Blog: Your Own Festival That Blows Hellfest Out Of The Water
| Written by: | Thryce |
| Published: | June 18, 2010 |
Right this very instant Hellfest Open Air is taking place.
If you don't know what Hellfest is, congratulations, you are either enjoying your first day on Metal Storm territory, or you are the proud owner of a hot tub time machine (in either case, welcome).
For months we have bombarded you with Hellfest news and announcements, preview articles, give-away contests and more news and announcements. But now that the time has finally come, well, we're not there. And if you're reading this, it obviously means you didn't make it as well. Yeey us for not being there!
The look that says: "100% not attending... and biting the bullet."
The Staff Towers are pretty much abandoned now. Nobody is working at their desks. Marcel's drunken ramblings don't echo from our chill-out room annex bar. Our supersized fridge is completely empty as the bastards took all the food and beer with them "for the road" - fuck! - and the Canadian elites aren't awake yet so I can't order them to fetch me some new booze.
All sober and no Hellfest makes Thryce a cranky boy.
Can you imagine? Around this time, half of the board is there, enjoying the shit out of the festival with its many great bands, watching a good show in the summer sun, having a blast with the many other Metal Stormers, drinking overpriced dishwater (or whatever the heck the French serve as beer)... And we have nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Well, I'm not taking it any longer! I'm here to make a statement... I'm here to start an anti-Hellfest revolution...
Well, that and I'm freaking bored.
So let's have a little fun on our own, shall we. To hell with Hellfest and everyone attending Hellfest, let's organize one kickass festival that is way better and more awesome than silly Hellfest. One that will put Hellfest with their pants down. If everyone makes a list, we'll get there.
Here are the rules of our little game:
- You can only participate if you didn't go to Hellfest Open Air 2010.
- You can only pick five bands, and line them up according to the following set-up:
opening act - warm-up - direct support - headliner - after-party.
- You have one wildcard to summon a deactivated band to do a one-time reunion gig.
- You have one wildcard to summon one musician from the death.
In short: just come up with the best line-up since the dawn of fucking time, and select your five all-time/current favorite bands that'll play just for you and your enormous wallet.
I'll go first.
[Insert kickass band] in the middle of their set on [insert awesome name] Fest.
OPENING ACT - WARNING The festival takes off with an exclusive one-time reunion show of Warning, the epic doom metal outfit that broke up somewhere last year. Those hauntingly beautiful soul-crushing songs will be a guaranteed hit, sending chills down many spines.
WARM-UP - HEAVEN SHALL BURN These days there are only a handful of worthwhile metalcore bands that truly deserve your attention, Heaven Shall Burn being one of them. With their death metal instigated metalcore this band will stir up the crowd like a human blender. The perfect warm-up of any festival.
DIRECT SUPPORT ACT - MORBID ANGEL Brilliant live band. No further introduction needed. If you don't see why I lined-up Morbid Angel, stay the fuck off my festival lawn.
HEADLINER - EXODUS (1985-1993 era) Let me tell you a well-kept secret. The best thrash band at the end of the nineties wasn't Metallica, it wasn't even Megadeth (puh-lease!), it was fucking Exodus. For the occasion, the band will be hosting an old school thrash night and only play material coming off their five first records. Why? Because it's my goddamn festival, and I feel like it, that's why.
AFTER PARTY - THE ANGELIC PROCESS After this evening of relentless violence it's time to take a breather and close the festival in an ethereal and mesmerizing atmosphere. Since the late K. Angylus rejoined the land of the living for a few hours, The Angelic Process can end the festival in mysteriously stunning style.
Your turn.
Comments page 3 / 4
| Black_Handed A village idiot Posts: 386  |
I would go to carrion misery's festival!
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| Zhao The Arkaholic Posts: 104 |
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| Veertje Posts: 627  |
Written by amarchand on 23.06.2010 at 03:52 I'd sell my girlfriend to go to this festival. My line-up: Opening: Eluveitie Warm up: Ensiferum Direct Support: Moonsorrow Headliner: Children Of Bodom (yeah, they don't really fit in with the others, but hell, they kick ass live  )Afterparty: Agalloch
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| amarchand Posts: 54  |
Written by Veertje on 24.06.2010 at 17:28 I have to say I'd sell mine to visit yours as well. Except Bodom, unless you are referring to the Bodom of seven years ago
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| Veertje Posts: 627 |
Obviously. Since it's my festival, I control the playlist. So only songs from Something Wild to Hatecrew Deathroll
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| Cyroth Posts: 274  |
Written by amarchand on 24.06.2010 at 22:50 I'll sell my soul,fuck it,I don't need it...Agalloch can make me feel at peace
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| Veertje Posts: 627 |
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| Raziel X Posts: 117  |
OPENING ACT - Behemoth WARM-UP - Avantasia SUPPORT- Nevermore HEADLINE - Symphony X AFTER PARTY - Orphaned Land I know, lol 
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| corrupt With a lowercase c Admin Posts: 3195  |
I'm surprised how many of you suggest bands they can see live any day anyway. Here's your chance to decide upon a lineup that kills everything that's ever been there and yet people come up with such rare gems as Arch Enemy, Children Of Bodom, Iron Maiden, Nightwish and Ensiferum. Come on people, you can resurrect the dead and reunite bands here.
