Metal Storm - April Fools!
WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU?
Well, we hope you enjoyed yesterday's hijinks. While we are looking to raise enough revenue through advertising to cover operating costs, by no means would we turn into a metal-oriented adult website and the redirection to our new url, MetalPorn.net was just an April Fool's goof.
As usual, we had the jackwagons who figured it out early and had to post "look at the date!' bright and early on the news thread to ruin the fun rather than just play along. We're also sorry if we inconvenienced any of you with the NSFW images and sounds of yesterday's merry prank. To the one angry user who pm'd BitterCOld in all caps and curses that he was suspended from school when the teacher walked by his desk and heard the screaming female orgasm and braying donkey sounds looped over death metal riffing.... we'd feel bad for you, but hey, you should not have been visiting the site in class.
To the users that played along, we hope you had as much fun with it as we did. And when we said "SHOW ME YOUR DANGERZONES!" we were just kidding. There is not enough booze at the bar to scorch some of the images you sent us from our (now permanently scarred) brains.
And rest assured, the images of "The Devil's Threeway", featuring Marcel and Doc Godin banging Jasmine St. Claire on top of a T-34 tank in an abandoned steel mill were just photoshopped. They really made her airtight on a used mattress in front of a green screen in a lot in Van Nuys, California. As if we could afford tank rental? And yes, Marcel's washboard abs were absolutely real and in no way the product of digital manipulation. Same goes for Doc's superfluous 3rd nipple.
We are also sorry to say for you pervy fapsters, the dream is dead. The installment of Ms Wintersoul's sex advice column/blog, Moan Like Mora, entitled "A Metal Maiden's Masterful Mutual Masturbation Maneuvers Mapped Out", is the one and only entry of this blog, and has since been scrubbed from the internet in the name of common decency. Even teh interw3bs was not ready for smut this ribald and naughty. And while some of us might have lol'd at your dangerzone pics, she didn't find them so amusing. She'll be posting them up on metalfanswithlaughablysmallcocks.org shortly. Pun intended.
So with that is back to normal, with the naughtiest/raciest things on the site being greased up men in loin cloths on album covers and ascii penii in the shout box.
Hope it was as good for you as it was for us!
- The MetalStorm Team
Well, we hope you enjoyed yesterday's hijinks. While we are looking to raise enough revenue through advertising to cover operating costs, by no means would we turn into a metal-oriented adult website and the redirection to our new url, MetalPorn.net was just an April Fool's goof.
As usual, we had the jackwagons who figured it out early and had to post "look at the date!' bright and early on the news thread to ruin the fun rather than just play along. We're also sorry if we inconvenienced any of you with the NSFW images and sounds of yesterday's merry prank. To the one angry user who pm'd BitterCOld in all caps and curses that he was suspended from school when the teacher walked by his desk and heard the screaming female orgasm and braying donkey sounds looped over death metal riffing.... we'd feel bad for you, but hey, you should not have been visiting the site in class.
To the users that played along, we hope you had as much fun with it as we did. And when we said "SHOW ME YOUR DANGERZONES!" we were just kidding. There is not enough booze at the bar to scorch some of the images you sent us from our (now permanently scarred) brains.
And rest assured, the images of "The Devil's Threeway", featuring Marcel and Doc Godin banging Jasmine St. Claire on top of a T-34 tank in an abandoned steel mill were just photoshopped. They really made her airtight on a used mattress in front of a green screen in a lot in Van Nuys, California. As if we could afford tank rental? And yes, Marcel's washboard abs were absolutely real and in no way the product of digital manipulation. Same goes for Doc's superfluous 3rd nipple.
We are also sorry to say for you pervy fapsters, the dream is dead. The installment of Ms Wintersoul's sex advice column/blog, Moan Like Mora, entitled "A Metal Maiden's Masterful Mutual Masturbation Maneuvers Mapped Out", is the one and only entry of this blog, and has since been scrubbed from the internet in the name of common decency. Even teh interw3bs was not ready for smut this ribald and naughty. And while some of us might have lol'd at your dangerzone pics, she didn't find them so amusing. She'll be posting them up on metalfanswithlaughablysmallcocks.org shortly. Pun intended.
So with that is back to normal, with the naughtiest/raciest things on the site being greased up men in loin cloths on album covers and ascii penii in the shout box.
Hope it was as good for you as it was for us!
