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Scott Kelly - Admits To Abuse, Retires From Music


Scott Kelly, most well known as founding vocalist/guitarist of Neurosis, has publicly admitted to verbally and physically abusing his wife and children, and that he would permanently retire from music. You can read the entire statement below, as well as some related statements.

The statement: "Due to recent events, I feel that I clearly need to address some rumors and set the record straight. For the past several years I have engaged in the emotional, financial, verbal and physical abuse of my wife and younger children. When I became paranoid that people were going to find out, I found ways to keep my wife and kids from work and school and created divisions with friends and family members. I became obsessed with control and used threats, manipulation, threats of self-harm and suicide, inflicted physical damage on people and their reputations all to keep that control. When I knew my wife was going to leave I tried to convince her and others that I was crazy, and seeing things, and that I did not know what I was doing. She tried to help me with therapy and psychiatrists. My lies and deceptions fell apart in front of the professionals. When my wife finally tried to leave, I stalked and harassed her day and night and caused her and our youngest to live in a constant state of fear. I have lied or told half truths to so many people about so much of this that I can’t keep track of them. I don’t want to lie about any of this anymore. I love my wife to no end. She is the best person that I know. She is intensely honest, loving and good to her core. This letter is massive simplification of the irreparable damage I have caused and the unforgivable things that I’ve done to her and our kids. To say more in this public forum would not help anyone. As the truth has started to leak out there have been people who have tried to blame my wife for my abuse to give me an out and people who have spread ridiculous and damaging rumors about her. This is fucked. She deserves so much better. If you are adopting this mentality or spreading these rumors you need to fucking stop. I have some serious issues that I am dealing with and I have separated myself from anyone who is connected with my public life so that I can focus on my own toxic shit. When my wife has been kind enough to answer questions about my absence, she has faced crazy accusations. There was a recent situation that was so fucked up that it necessitated immediate action on my part to set the record straight. My wife absolutely speaks for me in my absence and I have already said she is intensely honest. If you don’t want the truth definitely don’t ask her questions. Additionally it is never appropriate to approach or question our children.

"I know now that choosing to live a public life and be onstage was the worst decision that I could have made given the way that I am. I have hidden behind the attention and unfounded respect and adulation. I used my social position to directly and indirectly manipulate all of you and to hide the abuse of my family. I got satisfaction from my deception and perceived control of everyone involved. I am 100% permanently retired from being a professional musician. Some people can be in a scene like this where there is no accountability and maintain their integrity. I cannot. My sole focus for the rest of my life is on taking care of my family, allowing them safe space to heal and rebuilding their trust. I hope putting this out there will protect my wife from further attacks and finally allow my family some peace."

Sanford Parker (who played with Scott in Corrections House and Mirrors For Psychic Warface) posted: "In response to Scott Kelly’s post I would like to make it crystal clear that during the active years of Corrections House and Mirrors for Psychic Warfare I had no idea the level of abuse Scott was inflicting onto his family. He always talked about his “mental illness” and things he did in the past he regretted, but nothing like this.

"Over the last 12 plus years he and I have spent countless time together. I would be with him every second of every day for months at a time, often just the two of us and I have never seen this side of him. Not even close. It’s truly mind-blowing his level and power of manipulation he has on people. In January of 2020 Scott cut off all contact with me for no reason. I tried repeatedly reaching out via text, emails and phone calls and nothing. I tried several times reaching out to his wife but was told everything was ok. Then in March of 2021 she sent me a lengthy detailed email about the abuse she and the kids had experienced and it was honestly the most disturbing thing I have ever read, it made me physically ill. I wish I could unsee it. By that point though the damage had been done and as far as I knew they were away from him and safe. I poured my heart and soul into Corrections House and Mirrors For Psychic Warfare and now they are rotten. I will never have the same pride for those bands I once did and that truly hurts. This has been hard for me to process over the past year, but by this point in my life I am used to it and I move on.

