Metal Storm Awards 2014
5... 4... Get your pencils... 2... 1... Vote!
Now, who did you vote for? Republicans? Democrats? Don't say communists?? Oh, come on now, don't be shy, we know you have already voted. Sure you have. Don't deny it. So, uh, who was it? Metallica? Iron Maiden? Slayer? Listen, by the time we reread these lines, verify that the banner is up and running, and that the newsflash has been correctly posted and linked, you have already voted. We know you have. So, you might as well come out and say it so.
When most still read these lines, black metal has amassed a ton of votes, death metal is practically a goner, and in thrash metal there are no questions left to be asked, heavy metal has also been decided in a blink of an eye, and alternative has a definite runaway, as do prog and stoner, while avantgarde and post metal might hold for a bit, we doubt they'll stand much longer.
The masses are coming. Oh, the masses are coming, brace yourselves for the love of your kin. The dark, frenzied masses are coming. People are using bats and makeshift clubs to get at the voting booths, to get at the buttons to get their votes in at the grand opening minute. Indecision has no place in this battle for votes. Blink, and you get shoved out of the way. Dawdle, and you get trampled. Feeble-minded get kicked and pushed, beaten and stabbed, shot at and left to rot. Only the bold and the mean survive. Hysterics ensue. Darkness falls all around. World order crumbles. Blood flows everywhere and sun fails to come up. There is no free choice in this world of bleak ignorance of being the first to vote. We know it... There simply is no way your vote can count... or is there?
No, you know it. There is no justice. Yes, the world is mad and there is no antidote. Never was, and never will be. Depressing isn't it? While the quick-shooters run amok, we, the sharp-shooters, can only stand by and ride out the storm, see the world crumble and build a new post-apocalyptic society. For, you see, we know something they don't. We know that we are too few to stop it. But we also know the value of these awards. We know what to look for. We know where to look for. And we know what we will find. Treasures, lots and lots of musical treasures. Treasures that will survive the apocalypse with us.
So, let us have a laugh together at those who vote the very minute the awards are open. Let us take the time together to discover all the great music we've found over the course of the year and are offering to share with you. Take your time, for it is worth it. You won't regret spending hours to find a new musical crush or a new musical love of your life. It's worth it. And when you feel strongly about any nominees, want to rant, curse, praise or share your opinion, make sure you make yourself heard here. And, in the end, though results are predestined, don't forget to cast your vote. You never know, you might see butterfly effect in action.
The Annual Metal Storm Awards Committee a.k.a.
Metal Storm Staff
Best albums by genre