Rating:
N/A
Omniavatar - United Earth
December 2010


01. United Earth
02. Utopian Blessing
03. Utopian Curse
04. Voidful of Wonders
05. Mimas
06. Lady of the Blue
07. Tremors
08. Cloned Infiltration
09. Reptilian
10. Escape or Be Eaten
11. Salvation
12. One With the Universe
13. Andromedan Code


This album is available as a free, legal download at http://www.omniavatar.com


Ah... fantasy-themed progressive metal. For years, our favorite genre of music has been somewhat known for extremely ambitious projects that try to be as epic and vivid as Lord Of The Rings itself but end up only as potent as Frodo's tiny hobbit dick. After all, flamboyance is usually a method of obscuring one's tiny manhood. How does the latest representative of this style, United Earth by Omniavatar, fare in this regard?

Omniavatar is truly all over the place musically and reminds me particularly of the approach associated with Devin Townsend and Arjen Lucassen. However, whereas those projects are known for walking the somewhat thin line between being bombastic and simply too over the top, Omniavatar crosses this line a little bit too often. It's all in how obvious everything is, as if the purpose was to draw attention to how talented the musicians are at various instrumental approaches without any real compositional or narrative rationale behind it. Since United Earth is disjointed instrumentally, one would at least hope some properly impressive vocals would steal the show here. Unfortunately, even though the choruses are huge, main vocalist Timo has a voice that posesses about the same amount of beauty as Quorthon's used to.

I think that what is to blame for Omniavatar's overwrought and consequently diluted listening experience is that the project lacks a dedicated producer. This band is obviously creative but without a safety harness, they simply don't know when to stop with their highfallutin ideas. On the other hand, United Earth's unsubtle production does impose the sort of raw sound that at least culls the orgiastic tendencies of the music a little bit. This should nevertheless be the producer's job and if the band could score some sessions with a Devin Townsend for a future release, I am sure the results could be spectacular. In other words, Omniavatar might not be overly tiny but they definitely need some direction to actually get them suitably hard.

This is because even with the occasional cringe-inducing moment, this stuff is still in no way as shameful as any modern European power metal band you can name. In other words, on the scale of being embarrasing, Omniavatar is actually not all that high in the grand scheme of things. I can think of many worse ways of spending my time than listening to some very talented people being slightly full of themselves.


Website: http://www.omniavatar.com/


 



Written on 01.03.2011 by
jupitreas
With Metal Storm since 2002, jupitreas has been subjecting the masses to his reviews for quite a while now. Privately not actually an asshole, he lives in Warsaw, Poland, where he runs his small graphic and web design business.
More reviews by jupitreas ››



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!J.O.O.E.! - 01.03.2011 at 20:51  
Oh my God, that cover art... what a masterpiece...
Lokaeda - 01.03.2011 at 21:29  
Written by !J.O.O.E.! on 01.03.2011 at 20:51

Oh my God, that cover art... what a masterpiece...



good joke here
(((O))) - 01.03.2011 at 22:02  
Man, that cover art..
The Voyager - 02.03.2011 at 02:22  
Seriously, that is some of the worst cover art I've ever seen. I know you're not supposed to judge an album by it's cover, but this makes it really hard.
!J.O.O.E.! - 02.03.2011 at 03:29  
Haha, poor Jerry, all his good work scuppered by some cover art.
Aluminum Alloy - 02.03.2011 at 05:27  
Quote:
Omniavatar might not be overly tiny but they definitely need some direction to actually get them suitably hard.


excellent use of metaphor there
Troy Killjoy - 02.03.2011 at 05:34  
I was too distracted by that majestic piece of art, I didn't notice the album cover!

Ya you see what I did there.
wormdrink414 - 02.03.2011 at 08:51  
Quote:
projects that try to be as epic and vivid as Lord Of The Rings itself but end up only as potent as Frodo's tiny hobbit dick.


I think that qualifies as hobbophobic.
schwanderen - 02.03.2011 at 11:14  
"After all, flamboyance is usually a method of obscuring one's tiny manhood".

What the hell does this mean?
jupitreas - 02.03.2011 at 13:26  
Written by schwanderen on 02.03.2011 at 11:14

"After all, flamboyance is usually a method of obscuring one's tiny manhood".

What the hell does this mean?


What do you think?
bard - 02.03.2011 at 16:00  
This one is very strange, in that I don't exactly dig what's going on but I really don't mind it hearing it. I agree with the band being talented as well as the cringe-inducing moments.
schwanderen - 11.03.2011 at 15:51  
Written by jupitreas on 02.03.2011 at 13:26

Written by schwanderen on 02.03.2011 at 11:14

"After all, flamboyance is usually a method of obscuring one's tiny manhood".

What the hell does this mean?


What do you think?


1/ Well, if im reading this correct then the sentence says that all people that dare being "flamboyant" aren't "real" men. Does that go for Johnny Deep, Steven Tyler and Nygaard from Turisas aswell?

2/ The way i comprehend the sentence is that it's a general statement that everything that isn't uber truuuuoooe black/trash metal is per definition gay. Even though it takes allot more balls to go on stage being flamboyant than roar your way through depressing lyrics about how pissed of you are.

