Written by Torelli on 10.06.2006 at 23:49



@Kariasakis7...I see death...
I got the feeling that you live a not so healthy life with lots of alcohol and smoking, I'm I correct? (If I offended you here I'm deeply sorry). Always staring death in the eyes, knowning that the end could come any second. I think what this poem is all about. Like I said before, with small words you create masterpices. Very nice...

Man i dont smoke, i use to, read my first post in "why did you start/stop smoking'
about alcohol, i love it its my hope I like wine and tequilla
NP dude about all you say, but i dont think its masterpiece, its what I feel
I just thinking what i do when finish school, work i hate it better death how working day by day

@Kariasakis7: I'm sorry, it was not polite of me to say such a thing. I guess I was fooled be the cynism in the poem. I'm glad it wasn't that worse though. Good that you stopped smoking, but you should try to cut down with the alcohol to. But I stand by my words: it's a great poem.

Written by Torelli on 11.06.2006 at 17:56

@Kariasakis7: I'm sorry, it was not polite of me to say such a thing. I guess I was fooled be the cynism in the poem. I'm glad it wasn't that worse though. Good that you stopped smoking, but you should try to cut down with the alcohol to. But I stand by my words: it's a great poem.

Dude we all are metalheads, so we arent polite, and you can ask what you want, and I dont care about it,
Smoking-Ismoke cigars once in month when get some money, but its not snoking, I enjoy them how sweet women ;lol;

Alcohol, man i drink wine when eating, its nothing bad, same whit Tequilla, when eating, i dont like drink to getting drunk, i tste alcohol, I know when its enought for me, and I newer will drink more how useualy, but some cant understand it, thats why i prefere drink alone how go to stupid parties, where all drink vodka, i like enoy alcohol, but in street are no special wine glass and tequilla I cut my finger of trying cut lemmons

Alcoholic are my rolle i life, to see how much people realy care about me, not my money(I dont hwe it0 and so...

This is currently untitled, but tis bout hate and the things it makes us do..

Embody the hate,
The words which flow,
Stream the disgust inside of you
Pure malice and hatred take shape,
can you not believe
Your own eyes?

Rotting in pain,
Scarred and bleeding it shows,
it screams the vengeance
Beside you,
the Hatred takes shape of your body

The Black flame is raging!

Violence bellows like the ocean,
Far from healing,
beg forgiveness and get on your knees
Make it up to us by the hate you breed,
Embody the pain,
sacrifice youself to us!

Fornicating, Gluttounus, Wicked, Decieving,
Take your wisdom and fuck off,
Embody the Sacrifice!

well you guys know me.. my stuff usually looks more like lyrics, but hey, who's to judge? maybe it is..



Liquid Reflections


I never thought that I could feel this loneliness
I never thought that I could feel
And nowadays I feel this emptiness
It wasn't supposed to be this real

I never wanted to be gone
I just wanted to be invisible
To what's going on

I never wanted to be gone
I just wanted to be invisible
Invisible, invisible in your arms

How could your eyes be so cold, like the winters among us?
Every snowdrrop's like my soul
You're just a faded memory
In a delusional mind, that's me
Creating all this cold

No, I never wanted this
No, I never wanted this
Like a blade cutting in
A rusted blade cutting in
Into my wrist

And I
I never wanted to be gone
Just unseen amongst the blind
So I wouldn't have to hide
Through all the storms

You're just a mirror
Reflecting all the tears
Creating all the madness
Invisible, Invisible to me

It's nice to see there is a poetry thread with a chance of becoming something. It felt rather dead the last time I visited the previous one, to be honest. I still see myself as a part of it, so I hope you still remember me and my writings.

Hellraizer - untitled
Wow, that poem is quite different from what I have used to read in here. I say it's a realistic description of hate and hateful thoughts, a piece of advice that doesn't sound like a sermon. You seem to explain that it is absolutely okay to hate something, because it is a healthy feeling. I wouldn't have written it differently, maybe expressed the message in some other ways (which is why poetry is wonderful, you don't share your own writing style with anyone else, even if your views matched with theirs), but still pretty much agreed for the most part. You haven't forgotten either that if the poem is about hate, then there is got to be some intensity within it, and that's probably the reason why there are exclamation marks and a curse word used. They are important parts in the whole picture. And that picture is good.

