I almost didn't dare to post my poem, after reading all poems that have allready been posted, I just realised I might not have that much talent after all .. I can't believe the amazing work sometimes!
But anyway, I'll still post mine, I used to be quite proud of it, but well .. read with critic eye
It's the same poem you'll find on my profile, by the way.


Evacuate my soul (the first letter of each line: the poem is based on those letters)

Explore the verges of death
Vague silhouettes from sweet to sour
After compulsive imaginations of Seth
Cut your throat and float
Upon the golden underworld boat
At midnight's darkest hour
Think of what you've accomplished
Especially of what your mind ravished

Midsummer pleasures are done for
Yearn to return, just once more

Sober wishes, dumped in a whim
Over long drowned corpses
Under souls watching over the grim
Life possesses malignant forces

Boy of the Sun


Ride on,
Boy of the sun,
Ride on?

There are no signs.
Road is empty and short.
There is no space for two.
[No space].


Mountains shine back.
OH,
You are beautiful,
Boy of the Sun.


You are leaving us behind.


What happens with
Butterflies and flowers
And all the other kids from space,
When you are not here?
What joy will it bring
[Singing and playing with rockets],
When you have taken them with you?
OH,
Boy of the Sun.
What have you done with your heart?


Ride on,
Boy of the sun,
Ride on?


You leave your footsteps in the dawn.
There is silence
And wicked games in the air.
Hallucinations collecting speed.
Desert is filled with corners of your face.
OH,
How we pray for our insanity,
For it to come and take us
To the highways, where you once stood.

OH,
Boy of the Sun.
You are our glooming God.
We had a book about you,
A storyteller.
And there were one line,
[A Little lie?]:

He never existed.

01. January. 2005th
/MHK

This is more song lyric or poem dunno, but I wrote it
about life, nice things, who brings you down, and down again, but still you want it and want it.

Orgasms And Alcohool

One morning, I open my window,
Open it, and what do I see?
I'm getting older,
And lady death is waiting around the corner

To the other side, on another day I go,
I will go with you my dear
I want it, take me home,
Because I'm tired of..
Orgasms and Alcohol

Orgasms and Alcohol,
It kills me every day,
Orgasms and Alcohol
The loving man I'll never play

One morning I open my window,
Open it and see...
Some new colours and faces,
Faces which are dead like me

So you like this lyric ?

@belgianmetalman...Evacuate my soul...
Don't be afraid to post your poems! Remember that everyone is a master of his own words. To me, this poem is about a person who have lived infesting on other, hurting and threatening people. But the past always comes rushing back to you, one can never escape the sense of guilt. The word usage is complex, but you never lost "the flow" in it, witch is a good thing. Intresting topic and a good title. I like the way you builded up the lines. Keep posting!

@Collacteral...Boy of the sun...
you have a special style in your writing. Your poems is easy to follow and read but it's hard to interpret. This poem is about the person who always keeps smiling, no matter what happens. If that person stop, how could we other people keep living our lives? Perhaps this "boy of the sun" never existed, but it's teaching us that we should trying to see things in a positive way, even if the sitation looks rather gloomy. That is how I interpret your poem anyway. Nicely written by the way!

@Karisasakis7...Orgasms And Alcohol...
Like it? I love it! So beautiful in all is simplicity. You get the feeling that the character you descirbe has reached the low bottom and have lost the life spirit beacuse of his wild life with booze and women. If Johny Cash would have lived today, I wouldn't mind him sing this song. It would really fit him perfect. Great work!

(untitled)

Hear the thorns that cries your name
the spoken lies will become daylight
the abused one will rise again

Tremble, for thou shall truly fear
the infested power of the crucifixed one
a mighty cross inhales your breathing
the dreadful hours will come soon

A fool of might, an illusion of power
with a seared eye you control the masses
but get you can't escape the terror
that is lurking in the shadows

Behold the sacrificed lamb
ripping your powers apart
let the angels blew their trumpets
and unleash the sacred light

The bitter wine
will become your prisoned castle
the wrath of the heavens king
will once again rip of your mutilated wings

In the garden of heaven
you are a mere fly, infesting
but thou shalt be weakened
a deasese tormenting thy soul

Love, affection
and the silent light that divided your wings
will make thy mere power vanguish,
dividing until nothing remains
the fallen one, thou shalt bleed!

