Band:	Norther
Album:	Circle Regenerated
Style:	Extreme power metal
Release date:	April 2011

01. Through It All
02. The Hate I Bear
03. Truth
04. Some Day
05. Break Myself Away
06. Believe
07. Falling
08. We Do Not Care
09. The Last Time
10. Closing In
11. New Beginning [Limited edition bonus]
12. Hear You Call My Name [Limited edition bonus]
13. Bimbo [Lambretta cover] [Limited edition bonus]

The first time I listened to this album I thought it was a joke, that I was being trolled by Century Media. That the copy I downloaded picked up at the record store was somehow defective. Then I picked up another copy and experienced the same problem. Uploaded Youtube tracks confirmed what a legally purchased album could not.

This shit is supposed to be taken seriously. The problem is, I take this about as seriously as watching a one-legged drunk hobo trying to masturbate in a dark alley while I suck back a bag of Skittles.

You're waiting for the part where I tell you why it's so bad. Fine. Once you sift through the serious shit that is out-of-place piano sections; incredibly amateurish clean vocals and godawful choir-like chants; monotonous, soulless screams; and extraordinary keyboard abuse, surprise surprise: You begin to question what it is about fecal matter that you find inescapably erotic. Then you wonder how you managed to pull off listening to Circle Regenerated in its entirety even once.

Just like extreme power metal poster boys Children Of Bodom, these Finns focus primarily on the simplest of song structures. The sad thing is, they don't even do that well. Every song manages to sound sloppy in one way or another: too few ideas are presented and then those are run into the ground in a directionless suicidal free-fall. Or is free-falling a directly downward direction...? Sorry, I was almost philosophizing in a Norther review. Won't happen again.

The most difficult thing to explain about this album is what it's supposed to be or do. I mean, apparently the musicians feel they have at least a shred of dignity and take themselves seriously enough to release new material like this, so you've gotta assume it's not a parody. The overall light-hearted nature (that would be its overwhelming cheese factor) eliminates any potential aggression, while the lackadaisical riffs don't even give you any chance to headbang. For all intents and purposes... there aren't any. It just seems like a release for the sake of a release.