Rating:
2.0
Striborg - Ghostwoodlands
28 June 2007


01. Bete Noirs
02. Wandering The Wilderness Of Eternal Misery
03. Light Anomalies In The Phantom Woods
04. With Animosity I Bequeath Thee
05. Sinister Scraping Of The Spectres
06. Ghostwoodlands
07. Descending Into Utter Despair


I can't believe I've made it to the end of this useless piece of rotten excrement. If I hadn't already heard the name of this one-man-band, I could have thought this is a parody, but unfortunately it is not. It wouldn't have been very funny anyway. And yet, as I am finding myself increasingly enjoying black metal (and especially the rawest one) every day, I thought this could do something for me. Well, it doesn't. Actually this may very well be one of the most ridiculous pieces of metal - no, of music - I've ever heard. Ok, I'm not being very fair here. I don't know whether this is good or not. HOW COULD I KNOW IF THIS IS ANY GOOD WHEN I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING?

I understand the necessity of having a raw production when it serves an artistic purpose. I mean, Lightning Bolt or Darkthrone wouldn't be the same with a crystal clear sound, now would they? But this… This is simply too much. Or not enough. This is even less professional than a live rehearsal recorded on a first generation mobile phone. The hiss you hear in the background is the guitar. Yes, this is noisy, this is annoying, this is painful, this almost made my ears bleed. The vocals? Oh, the vocals. They sound like toilets are flushed in a very deep cave with lots of echo, and then the recording of this sound is forced through some machine that will give it even more echo. It would be laughable if it was not so pathetic. The drums are simply off tempo most of the time, in an "excuse me this is my first drums lesson" kind of way. Only the bass is almost decent - almost.

And now you're gonna tell me: "Collin, you poor dumbass, you don't get it, it's ambient black metal, it's the atmospheres that matter". Yeah I know, but how do you create serious and tripping atmospheres with the keyboard I offered my 4-year old cousin last Christmas? Most interludes only consist of two veeeery looooong notes repeated over and over again. It is not atmospheric, it is stratospherically boring. When I think of it, every song consists of two simplistic riffs repeated over and over again. I found going through the twenty minutes of "Wandering The Wilderness Of Eternal Misery" was ten times as hard as quitting smoking. I assume all this was meant to be some sort of scary horror movie soundtrack, but to me this is the sonic equivalent of an Ed Wood film, if you see what I mean. I see you coming: "Collin, you lame loser, this is art!". Well, nowadays every other dumbass with illusions of grandeur calls himself an artist. A few years ago some Italian guy shat in a box, called it "art", and sold it for millions of dollars. So, excuse me.

I'm not going to waste any more of my time on this pathetic attempt at being grim. The fact that this is released by a serious label (Displeased Records, how could you commit this?) leaves me speechless. I can't believe someone proposes something that shows so much disrespect for the listeners and for the music. Please Mr Sin-Nanna, stop pretending you make music, my toilet brush shows more talent than this turd you're releasing.


PS: I give this… thing (I refuse to call it an album) 2 points for the two grammar mistakes in the first song title - it's "Bête Noire", not "Bete Noirs" - that made me laugh a little.

Performance: 2
Songwriting: 2
Originality: 3
Production: 2


Band profile: Striborg
Album: Ghostwoodlands


 


written by Deadsoulman | 20.09.2007



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Ozman - 20.09.2007 at 20:28  
Hahahahaha, great review, btw, I for 100% support you on your views of this one
Damnated - 20.09.2007 at 21:39  
Although i agree that this band is horrible, i don't get the point of this review. there have been many good black metal releases this year, why not review those? everybody knows that Striborg is a piece of crap, there's no need to hear it again.
Jeff - 20.09.2007 at 21:42  
Written by Damnated on 20.09.2007 at 21:39

Although i agree that this band is horrible, i don't get the point of this review. there have been many good black metal releases this year, why not review those? everybody knows that Striborg is a piece of crap, there's no need to hear it again.


The labels/bands send their albums to have a review. It's just normal to write these reviews (even if it's bad )

PS: Damn I read the review and I didn't laugh like that since a lot of time
Damnated - 20.09.2007 at 21:44  
Written by Jeff on 20.09.2007 at 21:42

Written by Damnated on 20.09.2007 at 21:39

Although i agree that this band is horrible, i don't get the point of this review. there have been many good black metal releases this year, why not review those? everybody knows that Striborg is a piece of crap, there's no need to hear it again.


