Written by Introspekrieg on 22.09.2010 at 23:11

I had been dating a girl in high school out of boredom for about two weeks who had the most god-awful breath... looks were okay but the halitosis was becoming unbearable. I thought maybe she was just having a bad week or something but it continued. I realized it would never work out, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings and look like an asshole. I then came up with a plan to make her think I was weird and dislike me.
We had been drinking at a party and she wanted to go out to my car for some privacy. I was still a virgin and wasn't planning on losing the title to her anytime soon. In the car she got naked and climbed to the backseat, so I put my plan into action. I simply pulled out a rubber glove that I had taken from my friend's house (his mom was a nurse) and said with a creepy expression: "Let's play gynecologist". She looked at me terrified and said quietly, "I don't think I want to have sex with you anymore." Later that night she ended up giving one of my drunk friends a handjob on the couch while everyone was sleeping on the floor... success!

I wonder how you even managed for two weeks. When I was in high school, there was this girl with the most horrible breath ever. It was as if something died in her mouth. It was a mystery, her teeth didn't even look fucked up. I don't know what was causing it.
So one day in English class, she sits next to me and wants me to help her with something. I will never forget that day. I still remember it clearly because I almost died. When we sat so close together, the smell from her damn mouth was everywhere. I tried not to breathe, but when it came time to say something...I tried to say it really fast and then hold my breath again.
When she left....I felt so liberated. I thought, yesss...I'm not gonna die after all. I don't know what I would do if she stayed for a bit more. It would be so embarrassing. I'd have t tell her that her mouth smells like roadkill and that I can't take it anymore. The worst thing is she knew her mouth smelled like shit, and still with the breathing in my faceeeeee. Omfg. Halitosis. Ugh.
You lucked out with that girl though. If a guy pulled out rubber gloves and said let's play gynecologist, I'd probably say let's.

Ok... not really a relationship, so not really a breakup. I was flirting with this girl, who, for laughs woukdnt tell me her name, so i didnt tell her my name either. She decided she liked me, anyway,, and we started going out to resturants and the movies, but werent officially dating, and didnt know each others names. Anyway, this went on for about two weeks, when i said i couldnt bear it anymore, so she told me her name and i told her mine. As soon as i told her my name she said "holy fuck! i thought you were someone ellse!" and stormed out. I havemt heard from her since.

Ok... not really a relationship, so not really a breakup. I was flirting with this girl, who, for laughs woukdnt tell me her name, so i didnt tell her my name either. She decided she liked me, anyway,, and we started going out to resturants and the movies, but werent officially dating, and didnt know each others names. Anyway, this went on for about two weeks, when i said i couldnt bear it anymore, so she told me her name and i told her mine. As soon as i told her my name she said "holy fuck! i thought you were someone ellse!" and stormed out. I havemt heard from her since.

Written by whatsacow on 29.09.2010 at 16:39

Ok... not really a relationship, so not really a breakup. I was flirting with this girl, who, for laughs woukdnt tell me her name, so i didnt tell her my name either. She decided she liked me, anyway,, and we started going out to resturants and the movies, but werent officially dating, and didnt know each others names. Anyway, this went on for about two weeks, when i said i couldnt bear it anymore, so she told me her name and i told her mine. As soon as i told her my name she said "holy fuck! i thought you were someone ellse!" and stormed out. I havemt heard from her since.

Sounds like you should have waited to tell her your name after you fuck her...

Written by Kennoth on 30.09.2010 at 17:24

Written by whatsacow on 29.09.2010 at 16:39

Ok... not really a relationship, so not really a breakup. I was flirting with this girl, who, for laughs woukdnt tell me her name, so i didnt tell her my name either. She decided she liked me, anyway,, and we started going out to resturants and the movies, but werent officially dating, and didnt know each others names. Anyway, this went on for about two weeks, when i said i couldnt bear it anymore, so she told me her name and i told her mine. As soon as i told her my name she said "holy fuck! i thought you were someone ellse!" and stormed out. I havemt heard from her since.

Sounds like you should have waited to tell her your name after you fuck her...

yeah. hindsights a bitch

Awesome story if true. I'll never tell anyone my name again

Written by -tom- on 30.09.2010 at 20:22

Awesome story if true. I'll never tell anyone my name again

its true lol. if i made up the story, dont you think i would have at least got some lol?

Since when break-up is funny

Written by advent on 04.10.2010 at 03:51

Since when break-up is funny

It definitely shouldnt be... probably there's no real love involved if you can find it "funny". lol

Well.. sometimes it is lol

Written by advent on 04.10.2010 at 03:51

Since when break-up is funny

It's always awkward and funny

Written by Guest on 04.10.2010 at 04:46

Written by advent on 04.10.2010 at 03:51

Since when break-up is funny

It's always awkward and funny

Things you find hurtful or painful at the time can sometimes be looked back upon with humour. Also, you realise that not every relationship has love in it. You can go out with people for a short amount of time and realise it isnt working, and something funny could come from that.

Written by whatsacow on 04.10.2010 at 14:41

Written by Guest on 04.10.2010 at 04:46

Written by advent on 04.10.2010 at 03:51

Since when break-up is funny

It's always awkward and funny

Things you find hurtful or painful at the time can sometimes be looked back upon with humour. Also, you realise that not every relationship has love in it. You can go out with people for a short amount of time and realise it isnt working, and something funny could come from that.

Exactly

I spit on my girlfriend's hand once by accident, that wasn't funny back then, because she didn't laugh.