I am Alone

Death!...Take me in your hands
Hands of lies and hate
I want be in your home
'Cause I'm alone

Why...?
Why I saw it?
Why I feel it?
Why I want it... be alone?

Life!...Why I know you
Why I feel you
Why I existe in you
In you...Im alone

Soul!...Why I think that you are black?
Why are you burning inside in me?
Why? Why? Why? Why Im alone?

Voices!...Why you tell to me Die?
You know you dont think so for real
Why yo want see me alone?
Why I talk whit you?
Because...Im Alone.


Well this is my works what I finish just now, so Im just lazy and bored to chech mistaces and read it,
Its about life, life, life and fXing life.

Quote:
@Karisasakis7...Orgasms And Alcohol...
Like it? I love it! So beautiful in all is simplicity. You get the feeling that the character you descirbe has reached the low bottom and have lost the life spirit beacuse of his wild life with booze and women. If Johny Cash would have lived today, I wouldn't mind him sing this song. It would really fit him perfect. Great work!

Man I love to hear when Johney Rotte, Johney Cash, whatewer sing this song, but bether Johney Cash, or some people who is dead.

Some day are when you dont need women, becaus eyou had enought of them, maybe not sexual but emotional, and sometimes are when you just dont want it.

Well I dont know when I last time had been whit women, and I dont drink so much, but well just alcoholic are my rolle from early days, it keeps from me some bad things, and sometems orgasms

hey, there are a lot of beautiful poems here! I wish I could write one but as I said before I'm just not able to write anything good in english.
K7: nice poems! I didn't know that part of you...
Sometimes I want to be kiss by the death's mouth
Icewinds: lovely poem my dear... please post another

@Torrelli ~ Thats ok. I'm trying to comment on people's poems who haven't had a comment yet. Your 'untitiled' poem was an interesting read. The imagery was fascinating. Your use of words was captivating and gave the poem a depth and darkness that was beautiful. The meaning was one I found similar to the ones I attempt to create in a few of my poems. Were you deliberately trying to make a pattern with the words? I'm just curious because there seems to be one as each sentence seems to repeat the same kind of flow in each which brings across the point over and over again and sets it in the mind of the reader.

@Kariasakis7 ~ Your poem was really straight forward and yet it had depth and meaning in its simpleness. I enjoyed reading it and found it to be a change to the winding of words of many of the other poems I've come to read. I have to agree with Torelli as it really hit home the point and caught the story you were trying to get across really well.

Anyways here is another of mine for everybody to read:

Damned

Blood trickles down bare skin.
Running along curved
lips.

Glistening drops fall
from a crimson
mouth.

Soft ribbons of flesh tearing
from white bone.

Dark shadows hide the
victim in silenced
halls.

Flames sear the broken walls
as glowing eyes
watch.

The hunters of the night
craving fresh
meat.

Walking among them the
damned.

Lost and broken, fallen
envoys of death.

Hated of sunlight,
feared by
life.

They wander the shadows
in the soft
moonlight.

Vanishing at dawn into
the night.

A fate called immortality,
a half life called
death.

An existance scorned by all
and abjured of
peace.

Souless and damned
they hunt for
life.

i dont know, i had this stage when i started writing about the process of birth, and miss carriage and other stuff that was related to kids last year or so. not that i have a kid myself. am i looking forward to perenthood, i know it not. but whatever...ill post two of em. and again...these arent really my best work either.

*pant* (HE/HIM/HIS is talkinging about god)

run away, run away
as fast as you can
run before the time runs out on you.
run away, and try to hide
into the abyss of darkness,
where HE can't reach.
run and hide before the hour glass
hits nine months.
run away, my child,
run away before HE grabs you
and throws you in this hell.
run away, my child,
HE is giving you life
dont you accept it
for it's a curse of misery
full of sorrow and of hate
and of love, but its a curse.
you may be HIS loaly servant in elysian field.
but here, you are less than a slave.
run away, run away, run away my child
run from HIS wrath, his lies
and HIS confusion...

HE is the one who did this to me
and yet i'm forbiggen to ask why!
run away-slip away, keep away
from the hatefull spiral called life
HE'S shoving you down this way
break the cycle!
be sparticus!
my own, my pride!
dont come, like that...



