Written by hanna of steel on 10.03.2007 at 13:46

You do not live happily ever after once the ring is on your finger just becuase the ceremony was nice.

@ hanna: Of course not! I completely agree with you! Problems will always be there. what matters is how those problems are solved within teh couple. Having a ring in my finger won't make problems go away, I'm just saying the ceremony is nice, which doesn't mean a nice ceremony will have as result a perfect life.

And I'm not saying that it's only a catholic thing either, that would be foolish. I just said, that since my family is catholic, I've seen some catholic marriages, that's all. If I ever get married under any religion, it would be catholic, but not because I'm a big devote, only because it's the religion I grew up with. I can't get married as an evangelic or protestant or muslim or buddhist (is it well written?) because I don't know those religions, but I guess it's a pretty cool ritual in those religions as well.

Marriage is quite a thing, and just because two people are married does not mean everything is perfect or ideal. The purpose of marriage is a sacred promise to be together, love one another and venture through life with your partner. Some people have differant ideal's and perspective's, such as being married and still being in love yet allowing outside sexual encounter's to enter their live's.

If a person want's to experiance thing's sexually with other people, or try being with other people than they should do so before they decide to get married because acknowledging and agreeing to be devoted to their partner is quite crucial.

Some time's bad thing's happen within a marriage, mistake's are made, uncertainties arise and so on. Some time's the feeling or prospect of restriction and life long dedication eat at people, and some time's it's just the prospect that scare's them but in actuality they do want to be with that person for forever, and other time's they decide that perhap's they need to be "free." The thing about marriage is you really don't know all these thing's until you go through them and endure the trial's that accompany being married.

I speak from experiance at a first hand. I will admit that I have not been with very many people but when I asked my wife to marry me that I was very certain that it was what I wanted to do, and since then we have been through thing's that I would have never expected to occure, and although it has been goddamn hard at time's I hold no regret's. Overall she fulfill's what I want in a partner, and yes we have both said and done some stupid thing's, we've managed to overcome the odd's and doubt's. It can be a rather complicated and trying situation for anyone, but I think what it come's down to is that love between the two people, and they should be able to endure any and all obstacle's, bar none, but sometime's two people can still love one another and be in love, yet not be together.. that part is even more complicated. It's a learning experiance.

Every guy in this thread that says they're against marriage, I want to see you when you're girlfriend asks you if you want to marry her. You'll be damn happy to marry her.

My opinion on this whole matter? Everyone should do whatever pleases him/her. I can imagine you see it as a bond, a strenghening and a way of saying to the public: 'Yes, we're in love!'. On the otherhand, I can also imagine some of you see it as an unnecessary thing.

..HumanError.., you said:

Quote:
I think people cant love each other all their life.

How are you so sure? Are you not a bit biased, because of your parents? On the otherhand, what is love? It is a common truth after some time the 'butterflies' are gone. But does that mean you can't live without each other? it could also be that you are simply together. You are 'friends', but much, MUUUUCH stronger than that. And that is love.

I support marriage for three reasons:

Economic reason: As someone pointed out before, a marriage is a form of a contract. It's alot easier to decide what is yours and what is not through marriage. For example, if you share an appartment and then suddenly split up it can be difficult to decide how much % of the appartment that is yours or how much money you should have for givin up the appartment if you're a cohabitating couple, compared to a married couple. Unfortunally I have only the swedish laws of cohabitation and marriage to compare with, as I don't know how these laws funktion in the rest of the world.

Cultural reason: If two people fall in love, a marriage is a great way to say how serious you are about it. I know it sounds like a klichée, but I think you are alot more willing to work on a relationship if you're married as a divorce can be harder to go through then a simple split-up.

Spiritual reason: This may entertwine with the cultural reason, but at a wedding cermony I belive you enter a different level of your soul. You're not only getting intouch with your spiritual self, but also you feel much more closer to God(or whatever force or deity you belive in), stregenthing the bound with him/her/it. Of course this may sound like bullshit to an atheist but I think also they have felt somthing special the day they got married to.



But I also think marriage is not for everyone. First people shouldn't rush into these kind of things, I think that's why so many couples divorces. Secondly, Those who aren't capable of serious relationships shouldn't get married at all as it will end in misery for either him/her or his/her partner. And some people just funktion better without the pressure of marriage.

Written by Bitter Dawn on 11.03.2007 at 00:08

Some time's bad thing's happen within a marriage, mistake's are made, uncertainties arise and so on. Some time's the feeling or prospect of restriction and life long dedication eat at people, and some time's it's just the prospect that scare's them but in actuality they do want to be with that person for forever, and other time's they decide that perhap's they need to be "free." The thing about marriage is you really don't know all these thing's until you go through them and endure the trial's that accompany being married.