Written by whatsacow on 04.10.2010 at 14:41

Written by Guest on 04.10.2010 at 04:46

Written by advent on 04.10.2010 at 03:51

Since when break-up is funny

It's always awkward and funny

Things you find hurtful or painful at the time can sometimes be looked back upon with humour. Also, you realise that not every relationship has love in it. You can go out with people for a short amount of time and realise it isnt working, and something funny could come from that.

Absolutely, only I don't have any looking back that are funny.

Ok once there was one girl stocking me all the time ...so i eventually decided to be her "boyfriend" just to get her of my back...but that didnt ended there...she was a pretty much boring ...you know she was really annoying to me....so one time on a "date " I decided to broke up with her on the best way that can be done ....by constant insisting on sex....she run away like hell....

Written by Doc G. on 29.11.2009 at 23:51

She's not alive anymore.

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/2xg3/

I broke up with my girl friend. After a day she divided it's a break. After two days that were friends again.

Written by Valentin B on 19.05.2011 at 19:30

Written by Doc G. on 29.11.2009 at 23:51

She's not alive anymore.

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/2xg3/

Dances around laughing at Motorhead. Nah nah nah nah!

Written by Valentin B on 19.05.2011 at 19:30

Written by Doc G. on 29.11.2009 at 23:51

She's not alive anymore.

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/2xg3/

That's just fantastic! Thanks Val!

Written by Doc G. on 19.05.2011 at 23:53

That's just fantastic! Thanks Val!

bro's before hoe's man.

I have a good one.
Some of you may know that I have spent some time in the US Military (worst years of my life, no clue why I even signed up when I hate my government as much as I do)

Anyways I already did a 12 month tour in Iraq. I go back to the states. I met some really good girl. Actually fell for her, she moved in with my ect.... So I ended up getting notified that I was about to leave on a 15 month tour in Iraq. Fuck my life. Anyways I left, this girl was still living in my house with a ring on her finger. I come back from Iraq missing her like no other. I am a well trained man, I have been trained to read people. I knew something was wrong. Anyways come to find out she had some guy living there with her while I was going. So she was using my money and basically just using me. I was sooooo mad. That one weekend her sister was getting married (Remember I kept all of this to myself). We went to her sisters wedding. I wanted payback to my bitch girl. She left early to the wedding, during that time I packed everything that she owns and moved it into the garage. I changed every lock in the house so that she has no way to get in. Point 1 for me. We went to the wedding. He sister has always had a thing for me. Well come to find out she REALLY had one for me even on her wedding night. Long story short, my old girlfriend walked in on my sleeping with her sister. When she walked in I had the girl on her back while I was yanking on that hair, hilarious. She was pissed, started crying and left. I knew where she was going. So I ran outside to my motorcycle, beat her home, and waited inside for her to try and get it. After about 4543497342 phone calls from her and her pounding on the door, I opened it up to tell her why.
I told her that if she wants to Lie, Cheat, use, and have some other man sleep in my bed while im gone, she can live somewhere else.

Written by Guest on 20.05.2011 at 19:20

I have a good one.
Some of you may know that I have spent some time in the US Military (worst years of my life, no clue why I even signed up when I hate my government as much as I do)

Anyways I already did a 12 month tour in Iraq. I go back to the states. I met some really good girl. Actually fell for her, she moved in with my ect.... So I ended up getting notified that I was about to leave on a 15 month tour in Iraq. Fuck my life. Anyways I left, this girl was still living in my house with a ring on her finger. I come back from Iraq missing her like no other. I am a well trained man, I have been trained to read people. I knew something was wrong. Anyways come to find out she had some guy living there with her while I was going. So she was using my money and basically just using me. I was sooooo mad. That one weekend her sister was getting married (Remember I kept all of this to myself). We went to her sisters wedding. I wanted payback to my bitch girl. She left early to the wedding, during that time I packed everything that she owns and moved it into the garage. I changed every lock in the house so that she has no way to get in. Point 1 for me. We went to the wedding. He sister has always had a thing for me. Well come to find out she REALLY had one for me even on her wedding night. Long story short, my old girlfriend walked in on my sleeping with her sister. When she walked in I had the girl on her back while I was yanking on that hair, hilarious. She was pissed, started crying and left. I knew where she was going. So I ran outside to my motorcycle, beat her home, and waited inside for her to try and get it. After about 4543497342 phone calls from her and her pounding on the door, I opened it up to tell her why.
I told her that if she wants to Lie, Cheat, use, and have some other man sleep in my bed while im gone, she can live somewhere else.

Haha!
"Revenge is a dish best served cold"
x)

This happened about 5 years ago.

I saw her a couple weeks ago at the food market. Stopped and said Hi. Just some small talk. She was for interested in me, twirling her hair, ect.... I didn't give her the time of day though. She has been calling and texting me. I have been thinking about playing yet another mean joke to get this crazy bitch out of my life.

@EmperorGonzo: Just epic, most people wouldn't have the brains and the guts for such a revenge .

Written by Guest on 20.05.2011 at 19:40

This happened about 5 years ago.

I saw her a couple weeks ago at the food market. Stopped and said Hi. Just some small talk. She was for interested in me, twirling her hair, ect.... I didn't give her the time of day though. She has been calling and texting me. I have been thinking about playing yet another mean joke to get this crazy bitch out of my life.

I love seeing people I knew before transition because they rarely recognize me and they'll treat me different, it's hilarious. Like I told Kennoth, I've had 2 guys hit on me that used to hate me. I ran into one of the biggest snobs when a friend and I went out with our guys and she's a little fat, manless and has a kid who's daddy wants nothing to do with her.....I giggled a little.

Written by Bulletdodger on 20.05.2011 at 21:12

@EmperorGonzo: Just epic, most people wouldn't have the brains and the guts for such a revenge .

I wanted to go cut her throat, but I decided to be civil. Haha