Rating:
4.5
Krypteria - All Beauty Must Die
22 April 2011


01. Messiah
02. As I Slowly Bleed
03. Fly Away With Me
04. You Killed Me
05. Live To Fight Another Day
06. Eyes Of A Stranger
07. Thanks For Nothing
08. Turn The World Around
09. Higher
10. Victoria
11. (How Can Something So Good) Hurt So Bad
12. The Eye Collector
13. Get The Hell Out Of My Way [2011 version] [digipak - download bonus]
14. Liberatio [2011 version] [digipak - download bonus]
15. Come Hell Or High Water [digipak - download bonus]


I remember the good old times when the term "gothic metal" actually meant just that: metal mixed with the negative, pessimistic and broody atmosphere of gothic rock. Well, I don't actually remember it, per se, as the term was already heavily tarnished by the time I got into metal, but goddamnit why do people stick that label to almost every female-fronted band nowadays? I guess Krypteria are slightly more deserving of the title than some semi-symphonic bands with female lead singers that get dubbed "gothic", but All Beauty Must Die is still very much that poppy type of pseudo-gothic metal, although a fine example of it.

If you've heard at least 3 poppy metal bands (a la newer Tristania, Sirenia and similar "-ia"s), this album with provide you with absolutely nothing new. The main focus is on catchy, chunky riffs that lead into poppy choruses with sweet, innocent-sounding female vocals. Some symphonic elements are used here and there, mostly to enhance the catchy factor of choruses and the same could be said about frequently used choirs. As much as this type of metal is unpleasant to my ears, I won't deny that Krypteria sure know how to pull off some good symphonic-vocal arrangements. Other than the "The Eye Collector", the album runs a verse-chorus-verse structure throughout its entire length, occasionally slapping on a solo which sounds awkwardly out of place. Tracks 1-10 all follow the exact same song writing pattern, but are distinguishing enough not to feel like a same track repeated ten times. Just barely, though.

Of course, this feel good version of "gothic" metal can't be done without extremely cheesy ballads, now can it? Quite fortunately for my mental health, there is only one such ballad "(How Can Something So Good) Hurt So Bad" (good lord, I hope we're not thinking of the same thing...) and as predicted, it overflows with cheese. Cry-me-a-river for my poor, broken lonely heart lyrics hardly help. And oh boy, we come to my favorite part of the album: "The Eye Collector". This 11 minute long yawn fest is an attempt by a very shallow band to create a seriously DERP deep, dark and epic poem that fails more miserably than a 14-year-old writing a pathetic song for his crush and reading it in front of the entire class. Yeah, it might have been from the heart, but that doesn't stop all the other kids from laughing at his stupid ass. In this case, Krypteria is the kid, and the listeners are the class.

Once again, I'd love to slap the piss out of anyone who calls this "gothic metal", because this is what Avril Lavigne would sound with minor symphonies and more distorted guitars. For fans of similar music, I imagine this is a completely satisfying, if not excellent album. But if bands like Tristania or Sirenia give you menstrual cramps, like they do to me, avoid like hell.

Performance: 7
Songwriting: 6
Originality: 3
Production: 8


Band profile: Krypteria
Album: All Beauty Must Die


 


written by Slayer666 | 26.10.2011


Guest review disclaimer:
This is a guest review, which means it does not necessarily represent the point of view of the MS Staff.



Comments

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Milena - 13.11.2011 at 19:51  
A nice review, but as atrocious as this kind of albums is, only Lulu is a proper equivalent of pain caused by menstrual cramps.
Or, for me, Dream Theater's Dramatic Turd.
Troy Killjoy - 13.11.2011 at 22:01  
Already heard the ia bands and never liked any of them, so not going to bother with this.
Slayer666 - 14.11.2011 at 15:31  
Yeah, don't. I severely regret the time I wasted listening to it twice.
The lead singer isn't that hot, so Krypteria don't even have some nice eye-candy to make you forget about the music.
dismaleuphony - 15.11.2011 at 05:24  
Quite a terrible review, though I don't find the album the greatest out there either, as too many of the melodies are too fast in some songs as well as their previous album just being better, honestly. The references to Tristania are misleading here, and do people honestly still believe the marketing slop that record companies/other reviewers use in calling so much female-fronted metal "gothic metal"? Ten years ago it was considered out of place, now it's just ridiculous. I don't even pay attention to the terms as they are so misused it seems like no one knows what they are talking about anymore.
Slayer666 - 15.11.2011 at 15:38  
Written by dismaleuphony on 15.11.2011 at 05:24

and do people honestly still believe the marketing slop that record companies/other reviewers use in calling so much female-fronted metal "gothic metal"?


Yup. You'd be surprised how much people both offline and online I see calling shite like this "gothic". I guess it's because they wear black or something.
Troy Killjoy - 16.11.2011 at 02:22  
Written by Slayer666 on 15.11.2011 at 15:38
Yup. You'd be surprised how much people both offline and online I see calling shite like this "gothic". I guess it's because they wear black or something.