Sweet child of mine(nah, nothing to do with Guns N' Roses)

now that its over,
pretend you never
heard their words
and they wont scratch you.
my child, listen,
a mad world lies out there
but you just give it a try.
you see a broken me,
take my wings
and you fly high.
my child, where do you go?
dont you wonder off far....

you're so beautiful
please dont cry
spread your wings and
soar high.

i held you when you were born
ever so alive
you grew up too fast.
no, please dont go
tp call for help.
i rather have you by my side.
my child lets just slip it a side.

remember when you were five,
you wanted to become a balerina.
i attempted nut-cracker,
and broke three fingers instead.
yet we had some good times.
so dont you cry tonight.
my child, i apologize
i couldnt be a good mother;
but tell me, was i a good father?
please forgive me, for i cant be there
when you graduate
or when your child walks.
please, my child, dont cry
for angels dont cry
but they...the angels...they call me at once
good bye...

she wraps her fingers around his hand, as he melts away, slowly...

Carcrashes are...not beautiful to witness...

"Scenery painted in red"

Carcass driving into death
crashing into my face
adrenaline pumping out from my veins

Little child
mumbeling in fright
inside linger the remains of the night

Searness in lies
shouting sirens in a melting eye
all they tell you is:
"Hey, you there! Don't come inside"!

Dust forming into tears
reality or someone elses fear?
I don't know...

The silence is the only thing
that is reminicent here
but the moment of the mind
is forever attached to my eyes

........................................................



Time for some commentry...

@Kariasakis7:...I am alone...
You have a feeling for allways hitting the point. This poem is no exeption. I think the topic is quite usual to write about, but you're dealing with this subject in a clear and beautiful way. The closing lines have some sort of madness in it, witch gives it a somewhat uncomfrtable feeling. Those closing line could also be as a result of loneliness. Wonderful, simply wonderful...

@Penance:...Damned...
I most say that you are very good to comment, much better then I am. You have a way to find words and describe exacly how and why the poems impact you.
Now to your poem...The short stanzas gives the poem a nice outfit. I like the way you connect the stanzas by rhyming in the first line with the last line in the previous stanza, in that way the poem feels more "organic". I feel that the topic draws more to the book-related vampires then those on films. The reason why I think so is that you're pointing out the more negative things of being a vampire rather then the positive things. It is also showed in the title choice. Even though these kind of topics isn't really my thing, I can't deny that it's well-written and a good poem. Great work!

@Soliloguy..Pant...
the poem is from a quite a diffrent prespective. It's an unusual way of painting the anxesity of a mother. What world is this baby forced to live in? From a diffrent view, this poem can be interpreted as a sign of man's searh for God and for what purpose we live here.("He is the one who did this to me, and get I'm forbidden to ask why"). The poem is really nice, not so cynical as it may be seen at the first read.

...Sweet child of mine...
The words of a father who feels like he has neglected his child... From what I can interpret the father llie under death and he now wonders if he have been a good father to his daughter. it looks like they have had some troubles in the past but when the end his near, she seems like she have forgiven him. "She wraps her fingers around his hand, as he melted away, slowly...", This closing line is so strong and so beautiful that it almost brought a tear to my eye. Very beautiful...

Hate

Hate, why are you against me?
Ancient days are passed by,why can I see?
Tiers I see in my dead eyes
End is just so close

Hate, Im here open for you
And bride can count on me
The widow you will be
Eternal tiers you will cry my dear

Hate, just say why?
And lock at me, and go away
Ten tousend miles in deep
Eternety in you I will sleep

Hate, I hate you
And I want die whit out you
Then I be glad of existence
Ending wispers are done!

Quote:
@Kariasakis7:...I am alone...
You have a feeling for allways hitting the point. This poem is no exeption. I think the topic is quite usual to write about, but you're dealing with this subject in a clear and beautiful way. The closing lines have some sort of madness in it, witch gives it a somewhat uncomfrtable feeling. Those closing line could also be as a result of loneliness. Wonderful, simply wonderful...

Well It was from inside and whitv meaning, I wrote it yesterday when my lst glass of wine was ending and just some how I shoud spend my time till sleep.
So I wrote it what I fell in that time, because I know well its from Arakain song: "Zase Spis V Noce Sama" in english She is sleeping alone tonoght,

Those lins, in ewery poet has chaos, and chaotic dreams makes him wrote.

your poemas are great too, I cant coment, Im not suck deep person, who can coment in poetic way other peope poems, so... but its great.