Frostling - Liquid Reflections
Well, at the moment I saw you had posted your lyrics I knew what to expect to read, and I wasn't surprised. Sure, it's emotional and fragile as usual, but it seems like it's not much different from most of your works. I know I must sound rather negative and picky while saying this, but I feel like I have read those lyrics before, not the same words, but the same feeling. Maybe I am not the right person to point this out, because I also have the same problem just as well. This sadness thing is getting old pretty fast, but I still keep writing about it. But I am sure it will be great if you bring along something new with it next time, because with your skills I know it should be possible. That painting attachment is quite nice and a refreshing idea to make the lyrics more alive, just too bad that it's more interesting than the written part.

Here is a summer poem for you all. I tried to include some questions in it, I haven't done it quite often, but I wanted to see if it could work. And I know it's not August yet, but we can always pretend that it is.

Seasons to Come, Chapter VIII: Rhetorical August?

Why nothing of it mattered if I could just have everything
Is beyond what even I could ever understand
How to bid welcome to a change so often before seen
After having felt it die to breathe again another day?

Should I call this a nightmare from which to fear waking?
Would I have enjoyed it if I hadn't seen the ending?
If the more I will be given the more I go on missing
How come there's something lost for nothing gained?

I used to watch some of my memories chase each other sometimes
And notice that it's funny how much they differ from the other ones
What is the meaning of sharing them with myself only
As if none of them actually remained and therefore never happened?

How much more often shall I witness this repetition?
Will I ever grow sick of years without a surprise?
Could I even once forget that an autumn will take you away again
If you promised to spend the rest with me this time?

And then we would paint their heavens with our colours together
Like we always used to do when nothing was enough
Is it all worth trying to close distances between us
That also separate me from dreams once given to me?

So do I again have to let you fall asleep for eight long months?
Why won't it all stay like this to the end?
Is it my fate to be happy and fallen in love again
Or to be torn and fallen in hate with myself?

Dead Son

lock deeper in memories
where past are real
fell it when you are there
life isnt same what I use to fell

death
love and hate
Are love no faith
life

Even death are one feeling
you kill one
eve death are hope
you kill one
Even death are dream
you kill one

Sickness
time I hate you
Orgams
I rape you
Blood
I see you

Dusks of time are on your window
Kock at ring, it belongs to your widow

lock deeper in memories
where past are real
fell it when you are there
life isnt same hat i use to fell


Just one more kaotic poem of me, its only words whit out maning, maybe firts and last line, other just games whit worlds.

I am back... sorry for the lateness but I've been real busy! Nice to see some people returning and also commenting as well! Thats really great!

@Graveheart ~ That was really nice! Seriously... the pace was slow and steady and your phrasing of the questions was beautiful! I really enjoyed it and saw the whole idea of the seasons and how they fit in with each question. I loved it! It really made me think when I read it and it had this calm about it that was so accepting in its sorrow. I was quite honestly amazed!

@Kariasakis7 ~ I liked your poem, although I had to think in some places because of the spelling (I am in no way meaning to offend you there, so please do not take that personally). I really like the simpleness of your poems which is also evident in this one. Your poem, 'Dead Son', really plays on that simpleness and uses the words as a way of breaking through it and giving it meaning (though lacking in this one). Although I am sorry to say I could not see how the words were meant to fit in with the title. I kind of saw it but it was hard to find. Anyways... I did truly like it and hope to see more from you.

@Frostling & Hellraizer ~ Loved both of your poems, sorry I couldn't comment on them both but I don't really have that much time. But I will say they were both really intense! Hope to see more from you both and give you more feedback!

Here is another poem for you guys to tear apart... hope you enjoy...

Eyes of a Dreamer

Silence mysitifies the dreamer,
falling into a darkness that is
the slumber of eternity.

Thy death, seeking peace
from the cries of life.

Like autumn leaves,
golden as the sun, in the night
dying in the depths of red.

Voices whisper, the dreamer lost,
hopeless attempts at capturing
a flickering image.

As a flame is extinguished,
so is the light in those
dark hazel eyes.