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| Marcel Hubregtse Grumpy Old Fuck Elite Posts: 40071  |
Written by corrupt on 26.06.2010 at 11:01 I was thinking the exact same thing.
---- Member of the true crusade against European Flower Metal Yesterday is dead and gone, tomorrow is out of sight Dawn Crosby (r.i.p.) 05.04.1963 - 15.12.1996 
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| AyΣm Abyssal Zebra Posts: 283  |
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| Abattoir Staff Posts: 3635  |
Quite diverse line-up, if you look on different classification of genres but still... Opening act - <b>AC/DC</b> (unusual for start you might think, but hey anything is possible  )Warm-up - Sick of It All (hardcore band, which would certanily blow you away) Direct Support Act - <b>Kreator</b> (there can't be festival without some genuine thrash metal) Headliner - <b>Sentenced</b> (this would be definitely a mesmerizing and memorable show) After Party - <b>Saturnus</b> (some beautiful sad after party for the conclusion)
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| swatata Posts: 59  |
Opening Act-Def Leppard Warm Up-Judas Priest Direct Support-Iron Maiden Headliner-Running Wild After Party-Jimi Hendrix
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| BloodTears ANA-thema Elite Posts: 11835  |
Festival: Prog Madness Opening act - In Mourning Warm-up - Riverside Direct Support Act - Opeth Headliner - Dream Theater After Party - Nevermore Festival organizers, pay attention!
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| Marcel Hubregtse Grumpy Old Fuck Elite Posts: 40071 |
And again a line-up of bands we can see whenever we want.
---- Member of the true crusade against European Flower Metal Yesterday is dead and gone, tomorrow is out of sight Dawn Crosby (r.i.p.) 05.04.1963 - 15.12.1996
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| Darkside Momo Retired Elite Posts: 9087  |
Written by Marcel Hubregtse on 28.06.2010 at 23:30 Once again, that's true for you in the nether lands. Nevermore play once or twice every five years in France, so I don't even know if they ever played in Portugal. But yeah, I'd rather see bands like, say, Death, mentioned more often.
---- My Author's Blog (in French)  "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you" "I've lost too many years now I'm stealing back my soul I am awake"
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| Zombie Thrash'tillDeath Posts: 1627  |
My very own "Hellfest" would be a Thrash/Death one, starting off with: OPENING ACT - NERVECELL | The Death metal veterans from Dubai, United Arab Emirates would definitely be my opening act; they're the only band among the line-up that i had actually attended a concert to, and they FUCKING kick ass. they were successful openers to lots of great bands, and i'd want to spice things up with a strong opening act. WARM-UP - LAAZ ROCKIT | Next band would be Laaz Rockit, speeding things up and turning things more thrashy, while maintaining the technicality introduced by the previous Nervecell, and laaz remains one of my all-time favs. DIRECT SUPPORT ACT - MORBID ANGEL | I'm dying to see morbid angel live, so, that's a pretty damn good reason to be in my line-up  , also, they're the perfect thrash/death blend band out-there.. and possibly the greatest death metal band ever !HEADLINER - KREATOR | My current favorite band, True Thrash Metal, with a melodic kick to it, my kind of thrash ! the German legends would break the silence of the night with Mille's vocals, Sami's beautiful solos, and Ventor's thunder-like drums. AFTER PARTY - TESTAMENT | Testament would play their classics; like ALL of the legacy album ending with "the legacy" track itself to soothe things down at the end of a loud night packed with extreme thrash and death metal at its finest. you're all invited to my show, free of charge... just bring your own booze and bring me some too !!
----  None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free Johann Wolfgang van Goethe 1749-1832
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| BloodTears ANA-thema Elite Posts: 11835 |
Written by Darkside Momo on 29.06.2010 at 02:16 Actually of all the bands I mentioned, only DT plays regularly in Portugal. Nevermore hasn't played here in years, Riverside only played here once. In Mourning never played here. So, no, I can't see those bands whenever I want. I guess that was supposed to be our dream Festival?