- The MetalStorm Team
Comments
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| Unhealer Eclecticist Posts: 2311  |
Aprilfoolsception? If not, I missed all of this  Either way... Quote: Epic.
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| M C Vice ex-polydactyl Posts: 3353  |
Where was this anouncement? Never saw anything about it. So Marcel's belly is covered in metal rings, eh. Didn't think he was into that sort of thing.
---- "Another day, another Doug." "I'll fight you on one condition. That you lower your nipples." " 'Tis a lie! Thy backside is whole and ungobbled, thou ungrateful whelp!"
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| vezzy Stallmanite Posts: 3493  |
Nice one guys, I really fell for it this time, I though some of you were really having a great time there  EDIT: Ooooh, power metal...
---- Licensed under the GPLv3. Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
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| InnerSelf proofread free Posts: 2641  |
Obvious April fool is obvious 
---- He who is not bold enough to be stared at from across the abyss is not bold enough to stare into it himself.
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| AngelofDeth Cyborg Raptor Posts: 1183  |
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| Risto Wandering Midget Posts: 1115  |
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| ANGEL REAPER Posts: 3687  |
Ok what the hell happened ? i missed everything...
---- "Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..." "Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts" 
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| Graveheart Posts: 1543  |
What do you mean you missed everything? Where were you yesterday then? I saw all this happen.
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| ANGEL REAPER Posts: 3687 |
Written by Graveheart on 01.04.2012 at 12:51 i was here and saw nothing....
---- "Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..." "Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
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| vezzy Stallmanite Posts: 3493 |
Spy sappin' mah original post.
---- Licensed under the GPLv3. Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
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| Paradox0 Unasuming Madnes Posts: 592 |
This feel more like a mindfuck than an april fools joke  If only we could mask users names with other members' names of metalstorm. Now that would be some grade A hijinks.
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18276  |
Oh man I won't be able to see llamas the same way again, that small entry of metal sexy animals that Troy posted was way too much. That poor moose. Definitely one of the best this site has done.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Aetherius Posts: 219  |
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| PocketMetal Posts: 750 |
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| Fredd Account deleted |
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| Milena gloom cookie Staff Posts: 4603  |
For all my sisters that enjoyed my blog entry and want more, don't worry, I'll find a new home for it in some place where people aren't too stuck up to admit persons of female persuasion have a right to enjoy themselves and ask their fellow womyn for advice. I really thought this was for real and I'm disappointed in my Staff/Elite colleagues for pranking me like this, but I guess it was too good to be true. Power to the grrls! Rise up against the oppression. And for all you lads who used the advice email I listed to send me pictures of your junk... yeah, you just think Doc is kidding about the site. I expect to have it up and running by the end of this day.
---- 7.0 means the album is good
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| Boxcar Willy yr a kook Posts: 8983  |
Written by Milena on 01.04.2012 at 14:36 Don't know if serious... Or Trolling.
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| 3rdWorld China was a neat Posts: 4367  |
I think my hangover served me well. I heard Mora's blog was as bad as youtube porn. 
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| Draugen Posts: 499  |
I must admit that you managed to fool me more than once yesterday... Now I feel stupid. 
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| DragonSavior X10 Posts: 111  |
My reaction http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/106/970/EPIC%20FACE.jpg
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| Alex F Slick Dick Rick Posts: 3502  |
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| Unhealer Eclecticist Posts: 2311 |
Now that I entered the forum I actually understand what this is all about.
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| Lit. Account deleted |
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| strade Posts: 677  |
Written by Milena on 01.04.2012 at 14:36 Imma be your most avid, fanatical reader ever, Mora! 
---- My lo-fi synth project: http://luciddreamer.bandcamp.com
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| strade Posts: 677 |
Oh and on a completely unrelated note, my new #1 might be of interest to you guys. The greatest album ever has jumped into the future to arrive in 2012... No, seriously!: http://www.metalstorm.net/users/list.php?list_id=2004
---- My lo-fi synth project: http://luciddreamer.bandcamp.com
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| Angelic Storm Melodious Posts: 6675  |
I was on here yesterday, and never saw any of that.... thank goodness!
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| strade Posts: 677 |
Written by Boxcar Willy on 01.04.2012 at 15:37 Why, you worried about something Willy?
---- My lo-fi synth project: http://luciddreamer.bandcamp.com
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| pyrz Posts: 88 |
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| -DC-002- Mastercommander Posts: 1703  |
One of the more perverted and awkward Metal storm April fools yet. Good job upping your game guys 
---- Coldgrits
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