"I see a lot of people praising him for his honesty and that’s total bullshit, he deserves no praise. I have no sympathy for Scott and neither should you. I do have much love for his family and I really hope they are able to heal and move forward."

Neurosis posted the following: "We cannot overstate the level of disgust and disappointment we feel for a man who we once called Brother.

"As a band, we parted ways with Scott Kelly at the end of 2019 after learning about severe acts of abuse he committed towards his family over the previous years. In the past, Scott had disclosed his marital difficulties and acts of verbal abuse, as well as his intention to get help and change his behaviors. The information we learned in 2019 made it clear Scott had crossed a line and there was no way back. We did not share this information out of respect for his wife’s direct request for privacy, and to honor the family’s wish not to let their experience become gossip in a music magazine. With Scott’s Facebook post of August 27, 2022 disclosing much of this information publicly, we can finally say what we believe needs to be said.

"For the last twenty years we have lived far apart from one another and only saw Scott when meeting up to work on music or play shows. We had no idea what the reality was for his family when we were not around. By Scott's own admission, his abuse was intentional, targeted, and a closely guarded secret - even from those of us closest to him. Once we learned of his abuse it was difficult to reconcile the horrible information with the person we thought we knew. It’s not surprising he hid the abuse for so long because it is a betrayal of our ethics as bandmates, partners, parents, and human beings. Since 2019, we have made numerous attempts to contact Scott. We wanted to have an honest talk about the status of the band and find out how he and his family were doing, but he has refused to speak with us for three years. And, in what we now see clearly to be a pattern, Scott refused to take responsibility for his actions. Having been through so much with someone for more than 35 years, one would expect some amount of closure, or at the very least a response. Now, without returning any of the calls, texts, or e-mails of his bandmates and friends, Scott has made a public post about the situation. To us, this decision seems like another attempt at manipulation, another opportunity for his narcissism to control the narrative. Don't allow Scott to make this about himself, it's about the abuse his family has suffered.

"Usually, we would view public openness and honesty about mental illness as brave and even productive. We just don’t believe that is the case here. There is nothing brave about systematically abusing your wife and children. There is nothing brave about confessing wrongdoing when you have not done the work to change your behavior. There is nothing brave about refusing to speak honestly, or speak at all, with one’s closest friends and bandmates, people who have supported you and stuck by you for most of your life. Compared to the impact of Scott’s actions on his family, the impact on our band pales in significance. Nevertheless, with the heartbreak and horror we also grieve for the loss of our life’s work and a legacy that was sacred to us.

"Again, our primary concern is for the safety and well-being of Scott’s wife and children, as well as anyone else in a similar situation. If someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or abuse, please reach out to one of the many local or national resources available. One national resource is: National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 www.thehotline.org If you or someone you know is suffering from mental health issues that could make you a danger to yourself or others, please get help before you hurt yourself or the people you love. One resource for that is: www.988lifeline.org

"This is the only statement we plan to make about this issue. In due course, when it's appropriate, we will provide more information about our future musical endeavors, but that time is not now."

Source: facebook.com
Band profile: Scott Kelly
Posted: 28.08.2022 by RaduP


Comments

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Comments: 24   Visited by: 344 users
28.08.2022 - 16:12
A Real Mönkey
Welp.
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"Change the world. My final message. Goodbye."

~Last words of Harambe, seconds before he was shot, according to child he shielded from gunfire
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28.08.2022 - 17:17
ScreamingSteelUS
Editor-in-Chief
Admin
It is worth mentioning that he made a similar statement almost exactly five years ago. This one has the added punctuation of his wholesale retirement from music (which I must say I will not believe until I have seen it for the next 40 years), and I hope that he means it this time when he says he's going to make up for his actions, but this entire announcement is only the very, very beginning, and it may not even be up to him to "fix" everything himself.

More importantly, I hope it's not too late for his family to recover from whatever they've endured.