The eyes of a dreamer.

The eyes that delved
into time and immersed
themselves in a world
all their own.

A journey, a path,
into oblivian.

@Graveheart,
thanks for comments, same to you Penance, I can see where you are coming from, Im so casual with my poems and most of them are made for music actually, thats the reason for the cursing, I guess I should focus more on building intensity with words rather than primate like vocabulary if I want to make REAL poetry.

Written by Guest on 16.06.2006 at 08:06


@Kariasakis7 ~ I liked your poem, although I had to think in some places because of the spelling (I am in no way meaning to offend you there, so please do not take that personally). I really like the simpleness of your poems which is also evident in this one. Your poem, 'Dead Son', really plays on that simpleness and uses the words as a way of breaking through it and giving it meaning (though lacking in this one). Although I am sorry to say I could not see how the words were meant to fit in with the title. I kind of saw it but it was hard to find. Anyways... I did truly like it and hope to see more from you.

I just write what I feel, us I sad begining are about ne, but other part just game whit words, I dunnno, but i cant write them in corect grammer on english, its hard, I think english talking people can understand what i try to say,
I think best poems are simple, dep, Im not suck a deep poet and in english its hard write complicated and eep poem, because its hard.

Yep I will write something new soon, now its summer I enjoy it

Maybe I post some old poems.

BTW your poemas are great too, but I sad it to trolleri Im not suck poet to coment them, i cant but i love readong them.

Just another Case

Don't give any apologies.
There is only rage in you
Don't tell me that you wanna live just like me
Just like me
All I know, that you've got fake dreams
And lies lay on your hands
Lies of humanity

You are a slave
And the mass is your master
You are a puppet
And the world is the doll maker

People love to create weakness
Inside your mind
Hold on, you are so empty
You are so empty
Pull the gun
Let this bullet fly through your head
You are no one
Just another case to the police

You are a slave
And the mass is your master
You are a puppet
And the world is the doll maker

MHK
03.05.2006
Inspiration: Slide-Fifty (L)

this is yet another one of my simple poems. i can write some really complex and confusing stuff. and some really simple and easy to understand stuff. this one falls between both of them. its written in a simple way, but hard to understand. i'll tell you what i'm talking about it sometime later on.

Mona Lisa or quite these paintings are...

oh no...no no!
just look what i have done.
why couldn't i make them green?
or paint your hair lighter?

so crule
so rare
so mean
so harsh

i want her now.
she possessed my dreams.
dont you keep staring at me!
speak to me at once!
i've said so much
it's rude for me not to listen you breathe.
escape it;
come out of the canvas...at once.
just come out to me now.

so crule
so rare
so beautiful

i'm suppose to look for you.
my lips are turning blue, because
i speak and speak to you!
why cant i paint myself
on the canvas beside you?
wouldnt that be something?

so pure
so rare
so beatiful
so perfect

why did i paint you,
when nothing will ever equal you?
look what you make me do.
talk to you all day long!




do i know...? yes, i guess i do...i dont want to know, but i love the way it sounds.


----------------------------

hint, there was a greek myth based on it. except it had soemthing to do with a man, and a statue that he created.

Your Rotten Lips

I falt in garden of you
trees paint me blue
and then I saw
somthing what I unlice

Shadows moving closer
heritage are my dreams
in life I was looser
it's not how it seams?

Shadows are your lips
Your rotten lips
Your rotten lips try kill me
Your rotten lips try kiss me
Your rotten lips are cold
If you kiss me I be so old ... dying

Some liquide unite us
Its paint us red
Some stories...
You know about me

I hate you
I hate your rotten lips
I hate your kiss

LOOK

We're not as different,
As we seem to be,
There's so much more to me,
Than what you see,

Please look a little closer,
See what you can find,
You just might notice,
A unique person inside.

Don't judge me by my cover,
For I am not a book,
Please, just this once,
Take a closer look.

You may like what you see,
But then you might not,
At least you will know,
That you gave ME a shot,


Poisonous Tears

The drops they fall,
Into my wound,
Meshing with my blood.

These drops are tears,
My blood ablaze,
Ravaging my soul.

