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My Big, Fat, Stinkin', Vain, Metallica List Best To Least


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Opinions are like assholes and here's a some shit to spew. Better lube up. As much as I love heavy, I'm a sucker for good songs and genre doesn't mean shit to me.

Created by: afu | 06.04.2014



1. Metallica - Master Of Puppets
1986 This is neck and neck with Ride The Lightning. It wins by a nose only because of the production. Leper Messiah is kind of lame, but still works with the album. The first half of this album is sequenced superbly (copied from RTL) and the Mesa Boogie amps lend a darker, meatier tone. "I WAS BORN FOR DYIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!"
2. Metallica - Ride The Lightning
1984 My first Metallica album. So many fond memories.... Creeping Death and Fight Fire With Fire are so fucking awesome, but Escape is a little.... eh. This was also their last album with modified Marshall amps and the knockoff Flying V as the main gear.
3. Metallica - Metallica
1991 Despite the massive amounts of reverb, this has a lot of really great songwriting. It lags toward the end, but holds up pretty well as a whole. I can't help but love Sad But True, Through The Never, and Of Wolf and Man. Did they sell out with this album? Probably, but they invented a new mainstream metal genre with it and Megadeth spent the next decade using the template, while Metallica ventured off into other experiments.
4. Metallica - Load
1996 I'm going to get shit for this, but fuck you. Other than Cure and Poor Twisted Me, the songs on this album are mostly excellent. The House That Jack Built, Bleeding Me, and The Outlaw Torn venture into subtle textures and emotional darkness quite successfully and for the first time, Hetfield wrote mostly from a personal perspective.
5. Metallica - Kill 'Em All
1983 I love this album, but some of it is extremely juvenile. Most of the music is great and, for an indie, the production is well done. Then there's the lyrics.... Still, the energy of Hit The Lights, The Four Horsemen, and No Remorse are fucking awesome.
6. Metallica - Death Magnetic
2008 Yeah, the mixing and mastering distorted it. Get over it. Song-wise, I'd take two songs off of it and it would still be a great album. The first three songs and All Nightmare Long are great enough to make this one of their better albums. Did I mention All Nightmare long? Oh, I did. Well, it's fucking awesome. Also, That Was Just Your Life makes me wonder what Enter Sandman would have sounded like as a faster, heavier song.
7. Metallica - ...And Justice For All
1988 Blackened, And Justice For All, and One are fucking awesome. Most of the rest are good, but could have been improved by being more concise. The mix of this album is fucking terrible.
8. Metallica - Re-Load
1997 They should have just released Fuel, The Memory Remains, and Fixxxer as an EP with some live songs. It would have been better than the remaining huge, stinking, pile of half-baked, poorly performed, shit. Crapa Dummum, baby.
9. Metallica - St. Anger
2003 Take my complaints about Justice and Re-Load and multiply it by 100. Some of the songs have potential, but they are marred by repetition, cut and paste editing, crappy vocals, and Lars' not tightening his snares. If the first two songs were edited, they would be great. The rest of the album is shit.



Disclaimer: All top lists are unofficial and do not represent the point of view of the MS Staff.
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