UPDATE: The added statements of his bandmates do not inspire confidence that he will change. The fact that this has persisted so long suggests that his family is unfortunately not out of the woods just because Kelly decided to admit to it (again).
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"Earth is small and I hate it" - Lum Invader

I'm the Agent of Steel.
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28.08.2022 - 18:29
BitterCOld
The Ancient One
Admin
Fucking hell.
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get the fuck off my lawn.

Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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28.08.2022 - 18:37
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
Written by ScreamingSteelUS on 28.08.2022 at 17:17

It is worth mentioning that he made a similar statement almost exactly five years ago. This one has the added punctuation of his wholesale retirement from music (which I must say I will not believe until I have seen it for the next 40 years), and I hope that he means it this time when he says he's going to make up for his actions, but this entire announcement is only the very, very beginning, and it may not even be up to him to "fix" everything himself.

More importantly, I hope it's not too late for his family to recover from whatever they've endured.

Well ozzy has good song whine is good whisky is quicker.... And well maybe reading whole lyrics can be little inspiration. 95% fans won't support him.
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apos;'
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I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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28.08.2022 - 19:25
Cynic Metalhead
Paisa Vich Nasha
What a waste of great talent. That is sad.
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28.08.2022 - 19:38
Zap
Guest
Fucking hell.
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28.08.2022 - 21:33
Opethian
It sounds like music is the least of your problems. Abusing your wife and children? What a hero
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29.08.2022 - 13:10
Netzach
Planewalker
Staff
Written by Opethian on 28.08.2022 at 21:33

It sounds like music is the least of your problems. Abusing your wife and children? What a hero

Yeah, funny how he blames it on being a successful musician, what the hell... And he only seems to write this when he couldn't keep it secret anymore. I doubt there's a lot of self reflection going on.
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29.08.2022 - 15:56
RaduP
CertifiedHipster
Staff
Some more statements that dig Scott's hole even deeper.
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Do you think if the heart keeps on shrinking
One day there will be no heart at all?
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29.08.2022 - 16:17
baldur
"In due course, when it's appropriate, we will provide more information about our future musical endeavors, but that time is not now."
Hope they wont disband, cant imagine Neurosis not being around anymore
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29.08.2022 - 17:38
Boxcar Willy
yr a kook
What a bum. Good riddance.
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14:22 - Marcel Hubregtse
I do your mum

DESTROY DRUM TRIGGERS
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29.08.2022 - 18:14
Tuonelan
Last admission was that he has a mental illness. This time he's admitting that he abused his family, and not just that they suffered from his mental illness. Closer to honest, anyway.

Hope it's genuine and that this moment of clarity comes with some hard changes for him and that he gets his shit in order. And I hope those around him do what is best for their own happiness and don't get pulled into his shit again.
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Hopepunk living on a grimdark timeline
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29.08.2022 - 18:58
Chidder
Written by Tuonelan on 29.08.2022 at 18:14

Last admission was that he has a mental illness. This time he's admitting that he abused his family, and not just that they suffered from his mental illness. Closer to honest, anyway.

Hope it's genuine and that this moment of clarity comes with some hard changes for him and that he gets his shit in order. And I hope those around him do what is best for their own happiness and don't get pulled into his shit again.


Given the fact that he made almost exact statement 5 years ago and both his band and Parker cut ties with him saying that he is trying to manipulate people I think it's not genuine. He didn't want to talk with his friends and he only made that statement 'cos shit was getting closer to the fan. Maybe he knew that someone will write about him and he wanted to be faster - tell the story from his point of view and cut the losses. Even now some people are impressed by his "honesty" forgetting that he was lying to people close to him for years. He was manipulating them for years. 'Cos that's what he does.
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29.08.2022 - 19:18
SoUnDs LiKe PoP
I know very little about this guy or his music, but he is absolutely delusional if he thinks he can patch things up enough to where his family will want to remain with him now or at any point in the future. For the sake of his kids, I hope the mother is smarter than that.

I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt, admission is the first step, but it's pretty demotivating to hear that he pretty much made all these same promises 5 years ago. It's not that hard to pay lip service... the difficult part in changing and improving is the day-in day-out grind of sticking with it. It doesn't sound like this guy is cut out for that. Hopefully I'm wrong.

