Vampires Everywhere! - Kiss The Sun Goodbye review
| Band: | Vampires Everywhere! |
| Album: | Kiss The Sun Goodbye |
| Style: | Metalcore |
| Release date: | May 2011 |
01. Bury Me Alive
02. Immortal Love
03. Undead Heart
04. Ashes To Ashes
05. Kill The Chemicals
06. Bleeding Rain
07. Carnage At The Castle
08. The Embrace
09. Lipstick Lies
10. Children Of The Night
11. Call Out The Dead
12. Silver Bullet
If nothing else, Century Media should give themselves a big pat on the back for a great marketing opportunity they've snagged themselves here. The cinematic/literary masterpiece Twilight and it's subsequent followups really ignited some bizarre new world-wide love of vampires. While sales of Count Chocula have undoubtedly hit a huge spike, we have yet to see any strictly vampire-themed metal and/or metal related products hit the market. Of course we have various gothic bands that have definitely explored the theme of exsanguination, but there's no bands exclusively revolving themselves around the subject. That is, until this waste of time was created.
Too bad Vampires Everywhere! is to metal what Edward is to Nosferatu. Wussified and unthreatening. Unlike Twilight, Vampires Everywhere! isn't really bringing anything new to its form of media, for better or worse. Judging by the press release that went along with this album it's hard to say whether I'm an idiot for trying to review this on a serious level, and Century Media was just a little late getting their April fools day prank together, or this band is something that should be genuinely considered a musical entity. A lead singer who goes by the name of Michael Vampire who apparently considers himself to be an actual vampire really leads me to believe there is no possible way this isn't a joke. Maybe this man (yes, keep in mind this band consists of grown men) just came up with a creative excuse for his iron deficiency. I don't even want to fucking know.
Here's an unpleasant thought for you: This band will be huge. Brace yourselves and mark my words; teenagers are the most researched age group by any type of marketers. As a collective group, they dump the most disposable income into the economy every year. Couple this fact with a band that not only has a widely accessible sound, but also has that androgynous look that can really appeal to screaming teenage girls, while at the same time catering to the new juvenile fascination of vampires, what you've got is one helluva money machine.
.......
...Oh yeah! I forgot there was music...Screamo. Terrible, cringe-inducing screamo/metalcore. Think of an Escape The Fate/Bring Me The Horizon clone, slap on a goofy, yet incredibly marketable gimmick on top and you've pretty much got the idea.
Comments page 2 / 3
Comments: 71
Visited by: 388 users
| Cyroth Posts: 274  |
Don't know if I should waist my time and download it to try to heart the album and vote it, or to give it 1 from the start for being what it is...
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18276  |
Written by Cyroth on 18.05.2011 at 11:24 Watch the video for the second song "Immortal Love".... Then puke, and then go for 1. That's all you need tbh.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Cyroth Posts: 274 |
Written by X-Ray Rod on 18.05.2011 at 11:36 lame video, lame auto-tune clean voice, lame singer(lame hair), lame lyrics...at least the drums started ok...but this is just lame
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18276 |
Written by Guest on 18.05.2011 at 12:31 It's not "wasting time" the staff gets many albums from labels that would like to have the albums reviwed for promotion. Most of the new reviews if not all of them are about new albums, new bands, labels that want to put some light into them and so on. And I can say quite safely that Godin enjoyed writting this review 
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306  |
Written by rocketstorm2 on 18.05.2011 at 06:19 You obviously don't understand irony: Quote:So did the band.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| malaikat Posts: 405  |
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| Pyramid God Posts: 184  |
Written by rocketstorm2 on 18.05.2011 at 06:19 The effin' horribly sung emo chorus is auto-tuned. If you still care about what this album might actually sound like, you're wrong.
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| dougver1 Posts: 59  |
Everything wrong with music all carefully packaged into one kid friendly product!
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| Doc G. Full Grown Hoser Staff Posts: 9718  |
Written by rocketstorm2 on 18.05.2011 at 06:19 If you realized how lacking in substance this band actually is, you would also realize how impossible it is to write an honest 250+ words about them.