My wounded heart,
Shattered pieces,
You did this to me.

My life like glass,
Loosely broken,
Which slowly falls apart.

You stole my heart,
You stole my love,
Then you torched them both.


Rescued Savior

So hurt and torn,
So self-protective,
Life was cruel to you.

You heart is scarred,
Your feelings dark,
You felt abandoned.

A ray of hope,
A possible savior,
An angel in distress.

You saved her,
She saved you,
A life together,
Forever in Love.

These three are my favorite of all of the poems that I have ever written. They are from the periods of my life when I was depressed, dumped by my first love, and rescued again by my new love respectively. I write with my emotion and when I write, most times I don't even know what I have written until I am done.

If you would like to read more of my poetry, please feel free to read my poetry page where all of my poems are kept.
http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/tristacoates

The Wall(Nothing whiit Pink Floyd

Life will take me to uncnown gardens
Where can i see the poet wall
Mountainhs are cover in filosophy
They let me write on thsi wall

Under The Wall
I see the life and it call's me beck
I want see it but I cant
I kill the stories kill them good
Live my life for fun shood

Written by Soliloquy on 17.06.2006 at 00:24

Mona Lisa or quite these paintings are...

This piece is perhaps the most interesting of what I have seen on Metalstorm of late.

...To put it another way; its the only piece I've felt like pointing out recently.

Nice work.

Written by Bad English on 11.06.2006 at 18:08

Dude we all are metalheads, so we arent polite.

And on this point: Where is it written that fans of heavier-than-average music cannot be polite and courteous towards their fellow?

Written by Guest on 18.06.2006 at 15:24

Written by Soliloquy on 17.06.2006 at 00:24

Mona Lisa or quite these paintings are...

This piece is perhaps the most interesting of what I have seen on Metalstorm of late.

...To put it another way; its the only piece I've felt like pointing out recently.

Nice work.

Written by Bad English on 11.06.2006 at 18:08

Dude we all are metalheads, so we arent polite.

And on this point: Where is it written that fans of heavier-than-average music cannot be polite and courteous towards their fellow?

in this case I eman I dont care about how people cal me and what say to me

Dying

The Small Child who are hopeing
believs dream will be real
The man who was hopeing
Hates thet dream whom he belives

Sing for me
Dying boy
Sing this song about life

Play for me
Dying man
Play this song what makes your life happy

Prayers are begining
In Dark grdens where raven are living
games what dying boy playing
Are for me
Songs wht dying man are writting
Are about me

Time for some commentry...

@Hellraizer:...untitled...
In this poem, I interpret that hate is necisary, that we should let the hate flow out from us instead to storage it inside ourselves. "Rotting in pain,/Scarred and bleeding it shows, /it screams the vengeance/Beside you, the Hatred takes shape of your body" Just that stanza is brilliant, shows exactly what you want out of your poem. As I'm a person that prefer few words with an abilty of lots of interpretion, I feel that this stanza should be the hole poem or at least the mayor part in it. Anyhow, it's a great poem.

@Frostling...Liquid Reflections...
I'm sure this poem would've worked great with music, but the lyrics doesn't stand alone. The reason is that I can't shake of the feeling that we have seen all this before. I like the finishing stanza though, few words but hitting you like a fist. Try to work more with the orginality, and I'm sure that you will come up with a great poem.

@Graveheart:...Seasons to Come, Chapter VIII: Rhetorical August?...
If I'm not misstaking you were the one who presented a poem for every month of the year? I like the idea to present some feelings with help of a month. This one seems to deal about a character who finds comefort in the month August. The poem seems to be reminicent, painting the memories of the character's life. I enjoyed reading it.

@Kariasakis7:...dead son...
I think this poem is painting the agony to losing a beloved person. Even if you say that the poem is mostly "playing with words", you somehow create a message in it. It's not one of your best ones, but it's certainly worth reading it.

@Penance:...Eyes of a Dreamer...
The poem has a somewhat bitter tone in it. A person who were once full of dreams but was hit by reality. The starting lines is very good, but I think it could be "your death" instead of "thy death", it suits better with the rest of the poem. It's a nice poem, but remember to keep the rythm in it, even if you have an advanged word usage in it.

