Rating:
2.0
Metallica - Lulu [Collaboration]
31 October 2011


Disc I
01. Brandenburg Gate
02. The View
03. Pumping Blood
04. Mistress Dread
05. Iced Honey
06. Cheat On Me

Disc II
01. Frustration
02. Little Dog
03. Dragon
04. Junior Dad


Some people righteously claim that this is not a real Metallica release and thus it can't be viewed as such. I agree. Metallica decided to co-operate with Lou Reed in his interpretation of Alban Berg's opera based on Frank Wedekind's plays "Erdgeist" and "Die Büchse der Pandora". The history behind that opera is as complicated and dramatic as one can imagine, assuming what a dark story it tells.

But it all bears no significance at all. An ordinary listener will not give a damn about the literary predecessor that became grounds for this album. All an ordinary listener cares about is the music. And this is what is the biggest failure here. A gargantuan failure of biblical proportions. A debacle of misbegotten notions. A hapless heap of humungous refuse. Even the Apocalypse of John doesn't depict an event as catastrophic as this brainfart committed by a bunch of pretentious musicians and their misguided greed for mainstream recognition.

There isn't much to say about the music here. Metallica plods along with some recycled riffs (or lack thereof, see "Junior Dad"), boring drumming and generic singing, all that hidden ten fathoms under Lou Reed's mumbling. The mumbling that is so incredibly annoying, that I feel like shooting myself so that I can never hear it again.

Creating a piece of art isn't a conscious process. You sit down, write music, jam with your fellow bandmates, then record your endeavors, and if the general public, the history and fate decide that your work was brilliant, that it's a paragon of genius for generations to come, it will be so. But you can't calculate it. To me this is what Metallica and Lou Reed did. Tried to do. Failed miserably. Nuked all that remained of any shred of respect any fan could have for them. Genius arises by the way, not by calculation. How the fuck would they know that anyway.

Forgive lack of down-to-earth dissertation of the music. Forgive the dissonant style of this review. Only two things can make me write such a rant. Either utter genius or utter shitfest at the bottom of the cesspool of miscarried intentions. It shouldn't be hard to figure out which was the case this time.

Performance: 3
Songwriting: 2
Originality: 5
Production: 5


Band profile: Metallica
Album: Lulu [Collaboration]


 


written by Daniell | 04.11.2011

Guest review by
AndMetalForAll

Rating:
4.3
Lulu brings back Metallica in a collaboration album with Lou Reed. A German visionary named Frank Wedekind wrote a collection of plays about a woman called Lulu who was both a muse and a mystery, the first form of woman. Most of the songs have death, sexuality, love and spite themes. Although it's not a Metallica album, the expectation was off the charts but the result is terrible.

Read more ››
published 14.11.2011 | Comments (18)

Guest review by
ScreamingSteelUS

Rating:
7.4
The worst thing you can possibly do is treat this like a Metallica album. It is not. Lulu is a Lou Reed album that just so happens to feature the guys from Metallica as his backing band. Of course, Metallica still had to go and put their name on it, which recklessly raised people's expectations, and the heavy criticism weighed at this album is largely true no matter how you spin it. Nonetheless, while this was a disappointment, it is not totally devoid of merit, and more of an interesting experiment than a Son-of-St. Anger-sized failure.

Read more ››
published 17.08.2013 | Comments (10)



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Angelic Storm - 24.11.2011 at 08:22  
Written by Troy Killjoy on 24.11.2011 at 08:13
I don't think it's justifiable, no. But I don't care enough to let what someone who lives anywhere from 100 to 10,000 miles away effect me on a personal level. Troll my reviews, flame my personal taste, call me an idiot for not giving something like Master of Puppets a 10 - I don't care. Besides, sometimes people come up with genuinely funny things to say about me.


I guess that's my point really... Anyone who doesn't think it's justifiable for their own personal opinions to be bashed, shouldn't bash anyone else personally for holding a different opinion. Yet from what I've seen, most people are very hypocritical where that is concerned. You may not care, but you still think it's unjustified, which is the important thing.

Well, posts that are mindless bashing can sometimes be (although always unintentionally) funny, which is the only good thing about them.
Troy Killjoy - 24.11.2011 at 08:27  
Written by Angelic Storm on 24.11.2011 at 08:22
I guess that's my point really... Anyone who doesn't think it's justifiable for their own personal opinions to be bashed, shouldn't bash anyone else personally for holding a different opinion. Yet from what I've seen, most people are very hypocritical where that is concerned. You may not care, but you still think it's unjustified, which is the important thing.

I'll still stand up for someone else who's taking flak from another user for their personal taste, especially when they cross the "your musical taste sucks" line into "you suck as a person" territory. There's really no need for that, and some people do take it seriously, even if it is just a comment in a forum.