---- "I got a lot of really good ideas, problem is, most of them suck." - George Carlin
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| Deadsoulman Elite Posts: 8004  |
Written by Cyroth on 18.05.2011 at 13:14 That's what I thought when I listened to that song. The drums at the beginning sound cool. The rest clearly doesn't. The possibility that my daughter could be into that kind of stuff when she's a teenager is scaring the shit out of me.
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| FrozenJoy Posts: 60 |
Oh fuck... I just hoped not seeing this in MS, but at least you're saying the truth... I had already listened to Immortal Love, 'cause it was compared by a guy in another site to Bathory (you know, to show both sides, good and inspired music, and well... This kinda horrible, twisted thing...) This is just too lame... If at least they didn't use auto-tune, it would still be terrible, but not SO much... The worst part is, they'll be huge... Yeah, definitely you're being TOO forgiving with the rating... Anyway, very good review 
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by Guest on 20.05.2011 at 03:34 Just no. I worked at a book store, and believe it or not, on any given day you usually had more male kids coming in for the Twilight books than girls. Why? Because if you like something that all girls like, guess how easy it is to strike up a conversation? "Oh I see you're reading Eclipse, I just started the first book but I can't get enough of it!" "No way, you like Twilight? It's the best series I've ever read! You have to keep reading!" "Definitely. Hey, why don't we talk about it in the caf at lunch?" "Sure, I'll meet you by the front door." Success. That, and brothers would get it for sisters, sons for mothers, boyfriends for girlfriends... We are but a slave to female trends.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18276 |
Written by Troy Killjoy on 20.05.2011 at 03:44 Written by Guest on 20.05.2011 at 04:16 Can't you just... Read some detalied wikipedia articles about the books and then just strike up the conversation that way? It's not like the book is any more complicated than that.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Horus Posts: 43 |
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by X-Ray Rod on 20.05.2011 at 11:34 No, not with Twilight. You have to be able to talk in-depth about it, practically write a critical analysis on the spot because those chicks know when you're lying. If they think you're a fan they expect you to know how many times the word "dazzling" is used throughout the series and for you to be able to discuss at length the significance of the really obscure scenes that involve a character who is eventually the star of a spin-off novel that is widely seen as even more of a cash grab than the Twilight "saga" in the first place.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Doc G. Full Grown Hoser Staff Posts: 9718 |
Written by X-Ray Rod on 18.05.2011 at 13:43 I really did. I actually had about 4 different reviews written up for this, I found this to be the best one.
---- "I got a lot of really good ideas, problem is, most of them suck." - George Carlin
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| Boxcar Willy yr a kook Posts: 8983  |
MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is just the worst thing i've everseen, i cant even laugh... i'm crying a little actually...
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| Fat & Sassy! Elite Posts: 3857  |
Written by Deadsoulman on 19.05.2011 at 13:04 Yeah. Good luck with that, dude. :/ I don't have kids, but this thought has crossed my mind when I think about the theoretical event of me having kids. I guess all you can do is passively expose her to the stuff you like and hope she develops a good taste in music. *shrugs*
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| Sulac Posts: 242  |
My ex would love this... There's a reason I'm not too sad about the whole "ex" bit.
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| Doc G. Full Grown Hoser Staff Posts: 9718 |
Written by Fat & Sassy! on 22.05.2011 at 19:12 It's called aversion therapy, dude. You just beat your children savagely while blasting this in the background.
---- "I got a lot of really good ideas, problem is, most of them suck." - George Carlin
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| Fat & Sassy! Elite Posts: 3857 |
Written by Doc G. on 23.05.2011 at 07:54 Although this plan is brilliant, it'll take a stronger man than I to willing play this crap, regardless of my intentions for doing so.
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| DorianGray Posts: 41  |
I think something just died inside of me .. I dont know if its from laughing or crying .. By the gods what a waste of time that I could have been listning to actual real music
---- "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful."
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| jazar94 Posts: 59 |
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| Slayer666 Posts: 2466  |
Written by Doc G. on 23.05.2011 at 07:54 I'm sure child protective services would look kindly upon this. No, seriously, I'm not being sarcastic. Protecting children from shit like this by any means necessary is what social services should be all about.
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| qlacs "The Quaker" Posts: 1537  |
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| ravendeath Posts: 240  |
I think that these vampires drink too much coca cola...
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