Getting Stoked For The New Tool Album


Written by: Thryce
Published: 16.04.2010


It's official. Tool are working on a new album.







I did my happy-chicken-dance in the front yard, creeping out the neighborhood once again, and was just about to publish a news article, but then...


But then my bubble of excitement was burst a little when I found out this information isn't really new. The band revealed the info in a newsletter back in March, yet somehow the word never got through to the news office of the Metal Storm Staff treehouse, because...


    1) For some obscure reason, nobody gives a fuck about Tool anymore... And I didn't get the memo.
    2) In this time of age, with all the MySpace'ing, Facebook'ing and Twitter'ing, nobody gives a fuck about official band sites anymore.
    3) Everybody was busy being lazy/masturbating/listening to stuff-way-better-than-Tool that is too awesome to be bothered to send in the news.


So yeah, I had to hear this from MetalSucks for fudge cake, which is about the last metal-related website of the entire internet to get the news while it's still hot.


Anyway, in short, the guys from Tool have decided to write some new material for their fifth studio release... and that's about the best idea I heard all year. In said newsletter - which was obviously written when the acid was just kicking in - it is announced that the three minstrels of Tool sit down together in whatever wild place they write their music at least three times a week, and that nightingale Maynard James Keenan will join them as soon as the Puscifer tour is finished - which is right about last week.


This means that, while I'm busy writing a huge pile of bullshit, somewhere out there Tool are writing new tunes for the successor of 2006's - and, for what it's worth, Grammy Award-winning - 10,000 Days. Pretty exciting, huh.


I don't want to sound like a rabid, drooling fanboy here, but this will probably be nothing short of astounding. I mean, I highly doubt the band is working on their first not-awesome record in, uhm, pretty much ever. Fairly sure it'll be so amazing it will blow that Europe-sized volcanic ash cloud right out of the stratosphere in no time.


Fairly sure it will also take a long while until I can have sweet passionate sex with this album add the album to my CD collection. An early summer release for next year is pretty workable - quite possibly it'll be early 2012 though.


The band also talks about a possible US mini-tour this summer and some other off the wall ramblings I'm not drunk enough for to understand. If you like reading Dan Brown mysteries, head over to this location to read the full message.


All the rest can wet their pants in enjoyment one more time while I recapitulate: a new Tool album is coming its way.



 


Comments

Comments: 29   Visited by: 349 users
16.04.2010 - 17:56
BitterCOld
Gringo
Lols. i am stoked as well. didn't forget about them, but since they've taken to releasing albums iwth the frequency in which Halley's Comet passes the earth, i just put an appointment in February of 2068 in my crackberry to remind me to check their page for updates.
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get the fuck off my lawn.
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16.04.2010 - 17:57
soadbyob
Account deleted
FUCKIN YES!! Tool is fuckin EPIC, Im totaly stoked for the new album!
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16.04.2010 - 19:41
Thought.
A Dying God
Those newsletters are sometimes so convoluted and strange that information like this hides well between the pages.

I can't fucking wait!
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There is no God but the one that dies with me. I have no life but the one I take with me to the grave. We come into this world alone. And we will die on our own. I live. I die. Ain Elohim.
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16.04.2010 - 19:51
Introspekrieg
Totemic Lust
Quote:
it shouldn't be long before the dry-erase board is filled with a bewildering array of color-coded intros, progressions, agitatos, con sordinos, crescendos, diatonics, inversions, resolutions, transitions, variations, obbligatos, consonance, and endings - the arrangements that millions will attempt to down-load off the internet.


They really ought to release that decoy album they keep threatening us with, throw everyone off the scent. I think the reason no one has mentioned it is because if you look at Tool's track record you will see that all they want to do is fuck with their fans by spreading misinformation. I check Toolband every couple of days but rarely get any worthwhile updates without having to interpret some kind of coded message.
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16.04.2010 - 20:13
addiction
These are great news! Funnily enough I read about this today on the metal hammer website and wondered how come I didn't see it here earlier...!

You know I actually searched it a bit to see if this was true, because it sounded too good to be!

Also i check Tool's website frequently as well but just missed the information i guess....The way I see it, they release an album every 5 years, so 2011 should be the year for the next album, and it probably will be!