My hatred for Lulu shouldn't give anyone the right to say "Troy you're a fag" or whatever witty insults they can conjure up, but it should incite people who disagree to say "here's why I like the album" and we can talk about it. People are so quick to start an argument about something completely subjective instead of discussing what makes this entire life worthwhile: our differences. And on a site like this where people come together based on a mutual appreciation for a specific style of music, there are still opinions that reach both ends of the spectrum on a multitude of topics.

Speaking of topics, we should be bashing Lulu instead of discussing user habits.
Angelic Storm - 24.11.2011 at 13:09  
Written by Troy Killjoy on 24.11.2011 at 08:27
I'll still stand up for someone else who's taking flak from another user for their personal taste, especially when they cross the "your musical taste sucks" line into "you suck as a person" territory. There's really no need for that, and some people do take it seriously, even if it is just a comment in a forum.

My hatred for Lulu shouldn't give anyone the right to say "Troy you're a fag" or whatever witty insults they can conjure up, but it should incite people who disagree to say "here's why I like the album" and we can talk about it. People are so quick to start an argument about something completely subjective instead of discussing what makes this entire life worthwhile: our differences. And on a site like this where people come together based on a mutual appreciation for a specific style of music, there are still opinions that reach both ends of the spectrum on a multitude of topics.

Speaking of topics, we should be bashing Lulu instead of discussing user habits.


Yep, there is of course, no need for that. And even if people are "wrong" to take such online insults seriously, it still doesn't excuse them from being made in the first place. Rude and nasty comments shouldn't be acceptable, even on an online forum.

As for the second part of your post, I can only agree.

About bashing "Lulu", I don't need to keep repeating myself.
NLthrasher - 26.11.2011 at 07:41  
This album sucks...:cool:
Kap'N Korrupt - 06.01.2012 at 14:48  
Don't give up on Metallica, people...they are recording a new album as we speak throughout this year and will probably get it out late 2012 or early 2013...if they put out a piece of crap by that time, THEN you can finally give up on Metallica...
Monolithic - 25.02.2012 at 09:57  
I enjoy the album but calling other people "A bunch of 13 year old a-holes" doesn't make it any better.

PS: A lot of people have given up long before Metallica even thought of collaborating with Lou Reed.

I still give him credit for his solo career. The man's work is great! let alone TVU...:D
Monolithic - 26.02.2012 at 09:25  
Written by Beckari on 25.02.2012 at 12:30

Opeth amaze with melody/chords, Meshuggah amaze with rhythm.... as for Metallica, they've disappeared into a vortex which has caused them to become delusional and play with alongside a man with more money than talent.

"Facepalm"

Opeth and Meshuggah and Metallica? it was bad enough to compare Opeth's melody/chords and Meshuggah's rhythm but Metallica??? Dude...I think you may need to rephrase that.
Beckari - 26.02.2012 at 14:07  
Written by Monolithic on 26.02.2012 at 09:25

Written by Beckari on 25.02.2012 at 12:30

Opeth amaze with melody/chords, Meshuggah amaze with rhythm.... as for Metallica, they've disappeared into a vortex which has caused them to become delusional and play with alongside a man with more money than talent.

"Facepalm"

Opeth and Meshuggah and Metallica? it was bad enough to compare Opeth's melody/chords and Meshuggah's rhythm but Metallica??? Dude...I think you may need to rephrase that.


Lol, yes I can see how that might need rephrasing, such a rant fail. I was listening to all three that day and when ranting I got a bit carried away!~

I liked the album only for the humorous side, but after the mind-numbing lifelessness I felt after listening to just a few songs, I really came to dislike the album.
I have tried to appreciate Lou Reed in the past, but there's just something about him that irritates me slightly.. He has more money then sense nowadays.
Better now that there are no silly comparisons?
Monolithic - 27.02.2012 at 08:45  
Written by Beckari on 26.02.2012 at 14:07

Lol, yes I can see how that might need rephrasing, such a rant fail. I was listening to all three that day and when ranting I got a bit carried away!~

I liked the album only for the humorous side, but after the mind-numbing lifelessness I felt after listening to just a few songs, I really came to dislike the album.
I have tried to appreciate Lou Reed in the past, but there's just something about him that irritates me slightly.. He has more money then sense nowadays.
Better now that there are no silly comparisons?

oh Becca...sorry for calling you a "Dude"
Didn't check out your profile before starting to go mad about your comparison...

