Rating:
3.0
Burzum - Umskiptar
21 May 2012


01. Blóðstokkinn
02. Jóln
03. Alfadanz
04. Hit Helga Tré
05. Æra
06. Heiðr
07. Valgaldr
08. Galgviðr
09. Surtr Sunnan
10. Gullaldr
11. Níðhöggr


Imagine this: During a weekend away from home, you decided to hit up as many fast food restaurants as humanly possible. But not just the major chains. You also make stops at all the small franchised take-out places that put the Triple Whopper to shame. You keep consuming and consuming until your stomach feels like it's been filled with bricks... This is a sure-fire sign that you need to take a shit. A big one. But you remember the last time you took a shit after a long weekend out... it was fucking unpleasant. And this time it's going to be much, much worse.

That's an analogy, in case you were wondering. Varg Vikernes, GENIUS MASTERMIND OF GLORIOUS BLACK METAL PROJECT Burzum, has been releasing - for lack of a better term - quite a stream of shit since his release from prison. Belus, Fallen, and now Umskiptar. Somewhere in there exists a compilation of re-recorded shit, too. Probably the result of too many trips to the little take-out chains. This shit is much different than before, however. This time around we're exposed to something far more shitty. Umskiptar marks a major departure from any of the shit Varg's been involved with before... although that doesn't necessarily mean it's not shitty as well. In fact, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it right now. This album is the worst of a bad bunch. Shit.

Having essentially moved away completely from the dark, atmospheric black metal of yore, Varg is now seemingly interested in "paying homage" to the likes of Bathory and early Enslaved by playing some stripped down version of what people back in the day called viking metal. The problem is the complete lack of anything going on. This album takes simplicity and meandering to an entirely different level. Rather than beautifully composed epic melodious black metal anthems, encouraging atmospheric tales of fantasy and historical wars, or even the traditional grim and frostbitten stylings of the second wave (of which Burzum was a significant part), Varg presents the world with his least imaginative work to date - even taking Dauði Baldrs into consideration.

I've heard more variation on a "sleep music" CD.

Picture an aging man dressed in some cheesy medieval battle costume chanting a Norse poem in his native tongue around a campfire to the same uninspired snail-paced riff that leads absolutely nowhere, beginning with the same folk-inspired "melody" as it ends with. Did I mention that all of these elements are buried deep in this weakening fuzzy production? Now picture this old man chanting to his one-dimensional folk-driven atmospheric music. Now do yourself a favor and don't bother ever making that mental image a reality.

Performance: 3
Songwriting: 2
Originality: 4
Production: 4


Band profile: Burzum
Album: Umskiptar


 



Written on 11.05.2012 by
Troy Killjoy
Just another opinionated guy telling you what to listen to.
More reviews by Troy Killjoy ››

Guest review by
ManiacBlasphemer

Rating:
8.2
Another year passes, another Burzum album is released. Since Varg Vikernes, the most controversial Norwegian figure, has been released on probation from jail, he managed to put a new album every year and 2012, the year when the Mayan "apocalypse" is supposed to take place, is no exception.

I do not know what Varg has been doing in jail. For 11 years he hasn't released a new record and in 2010 we get Belus and one year later Fallen. What can we say about Umskiptar? A new direction? Maybe, but not quite. Is it good or not? Depends on the individual. Since this is my own review I have to admit that when I listened to it first, I wasn't impressed but after a couple of auditions, I get that even Varg tries to take a step towards innovation.

Read more ››
published 27.10.2012 | Comments (2)



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Mr. Doctor - 12.06.2012 at 19:35  
Written by Troy Killjoy on 12.06.2012 at 19:33

I'll write one in comment-form, submit it in the album thread, and people can judge accordingly.

Although this requires at least listening to the album again, which is quite a lot of work just to get a fucking point across.


You are a trooper dude.
Troy Killjoy - 12.06.2012 at 20:11  
Written by Mr. Doctor on 12.06.2012 at 19:35
You are a trooper dude.

It is done.
Boxcar Willy - 12.06.2012 at 22:28  
Written by Troy Killjoy on 12.06.2012 at 20:11

Written by Mr. Doctor on 12.06.2012 at 19:35
You are a trooper dude.

It is done.

I shall read with open eyes.
Bonna - 13.06.2012 at 11:41  
Written by Mr. Doctor on 12.06.2012 at 19:09

Written by Bonna on 12.06.2012 at 18:50

Hmmm, I kinda question the quality of this website when I click on the title of this new Burzum album and first thing that is thrown at me, is this staff "review" of a guy called Killjoy. Look, I always value the critique of a "staff member", somehow I assume that these guys offer something more than the average website visitor.


Shame that after a week of registering your opinion of a website gets influenced by something so trivial like one review between the thousands we have here
Oh well, can't please anyone. I still wonder what would have happened if Troy did a "more serious" review but still kept the rating.


Nah I actually like this website, the sheer content and especially the user rating system is awesome. I wouldn't have bothered otherwise.
Hope I'm still welcome :p.
BitterCOld - 13.06.2012 at 21:34  
Written by Bonna on 13.06.2012 at 11:41

Nah I actually like this website, the sheer content and especially the user rating system is awesome. I wouldn't have bothered otherwise.
Hope I'm still welcome :p.



of course. everyone is allowed their own opinion - even if they are wrong!


As for the album/review - Troy was heavy handed in how he approached the review, but this album is mediocre in it's best moments. guitar tone sounds horrible and the early 90's Enslaved style spoken bits are awkward. when it comes up on my randomized 2012 playlist, it makes me long for the new Drudkh. at least that release is a solid mediocre.
StRicardo6 - 14.06.2012 at 03:29  
Useless review from i understand nothing!!!!!!
This bans deserve more than review like this peace of crap!!!!!!!!!!!....fu
Troy Killjoy - 14.06.2012 at 03:34  
Written by StRicardo6 on 14.06.2012 at 03:29
Useless review from i understand nothing!!!!!!
This bans deserve more than review like this peace of crap!!!!!!!!!!!....fu

I actually wasted enough of my spare time to write a "real" review of this piece of crap for the extra special users like yourself who don't seem to appreciate my sense of humor.

http://metalstorm.net/bands/album.php?album_id=59634

Right near the bottom of the page, champ.
Nicko's Nose - 18.06.2012 at 02:09  
You have to admit Alfadanz and Gullaldr (as a not metal song) are good.
Troy Killjoy - 18.06.2012 at 02:27  
Nope.
snake? snaaaake! - 18.06.2012 at 02:31  
I was bored yesterday and decided to listen to the album in its entirity rather reach track 3 and listen to filisofem instead. I wish i didnt bother.

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