Greatest Metal Video Ever... Satanic Black Metal Guest Edition
By popular, close to overwhelming demand we are hosting a Tr00 Satanic Black Metal edition of the infamous Greatest Metal Video Ever... Series. Here to take you on a journey to the world of raped goat corpses, shameless blasphemy and expressive panda make-up is your mistress of evil, Elodie Artour. Off we go!
The Black Satans - Satanic Darkness
Shot in the deepest darkest woods of Finland on a sunny summerday, The Black Satan's video has everything a black metal video needs: inverted crosses, an undisputed toughguy attitude, female slaves, evil facial expressions, partial nudity and a flag of Norway. Grimness; they're doing it right!
Reckless Tide - Kleemähendeäbte
The life of a black metal warrior sure is tough... or so this video implies. We all know those days when you wake up with tons of make-up and Hawaii shorts on, when it feels like the whole world - including that son of a bitch Superman - seems to be in your way. Add a wiseguy in a suit who has had his face painted, performing a line that could be described best as a mixture of Alphaville and HIM, whispering to a plush white tiger and an iceman trying to make a living... and what do you get? The perfect black metal video of course!
Dark Kirchensteuer - Leb' Doch Selber!
Acoustic black metal anyone? That sounds as absurd as eco spiritual black metal does, but respecting these musicians in the name of Satan is obligatory here. I bet every single black metal warrior dreams of the day he hangs himself on a forest tree with some acoustic black metal in the background, headbanging himself to death. Such an inspiring and romantic way to commit suicide... The only thing making this video somewhat ridiculous is the hippy drummer - then again, he sure as Hell fits perfectly with the band's style. And remember, the acoustic guitar - the Lord of Darkness seems to love it!
May Satan forgive me for making fun of his servants!
The Black Satans - Satanic Darkness
Shot in the deepest darkest woods of Finland on a sunny summerday, The Black Satan's video has everything a black metal video needs: inverted crosses, an undisputed toughguy attitude, female slaves, evil facial expressions, partial nudity and a flag of Norway. Grimness; they're doing it right!
Reckless Tide - Kleemähendeäbte
The life of a black metal warrior sure is tough... or so this video implies. We all know those days when you wake up with tons of make-up and Hawaii shorts on, when it feels like the whole world - including that son of a bitch Superman - seems to be in your way. Add a wiseguy in a suit who has had his face painted, performing a line that could be described best as a mixture of Alphaville and HIM, whispering to a plush white tiger and an iceman trying to make a living... and what do you get? The perfect black metal video of course!
Dark Kirchensteuer - Leb' Doch Selber!
Acoustic black metal anyone? That sounds as absurd as eco spiritual black metal does, but respecting these musicians in the name of Satan is obligatory here. I bet every single black metal warrior dreams of the day he hangs himself on a forest tree with some acoustic black metal in the background, headbanging himself to death. Such an inspiring and romantic way to commit suicide... The only thing making this video somewhat ridiculous is the hippy drummer - then again, he sure as Hell fits perfectly with the band's style. And remember, the acoustic guitar - the Lord of Darkness seems to love it!
May Satan forgive me for making fun of his servants!
Comments
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| KwonVerge Odysseus Elite Posts: 5068  |
Three words come to mind, cvlt, tr00, krieg, ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!  Cool thingies nevertheless, enjoyed most the first one, the third one was the most necro due to the old school production 
---- Dec. 30, 1334. ...And the whiskey and wine entered our veins when blood was too weak to carry on.
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| Lucas Mr. Noise Elite Posts: 13427  |
Why is this one of my favourite genres again?
---- SLUDGE. DOOM. DEATH. Wait, what?  "The reason I'm running for president is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen." - Barack Obama
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| vezzy Stallmanite Posts: 3493  |
Now that's
---- Licensed under the GPLv3. Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
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| Daniell _爱情_ Elite Posts: 6061  |
Written by Lucas on 03.10.2010 at 12:48 Because it yields to parody like nothing else It's one of my favourite genres too, if that's any comfort.
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| Entropic Silence Posts: 251  |
First one was the best - if only for the g-string.
---- VICTORY!!!!! (They love it in France)
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| Ellrohir Heaven Knight Posts: 8662  |
Thank you for reminding me Reckless Tide...they are awesome 
---- My rest seems now calm and deep Finally I got my dead man sleep 
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| Got Mayhem? Posts: 767  |
HAHA yes! I'd suggested The Black Satans awhile ago and I had feared they'd been passed over! Great shit
---- 
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| RavenKing Posts: 1941  |
Damn those bands and videos suck major ass. None of those bands are really Black Metal bands. Only a bunch of idiots turning BM in a retarded parody. There's no way I can consider this garbage as serious Black Metal. It's just pure humoristic crap not even funny in the end. Only fucking retarded. If you can't do something seriously, don't do it at all. Otherwise you only release pure shit.