EDDIT

This is new:

Alcohool My Hope-New Love Destroyer


Like a frozen tears
I stand
Like a old man
I hope

Love is death
I die when I fall
Kiss are winds
I fly when I taste

Alcohool My Hope-New Love Destroyer

Alcohol are home
It warms me
Alcohol are shield
It saves me
Alcohol is mother
It gives me new life
Alcohol is my love
Love not destroyer

Alcohool My Hope-New Love Destroyer


This is new, I be glad if someone corect me and ,aybe corect some lyrics
because its special poem, I write it what feel,a nd I want it better, so hope some one sugest me what I shoud replace what not

Thanx

Urgh!

Detachment from the human race
How easy it would be to leave this mess
So many ways to go...
Razor to the wrists
Bullet in the head, brains scattered? nothing new
Bottle of pills to bring me down
Strangulation, forced collapse
Elixir of poison - Juliet would be so proud
Choking on the vile gas of vicious lies

Pathetic existence, why bother with your tears
Meaningless screams of torment
I despise all humanity, this ceaseless hatred towards the shepherdess flock
Take me away... let me go, let me fall
Death is truly living
Complete freedom from life
Absolute artificial sorrow

@Torelli: Thank you my dear , you Indeed felt the poem and understood everything about it , Great writings from you as well ...

@ Alouqua: Thank you dear , and yes later ..but don't worry I'm sure you can write .. and well english is a complicated language , I still have problems with it sometimes , so is not only you and beside like people say the best writings come out good with your first language in this case Spanish ..

and well this is not a poem but a quote that cam to my mind today , maybe all do a poem with this .

*Of all the lovers at war , Sadness is the one that has conquer my heart*

Kariasakis7:...Hate...
Nice, painting the most destrucive, or in some case most healthy of the human behavior: hate. You are slowly building up the poem as hate is slowly building up inside us. The poem feels..organic, in some strange way. Though the last stanza was a little weaker them the previous stanzas. The rest of the poem was of a really good quality though...

...Alcohol, my hope - the new love destroyer...
I will send you a message with some corrections, but here I just settle to comment the poem. Alcohol destroys so much, no matter how hard we try to deny it. Here you have painted it what it does to our ability to communicate. It also shows how much some people seek it as a comefort, a friend and something to make the solitude to go away. easy writing but get it goes directly to the heart, and after all, that is what poetry is all about.

@Angel deformity...untitled...
The hate for the human race. The poem gives a quite misanthropic view of mankind, doesn't it? Explaining the constant wineing about our lives when infact it isn't so bad at all. The character i painted in aselfish way, as his/her matters is far greater then the obsiticles in others lives. I'm not sure what to think about the poem, more then it has some complex wording and would fit perfectly as a song. Keep writing!

@Icewings: Actually, the quote that you posted has some truth in it. It's rarely that any poet is content with their lives. Actually I think not many people are happy with thier lives, as there is in our nature to complain. People have diffrent way to deal with those thoughts, but the poet's way top express itis, of course, through words.

@Torelli: Thanks I really apreciate it , and well I do agree with you , somehow no one is content with their lives I understand that , but well you know ?I feel that my sadness goes deeper than this , I have been a sad child since I was born I don't know why , maybe is Karma ...who knows but well I have learn to see it different and then I came up wit this quote see what you think :

*Tears are beautiful , because it shows there's a soul *

@Icewings: Yes, melancoly can be beautiful. The movies and the folk music in my country is an example of that. But also there is an unspoken tradition in my country... that the man should never show sadness, thats a sign of weakness, that we should be strong and deal a situation with toughness. But despite my age, I have experiness many sad things in my life. I have lost people I care about through cancer, murder, suicide etc. If I hadn't finally exepted my sadness, I don't know if I would be here today. But it's important to not let sadness quonqer once heart. In that case we have alot to learn from the native africans as they are able to see happiness and joy even if their lives are counted by poverty, deaseses and misery.
Btw, Are we going off-topic or not? That we talk about are somehow related to poetry....

The Beginning Of The End

The winter collides in her flesh.
She knows -
Death walks behind her past.
Oh mistress of descended fantasy,
Hate our enemies for us,
Pray for our demonic sins.
We are the hand of this sickness
And the skin of your lies.