I think those 3 lines sums it up, though I have a different opinion on the album I completely understand why you don't like it
Beckari - 27.02.2012 at 13:23  
Written by Monolithic on 27.02.2012 at 08:45

Written by Beckari on 26.02.2012 at 14:07

Lol, yes I can see how that might need rephrasing, such a rant fail. I was listening to all three that day and when ranting I got a bit carried away!~

I liked the album only for the humorous side, but after the mind-numbing lifelessness I felt after listening to just a few songs, I really came to dislike the album.
I have tried to appreciate Lou Reed in the past, but there's just something about him that irritates me slightly.. He has more money then sense nowadays.
Better now that there are no silly comparisons?

oh Becca...sorry for calling you a "Dude"
Didn't check out your profile before starting to go mad about your comparison...

I think those 3 lines sums it up, though I have a different opinion on the album I completely understand why you don't like it


Haha not a problem, at least next time you'll know to call me Dudette
I'm glad you did go mad about my comparison actually, it's nice to have some feedback! You like this album then? I'm quite curious to know why
Monolithic - 28.02.2012 at 09:39  
Written by Beckari on 27.02.2012 at 13:23

Haha not a problem, at least next time you'll know to call me Dudette
I'm glad you did go mad about my comparison actually, it's nice to have some feedback! You like this album then? I'm quite curious to know why

Dudette...hmmm...that sounds better.
You know, somehow I think the album's lost between 2 images:Metallica and Lou Reed. On one hand we have Metallica which made a decent comeback with Death Magnetic but still gets criticized for their public image and their so-called "mainstream" musical ideas, and on the other hand, we have Lou Reed. Now I think people know all about Lou Reed from his days in The Velvet Underground to these days where he has been under a lot of fire. I think we should stay away from this whole "compare it to MoP or Berlin" thing because, IMO, the album's nowhere near them.

However it's really simple, the fans are eager and have expectations, you can't deny that a lot of Metallica fans were eager to hear the album hoping for something a bit more exciting than "DM Metallica" and they got disappointed with the lyrics, with Lou Reed and with James being a table.

Looking at the lyrics and the main concept, I can say Lou isn't that bad. He obviously didn't narrate the whole "LuLu" plays but he also didn't try to stay too far and make it an essential er0tic story about sex and lust and if you're not interested in the lyrics, it's because you have a different definition of "art" in general, as if a naked statue of some hot chick is going to impress a person because that might signify and represent "freedom" and provokes another because that statue might sexually provoke people.

The only problem I have with the music is Lars Ulrich. The drums sound worse than "St.Anger", let alone "Death Magnetic." (It's common among us Iranians to say "This guy's playing with pots instead of playing drums." )

Otherwise, the guitars and the bass are acceptable and just fit with the structure of every song.
Lou Reed's vocals is a debatable subject and I think he could've done better but there's nothing much to expect from him in his 60's or 70's. As for James, I'm glad he can still sing.

CONCLUSION: Surely you can't listen to tracks like "Junior Dad" 10 times a day, but it's better to listen to it once and find a relation to it then to listen to it 24/7 and still get drown in yourself without finding out a relevation or a message behind the track. Lulu definitely proved that Metallica will go wherever they wanna go and have no fear performing risky moves whenever they feel it's time. Even with all the negative feedback Lou Reed drew all attentions once more and I think he's satisfied with this collaboration, and he's done with it.

For Metallica however, it's just the beginning. I don't think they're over...yet.
Beckari - 28.02.2012 at 14:31  
Awesome explanation! By far, the best I've heard on supporting the album!

It's funny though, I've never really looked at this album just coming from Lou's side it makes sense that Lou fans would love this album whereas many Metallica fans are pretty disappointed. As for the cover art, you mean that the manikin girl is the opposite of freedom, like being used and repressed?
Haha he probably could play better with pots, you couldn't have written that any better! Lars is not a good drummer in my eyes neither! The way he rolls and fills is just too.. simple! You expect to hear some sort of epicness.. but it's always a let-down..
I'm not giving up on Metallica just yet, but I do think work needs to be done before they'll come back strong
Monolithic - 28.02.2012 at 21:37  
Of course by "naked Statue", I was referring to actual statues that you can see in real life.
Well...I've only seen photos by now but I can see how people react saying "wow, that is an er0tic statue." and another guy might see it as a symbol glorifying freedom from any restrictions and limits.

I never could actually interpret what the cover means. Whenever I look at it, I see this image of someone who seemed so beautiful and innocent, yet she was driven by lust for power and sexual needs and having her hands torn out is like seeing her personality being torn by her own lust. I think it represents "lust".

Yeah, I think we all agree on that: Metallica needs some work to come back.
Dogsbreakfast - 24.03.2012 at 19:26  
No question that this album won't make my "best of" list but I am also coming to it as a Lou Reed fan. I can't get 3 songs deep into any of Metallica's albums so Reed really is this album's saving grace for me. I will admit that The Velvet Underground will always be the main point of reference but Apocalyptica's "Plays Metallica By Four Cellos" is likely as close as I can get to Metallica and still overcome the gag reflex.

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