I speak from experiance at a first hand. I will admit that I have not been with very many people but when I asked my wife to marry me that I was very certain that it was what I wanted to do, and since then we have been through thing's that I would have never expected to occure, and although it has been goddamn hard at time's I hold no regret's. Overall she fulfill's what I want in a partner, and yes we have both said and done some stupid thing's, we've managed to overcome the odd's and doubt's.

That's exactly my point.. What matters is not tthe fact of having a ring or being part of a nice ceremony (no matter teh religion), because problems will always be there, what really matters is how teh couple solves it. If someone, liek you, decides to get married, it is because you have thought a lot.

I really think getting married is a big decision, and it must be thought very very well, because it's something that will change both lives. Every man must know what he's doing and be sure that she's the person he wants to spend his life with. That is the real question, IMO: "Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person?" Now, that's a hard question, despite all the love, because there are thing that are never overcome, that are never tolerated, and those things must be spoken between the couple, to avoid problems in future, and have a good marriage. Comunication is they.

Scarrowed Muse - I agree its promise in nowdays dont emans nothing, nothing, in old days it means a lot of, seems better be legalise abortion and forbiden devorse, or somehow stop it or make terible hard, it stops young ppl merige

well i cant imagine me merriage, cant because almousta ll merriage ends whit devorce, and what hepen if cople has child?

IMO ppl can be only one or 2 meriagge ok 3 if if wife/husband dies seems im old fashion minded in this case


Torelli - Man eceonomical reason, man thats why i hare meriagge, because mosut of ppl do it of money, money and money, and thank God I dont belonge nothing, so no meriagge for me, but IMO ist moust of cruel reason merry for money and I had beed experience around me, so .... fuck it

About other reasons well mariagge IMO shood be only in church, only reason in love, I donbt agree whut such Indian, Asian type of weddings(but I dont deny them, It diferent culture) but me like Europiean, only love and love



Nervel - Well I hope such think wont hepen, and if she loves me then she shood wate and accepeted that i dont wanna merry her, and still its comlicated because easyer are be alone what was that IM song lyric , Im man who walks alone

And well some ppl can love each other all life actualy ist better die or do suicide if you love girl its good waye escape pain what can hepen leither, because I dont belive in love all time, love is full whit pain and meriagge its be like love, only iif pll are wery old close to dieyng then it stops them broke up and start life for new, so get meriagge i age 60

Well I wont vote because I feel marriage can either be good or bad. Marriage can take the fun out of life and a relationship but it has its good points like some have mentioned here. (although that economic reason sounds more like a safety precaution in case you break up or something lol). I think Nervel put it really well.

Written by [user id=20559] on 11.03.2007 at 22:03

Well I wont vote because I feel marriage can either be good or bad. Marriage can take the fun out of life and a relationship but it has its good points like some have mentioned here. (although that economic reason sounds more like a safety precaution in case you break up or something lol). I think Nervel put it really well.

Well fun can be if pl are free non lows unite them, so how mariagge can chage realationships, feelings, emotions if ppl love each other?

Economical reason well IMO if ppl brake it dont change nothing only problem are place where live, other thinks no, of cors eof one mamber work, other just use it, then its deep deep shit for that who dont work

Written by Bad English on 11.03.2007 at 22:21

Written by [user id=20559] on 11.03.2007 at 22:03

Well I wont vote because I feel marriage can either be good or bad. Marriage can take the fun out of life and a relationship but it has its good points like some have mentioned here. (although that economic reason sounds more like a safety precaution in case you break up or something lol). I think Nervel put it really well.

Well fun can be if pl are free non lows unite them, so how mariagge can chage realationships, feelings, emotions if ppl love each other?

Economical reason well IMO if ppl brake it dont change nothing only problem are place where live, other thinks no, of cors eof one mamber work, other just use it, then its deep deep shit for that who dont work

Marriage changes things. Suddenly you have to spend lots of time together. Many big decisions have to be made. Serious jobs and saving cash for kids education. There's not so much fun/love involved unless you're with the right person.

Well the economic view is quite pessimistic actually.

@Angelstorm - But well if thay live together,its still same like meriagge, living togehter its still like meriagge, all day togethern, share thinks, room, bad ewerything
I understand about kids and saving monbey, but kids its not for me, even if i some day merry(I HOPE IT WONT HEPPEN) but not kids, no its not for me and if cople wanna kids it shood be based in true love, not some cruel reasons, kids its alive, its not think bute alive humen so whit feelings, ...