@Collacteral...Just another Case...
The poem seems to be dedicated to those who infests our society. Even if I don't think one should see anything in black and white, I can't deny that the poem has a message and a thought behind it. The word usage is good and the poem flows nice. Looking forward to read some more of your works.

@Soliloguy:...Mona Lisa...
I'm afraid that I fail to catch the real interpretion of this poem, but I can tell you about mine. For me, this is about an unsucessful painter, consantly overshadowed by greater painters. He/she sees Mona-lisa as the prime example if a painting, the masterpiece of masterpieces. Nothing equal to it will never be created. He seeks comefort in it, get it draws him to the dust. I understand that this poem has some sort of symbolism in it, but I can't find it. It's well done though.

@Kariasakis7...your rotten lips...
Could this poem be about death? Giving death a disguise of a deciving lady. In that case, I once again must praise you for your poem. Nice one!

@Flareheart:...Look...
To not judge a book after is cover, that phrase is very common. Your poem is painting that quote. It's beautiful and easy to follow, but it lacks a bit orginality. This way, the message is smashed into your face, but it's hard to take it into you. I had a feeling that the reason why it faulted in orginality is beacuse it ryhmed in every sentence, perhaps this poem cuould be better with no rhymes at all...

...Poisonous Tears...
With the rhyming gone and still the ryhtm in it, you succeded better with this one. The feeling of betrayal is a strong emotion, able to tear apart a person completely. With those lines, you have explained quite well how you felt. A good one.

...Rescued Savior...
This one I like! The poem is painting two fragile figures finding each other in the dark. Really beautiful! Few words, get so full of meaning.

@Kariasakis7...The wall...
Short, but get so full of words... I shiver when I read this. These words represent a poet to me, who lost his talent, even if he had the pontential to make it to the top. Instead this poet lived as if everyday was his last, and therefore his talent disapeared. What's makes it good it's that he doesn't seem to care about, instead he feels liked he lived the life he wanted, only a single sting of regret comes to his mind. At least it's how I interpret this poem. A few lines can represent so much...wonderful work!

...Dying...
The poem has a somewhat serene tone in it. To me, the poem represent ageing, painting the good and bad sides about it. a nice one.

....
Few, I'm done. I'm sorry if the comments were somewhat short, but I hope I got my message through...

I think this one is better in swedish, but oh well...


"Path of all wonders"

The sky is invincible
a ladybug's dance
at an languishing bridge

Light is everywere
conceals it like
the dance fades
in silent harmony i

The gate is open
for he who seeks it
a swallow's attempt to breath

Blue, black and red
it still exist
breathing forms us

Those breaths are
live's mystery
the path to all wonders

If we only had the courage to seek

EDIT: The swedish version...

Himmelen är osynlig
en nyckelpigas dans
vid en smäktande brygga

Ljus från alla håll
döljer den såsom
dansen ebbar ut
i stilla harmoni

Porten är öppen
för den som söker den
en svalas försök att andas

Blå, svart eller röd
den finns där likväl
andetag formar oss

De andetagen är
livets mysterium
porten till alla under

Om vi bara vågar leta

@Torelli About Dead Son - its mor eabout lost not dying but lost emotaaly, because of diferent tast of live, diferent feelings, philosophy of life, and its about lost days of my life, just remebe rhow it was when I was young, all was diferent, i swimming, life was diferent how now
I just go to place where my grandmother lives, i use to spend there summers, it was my home, still are but now are different, even watter in river are diferent, even watter tast there different, oly skys remaind me about past, and its like "lost son of life"

Soon i gonna eddit it

You Rotten Lips - it can be abouth death to, becaus eits lady, but maybe its of afraid of first kiss and naughty: its about ugly hinks in realationships whit man and women, about love and trade, who hurt, and it can be abouth death, ewerything, I just write it

The Wall - Its yeah I lost my talant, I had period when I can write 2-4 good poems and than Im amty for weeks, so and its inspirated from Rainbow songs "Long Live Rock N Roll"

Dying - Well its game of words its more song how poem and there are grammer mistaces

@ Flareheart
Wow, those are some very nice pieces. I really like them, especially "LOOK". A classic issue presented in a smooth and flowing way. Nice work, and I'll surely check out that link later. And sorry I don't have any deep analyses for them.