The labels/bands send their albums to have a review. It's just normal to write these reviews (even if it's bad )


oh. how very rood. sending an album like this.
Jeff - 20.09.2007 at 21:45  
You know... terrorism is trendy nowadays
Ozman - 20.09.2007 at 21:53  
And the scary thing is that there are actually people around who really enjoy this album and the rest of Striborg's music.
Deadsoulman - 20.09.2007 at 22:12  
Written by Damnated on 20.09.2007 at 21:44

Written by Jeff on 20.09.2007 at 21:42

Written by Damnated on 20.09.2007 at 21:39

Although i agree that this band is horrible, i don't get the point of this review. there have been many good black metal releases this year, why not review those? everybody knows that Striborg is a piece of crap, there's no need to hear it again.


The labels/bands send their albums to have a review. It's just normal to write these reviews (even if it's bad )


oh. how very rood. sending an album like this.


Lol yeah, believe me, I'd rather review great music. Writing reviews on bad albums can be pretty funny, but the problem is that you have to listen to the whole thing. That's tough
White Winter Sun - 20.09.2007 at 23:41  
@Collin
"I don't know whether this is good or not. HOW COULD I KNOW IF THIS IS ANY GOOD WHEN I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING?"

@Marcel
"And the scary thing is that there are actually people around who really enjoy this album and the rest of Striborg's music."

Perhaps ask to Pequod. He rate this "thing" 10.

Two solutions:
He possess a good auditive acuteness and can help you Collin to hear something or all the subtleties . Or he's a pure fan and it's Marcel which is right.

More seriously, it is so ignoble and crappy as that? With all this elements I think don't buy this album and buy the first album. It was better rate .
I joke of course.
Ilham Cotterell - 21.09.2007 at 01:00  
Reminds me of a conversation I had with Nervel. I had exactly the same arguments Collin used in his review.

Great review, really .
Lord_Skele - 21.09.2007 at 01:19  
Maybe I'm crazy but I'd like to hear this album. Though if the review is true the listening doesn't help anyting as you can't hear the music even when listening to the cd, haha.

Cool cover image anyway, and "Ghostwoodlands" is a really interesting album title.
Asphyxia - 21.09.2007 at 07:45  
Haaahahaha I want to hear it
Lucas - 21.09.2007 at 08:51  
Written by Guest on 21.09.2007 at 01:00

Reminds me of a conversation I had with Nervel. I had exactly the same arguments Collin used in his review.

Great review, really .


Haha, now you are putting me in a bad light (don't think it was your intention). I do not like Striborg. Fun for a listen every once in a while, I need some really crappy BM once a month. I'll take Striborg or Enbilulugugal. Both shit.

And our argument was about production values.
Ilham Cotterell - 21.09.2007 at 14:22  
Written by Lucas on 21.09.2007 at 08:51


Haha, now you are putting me in a bad light (don't think it was your intention). I do not like Striborg. Fun for a listen every once in a while, I need some really crappy BM once a month. I'll take Striborg or Enbilulugugal. Both shit.

And our argument was about production values.



I just said it reminded me of it . And you know it was not my intention...
jupitreas - 21.09.2007 at 15:13  
hmm seems like something the noise music listener might actually like (some NON tracks are after all also "two veeeery looooong notes repeated over and over again"). of course, there is good noise and bad noise, im curious which one this is...
Deadsoulman - 21.09.2007 at 20:36  
Written by jupitreas on 21.09.2007 at 15:13

hmm seems like something the noise music listener might actually like (some NON tracks are after all also "two veeeery looooong notes repeated over and over again"). of course, there is good noise and bad noise, im curious which one this is...


Errr no, I really don't think so I can stand noisy stuff. I can even stand Merzbow, Wolf Eyes and stuff. But this is just very badly produced ambient black metal. Not meant to be noise. The guy's got a myspace, try it and tell me what you think. I'm curious now.
Southern Wind - 21.09.2007 at 20:41  
This is bad noise... the only worse noise I had heard in black metal is the last by stallaggh... you don't know how bad noise/black can be until you listen to that crap (at least the last album)
Lucas - 21.09.2007 at 20:52  
Written by Guest on 21.09.2007 at 20:41

This is bad noise... the only worse noise I had heard in black metal is the last by stallaggh... you don't know how bad noise/black can be until you listen to that crap (at least the last album)


Is it bad? I'm curious to know. By the way, what did you think of their other releases (the projects or their Nihilistik Terror)?
Lupas - 22.09.2007 at 00:01  
ha ha , i never laughed so much after reading a review. Good one Collin . But it leave me to have a curious to listen to this album

Edit : I even laughed more when i saw the band profile pic. But how such pic are featured here and also such bands
Lucas - 22.09.2007 at 01:21  
Written by Lupas on 22.09.2007 at 00:01

Edit : I even laughed more when i saw the band profile pic. But how such pic are featured here and also such bands


Well, believe it or not, but they do have a couple of fans in the underground scene.
Southern Wind - 22.09.2007 at 02:24  
Written by Lucas on 21.09.2007 at 20:52

Written by Guest on 21.09.2007 at 20:41

This is bad noise... the only worse noise I had heard in black metal is the last by stallaggh... you don't know how bad noise/black can be until you listen to that crap (at least the last album)


Is it bad? I'm curious to know. By the way, what did you think of their other releases (the projects or their Nihilistik Terror)?