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| Dark Cornatus Powerslave Elite Posts: 4330  |
Opening act - Death Warm-up - Agalloch Direct Support Act - Edenbridge Headliner - Therion After Party - Diablo Swing Orchestra
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| EntityOfMalice14 Posts: 8  |
Opening act - The Ocean Warm up - Mastodon Direct Support Act - Opeth Headliner - 70's Era Led Zeppelin After Party - Queens of the Stone Age This Would be excellent
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| ☭ Mr. S ☭ Owner of the DSA Posts: 76  |
DRONE FEST OPENING - Boris WARM UP - KTL SUPPORT - Jesu HEADLINER - Sunn O))) AFTER PARTY - Ginnungagap Basically Stephen O'Malley would be playing his ass off. But because Drone Fest might be boring here is... OPEING - LARD WARM UP - KMFDM (performing their Metal material) SUPPORT - The Melvins HEADLINER - Killing Joke AFTER PARTY - Black Flag
---- Seize the weed of production!
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| Carrion Misery Posts: 424  |
Written by corrupt on 26.06.2010 at 11:01 It's a cool concept to resurrect the dead or reunite a band, but I'm personally not interested in putting together a line up that will never happen. I'm comfortable with never seeing Death or the original line up of Led Zeppelin in their prime. I'm more interested in a possible, well-matched line up that has never been put together in one night in a particular order. That's what really gets me excited and that's why I picked the lineup I did.
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| MétalNoir Fils du Lys Posts: 847  |
FESTIVAL'S TITLE: FRED'S WORLDWIDE PAGANFEST (In your face, this is MY party) LOCATION: On the top of Mont-Tremblant CONCEPT: I'm a folk fan, yeah, it's a trend blah blah blah, I don't give a shit, I've always been into folk, folk rock and folk metal and I want an all-folk festival!!! Each band represents a continent or region. OPENING ACT - AMERICA - MOONLYGHT The best canadian band along with Unexpect, and I'll use my reuniting card to see them live just once :'( Of course they'll open the whole shit with "The Sceptic Traveller", and they'll play an encore for "The Autum's Freezing Harmony"! WARM-UP - EASTERN EUROPE - DALRIADA After the progressive epics of Moonlyght, Dalriada will bring a technical power metally touch to the fest. SUPPORT - MIDDLE EAST - MELECHESH How can you go through a pagan festival without a sumerian band like Melechesh? The eastern beats will drive us all crazy before the headline kicks in! HEADLINE - WESTERN EUROPE - EQUILIBRIUM My fav band! They'll get Helge and Manu back and kick our asses with fast catchy and epic metal just as I like! And this will be their very first North American concert (FOR ME!) AFTER PARTY - ASIA - CHTHONIC To close the festival, the Far East's sensation will focus on their early stuff and infuse it with twice as much violin as they usually do! "Quasi Putrefaction" will end up this magnificient festival!
---- Notre destinée n'est pas encore tracée....
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| corrupt With a lowercase c Admin Posts: 3195 |
Written by MétalNoir on 02.07.2010 at 17:54 That's a choice I thought of making myself. By "their early stuff" I guess you mean everything including Seediq Bale? I could see that happen. In fact I would love to seem them play the whole album. It's by far their best so far.
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| MétalNoir Fils du Lys Posts: 847 |
Written by corrupt on 02.07.2010 at 18:02 Take a look at the review I wrote for Mirror of Retribution and you'll get a good idea of my feelings about this band  Seediq Bale is a masterpiece.
---- Notre destinée n'est pas encore tracée....
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| Zombie Thrash'tillDeath Posts: 1627 |
Written by MétalNoir on 02.07.2010 at 17:54 you DO know that Melechesh is from the Netherlands, right ? only their frontman spent his youth in israel i guess.
---- None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free Johann Wolfgang van Goethe 1749-1832
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| Marcel Hubregtse Grumpy Old Fuck Elite Posts: 40071 |
Written by Zombie on 03.07.2010 at 01:46 Except for Ahsmedi I think Moloch (guitars) is also from Israel. Btw th band did start in Israel and only later on relocated to The Netherlands. Where they have been lviving now for years and have two Dutch band members as well (Xul on drums and Rahm on bass)
---- Member of the true crusade against European Flower Metal Yesterday is dead and gone, tomorrow is out of sight Dawn Crosby (r.i.p.) 05.04.1963 - 15.12.1996
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| Zombie Thrash'tillDeath Posts: 1627 |
Written by Marcel Hubregtse on 03.07.2010 at 20:01 i've never heard of Melechesh except when they moved to nederland, but i know Ashmedi is israeli as i hve him on myspace .. he has pix in jerusalem as youth
---- None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free Johann Wolfgang van Goethe 1749-1832
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| Marcel Hubregtse Grumpy Old Fuck Elite Posts: 40071 |
Nixe pic LOL well someone probably has some pics of him backstage at hellfest last year fooling around totally drunk with hoest. My gos that was almost emberassing hahahahahaha
---- Member of the true crusade against European Flower Metal Yesterday is dead and gone, tomorrow is out of sight Dawn Crosby (r.i.p.) 05.04.1963 - 15.12.1996
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| skrätte I Hate You Posts: 78  |
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