Metal Storm Anthology Awards

Written by: D.T. Metal
Published: 05.04.2014
Thanks for participating in our 10th Anniversary Anthology Awards voting. Of course by now you all (hopefully) figured out it was an April Fools' Day prank.

Some figured it out rather quickly, while others send a PM and called us nothing short of a waste of internet presence. I just hope we didn't lose him as a member. "Metal Storm you lost your touch. As soon as I checked out the nominees for the thrash metal category I was really disappointed you even considered Lulu in there. I won't be voting on this award."

Here are some other quotes:

Quick thinker:
Quote:
Took me much more time that I care to admit to realize that it what an april's fool...


Captain Obvious:
Quote:
This is a prank. Time 2 ain't even out yet and CoB in black metal?


Disgruntled Member:
Quote:
Awards are a great thing but I don't see any reason to make this kind of voting travesty. The alternatives suck big time and are in wrong categories. For example, how Children of Bodom is Black Metal and Dissection not? Sorry guys, I'm just really disappointed. I hope you could do a new vote with more and better candidates with possibility for write-in votes.


Give the man a cookie:
Quote:
Needs more Manowar.



But, since some of you took the time to cast your useless vote we thought to at least show you the results.


Black Metal:
Dimmu Borgir - Stormblåst MMV won by 13 votes over the "blackest of the black" Children Of Bodom's Blooddrunk.

  • Dimmu Borgir - Stormblåst MMV - 73 votes
  • Children Of Bodom - Blooddrunk - 60 votes
  • Semargl - Satanic Pop Metal - 55 votes
  • Burzum - From The Depths Of Darkness - 31 votes
  • Gorgoroth - Under The Sign Of Hell 2011 - 24 votes


    Death Metal:
    Even though we predicted SFU to "win" this category, you decided that the honor should go to Morbid Angel's Illud Divinum Insanus. Barnes is probably crying somewhere.

  • Morbid Angel - Illud Divinum Insanus - 75
  • Hypocrisy - Catch 22 - 64 votes
  • Six Feet Under - Graveyard Classics III - 27 votes
  • Cryptopsy - The Unspoken King - 24 votes
  • Brain Drill - Quantum Catastrophe - 13 votes


    Doom Metal:
    This one was pretty cut and dry with Anathema's Weather Systems beating the completion.

  • Anathema - Weather Systems - 67 votes
  • Swallow The Sun - Emerald Forest And The Blackbird - 56 votes
  • My Dying Bride - For Lies I Sire - 55 votes
  • Saint Vitus - Lillie: F-65 - 22 votes
  • Fangtooth - Fangtooth - 12 votes


    Folk Metal:
    And the clear winner in this category was Korpiklaani. And to our surprise, Karkelo won by 30 points.

  • Korpiklaani - Karkelo - 69 votes
  • Korpiklaani - Tales Along This Road - 39 votes
  • Korpiklaani - Voice Of Wilderness - 35 votes
  • Korpiklaani - Tervaskanto - 20 votes
  • Korpiklaani - Korven Kunangas - 17 votes


    Heavy / Melodic Metal:
    Ok, your choice wasn't all that bad and Nanowar Of Steel's Other Bands Play Nanowar Gay! won by a slim margin of 7 votes. Unfortunately one of our favorite, Manowar, came in fourth - what is WRONG with you people?

  • Nanowar Of Steel - Other Bands Play Nanowar Gay! - 53 votes
  • Lordi - Babez For Breakfast - 46 votes
  • Queensrÿche - Dedicated To Chaos - 41 votes
  • Manowar - Thunder In The Sky [EP] - 35 votes
  • Running Wild - Shadowmaker - 20 votes


    Melodeath / Extreme Power / Gothenburg Metal:
    You guys RULE and voted on Wintersun's Time II. But then again, the write-up said it all: "..we've made an executive decision that whatever eventually gets recorded, whenever it gets put out, will undoubtedly be so amazingly awesome that we've just cleared a spot for it in advance."

  • Wintersun - Time II - 112 votes
  • In Flames - A Sense Of Purpose - 44 votes
  • Arch Enemy - Khaos Legions - 35 votes
  • Dissection - Reinkaos - 30 votes
  • Norther - Circle Regenerated - 13 votes


    Power Metal:
    Right on target with selecting the wankers of DragonForce with their Ultra Beatdown masterpiece.

  • DragonForce - Ultra Beatdown - 65 votes
  • Helloween - Chameleon - 43 votes
  • Stratovarius - Stratovarius - 37 votes
  • Sonata Arctica - Stones Grow Her Name - 34 votes
  • HammerFall - Infected - 30 votes


    Progressive Metal:
    Also winning by 68 points was Metallica's Master Of Puppets over Nevermore's The Obsidian Conspiracy. We actually got complimented on acknowledging that the "puppets" album really IS progressive.