@K7, I think living together and being married is definitely different. There is so much more responsibility to make things work and life is a lot more serious suddenly. Making money and financial issues are more important. Suddenly have to spend a lot more time with each other than anyone else.

Written by [user id=20559] on 11.03.2007 at 23:28

@K7, I think living together and being married is definitely different. There is so much more responsibility to make things work and life is a lot more serious suddenly. Making money and financial issues are more important. Suddenly have to spend a lot more time with each other than anyone else.

I cant coment I duno, I shood feel it in real life and then I coud coment but IMO meriagge ist eaasyer, how being together, one of them say all are ower, but if thay are in meriagge its not so easy

Written by [user id=20559] on 11.03.2007 at 23:28

@K7, I think living together and being married is definitely different. There is so much more responsibility to make things work and life is a lot more serious suddenly. Making money and financial issues are more important. Suddenly have to spend a lot more time with each other than anyone else.

But isn't that rather the point?

Yeah, marrige definitely isn't easy... spending a lot of time around anyone is no small task, and there's really no escaping responsibility in life anyway. If I really did feel like I could spend my life with someone else, I would do it.... but I would date them for a good few years at least ,and live with them as well. Life doesn't HAVE to be more serious when you're married, I know a lot of people get divorced these days, but that's the shit people hear about all the time....besides, It doesn't strike me as odd that the more fake people are, the more they get divorced (hollywood, anyone?)

Marrige is definitely not something to be taken lightly and rushed in to, but it isn't a prison sentence either (if you marry the right person) and hell, some people have made it through years of marrige just fine. And that's to be respected, I think. I'm for it.

Im not voting, It can work both ways and depends on what your social background is concerning marriage. The kind of marriage I hate is the sort that is courted, or set up by the members families to make a social bond between the two families. Its something that is done in religious countries, or societies, and it sucks because sometimes the wife never meets the husband until they are married...but on the other hand, if a conscieous decision is made between a couple to get married, its not my place to say if they cant be married, on the contrary its something to be celebrated.

I grew up in an Islamic community, so marriage was a social move, and by shariah allah the family of the bride was paid an amount in gold nuggets for marrying their daughter to the other families son. Its really really old fashioned, but in general, if you dont have money and you live in the same neighborhood I used to live in, tough luck finding a woman that doesnt have a price on her head.

Written by Avenant on 12.03.2007 at 00:47

Written by [user id=20559] on 11.03.2007 at 23:28

@K7, I think living together and being married is definitely different. There is so much more responsibility to make things work and life is a lot more serious suddenly. Making money and financial issues are more important. Suddenly have to spend a lot more time with each other than anyone else.

But isn't that rather the point?

Yeah, marrige definitely isn't easy... spending a lot of time around anyone is no small task, and there's really no escaping responsibility in life anyway. If I really did feel like I could spend my life with someone else, I would do it.... but I would date them for a good few years at least ,and live with them as well. Life doesn't HAVE to be more serious when you're married, I know a lot of people get divorced these days, but that's the shit people hear about all the time....besides, It doesn't strike me as odd that the more fake people are, the more they get divorced (hollywood, anyone?)

Marrige is definitely not something to be taken lightly and rushed in to, but it isn't a prison sentence either (if you marry the right person) and hell, some people have made it through years of marrige just fine. And that's to be respected, I think. I'm for it.

Yeah I think it can work definitely but as I said earlier, it really depends on the situation. If you're in a relationship thats really good and seems to work well for you then maybe marriage is the way for you.

Well thats not always the point. I know many people who have got married mainly because they want children. If they didn't living together would have probably sufficed for them.

Written by Bad English on 11.03.2007 at 23:34

Written by [user id=20559] on 11.03.2007 at 23:28

@K7, I think living together and being married is definitely different. There is so much more responsibility to make things work and life is a lot more serious suddenly. Making money and financial issues are more important. Suddenly have to spend a lot more time with each other than anyone else.

I cant coment I duno, I shood feel it in real life and then I coud coment but IMO meriagge ist eaasyer, how being together, one of them say all are ower, but if thay are in meriagge its not so easy

Yes. Anyhow I agree with you on the point you made in your earlier post about making divorce harder. I mean hearing about the number of divorces occuring today is just pathetic. Its like there's nothing sacred left in marriage anymore.

Written by [user id=20559] on 13.03.2007 at 11:09

Written by Bad English on 11.03.2007 at 23:34

Written by [user id=20559] on 11.03.2007 at 23:28

@K7, I think living together and being married is definitely different. There is so much more responsibility to make things work and life is a lot more serious suddenly. Making money and financial issues are more important. Suddenly have to spend a lot more time with each other than anyone else.