These are band news of the year for me so far! Thank you for the info!!!
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alive in the superunknown
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16.04.2010 - 20:14
Pazuzu88
Pazuzu
I CANT WAIT ALL THAT LONG ,,
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16.04.2010 - 21:04
oroboros
Stoked outta my balls!!!
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16.04.2010 - 21:23
Vitriolic Hate
Chaos Reaper
Cool news!!
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16.04.2010 - 21:40
ylside
Ah, awesome news. I just got into them seriously last year, been knowing them for ages but for some reason never really care to check them out more deeply lol.
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16.04.2010 - 22:11
Roro
I like thier album covers :p
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17.04.2010 - 17:01
meddle
Fuck ya if only this album was coming sooner but still awesome
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mr.chips
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17.04.2010 - 19:27
Introspekrieg
Totemic Lust
I heard the next cover is going to be some naked chick, probably Milla Jovovich. Just so everyone knows they aren't fags...
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17.04.2010 - 22:05
oroboros
^^ gud to know dat..
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18.04.2010 - 06:01
demontrooper
How is Danny Carey? I thought he was going through rehab after being struck in the hand by a stingray a year ago...
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18.04.2010 - 16:42
benvolent
Written by demontrooper on 18.04.2010 at 06:01

How is Danny Carey? I thought he was going through rehab after being struck in the hand by a stingray a year ago...

Hahaha, what an odd rumour! Hahaha!
But I guess he is fine, if they work on a new album..
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The struggle to free myself of restraints, becomes my very shackles
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19.04.2010 - 04:33
Kap'N Korrupt
Account deleted
A new album...well, I haven't forgot about Tool...I'm awaiting a new album by them...
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20.04.2010 - 07:53
INÆRIS
Love this band, but one album every four years is pretty lame. I hope it's worth it. 10,000 days was pretty incredible
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Still Life, Still Death
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28.04.2010 - 08:26
BudDa
I was expecting an album out this year!! They have taken the 4year wait to now 6yrs(thats if the album is to be release in 2012). I really don't know why they do that..
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Freeze! Step away from the hubris.
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13.05.2010 - 04:22
+{Jonas}+
I R Serious Cat
Once they release it, the world will end. That's why the mayans said the end of the world will be in 2012, because this album will be so incredibly awesome it will destroy the world.
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"Nobody wants to be the weird kid, you just end up being the weird kid. You don't know how you ended up getting there" - Rob Zombie

http://jonas-bs.deviantart.com My dA, mainly photography, go check it out!
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13.05.2010 - 08:29
Introspekrieg
Totemic Lust
Written by +{Jonas}+ on 13.05.2010 at 04:22

Once they release it, teh world will end. That's why the mayans said the end of the world will be in 2012, because this album will be so incredibly awesome it will destroy the world.


Talk about high expectations... when will it end? The first time it is played in full? Or on the release date?
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13.05.2010 - 09:55
BitterCOld
Gringo
Written by Introspekrieg on 13.05.2010 at 08:29

Written by +{Jonas}+ on 13.05.2010 at 04:22

Once they release it, teh world will end. That's why the mayans said the end of the world will be in 2012, because this album will be so incredibly awesome it will destroy the world.


Talk about high expectations... when will it end? The first time it is played in full? Or on the release date?


when someone finally "cracks the code" like with the reordering of tracks on Lateralus based on the fibonacci sequence..

once someone unlocks that buried meaning, kablooey. only roaches, John Cusack, and Muslim holy sites will survive.
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get the fuck off my lawn.
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13.05.2010 - 15:39
+{Jonas}+
I R Serious Cat
Written by Introspekrieg on 13.05.2010 at 08:29

Written by +{Jonas}+ on 13.05.2010 at 04:22

Once they release it, teh world will end. That's why the mayans said the end of the world will be in 2012, because this album will be so incredibly awesome it will destroy the world.


Talk about high expectations... when will it end? The first time it is played in full? Or on the release date?


Deffinitely when they release it, it'll be so amazing noone will be ble to hear it because the sole sight of teh alum cover will blow everything away.
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"Nobody wants to be the weird kid, you just end up being the weird kid. You don't know how you ended up getting there" - Rob Zombie

http://jonas-bs.deviantart.com My dA, mainly photography, go check it out!
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06.07.2010 - 14:18
TheBigRossowski
Dudeist Priest'
Hit the nail on the head, man, this isn't news, but new shit comes to light for metalstormers...at least a decent portion of them.

Still funny though, I give you major kudos for that!

And if anyone else is interested aperfectcircle should be coming out with a new LP. I can only hope...
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That rug really tied the room together, did it not?
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23.09.2010 - 03:28
thatmetalhead666
Account deleted
Can you give me a HELL FUCKING YEAH?!
tool are my favourite band, and, in my opinion, one of the greatest things that ever happened in metal.
im so super pumped for this album, and you better be too, cause it'll be knocking your fucking socks off when it arrives.
\m/
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25.09.2010 - 22:26
XxGhostOfBodomxX
TOOL IS COOL DUDE
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17.10.2011 - 21:38
Introspekrieg
Totemic Lust
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10.10.2013 - 22:53
3rdWorld
The Psilosopher
Would Thryce still be checking out new Tool when it comes out?

[size=0.1]That is, assuming it ever comes out, fucking chinese democracy[size]
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10.10.2013 - 23:19
JohnDoe
Account deleted
Great band, no new music from them though, those are just rumors
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18.11.2013 - 02:02
Jiri
It's supposed to come out in 2014, but I am pessimistic.
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