It's mainstream gothic. Gothic is black, leather, Satan worshiping, vampire obsessing, etc. because that's what the media tells us gothic means.
Dark†SymphonY - 16.11.2011 at 18:44  
I found this album pretty boring, their previous album wasn't much better either though. As yes, I also cant stand people calling this 'gothic'.
dismaleuphony - 16.11.2011 at 20:10  
Ok, let me go a bit deeper into what I was implying in my post above. Why waste a large portion of the review discussing why a band is not a type of music, when you clearly do not think so either, and there really is no reason to bring it up? I'm all for scathing reviews, but talking about a genre that the band isn't, and comparing it with bands that Krypteria aren't even based on is just pointless (Tristania I mean here).
Slayer666 - 16.11.2011 at 21:24  
Written by dismaleuphony on 16.11.2011 at 20:10

Ok, let me go a bit deeper into what I was implying in my post above. Why waste a large portion of the review discussing why a band is not a type of music, when you clearly do not think so either, and there really is no reason to bring it up? I'm all for scathing reviews, but talking about a genre that the band isn't, and comparing it with bands that Krypteria aren't even based on is just pointless (Tristania I mean here).


1) I needed to get that out of the way and make it beyond obvious what the album isn't, seeing as how 80% of people and their grandma are going to refer to this as "gothic". I wanted absolutely no such comments. I'm usually not a genre Nazi, but this particular case pisses me off to no end.

2) The portion of the review which discusses this is not that large compared to the rest, and it even helps to describe the music itself (note the last paragraph).

3) While I do agree that Krypteria isn't based on Tristania, implying that they are not similar is beyond ridiculous. Also note that I said newer Tristania, which just solidifies the point further. I wanted to give the readers of the review a closer idea what the album sounds like by comparing a less popular band with a more popular one, both of which have a similar approach.
Mr. Doctor - 17.11.2011 at 16:13  
I have to wonder though... Why did you write this review? I'm honestly curious. There are a lot of cds I find just awful but I just don't feel the need of writting about it, so I just wondered about why you needed it.

Besides "for the lolz" that is.
Slayer666 - 17.11.2011 at 18:52  
Written by Mr. Doctor on 17.11.2011 at 16:13

I have to wonder though... Why did you write this review? I'm honestly curious. There are a lot of cds I find just awful but I just don't feel the need of writting about it, so I just wondered about why you needed it.

Besides "for the lolz" that is.


Meh, no particular reason. I'm catching up on 2011 releases, and whenever I hear an album that I feel I could write about (both in positive and negative context), I just do it. Trying to present both the highlighted and the shitty side of 2011 to teh good peoplez of MS.
Milena - 17.11.2011 at 23:55  
Written by Slayer666 on 17.11.2011 at 18:52

Trying to present both the highlighted and the shitty side of 2011 to teh good peoplez of MS.

Well seeing your review scores, it seems the shitty side inspires you to write a lot more. Nothing bad in that, but sometimes, when the negative inspires you to speak up, it may come out as a rant.
(Been a part of a crew who wrote bloggy takes on our lovely country's wrongs. 70% of those were rants. So I know what I'm talking about)
Slayer666 - 18.11.2011 at 15:05  
Written by Milena on 17.11.2011 at 23:55

Well seeing your review scores, it seems the shitty side inspires you to write a lot more. Nothing bad in that, but sometimes, when the negative inspires you to speak up, it may come out as a rant.
(Been a part of a crew who wrote bloggy takes on our lovely country's wrongs. 70% of those were rants. So I know what I'm talking about)


Well, unfortunately, lots of stuff I'd give good ratings to are either invisible (so I can't review them) or non-existent on MS, or they already have been reviewed.
I'd love to write about the new Arizmenda, Ash Borer, Falls of Rauros, Verwustung, etc. and the reviews about those releases would be highly positive, but tough tits...
Troy Killjoy - 18.11.2011 at 20:40  
Written by Slayer666 on 18.11.2011 at 15:05
I'd love to write about the new Arizmenda, Ash Borer, Falls of Rauros, Verwustung, etc. and the reviews about those releases would be highly positive, but tough tits...

Don't forget you've got connections with the band database chief. If the review squad okays your reviews of invisible bands, I can always add a band that isn't here.
amyandyful - 26.12.2011 at 08:28  
I never thought of this as gothic metal i alway thought of at as symphonic metal which a lot of goths like to listen to, the fact that they are being called a gothic metal band contributes to the whole stupidity of stero typing which i hate with a passion. its like saying goths are satanist its not true, im goth and i also happen to be christina catholic, people say goth dress in ALL black, again not true, i wear black but not a lot, it has to do with your emotions not the way you dress of the music you listen to. Their beats might be low key and dark but if you actually LISTEN to the lyrics you can tell that they are not singing about dark and depressing things. Life would be soo much better off with the whole stero typing shit.
amyandyful - 26.12.2011 at 08:34  
Written by Troy Killjoy on 16.11.2011 at 02:22

Written by Slayer666 on 15.11.2011 at 15:38
Yup. You'd be surprised how much people both offline and online I see calling shite like this "gothic". I guess it's because they wear black or something.

It's mainstream gothic. Gothic is black, leather, Satan worshiping, vampire obsessing, etc. because that's what the media tells us gothic means.

personally i think its stero typing
goths worshipping statan there are but not all of them
emos cutting themselves, true but they dont necesarliy dress with skinny jeans and band tees, i have a friend who dresses like hick that used to cut herself
gangbangers killing people some do not all
cheerleaders being deetze blonds not true
football players being guys with huge bodies but no brains not true
nerds being annoying as hell not all of them
stero typing has branded so many people that it just isnt funny, this things apply to SOME people that are like that but most of the time its doesnt but thats my personal opinion, i dont care if you agree with me i just you to know all sides of the storied:)
Troy Killjoy - 26.12.2011 at 08:36  
Written by amyandyful on 26.12.2011 at 08:34
if you agree with me i just you to know all sides of the storied:)

I'm not sure if you were elaborating on my post or you just misinterpreted me... because we're on the same page.

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