The trees are dying into frost.
The carousel of life stopped.
She broke the oath of purity
And now the youth is screaming
In tired blood.

Oh mistress of broken fantasy,
Let us die only for our illusions,
Let us pray for your damned soul.
We are the disappointment of slavery
And the pride of pain.

And from the east
The storm of century is rising
Last one before the new world
Her heart is in love of destruction
And winters treacherous spirit
Closes gates after
The world of beginning.

Inspiration: Swallow The Sun - Descending Winters (L)
/MHK
17.april.2006

@ Torelli: thank you for the comments. and also thankyou for commenting other peoples work. i dont know, no matter how hard i try, i just cant comment peoples work without getting either too confused, or end up insulting the writers. i think i tend to read too much into the words or soemthing. so hey, thanks.

Grim Reaper or Nelo Angelo (black angel)

they lie down there(happily)
just so peaceful.
i can take their soul
right now.
but why does the strange shorrow
and melancholy float around with me?
and silence shadows it.
oh, why do their chests not move?
why dont i hear it beat?
these questions float with me...
and these fingerprints do
not mirror mine!
this can not be my work.
who has been here?

*whisper:burning tigers into the rain
the wish you had of a shadow flair.
the cosmic flower digs beneath
the cold face of the of the frozen lake*

oh, these marks here are of
the white and black

*whisper: oh, the rage that hits beneath the cloud,
thats brewing here before the sun
(burning longer than the sun)
the light that rips you into abyss*

Carthage's yours, and not mine!
the painted hands are in your pocket!
dont you blame me...any more.
the wish you had of a broken man
lies no more deeper than this grave...
of your son.
how does it feel? you shoved me down this grave yourself...
im sorry, i can not take your blames anymore.
you are on your own
even a light, such as me, lost to you...

Dark Ride


walk beside me shade, impossibility, wonder
gaze me in the corridor unoticed,
keep the answer inward, look down.

follow the crusade of our second life
splash the water beyond us, die again
undress my dreams, thou be nude

I pledge my mind to thee tenfold,
while climbing the staircase
the sound of violins, the ground

with coldness I grant thee my bewildered touch
invisible, rusty
fragile thine eyes, the disintegration...

the words that bounce on the papper,
black sheets where I lay my tears
as thy gory landscapes

my beloved, my ripe, my sword of midnight
once thine fingers rest upon me may my pith's
drumming beat be preserved womb-to-tomb
whilst one solenmly yearns thee Impossibleness

@Angel Deformity ~ Nice use of words to convey the feeling of utter contempt and hatred of life. I really like the lines where you've listed different ways of dying. That really added to the meaing of the poem and gave a nice touch to the dark edges. I noticed near the end there is also a touch of sadness which I thought really finished it off nicely. It rounded out the furocity of the attack on life and gave it something extra, making it less brutal and easier to relate to. It was really blunt and open. A great read, truly!

@Icewings ~ Just wanted to say beautiful quotes! Really... I really love them! I am a quote nut so have proceeded to add them to a list of favourites! (if thats ok with you?)

@Torelli ~ (Akinyl) ~ Beautiful imagery! Really loved the meaning and how you expressed this passion of the heart. It was wonderful. The way its written is enchanting and sensual as well. (I think that makes sense) Anyway... I enjoyed the mix between the physical and the emotional, you have a way of doing so that gives importance to both without taking anything away from either image. I've seen this in a few of your poems. Your able to mix images without destroying the beauty of either... brilliant!
(Longing) ~ Loved the structure! It was beautiful! The way its written really suits the meaning your trying to convey. It slows the pace and gives it that extra feeling of peace. Yet throughout you can really feel and see the longing of the character. The images set the basis of the poem and really gives the meaning that beauty of soul.

@Collacteral ~ WOW! Thats all I have to say... it was fantastic, awe inspiring in its imagery. I loved the meaning, the idea behind the words, the whole thing was well written and formed into a twist of beauty and pain. It was great! The whole thing, in my opinion, was really pulled together by this image of a woman. Distant and yet so close...wonderful!

@Soliloquy ~ Your poem was amazing! The whole structure was well done and suited the poem. The story was alive and the imagery really set the scene. The two voices were wonderfully written. Each different and creating two different characters, adding a nice twist to the story. The idea was brilliant! Can't give you much more praise than that...