@ Kariasakis7
I know this sounds lame but I really can't get over all the spelling mistakes, grammar etc. It distracts me greatly to have to guess what you mean by some of the words that are misspelled, no offense. I'm very picky in that sense. I'll try to comment the poem "Dying". I like the jump/contrast in time and it's very smoothly done in such a short poem which is nice. Also I can find opposite emotions mixed smoothly into the essence which I've always been interested in. I would comment on your other poems too but I really don't know what to say. My advice however is that you'd run your pieces through some spell check program/site and possibly let a skilled friend check for grammar and spelling mistakes. Other than that I have no complaints.

@ Torelli
"Path of all wonders" Nice. To me it feels like lyrics of some atmospheric and calm song, I can almost hear the music, hehe. For some reason however, I can't quite get into it. I have hard time connecting some of it together. I'm sure it's just me and my current state of illness that I can't think/imagine it right now. Perhaps you could edit your post to add the Swedish version of it? I'd like to see it.


Okay I have one finished (?) now. This one has a very basic structure. I started it as power metal lyrics piece but somehow it just didn't please me, so it evolved and it's almost completely different than what I was going for at first. I ended up trying to form it so that it has a sharp contrast between two different interpretations. One being just a straight epic fantasy story (remnant of the power metal lyric phase), and another one a highly symbolic story of inner struggle of beliefs, acts and regrets. And maybe there's a third one reserved for all the individual interpretations. The music of Arcana, Dahlia's Tear and Drudkh has been a great inspiration.


Black Arrows

On the road to the citadel
Flooded with taken life
I am just an infidel
Wading towards the afterlife
Not afraid to admit
With drained emotions
Just a war conduit
The lamest of champions

The swarm of arrows
Dark as vacuum
The cloud swallows
Our minds into the gloom
Projectiles fatal
Drilling through my chest
Through once shiny metal
Thorns devour my flesh

The pools of blood
Reflecting the grin
Of a vicious god
Wish I could sin...

Above our warriors forlorn
Endearing us only a moon so torn

History steers a wicked hearse
The page will remain blank
Marking the end of our verse

Our forces fail on both flanks
Time slows down to tease us
As black arrows rain upon our ranks

@Torelli: yeah, thats the reaction i mostly get with other readers. nothing wrong with your reading though. i tend to get really random at times. but what that paiece is talking about is an artist who painted this girl. and once he painted her, he started falling in love with the face he painted. with that, he spends day and night, just talking to the painting, and he is dying becuase of it. like his lips are turning blue becuase of it. he then starts wondering why he didnt paint himself beside her, just so he could be closer to her, but all she does is stare at him and driving him crazy. he starts getting angry at himself for painting her, and then sort of hints towards what he doesnt like in women. like when he said 'why couldnt i paint the hair lighter? or the eyes green'. thats basically saying the exact opposite. he likes the dark hair and dark eyes thing, and if he painted the oposite, then he might not have fallen in love with her. and the name, mona lisa, at first i thought it didnt really have any significance to the poem. its just a name. butthen i started thinking about it, and it almost sounds like da vinci painted that, and it was his prespective.

and near the end, he starts talking to him self about if he knows if that is a painting he has fallen in love with. he realises that he does, but doesnt really want to know, becuase to fall in love with the painted face sounds too good to him.



"Path of all wonders"

i like this piece. i'm sure it would have been better in swedish, but this shall do. i really liked the second stanza. neat comparison of a dance that fades away, and then to mention light. its cool coz light isnt really 'matter' or 'action' and dance doesnt really fade away, but its sort of a paradox, yet makes sense and cool too. and i'm not sure what the point of having the 'black, blue and red' was. that to me came as soemthing that i didnt understand. and i think the poem is talking about finding the path that life leads us through. its just aht we do not see that the path is aready there for us. this path conceals what is good and evil, or what is the lesser evil of the two. so hey, good job man

@KryptoN Man I know this is out of topic, but I can not write better, I try hard but stuill I dunno howe corect spell this or that, one t or 2, so sice priview button are gone its harder for me.