I hadn't checked their other albums, but the last one is laughable.... hard to believe that it was made seriously... just a simple, underdeveloped wall of noise spiced with screams of some retarded, that according to the band were screamed by a "real criminal" who was asked to participate, to capture the tru essence of pure evil of the human soul blah blah blah... I don't know, I had read some reviews about Stallaggh's previous shit and they don't treat them so bad, but their new album is pathetic
Lupas - 22.09.2007 at 09:46  
Written by Lucas on 22.09.2007 at 01:21

Written by Lupas on 22.09.2007 at 00:01

Edit : I even laughed more when i saw the band profile pic. But how such pic are featured here and also such bands


Well, believe it or not, but they do have a couple of fans in the underground scene.



Yeah but in the abyss scene
insanity.peppers - 22.09.2007 at 10:50  
Why must this band be from Australia? Whyyyyy?? He screams like a freaking cartoon
Asphyxia - 22.09.2007 at 19:33  
I got the album and honestly there are some parts that I think are pretty good. It sounds better than past albums to me.
Lupas - 23.09.2007 at 15:18  
Written by Guest on 22.09.2007 at 19:33

I got the album and honestly there are some parts that I think are pretty good. It sounds better than past albums to me.



Good for you
Infurnace - 23.09.2007 at 17:37  
Hmm.. I might wanna try this album and see if it is as bad as everyone says haha . I'll post my opinion later on.
Deadsoulman - 23.09.2007 at 18:37  
Lol it seems my review has the opposite effect of what I wanted. I wrote this with a view to make it very clear that this is absolute crap and should be avoided at all costs. And now everyone wants to listen to it lol
Ozman - 23.09.2007 at 18:40  
Written by Deadsoulman on 23.09.2007 at 18:37

Lol it seems my review has the opposite effect of what I wanted. I wrote this with a view to make it very clear that this is absolute crap and should be avoided at all costs. And now everyone wants to listen to it lol


Unfortunately I already heard before you wrote the review or else I WOULD HAVE AVOIDED IT
Infurnace - 25.09.2007 at 16:15  
Man, this record really, really sucks. I hate the sound of the drums. I wish I would have avoided this band haha.
Warman - 28.09.2007 at 17:46  
I gotta hear this!
Damnated - 30.09.2007 at 23:51  
Written by Guest on 22.09.2007 at 02:24

I hadn't checked their other albums, but the last one is laughable.... hard to believe that it was made seriously... just a simple, underdeveloped wall of noise spiced with screams of some retarded, that according to the band were screamed by a "real criminal" who was asked to participate, to capture the tru essence of pure evil of the human soul blah blah blah... I don't know, I had read some reviews about Stallaggh's previous shit and they don't treat them so bad, but their new album is pathetic


Stalaggh requires mood and a certain taste. it's definitely not for everyone. before you listen to them, try to prepare for a physical trauma. then you wont be surprised. Stalaggh is painful. but can be enjoyable.

oh, and the vocals are recorded at mental asylums with several retarded people. their stimulation is the music itself.
Southern Wind - 01.10.2007 at 03:19  
Written by Damnated on 30.09.2007 at 23:51

Written by Guest on 22.09.2007 at 02:24

I hadn't checked their other albums, but the last one is laughable.... hard to believe that it was made seriously... just a simple, underdeveloped wall of noise spiced with screams of some retarded, that according to the band were screamed by a "real criminal" who was asked to participate, to capture the tru essence of pure evil of the human soul blah blah blah... I don't know, I had read some reviews about Stallaggh's previous shit and they don't treat them so bad, but their new album is pathetic


Stalaggh requires mood and a certain taste. it's defiantly not for everyone. before you listen to them, try to prepare for a physical trauma. then you wont be surprised. Stalaggh is painful. but can be enjoyable.

oh, and the vocals are recorded at mental asylums with several retarded people. their stimulation is the music itself.


a screaming retard is not painful... just annoying
Damnated - 01.10.2007 at 10:53  
Written by Guest on 01.10.2007 at 03:19

a screaming retard is not painful... just annoying


the music causes you pain, not the vocals.
Southern Wind - 02.10.2007 at 01:26  
Written by Damnated on 01.10.2007 at 10:53

Written by Guest on 01.10.2007 at 03:19

a screaming retard is not painful... just annoying


the music causes you pain, not the vocals.