Oh boy... last comment...

@Bloodtears ~ Beautiful... I felt the poems sadness and the feeling of death was enchanting and dark. It was inviting, like a lover. The poem was cold, distant and yet it was peaceful and accepting as well... I really can't say much more than that for words esdcape me... the one word that sums it all up is... beautiful! Truly that is all I can so... enchantingly beautiful...

Well... thats about it for now... will be back to add more comments and another poem when I have time...

@Collacteral...The Beginning Of The End...
I see in the lyrics that you have had a great inspration source there, but you manage to create a different poem with a different meaning in it. To me, this poem is about a street child, entering the false promises of prostitution. This topic is hard to write about, as it easy falls into clitshées. But you have created a strong poem, with reach the inner sanctuary and serves as a reminder of other people's lives. I like the way you ended the poem.

@Soliloguy:...Nelo Angelo...
That people are taken away from us is hard for us to accept. You have painted that really well as the voice of the grim reaper. it seems unfair that perfectly healthy and young people are so cruely taken away from us. But after all, those things are only natural, even if it seems unreal at first. Maybe we should stop blaiming death for everything and focus on the things we really have instead, trying to move on with our lives? Many questions arise when I read your poem, but that's a good thing. Good work...

@BloodTears...Dark ride...
Painting the dark thoughts in life...atleast it's that I interpret of your poem. "The dark ride" , the poem's own words and the poet's inspiration source. The words etched on the paper, so destructive get a comefort. I think this poem symbolize the poet's need to write down the dark thoughts in other to keep on living. The wording is wonderful, but the rythm has some difficulties getting through. Try to work on the rythm a bit more and you have a great poem there....

@Penance: Thank you for commenting. Not that I don't like commenting, but people need to see other opinions at well, not only my words. with that people get a more diverged picture of the poems as well, witch leeds to more interpretions. Thank you again.

@Penance: thank you for your comment, it was the first time someone said anything about my poetry here in Metalstorm (and Torelli did it too) so it has a special meaning. Some of the things u felt with the poem were things that I wanted the poem to convey, which is good. In your words - "It was inviting, like a lover." i would like to explain that it is exactly that, about my beloved...~

Torelli: thank u as well for commenting and for the advice about the rythm too. I liked to see that people had different interpretations of what it stands for and in your case you have a point too, it is about my necessity to write about my emotions and sadness. Sorry for the awful words on the papper ~

@Penance: thankyou for your comment

Written by Torelli on 05.06.2006 at 20:20

@Soliloguy:...Nelo Angelo...
That people are taken away from us is hard for us to accept. You have painted that really well as the voice of the grim reaper. it seems unfair that perfectly healthy and young people are so cruely taken away from us. But after all, those things are only natural, even if it seems unreal at first. Maybe we should stop blaiming death for everything and focus on the things we really have instead, trying to move on with our lives? Many questions arise when I read your poem, but that's a good thing. Good work...

thanks for the comment, but you actually got the wrong picture. i wrote in a really twisted way. what i had in mind was that a father lost his youth due to some crime, and now is living through his child. the father killed someone, and served a long time(not that that is evident). the kid grew up under the fathers shadows, and was influenced. but when he saw two bodies lying here, he was a bit confused. he realised that it wasnt him who killed the bodies, but someone else did. soemthing happend, and the cops caugth on. they took the child as the killer, and killed him due to capital punishment. after life, the child is talking to his dad, calling him as 'the wish you had of a broken man' is basically saying that all the wishes the dad had, he is living though his son, and the son just cant do it any more. so basically, the dad is living the sons freedom.

its really dark and twisted and weird. but i dont know. i think Penance understood some of the points i mentioned. but until now, i never saw what you see in it. intersting

@Torelli: My dear forgive me if I was getting off topic ...


@Penance: Of course , I feel flatered .... and well thank you for taking in consideration my heart , because my writings and my music is that ....

@Soliloguy: I see. Poetry is something vague, witch leads to many interpretions, that's what makes poetry so wonderful. Thank you for explaining the real meaning for me, when I read the poem with your words in my head, I now really see what you're trying to point out. Nice idea by the way...