  • Metallica - Master Of Puppets - 114 votes
  • Nevermore - The Obsidian Conspiracy - 46 votes
  • Dream Theater - A Dramatic Turn Of Events - 42 votes
  • Geoff Tate's Queensrÿche - Frequency Unknown - 25 votes
  • !T.O.O.H.! - Democratic Solution - 16 votes


    Thrash Metal:
    Again, the mighty 'Tallica also won in this category with their album of the decade Lulu. I don't know how Scott Ian felt about Anthrax's Worship Music coming in 76 votes behind Metallica.

  • Metallica - Lulu - 121 votes
  • Anthrax - Worship Music - 45 votes
  • Trivium - The Crusade - 36 votes
  • Megadeath - Supper Collider - 28 votes
  • Shadows Fall - Fallout From The War - 11 votes



    But, all kidding aside now. We actually will bring you a REAL 10th Anniversary Edition of the Metal Storm Awards sometime soon. Stay tuned!




     



    Written on 05.04.2014 by
    D.T. Metal
    Editor-in-Chief

    Professional concertgoer ... dangerously armed with a camera!
    More articles by D.T. Metal ››




  • Comments

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    Comments: 31  
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    Cynic Metalhead - 05.04.2014 at 22:20  
    Well, image of Metal Storm Anthology Awards is utter blasphemous and offending. That not only kills my serious participation in this awards but you disrespected my votes for every cat. Look how funny in the way it was introduced. C'mon!

    I never cared for 1st April bug bit if you guys really been planning to pull off the prank, it shoudn't be done like this. :anger:
    BloodTears - 05.04.2014 at 22:46  
    Korpiklaani won? Hell...

    Also, need to say I voted for Nanowar Of Steel.
    Curumir - 06.04.2014 at 00:07  
    Still disappointed that "Weather Systems" was considered a "bad" album...
    Troy Killjoy - 06.04.2014 at 00:26  
    Written by Curumir on 06.04.2014 at 00:07
    Still disappointed that "Weather Systems" was considered a "bad" album...

    Not so much bad as it was not in the right section. Kind of a dig at how people still refer to Anathema as doom metal.
    fandango68 - 06.04.2014 at 00:29  
    Well, I'm a newbie to these hallowed portals and am therefore not familiar with the 'editorial stance' (for this, read levels of tomfoolery) the Admin Team on MS tend to take here, but...

    all I'll say is very well done! being an old crusty, I did tend to spot it fairly quickly (the presence of 'Geoff Tate's Queensryche' was rather suspicious ) but it was very humorous and well put together... certainly made my morning!!

    of course your reward for this are the abusive emails/posts you get in response... the more you get will mean two things: either a) the prank was well constructed or b) the average forum member has the IQ of a sea urchin. Of course we all know it's because of the former...

    KUDOS to you all!!
    Troy Killjoy - 06.04.2014 at 00:29  
    Written by Cynic Metalhead on 05.04.2014 at 22:20
    I never cared for 1st April bug bit if you guys really been planning to pull off the prank, it shoudn't be done like this. :anger:

    I'll let Ivan know to give you the right permissions so you can run the pranks from here on out.
    D.T. Metal - 06.04.2014 at 01:51  
    Written by Cynic Metalhead on 05.04.2014 at 22:20

    Well, image of Metal Storm Anthology Awards is utter blasphemous and offending. That not only kills my serious participation in this awards but you disrespected my votes for every cat. Look how funny in the way it was introduced. C'mon!

    I never cared for 1st April bug bit if you guys really been planning to pull off the prank, it shoudn't be done like this. :anger:

    Like what this? Like this article You DO know that this here is just the aftermath of the voting we had a couple days ago, right? Hold on, didn't someone mention sea urchin earlier?

    Lighten up dude
    AngelofDeth - 06.04.2014 at 02:08  
    Those reactions are hilarious!
    Cynic Metalhead - 06.04.2014 at 09:49  
    Written by D.T. Metal on 06.04.2014 at 01:51

    Written by Cynic Metalhead on 05.04.2014 at 22:20

    Well, image of Metal Storm Anthology Awards is utter blasphemous and offending. That not only kills my serious participation in this awards but you disrespected my votes for every cat. Look how funny in the way it was introduced. C'mon!

    I never cared for 1st April bug bit if you guys really been planning to pull off the prank, it shoudn't be done like this. :anger:

    Like what this? Like this article You DO know that this here is just the aftermath of the voting we had a couple days ago, right? Hold on, didn't someone mention sea urchin earlier?

    Lighten up dude


    Dear Mam

    You need to work on this.

    Zaphod - 06.04.2014 at 19:15  
    Dang, I missed it.
    LordHypnos - 06.04.2014 at 21:15  
    Damn, Semargl lost.
    rpsgc - 06.04.2014 at 23:53  
    Cookie? Cookie! Where's my cookie?

    Hmm... cookie
    Troy Killjoy - 07.04.2014 at 04:38  
    Written by Cynic Metalhead on 06.04.2014 at 09:49
    You need to work on this.