Finally, if you're f*cked up enough to abuse your own children, I very highly doubt you're capable of becoming "normal" again. As a father of two kids, I can't even fathom doing the stuff this guy has done. My mind would have to be absolutely f*cked beyond repair.
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I lift weights and listen to metal
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29.08.2022 - 20:25
The Galactician
I deeply admire the band’s response. Absolutely the right thing to include some practical information so that anyone being abused can get some help.

This line also struck me a being particularly astute:

“To us, this decision seems like another attempt at manipulation, another opportunity for his narcissism to control the narrative. Don't allow Scott to make this about himself, it's about the abuse his family has suffered.”
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30.08.2022 - 13:26
qlacs
"The Quaker"
Yes it's very sad, but it is also a reminder that our musical/cinematical/etc artistic heroes are people too. They make mistakes just like anyone (if not worse) and often their music is their escape/method to deal with their madness. Which is why more people should try to learn to de-associate with who made the music with the actual qualities it might hold. Anyone who knows an artist intimately can ruin your enjoyment of their music forever if you associate their creation with the person who they are, or worse, idolize someone for what their music means to you. They are just people.
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31.08.2022 - 06:24
Cthulu
Is this why he wasn't on the new Mastodon record?
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31.08.2022 - 09:11
ohmayhem
He's 'allowing' the family space. praising his wife after all he put her through. painting himself as the good but damaged guy. god, this is all so sick. it's all a show for the public, none of this is genuine. kindly get fucked.
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31.08.2022 - 10:20
no one
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31.08.2022 - 15:01
Charlotbk
Hope is ex-wife and children the best and recovery, him he can go fuck himself!
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31.08.2022 - 19:04
Desha
delicious dish
I particularly like the lines from parker and the rest of neurosis about how you should not give a shit about his statement and that this is just another way to make everything about himself. There's been loads of cases like this recently. And this is, without a shred of a doubt, the best "apology" post I've read. None of the myriad of other celebrities coming out with shit like this even come close to this level of admitting. And it is STILL not praiseworthy or brave or whatever the fuck.

I really fucking hope his family has some way to be safe, lock down must've been hell for them, if they've done it.
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You are the hammer, I am the nail
building a house in the fire on the hill
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01.09.2022 - 15:40
Alakazam
spendin' cheese
One wall of virtue signaling meets another wall.

One factor that seems to always goes over everyone's head is working out the foundation and factors of that abusive behavior. On the other end, there are always cries for help and signposting but without a clue of what action to actually do to be different when efforts fail. Brings up the "your efforts to help aren't good enough" theory. An impossible standard.

One other joke is the concept of that person lying when asked about their personal life because that person chooses to not disclose it.
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01.09.2022 - 20:41
no one
Written by Alakazam on 01.09.2022 at 15:40

One wall of virtue signaling meets another wall.

One factor that seems to always goes over everyone's head is working out the foundation and factors of that abusive behavior. On the other end, there are always cries for help and signposting but without a clue of what action to actually do to be different when efforts fail. Brings up the "your efforts to help aren't good enough" theory. An impossible standard.

One other joke is the concept of that person lying when asked about their personal life because that person chooses to not disclose it.

Once again I don't really know what your on about, apart from the "One factor that seems to always goes over everyone's head is working out the foundation and factors of that abusive behavior" I don't think that goes over anybody's head because that's not what we're dealing with here, of cause everybody has a history of things happening to them that got them to the mental state they are in now. I'm sure a psychiatrist will try to deal with that part.
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03.09.2022 - 10:59
Nejde
CommunityManager
Moderator
Now we also know why he wasn't featured on Hushed and Grim. Mastodon must've known since he's been doing guest vocals on every album since Leviathan.

Kelly's behaviour is both disgusting and despicable and after reading both his and Neurosis' statements I can only agree that Kelly's statement is just an attempt at manipulation from a grave narcissist. Only way for his family to get peace is to get away as far from him as possible.
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