@Icewings: Actually I don't think you're going off topic. I mainly thought that the discussion about what motivates a poet were off-topic, and since I was the one who argued about that, I'm the one who are going off-topic. But in a way, it's not off-topic at all when I come of thinking of it. You see, the thread is only entitled "poetry", not "post your poems here and comment on other works", in that case we could also talk what motivates a poet and why people write poetry at all. We could also bring up famous poems and discuss those. but perhaps we should create a seperate thread for that, otherwise this thread would be come really huge and very chaotic, and with that people would find it impossible to read the posted poems and comment on those. I'm sorry that I missguided you there...

NOTE: the quotes were absolutly not off-topic, as they are poetry in a way to...You are more then welcome to post more.

The Machine of History

I can't feel life no more.
There is only disappointment in myself, in this world I breathe in.
Everything feels like punishment.
This is the beginning of everything, finish line of dead end.
I see strangers blood on my hands.
Their leaving screams rush trough the machine of history.

There is someone who lives inside me.
They haunt me down, when I fall in a sleep.
Even though the piano plays for my doom.

Silence dies into tomorrow
only darkness ... here.
And I have wars inside my own soul.
With strangers, who have fire in their eyes.
And from now there is only soft sadness.
A polluted wound.
And there is a creature growing inside my cell,
Who weave a net for my sinking.

There is a Pandora's Box, unleashed inside me.
My mind is ill, broken is the soul.
My body don't know how to go on.
My sanity is everything and but yet nothing.

Where is the peace? Where is the end of this never stoping machine?

/MHK
june, 2006
Inspiration: Novembers Doom-The Knowing

I see Death



My window of life are open
I shoud close it
My sunshine of life are black
I shoud paint it
My bock of stories are told
I shoud trow it
My eyes show me death
I see Death

Journey when sun are rising
In room whit dusk and pain
Journey when rain are raining
My hair are winding nd Im going insne
Journety when someone dieing
Realit are in mirror, but we see lies

My eyes show me death
I see death

My death...I will see it?
My live...Will show it?
My pain...will kill it?
My eyes...I see death!

This is what I see and feel thats all!

@Torelli: Thank you my dear for understanding , and well yeah I think a poem's heart is the most important thing , but yeah there's a thread for that and we missed it Lol , poet's life ..anyways I 'll post more quotes and don't worry ....

Hey guys =) I haven't been here for sooo long. The strange thing is, that almost none of the poets that used to post here, has posten in this one..:s

Anyways, here's some commenting :

@ belgianmetalman : Seriously man, this a great poem ! The rhyming is great, and i love the atmosphere in it. Really dark and grim! Keep up the good work man !

@ Collacteral : This poem is nice, it's pretty simple i think, but still so meaningful and interesting. I like the story, and the end is cool too:) Keep up!

@ Kariasakis7 : Great, so deep and great ! Only one thing i think could be changed..since all the stanzas are rhyming,except the first one, it gets a little odd.
I personally think it would sound better if the first one was like this :

One morning, I open my window,
Open it, and what do I see?
I'm getting older,
And lady death is there for me.

This is just a thought, but i think it's get better then:) Anyway, good poem ! Keep up the good work=)

@ Torelli : Great ! Just..great ! I love the words you use, and i think this poem would fit in a black metal song:) It's so dark and atmospheric. Really great !

@ Kariasakis7 : "I am Alone" is an ok poem, but i didn't quite like it very well. I don't know exactly why, it's just that this poems doesn't give me much feelings, like a poem should. I think it get's boring and repeative, but that's just my opinion;) Anyway, keep writing !

@ Penance : "Damned" is a good poem, but something is missing. I feel that the theme has been used over and over, so it takes more to impress me now,but i think you did a good job with this poem:) It's dark, it's emotionful, and i enjoyed reading it:)

@ Soliloquy : "*pant* " ..hm,what can i say ? The theme you are writing about in this poem, is maybe not the most used in poems, but i have the feeling that i have read this like thousand times before. On the other hand, i really like it ! *Confused!* I don't know why, but it's so filled with emotions, and it certainly has a great atmosphere:)

"Sweet child of mine" Well, this is truly good. When i read it, i kinda picture a gothic theme, and everything very bleak and dark. I like this poem, you are doing great:)
Keep writing !

