NOTE: This was posted on April Fools day 2010. Although the contents of this news are not entirely true, the .net part entirely is! A real explanation to what has happened can be found here:

http://www.metalstorm.net/events/news_comments.php?news_id=10756

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Yup, it finally happened. The underground MetalStorm.ee switched to mainstream as fuck MetalStorm.net.

If you think "holy moly, this means the dawn of a new era," well, congratulations, you discovered the pizza truck with a giant satellite dish right in front of your window. It's been camping there for years, but whatever.

The truth is we started selling out years ago - when we turned the zine into a serious corporate business. That's right, it's all political nowadays. We've been accepting money - good money actually - to make bands like Atreyu, Slipknot, Avenged Sevenfold, Bullet For My Valentine and the likes, visible bands on MS for years now.

After the whole Executive management (what you know as the Staff) and the shareholders (aka the Elite team) got a company car as a New Year's bonus (a pitch-black BMW Z4 E85 - aw yeah, we're those kind of guys), we think it's time to show our true colors - or better yet, untrue colors - and switch to MetalStorm.net.

Not joking around this time.

Of course, somewhere deep in your rotten heart, you all wanted this too. Just look at those Band Suggestions you guys are making. The thing is filled with metalcore/deathcore/crapcore bands, scene shit and even Linkin Park. Good going!

So thanks a bunch for those suggestions! We'll think of you next time we pay a speeding ticket (those BWM's are not made to ride by the speeding rules, or what did you think?) with the money we got from In This Moment, The Devil Wears Prada, Bring Me The Horizon and Oceano to make them a visible band, appearing in the news, reviews and interviews all the time... No, that was an April's Fool's joke... we won't be thinking of you.

We announce this news on April 1st because it perfectly fits our long-term strategy in deceiving you. Hell, in the past years we - intentionally - fed you crap like Disco Storm, Blakk Metul Storm, Flower Storm and whatnot, just to make sure you wouldn't believe this conspiracy theory. That's right, we want you to reject belief in this conspiracy. Because this time, it's all true, MetalStorm.net IS happening.


Around MS Corporation, we tell you what to believe and what not - we always have.

No, seriously, we're not messing around, MetalStorm.net is a fact.



Sincerely yours,


Thryce - Senior vice president of development and public affairs

in coordination with Ivan - Chief Executive Officer



PS: Nope, we're still not adding Dethklok. What are those cartoon characters gonna pay with? Monopoly money?

Source:

metalstorm.net