I'm inmune to pain, then
Slayer666 - 05.02.2009 at 00:15  
The review itself is excelent, although this... how Collin calls it... THING can't be that bad, can it? I didn't hear any songs yet, but Collin is a pretty strict reviewer, so I really have to check out the album to see if he's right.

EDIT: Wow. Wow. Is this album even real? By that, I mean I can't find a single track anywhere, not even on Net, Youtube, ANYWHERE! I did, however find some other Striborg stuff, and it also fits the review pretty darn nicely. Pathetic noises. Although, you can kind of hear a guitar in the background that tries to create a depresive atmosphere, but you can't even hear the damn thing. The only thing you can hear is the sound like in the construction sites.

EDIT #2: If the production and vocals were better (a whole lot better, though) this could pass up as average.
Slayer666 - 05.02.2009 at 00:20  
Written by Deadsoulman on 23.09.2007 at 18:37

Lol it seems my review has the opposite effect of what I wanted. I wrote this with a view to make it very clear that this is absolute crap and should be avoided at all costs. And now everyone wants to listen to it lol

Hey, just like they say, there is no bad publicity! And you gave this album some pretty horrible marks, that sounds even more attractive to people than rating it like an average one.
Eviscerator - 07.07.2009 at 10:50  
Ghostwoodlands... Very similar to all of his works as everyone knows, however I'm posting simply in an attempt to defend this project, Striborg. I do not understand why everyone is so displeased with this project. I'm extremely surprised about the negative review after negative review and a horrible lack of fans. I found Striborg one day, flipping about the net as I do on a regular basis in a search for music. I popped in "Solitude", and I sat patiently in a dark room, possibly searching for influence of my own. What had beheld my ears was not special, however, rather droning and simple as everyone says BUT... I felt the atmosphere that no one else seems to grasp. Does Sin Nanna wear stupid corpse paint? Check. Are his songs droning, with no sign for musical talent? Maybe, yeah I'll take that. I still felt what Black Metal was all about. I was highly disturbed, depressed, and transported into an entirely different dark world. Two thumbs up for the three albums I own of his: "Ghostwoodlands, Solitude, and Atumnal Melancholy", and I'll be sure to grab more of his discography. Ok now everyone get mad at me.
Doc Godin - 11.09.2009 at 11:47  
Written by Ozman on 20.09.2007 at 21:53

And the scary thing is that there are actually people around who really enjoy this album and the rest of Striborg's music.

No there isn't. There's people who pretend to enjoy it.
Mr. Doctor - 12.09.2009 at 00:58  
I totally second that thought.
Lord_Regnier - 12.09.2009 at 02:42  
I totally agree with the review. I'm a huge Black Metal fan and, even then, I think Striborg is absolute garbage. It's almost unbelievable how bad it sucks.
Completely talentless. Pathetic noise that doesn't even deserve to be called music.

And this comes from someone who loves raw BM like old Darkthrone, Hellsaw, Taake, Summoning's "Lugburz", Winterdemons, Battle Dagorath, Spirit Of The Forest, old Immortal, old Bathory, Ulver's "Nattens Madrigal", old Satyricon, etc.
J. N. - 29.03.2011 at 11:38  
I just listened to "Wandering The Wilderness Of Eternal Misery" for a few minutes, and... It was like sitting at the kitchen sink or a kebab restaurant listening to the meat grinder. It was, pretty much, the same sound.
Boxcar Willy - 01.01.2012 at 17:59  
Written by Warman on 28.09.2007 at 17:46

I gotta hear this!

i was thinking the same thing
Troy Killjoy - 01.01.2012 at 20:46  
Written by Boxcar Willy on 01.01.2012 at 17:59
i was thinking the same thing

If you're still trying to get into black metal, this is really not a good place to start.
Boxcar Willy - 01.01.2012 at 20:48  
Written by Troy Killjoy on 01.01.2012 at 20:46

Written by Boxcar Willy on 01.01.2012 at 17:59
i was thinking the same thing

If you're still trying to get into black metal, this is really not a good place to start.

if its bad i have to hear it.

with the exception of lulu, i have yet to hear a track off of it yet.
Troy Killjoy - 01.01.2012 at 21:19  
Written by Boxcar Willy on 01.01.2012 at 20:48
if its bad i have to hear it.

I personally don't mind Striborg, but it's far from something I'd recommend to people trying to get into black metal.
Stalker - 04.10.2013 at 14:19  
"It is not atmospheric, it is stratospherically boring."

Hahhaha, well, at least the review is great. You made me laugh my ass off

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