    Considering your command of the English language, I think it's unfair to assume we should all understand the difference between the serious Cynic and the sarcastic Cynic. Just sayin'.
    D.T. Metal - 07.04.2014 at 05:19  
    Written by Troy Killjoy on 07.04.2014 at 04:38

    Written by Cynic Metalhead on 06.04.2014 at 09:49
    You need to work on this.

    Considering your command of the English language, I think it's unfair to assume we should all understand the difference between the serious Cynic and the sarcastic Cynic. Just sayin'.

    Took the words right out of my mouth
    Cynic Metalhead - 07.04.2014 at 08:21  
    It's wasn't unfair, it's clear cut.

    My post was in "April prank" article and have never shown any rage against (any)award. You really don't have to waste your time to analyze (both sides of)me. :p

    It's hilarious to see how D.T. retorted and defended her.
    Troy Killjoy - 07.04.2014 at 08:35  
    Written by Cynic Metalhead on 07.04.2014 at 08:21
    ...

    You're making something out of nothing. Sarcasm is rarely obvious online, especially when the person posting is you - for reasons already stated.
    M C Vice - 07.04.2014 at 10:55  
    Will the nominees in the real awards be all the past winners (and maybe some that lost by 1 or 2 votes)?

    Written by Troy Killjoy on 07.04.2014 at 08:35

    Sarcasm is rarely obvious online,

    Needs to be a font type or something for sarcasm. {do these brackets mean anything?} _or these?_
    Troy Killjoy - 07.04.2014 at 12:42  
    Written by M C Vice on 07.04.2014 at 10:55
    Needs to be a font type or something for sarcasm.

    There is - reverse italics. Metal Storm doesn't support the font though.
    Migtanteot - 08.04.2014 at 00:50  
    Is Fool´s day on April around the world ?
    In any case, I thought it was a joke so didn´t pay so much atention
    Zadion - 08.04.2014 at 02:41  
    This is ridiculous! This is a travesty! This is an ABOMINATION! Emerald Forest and the Blackbird is in the doom category as if it's not actually a doom album! I will not stand for this!

    BTW, I've seen some (albeit it's a rare few) who think CoB is more melodic black metal than they are melodic death metal. Not that I agree, but still.
    Mattybu - 08.04.2014 at 06:17  
    I think the CoB album was the most genius because it sucks as an album and was in the wrong category. double whammy
    Warman - 08.04.2014 at 15:47  
    Oh yeah! Can't wait for the "REAL 10th Anniversary Edition of the Metal Storm Awards"!
    deadone - 09.04.2014 at 04:43  
    I was so appalled by these awards I slit my own throat with a rusty butter knife and bled out like a pig.


    And then it turns out it was a joke.


    Fuck you Metalstorm. I'm dead cause of you and cause I committed suicide, I'm stuck in fucking hell eating turd burgers and smoking Satan pole.
    Fallen Ghost - 09.04.2014 at 08:28  
    Semargl needed to win, it is the blackest blackmetal ever
    Reverend X - 10.04.2014 at 09:13  
    Their were pranks pulled off before I should have known. Still too naive even though nominees are ridiculous.
    LeChron James - 11.04.2014 at 09:49  
    PUT A QUARTER IN YA ASS CUZ YA PLAYED YASELF, THAT'S WHATCHU GOTTA DO.
    deadone - 11.04.2014 at 09:53  
    I'm surprised people actually did fall for this.


    But then I guess people from non-Anglo Saxon cultures have probably not heard of April's Fools Day.
    Karlabos - 11.04.2014 at 15:33  
    Written by deadone on 11.04.2014 at 09:53

    I'm surprised people actually did fall for this.


    But then I guess people from non-Anglo Saxon cultures have probably not heard of April's Fools Day.

    Well, we have it here in Brazil.
    Ozman - 15.04.2014 at 13:25  
    Written by deadone on 11.04.2014 at 09:53

    But then I guess people from non-Anglo Saxon cultures have probably not heard of April's Fools Day.


    April Fools Day isn't limited to Anglo Saxon culture. It's widely spread all over Europe and not because of Anglo-Saxon Culture (it's not like Valentine's/Hallmark/Floral day in that respect.). Although not all countries have it on April 1.
    Darkside Momo - 15.04.2014 at 14:02  
    Written by Ozman on 15.04.2014 at 13:25

    Written by deadone on 11.04.2014 at 09:53

    But then I guess people from non-Anglo Saxon cultures have probably not heard of April's Fools Day.


    April Fools Day isn't limited to Anglo Saxon culture. It's widely spread all over Europe and not because of Anglo-Saxon Culture (it's not like Valentine's/Hallmark/Floral day in that respect.). Although not all countries have it on April 1.

    Indeed! It's quite a vivid tradition in France For kids mostly, but not only - our news webzines do pull out pranks too
    Bugman - 30.06.2014 at 11:33  
    I actually thought that the "Lulu" thing was way too revealing about the purpose of this vote. And if any doubts subsided, the whole Korpiklaani cathegory. Or... Really, people need to learn how to read better. And then vote accordingly!

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