* this also applies to the hardcore fanboys who already labeled the album as a masterpiece before the whole thing was recorded."

so it seems that the reviewer has more IQ than me because as I said it was almost first album of Rotting Christ which I listened to! and its a masterpiece yes.
Thryce - 04.09.2010 at 11:23  
Written by Elyar S. on 01.09.2010 at 15:31

so it seems that the reviewer has more IQ than me

Im agree. But I think we kinda knew that already.
mojo - 11.06.2013 at 11:21  
Not my favourite album of theirs (and they are one of my favourite bands and have been since I first heard "Leprosy of Death" all those long years ago...)

I'd skip it and go straight for the one before and the one after. Catch up with this one before "Triarchy of the Lost Lovers" but after everything else.

That's all.

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