Mabybe Im dum

Written by Bad English on 19.06.2006 at 22:52

@KryptoN Man I know this is out of topic, but I can not write better, I try hard but stuill I dunno howe corect spell this or that, one t or 2, so sice priview button are gone its harder for me.

Mabybe Im dum

Yeah I know it's hard for some people and as I said I didn't mean to offend or anything. And most people don't have a problem with that, neither should I, but I guess I'm a perfectionist in that sense (and I do know that I don't have the best grammar either). But what about the preview button? You can preview your messages in the edit box. Anyways this is quite off-topic so...

The Fin

I trample the roses that grow on your grave
& cry the curses that were promises you made.
Even though you can feel the pain.
Even though you don't care.

You were the one who made my world go blind
& I hoped that you were more
than the stories about lies you despised
& you were the one who made me believe
every sense of your love.

If you could only hear this dust
falling on my face.
The dust of my bitter cell
in my own hell.

You were the one to whom I was
only a falling sky.
& you didn't know the whole truth
& you were afraid of losing my soul.
Even though when I was gone long ago.

27th may 2006
/MHK

before brakeing up with my boyfriend.

A sort, just like the title, it's totally nothing, i need correction in my grammar, if you don't mind.

Nothing

Ended, say that it's all end
Blight of sorrow spread it's wing
Silent, no silence about to break
Mad, nothing is what happen everyday
Forget me if i'm wrong
Shallow mind, know nothing except nothing
Should i speak?
Should i whine?
Should i scream?
Not for now, not for tomorrow, not forever
If you don't want to live, just die

I will comment later today...but for now a poem:

"Sailing"

I will sail a thousand miles
while I sink
submarines will take me by
slowly, they guide me
to shore, secretly
making me find supportive boats

Those boats drives me
just above the ground
but to be able to float
I need atleast two lifeboats

With those ships combined
I search for what I must find
a comeforting sea
something real
something that makes me feel

Something that prevents me to rot
and safetly guides me to the docks

A mothership, if you say
that something that makes me sail
a twist in stripes
the secrecy in life

A Web of Despair

I'm standing on the edge.
Trough the skyline reach snowy desert.
The blade of grass scratching my feet
And above the skies ring clouds this song
You singed centuries ago.
I've fought for honor and peace.
Fought with shadows,
Who've lost on the worn roads
And who've ran away
From your blind passion.

This world of frozen hearts,
I've exiled for a long time now.
Nights are wintry here.
There's a sickness I must bare.
Like a heavy sand, where are buried my songs
And when the day begins once again
Secretly I weep away words
What I've gathered into the cradle of tears

I want back these days,
When my eyes saw and heart felt.
The snow falls down on my weak hands.
I can not breath, can not take the rope.
It's been long time now,
When you went into past of all time
And my demons have joined the Army.
The Army of broken mirrors

I've failed in my past lives
And forgotten memories fulfill this cup,
Where I've planted pieces of the old glass
Forget this time,
When we used to dance above clouds
Forget these songs,
What I used to sing to blind colors
Forget my soul
So you could finally brake free

Fly away
Far away from me
Fly away
And dance on these flowers in blue skies
Fly away

My instant falling
Sun is running trough desert
And my feet drown into white sand
This is the end of pure sunbeams
Come as shadows walking
Come as forever nights I long for
This I call a web of despair

26. August. 2005th
/Mari-Heleen Kasesalu

Collacteral: i liked to read this, it sounds as if ur telling a story which i like. I like the use of metaphors in there too. It reminds me of something i wrote some time ago and I can identify with it. It also reminds me of a good lyric for an anathema song i dunno. im imagining the melody right now...
well done.


Here it is my piece of "nothing" for today. My original poem is writen in portuguese so this is probably a bad translation.

no title

oh swirl of love that tosses inside the cauldron as if thee
blended a spell! evoke the solemn runes of the mist and
feel!

dream thou shalt know reality! do transform the emotion,
taciturn, into explosion!

release the moorings, heart, seer! dream, oh dream death's
penalty with the dawn! bring to life the obsession that rides!

grasp the rope and walk oh Empress Death! walk carpe...
mortuary exempt me from this swirl!