But i might be reading too much into it?
jupitreas - 11.03.2011 at 15:59  
Written by schwanderen on 11.03.2011 at 15:51

1/ Well, if im reading this correct then the sentence says that all people that dare being "flamboyant" aren't "real" men. Does that go for Johnny Deep, Steven Tyler and Nygaard from Turisas aswell?

Oh God, I hate Johnny Depp

Quote:

2/ The way i comprehend the sentence is that it's a general statement that everything that isn't uber truuuuoooe black/trash metal is per definition gay. Even though it takes allot more balls to go on stage being flamboyant than roar your way through depressing lyrics about how pissed of you are.

I never mentioned homosexuality. Gotcha!

Quote:

But i might be reading too much into it?

Hey, its just supposed to be a funny metaphor to make the review fun to read. Take a chill pill dude.
schwanderen - 18.03.2011 at 16:38  
Written by jupitreas on 11.03.2011 at 15:59

Written by schwanderen on 11.03.2011 at 15:51

1/ Well, if im reading this correct then the sentence says that all people that dare being "flamboyant" aren't "real" men. Does that go for Johnny Deep, Steven Tyler and Nygaard from Turisas aswell?

Oh God, I hate Johnny Depp

Quote:

2/ The way i comprehend the sentence is that it's a general statement that everything that isn't uber truuuuoooe black/trash metal is per definition gay. Even though it takes allot more balls to go on stage being flamboyant than roar your way through depressing lyrics about how pissed of you are.

I never mentioned homosexuality. Gotcha!

Quote:

But i might be reading too much into it?

Hey, its just supposed to be a funny metaphor to make the review fun to read. Take a chill pill dude.


1/ The question wasn't whether or not you liked Johnny Deep.

2/ No you didn't mention homosexuality.

3/ Well as an editor and reviewer i believe you have a responsibility to represent Metal Storm in a proper way. Sure it's ok to make fun and you shouldn't take everything that goes on on the net seriously and people need to grow some fucking skin. And im not putting my head out for the band since i've never heard of them. But when officials make statements like that people tend to lean to them, and it's just generating hate and misunderstandings towards the truly talented "flamboyant" sides of metal.
But i can tell by your reply that you don't care to discuss this proper. After all, people who don't take responsibility for their statements and protecting their integrity with bashing comments of the critic, is juat a away of obscuring one's tiny manhood.
jupitreas - 19.03.2011 at 04:33  
Written by schwanderen on 18.03.2011 at 16:38

3/ Well as an editor and reviewer i believe you have a responsibility to represent Metal Storm in a proper way. Sure it's ok to make fun and you shouldn't take everything that goes on on the net seriously and people need to grow some fucking skin. And im not putting my head out for the band since i've never heard of them. But when officials make statements like that people tend to lean to them, and it's just generating hate and misunderstandings towards the truly talented "flamboyant" sides of metal.
But i can tell by your reply that you don't care to discuss this proper. After all, people who don't take responsibility for their statements and protecting their integrity with bashing comments of the critic, is juat a away of obscuring one's tiny manhood.


Indeed, I do have a responsibility to represent Metal Storm; however, the proper way to do this is debatable. I trust that my readers are capable of forming their own opinions instead of being swayed by my attempts at humor. In the end, a humorous (and harmless) review like this is actually better for Omniavatar than if I tried being all "objective" and "professional". In the end, a review is just an opinion (albeit, a well researched and well argumented one) and it is my responsibility to make it an interesting, funny and memorable read. There is no such thing as an 'official' opinion, we are all just as entitled as anyone else to love or hate an album. I am just here to state my opinion and hopefully start a discussion.

PS: My penis is so tiny you wouldn't even believe it, even Howard Stern is massive compared to me!!!
schwanderen - 19.03.2011 at 11:29  
Written by jupitreas on 19.03.2011 at 04:33

Written by schwanderen on 18.03.2011 at 16:38

3/ Well as an editor and reviewer i believe you have a responsibility to represent Metal Storm in a proper way. Sure it's ok to make fun and you shouldn't take everything that goes on on the net seriously and people need to grow some fucking skin. And im not putting my head out for the band since i've never heard of them. But when officials make statements like that people tend to lean to them, and it's just generating hate and misunderstandings towards the truly talented "flamboyant" sides of metal.
But i can tell by your reply that you don't care to discuss this proper. After all, people who don't take responsibility for their statements and protecting their integrity with bashing comments of the critic, is juat a away of obscuring one's tiny manhood.


Indeed, I do have a responsibility to represent Metal Storm; however, the proper way to do this is debatable. I trust that my readers are capable of forming their own opinions instead of being swayed by my attempts at humor. In the end, a humorous (and harmless) review like this is actually better for Omniavatar than if I tried being all "objective" and "professional". In the end, a review is just an opinion (albeit, a well researched and well argumented one) and it is my responsibility to make it an interesting, funny and memorable read. There is no such thing as an 'official' opinion, we are all just as entitled as anyone else to love or hate an album. I am just here to state my opinion and hopefully start a discussion.

PS: My penis is so tiny you wouldn't even believe it, even Howard Stern is massive compared to me!!!


Excellent, see you around.

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