I cant coment I duno, I shood feel it in real life and then I coud coment but IMO meriagge ist eaasyer, how being together, one of them say all are ower, but if thay are in meriagge its not so easy

Yes. Anyhow I agree with you on the point you made in your earlier post about making divorce harder. I mean hearing about the number of divorces occuring today is just pathetic. Its like there's nothing sacred left in marriage anymore.

Ye sbut devorce proces are anoying and can fuck your nervs, and all stuff after it its wierd feelings

I'm with , but now marriage is useless . Nobody wants to have children and divorces are very easy .

Why would somebody be against marriage?? I mean, everyone is free to decide whether get married or not, but we can't take a decision on everyone else's wish to get married or remain single. That's why I voted "With", and also because I would like someday get married

Written by Bitch Boy on 15.03.2007 at 05:58

Why would somebody be against marriage?? I mean, everyone is free to decide whether get married or not, but we can't take a decision on everyone else's wish to get married or remain single. That's why I voted "With", and also because I would like someday get married

I'd like to get married too

Well I think that marriage is more a perception thing for some people is something for others is something else. It really depends on the person like I think you don't necesarly have to sign some papers and marry at church to show that you love that person , but you do it as a symbolism of union, Marriage is forever if is with the right person , nowdays well I guess things are changing and people just get marry for fun or whatever but is more serious than that , and well me too I would like to get marry one day ..

Written by Icewings on 16.03.2007 at 04:33

Marriage is forever if is with the right person , nowdays well I guess things are changing and people just get marry for fun or whatever but is more serious than that , and well me too I would like to get marry one day ..

I agree it shood be whit wright person based on true love, and bout side shod be shore 100% shoore do it or no, seems now I understand why sex shood be after merriage

I believe everyone should choose to marry or not, obviously. Personally, i wont marry unless im obliged to or for burocratric reasons even. I wont marry to fulfill my mum's dream only. Besides i would have to be hipocritical to the point of being in a church listening to things i dont believe in and pretending i did.

Written by Dark Stalker on 14.03.2007 at 17:07

I'm with , but now marriage is useless . Nobody wants to have children and divorces are very easy .

I want to have children! It must be wonderful!

what the hell kind of thread is this?

Written by Bad English on 16.03.2007 at 13:40

Written by Icewings on 16.03.2007 at 04:33

Marriage is forever if is with the right person , nowdays well I guess things are changing and people just get marry for fun or whatever but is more serious than that , and well me too I would like to get marry one day ..

I agree it shood be whit wright person based on true love, and bout side shod be shore 100% shoore do it or no, seems now I understand why sex shood be after merriage

I can't understand your last point because, maybe that's just me, but I feel you have to experiment sex with the other to be "100% sure" as you said that it is the right person.

Otherwise I rather agree with Icewings' view of marriage (Well I think that marriage is more a perception thing for some people is something for others is something else. It really depends on the person like I think you don't necesarly have to sign some papers and marry at church to show that you love that person , but you do it as a symbolism of union, Marriage is forever if is with the right person), but I'm not so positive about the fact I'd lik to get married one day because it kinda frightens me... a lot

EDIT: and I didn't vote btw... Because the answer is far more complex than a yes or no IMO

@Sekhmet - I wanna say about sex, seems now I understand why in religion sex can be after merriage, if meariagge are bassed in true love, and ppl meary each other tehn tahy love, and then can be sex, othrvide what hepen whit child ifg he borns after one night stand

Than's God in my life such thinks didnt hepen, but about expermental sex, what you mean
Its those stuffs what i see in marc Dorcel movies if yes IMO preversion are ugly ...

Written by Bad English on 22.03.2007 at 00:07

.....Than's God in my life such thinks didnt hepen, but about expermental sex, what you mean
Its those stuffs what i see in marc Dorcel movies if yes IMO preversion are ugly ...

I see that Mr K7 know the directors of films of French authors

Written by White Winter Sun on 22.03.2007 at 00:31

Written by Bad English on 22.03.2007 at 00:07

.....Than's God in my life such thinks didnt hepen, but about expermental sex, what you mean
Its those stuffs what i see in marc Dorcel movies if yes IMO preversion are ugly ...

I see that Mr K7 know the directors of films of French authors

Hahahif we talk about porn I canw atch only early French and italian from early 90ties till 2001 when katsumi show up its not porn so early french porn are so close to real sex and women are ebautifull there too

We're getting faaaaaaaaar away from marriage here

@K7 : you may have had a point in medieval times but now we've got birth control which makes the problem of children quite unsignificant here. Of course accidents may happen... Anyway from the religious point of view you're right, I hadn't noticed you were talking about religion :