Eternal September - Your Computer Lies review



Reviewer:
3.5

3 users:
2.33
Band: Eternal September
Album: Your Computer Lies
Release date: 2010


01. Fly On The Wall [Miley Cyrus cover]
02. Piss On Me [Britney Spears cover]
03. Diva [Beyoncé cover]
04. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover]
05. I Can't Get You Out Of My Head [Kylie Minogue cover]
06. My Love [Justin Timberlake cover]
07. Circus [Britney Spears cover]
08. Diva [Beyoncé cover] [Remix version]
09. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover] [Remix version]
10. Circus [Britney Spears cover] [Alternate version]
11. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover] [Belzebass Remix version]
12. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover] [IKKI Remix version]
13. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover] [Ercole And His Brother Remix version]


Pop metal
Sweden
Hell Yeah! Records

Line-up on the CD:
Stephen Hills - vocals
James Nayler - vocals
Purple Tentacle - guitar
Bernard Bernoulli - bass
Hoagie - drums


Pop metal. That's right - pop metal. Not the kind of pop metal that Iron Maiden play (i.e. popular metal), but metalized pop music. Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake (all words, er, names you wouldn't expect - or want - to appear in a review featured on a metal webzine) are all covered on Eternal September's auspicious debut, Your Computer Lies.

The band is giving their fans plenty of time to wait for the physical release of the album, which will make its apparently "highly anticipated" appearance in the early stages of December 2012. As in 2 full years from now. Until then, however, one can make their way over to the band's official website and simply download the album in its entirety, with the option to donate some pocket change to the band members for their efforts. Never one to dissuade audiences from paying their respects to their favorite bands, I will encourage everyone to drop a dime or two into these Swedes' hats.

Anyway, the music. If the tracklist wasn't enough of a tell, these guys aren't exactly your typical metal band are a mockery of Children Of Bodom's Skeletons In The Closet compilation and Six Feet Under's Graveyard Classics trilogy, both already more than mockeries in their own respects. The songs aren't much different from their original versions, with the noted exception of heavy guitars and hardcore vocals that alternate between upbeat raspy screams and nasally clean passages. Easily the worst of the bunch is Britney's "Piece Of Me", which has been aptly renamed "Piss On Me". This song sounds like how one would feel after draining a urinal cake into their mouth, especially with its "humorous" high-pitch narration about halfway through. Perhaps a coincidence, the only track comparable in terms of unadulterated annoyance is "Circus", yet another Britney Spears cover. Atrocious at best.

Not much of a surprise is how none of the songs manage to go anywhere, partly a fault of the original songwriters, but also partially the band's fault for not including enough personality (or, come to think of it, maybe too much personality). The Lady Gaga worship gets out of hand, as "Just Dance" is played a harrowing five (5) times, all different from each other, yet none any better than the others. If you like sped-up pop music with guitars and a mix of harsh and clean vocals, this comes highly recommended.

My verdict? These guys are Triple A musicians! Awful, Annoying, and Abrasive. Avoid at all costs (including donations).


Rating breakdown
Performance: 4
Songwriting: 3
Originality: 2
Production: 6


 



Written on 30.06.2010 by Just another opinionated guy telling you what to listen to.


Comments page 2 / 2

Comments: 39   Visited by: 199 users
01.09.2010 - 13:48
vezzy
Stallmanite
Written by Guest on 01.09.2010 at 13:46

Ironic, I thought Pop and metal are contradicting? Wow.


Like I said, they aren't.

Also glam metal power ballads count.
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01.09.2010 - 13:53
Wishmaster
Account deleted
Glam metal is an exception.
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01.09.2010 - 13:56
vezzy
Stallmanite
As is Lost Horizon and all that cheesy European power schlock in general.
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04.09.2010 - 05:47
Wishmaster
Account deleted
Not all the European power schlock are cheesy. Some are and some are not.
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12.09.2010 - 20:04
Zombie
Thrash'tillDeath
So, the world WILL really end on 12/12/2012 when this album is released ... damn the mayans !!
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None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free
Johann Wolfgang van Goethe 1749-1832
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09.01.2012 - 02:10
Boxcar Willy
yr a kook
Oh... dear... god...


so what did the band have to say about your review?
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forever bummed out
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09.01.2012 - 03:13
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Written by Boxcar Willy on 09.01.2012 at 02:10
so what did the band have to say about your review?

On their Facebook page, they said they appreciated the fact that I actually spent time listening to it and writing about it instead of just being a bitch because I didn't like what I was hearing. They commended my professionalism and said they weren't expecting a good review anyway, but they thanked me for my time.

Made me feel slightly less annoyed with this... but not really.
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Prettier than BloodTears.
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09.01.2012 - 03:15
Boxcar Willy
yr a kook
Written by Troy Killjoy on 09.01.2012 at 03:13

Written by Boxcar Willy on 09.01.2012 at 02:10
so what did the band have to say about your review?

On their Facebook page, they said they appreciated the fact that I actually spent time listening to it and writing about it instead of just being a bitch because I didn't like what I was hearing. They commended my professionalism and said they weren't expecting a good review anyway, but they thanked me for my time.

Made me feel slightly less annoyed with this... but not really.

lol, I thought they might have flipped out and called you names
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forever bummed out
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06.06.2012 - 04:03
Hendrikse
Account deleted
Hmm interesting, I think when it comes to 'Metallized' Pop covers I'll stick to Ten Masked Men. Their 'You Spin Me Right Round' cover is just awesome!
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