---- They shake your hand and they smile and they buy you a drink They say we'll be your friends we'll stick with you till the end But everybody's only looking out for themselves And you say who can you trust I'll tell you nobody
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| batusay Posts: 25 |
That was so fukin awesome, i don't like death or black but the first 2 sound preety good  and also the videos are just ... incredible
---- Come inside and be afraid Of this impressive mess I've made If you take a look now you will find PERFECT INSANITY ___________________________________ In the end we're all just chalk lines on the concrete Drawn only to be washed away
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| Baz Anderson Staff Posts: 13237  |
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| Ellrohir Heaven Knight Posts: 8662 |
Written by RavenKing on 03.10.2010 at 17:01 they did serious black metal parody  and I'd suggest you to climb down from this mountaintop of trve kvlt necro grim elitism...life's being much happier down there
---- My rest seems now calm and deep Finally I got my dead man sleep
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| Ellrohir Heaven Knight Posts: 8662 |
Written by Guest on 03.10.2010 at 17:25 -1 
---- My rest seems now calm and deep Finally I got my dead man sleep
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| Elodie Artour Slania Posts: 1175  |
LOL I'm glad you like the videos, guys. @RavenKing: No one has forced you to watch these videos. I personally find them extremely hilarious and I don't fucking care whether these bands are "tr00" or not. Neither have I wanted to offend anyone. So, please, if you don't mind - let others, who enjoy them, in peace.
---- Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you...
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| RavenKing Posts: 1941 |
Written by Elodie Artour on 03.10.2010 at 19:21 I you people enjoy retarded things, fine. I prefer serious art to childish garbage.
---- They shake your hand and they smile and they buy you a drink They say we'll be your friends we'll stick with you till the end But everybody's only looking out for themselves And you say who can you trust I'll tell you nobody
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| Vombatus Potorro Posts: 2355  |
Hahaha, great videos. Last one is epic.... Is there something more kvlt than hang yourself AND headbang at the same time ? I'm pretty elitist for BM but sometimes it's better to take a laugh. And for haters, remember that all the parody videos you find in BM was born with (the tr00) Immortal and the best music video ever: Call of the Wintermoon
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| ArcanoXIII Posts: 15  |
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| Elodie Artour Slania Posts: 1175 |
@RavenKing: Dude, you've used a wrong word. It's called 'hilarious.' And if you're so damn serious, then just avoid all this 'garbage.' Just because some people wanted to create black metal parodies doesn't mean the whole genre sucks. In addition, I actually like black metal. The whole thing (this edition) was made for fun. Now, please, if you excuse me, I'm done convincing some 'serious person' in a totally UNserious thread.
---- Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you...
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| RavenKing Posts: 1941 |
Written by Vombatus on 03.10.2010 at 19:36 The difference is "Call Of The Wintermoon" is a real Black Metal song (and a very good one). Those 'songs' here are musical garbage. Also Immortal's video is really funny. The shit here is just lame.
---- They shake your hand and they smile and they buy you a drink They say we'll be your friends we'll stick with you till the end But everybody's only looking out for themselves And you say who can you trust I'll tell you nobody
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| RavenKing Posts: 1941 |
Written by Elodie Artour on 03.10.2010 at 19:48 I understand that you have nothing against the genre and that you don't take those videos seriously. It's just that, unlike me, you find this kind of stuff funny. I'm not angry at you for having started this thread. No hard feelings between us, I ensure you. I'm not angry at anyone. My comments only expressed my contempt for such things, not anger.
---- They shake your hand and they smile and they buy you a drink They say we'll be your friends we'll stick with you till the end But everybody's only looking out for themselves And you say who can you trust I'll tell you nobody
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| Ellrohir Heaven Knight Posts: 8662 |
It is so funny to see necro grim kvltists so seriously complaining about parody bands remember one wise quote - "you cannot take anything seriously, if you cannot make fun of it"
---- My rest seems now calm and deep Finally I got my dead man sleep
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| Elodie Artour Slania Posts: 1175 |
@Ellrohir: Finally someone to say something wise! Thank you! EDIT: Yes, I do laugh my ass of at these ones.
---- Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you...
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| vezzy Stallmanite Posts: 3493 |
I find it funny how he said he can't take this seriously. Captain Obvious to the rescue!
---- Licensed under the GPLv3. Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
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| Amonisis Posts: 19 |
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| King Ajax Posts: 32  |
Wow, this is awesome. Thanks for posting these! 
---- Metal Up Your Ass!
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| Culty Posts: 168  |
Oh, how i love black metal and how easy it is to make fun of it. 
---- Gfnttlr
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| Daggon Underpaid M.D. Posts: 1689  |
When I grow up, I'm going to marry Elodie hahaha. Thanks for this... things.
---- "Les vers savent qu'ils n'ont pas d'ailes, c'est pour cela qu'ils se cachent sous terre"
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| Derwood Posts: 511  |
The Reckless Tide video is pure awesome. The ability to laugh at ourselves is what keeps us sane.
---- You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!
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| Elodie Artour Slania Posts: 1175 |
LOL Awesome comments! @Derwood: I totally agree with you on that one. That's why I'm tired of fanboys and 'serious' people. @Daggon: We shall see, haha.
---- Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you...
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| moe5512 Posts: 501  |
You should watch the Black satans dude's other videos. They are hilarious (some of them are in finnish). he makes fun for example of black metal, finnish rock, rap, finnish english accent and so on
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| Thunderdrake Posts: 54  |
Wow, these videos pain my nonexistent soul. Funny though. /../
---- For Metal!!!
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