@ Angel Deformity : This one is good, it seems like it is written in pure hate. You manage to express feelings, and you are writing really good:) Atmospheric and emotionful ! Keep up the good work !

@ BloodTears : Great ! Very atmospheric, and emotionful. I like the way you write Keep writing !

Sorry for not commenting everything here, but i wanted to at least comment so all the poets that have posted here on page 2 could get some comments:)
Now, here's some of my poems:D Enjoy!

[The Ocean

This magic place, dark and cold,
Evil at night,all the stories told,
Raging waves in a pale horizon,
The ocean purifies your soul.

Deadly water,with lust to kill,
Waves too strong,make you feel ill,
Boats are swalloed in the deep,
The ocean purfifies your soul.

And deadly as the ocean is,
Passion is there too,
In this place so dark and cold,
The ocean truly purifies your soul.

In Silence Drowned

For eternities the silence,
Has hunted you with quiet violence,
Drowned in tranquilty,with furious pains,
As the quietness kills you,the hate remains.

Because your soul,deprived and bleeding,
For each silence moment,the dark is seeding,
The raging mind is tearing you apart,
In every sense,with an aching heart.

Your mind bewildered in silent solitude,
And your eyes are weeping blood,
You are engulfed,and in silence drowned.


In Solitude For Thee

I gaze at the ocean,so bleak and dark,
raging waves that penetrates the nightsky.
The northstar that shines,down at the sea,
so silent,in solitude for thee.

The spirits of the sea has now awaken,
it's a token- a vision that is taken.
In dreams and visions,i have seen macabre corpses,
i have seen the spirits marching,into the forest.

The spirits that were once asleep,
has once again awaken,
it is a signal and a token,
a vision that no longer is unspoken.

In solitude,in embracement,
a burden from the sea,
once dead spirits now awaken,in solitude for thee

Eclipsed Northstar

In my lucid dreams of hell,the nightmare soon begins,
open my shattered perspectives of the world.
Eclipsing the true beauty,and the dim mist,
arisen from those ashes,which where eclipsed.

The northstar i searched,and i have found what i shall love,
the light upon the darkening sky,the northstar,where i shall die.

Those beams,so magnificent upon the forest,
how the light is reflected upon the lakes of night.
The northstar is,and shall forever be,my true guiding light.

@Collacteral...The Machine of History...
The theme is common, but you avoid most of the traps in it. You really did a good affort to catch the inner despair, and not the selfpity that is so hard to avoid in those kind of poems. Nicely written!

@Kariasakis7...I see death...
I got the feeling that you live a not so healthy life with lots of alcohol and smoking, I'm I correct? (If I offended you here I'm deeply sorry). Always staring death in the eyes, knowning that the end could come any second. I think what this poem is all about. Like I said before, with small words you create masterpices. Very nice...

@Icewings: So obvoius, I guess it was too nearby for us to detect it. I would really dicsuss those things with you someday!

@Trollet: Thank you. But if you are refering to the untitled poem, I'm afraid that you have missinterpreted it rather largely. You see, the poem deals with something that is often the opposit to black metal lyrics: the rising of Jesus Christ and the final victory over Satan. But I welcome other interpretions though.

Now to your poems...The Ocean...
How nice! As I read your words I can picture this cold Ocean, so wild but get so inviting. The sea has always been a place for us to recover, to melt new expressions. With a few stanzas you have explained the relationship between the ocean and mankind. A nice piece of art....

...In silence drowned....
To me, this poem is about a person who never have given people a chance, and as a result of that, the society has rejected him. This, of course, effects him strongly. He hates people but inside the solitude is tearing him apart. This a really tragic theme, but it also something to reflect upon. Once again, a really good poem...

...In solitude for thee...
I have a strong feeling that I have commented it before...but it doesn't hurt to comment it again. Io be honest, it's hard for me to understand this poem, but I will try to interpret it. For me, this poem is about a lonely sailsman who have seen all the negative parts of Ocean. But despite all the negative parts he still loves it as it's all company he has left in this world. A love-hate relationship to be more specific. The rythm flowed well, a very nice reading.

...Eclipsed Northstar...
Somehow, I see this poem as a salute to scandinavia....In a way, it remind me of my country's national anthem song, but this one has more serinity in it, rather then nationalism. It seems it's a simple admiration of the beautiful landscapes that surounds us. Very nice.