Marriage?
Posts: 199
Visited by: 73 users
Original post
Posted by Account deleted, 09.03.2007 - 02:05
This simple word means so many things. Here is wikipedia's definition of marriage :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage
But I am sure that all of you have your own definition of it, and it may differ much. And it would be interesting to hear everything that could be said about marriage. There is as many opinions and things to say about it as there are different forms of marriage, including poligamy .. gay marriage .. etc ..
This idea about creating a poll about it only came to my mind today, for two reasons (I am going to reveal a bit of my private life, but i dont really mind.) :
-Today, my mother came back from a trip, and the first thing she and my father did when she entered the flat was to start an arguement. My parents have been UNhappily married for 19 years, and they started hating each other when my little brother was born, which means 6 years after their marriage. They are staying together for him not to be disturbed too much (he is just 13), some.. "accidents" have already upset him in the past.
-I have just read a paragraph by Nietzsche in his amazing book The Dawn : paragraph 150. I have tried to translate it from french into english... (Sorry for the poor translation ...
) :
"It should not be allowed, when you are in love, to have such a decision, which involves and determines for good, under the power of some violent caprice ( I should stop butchering Nietzsche's work and Shakespear's language...), the nature of the society where we are living in : we should publicly claim worthless the lovers' oath and vows and prevent them from getting married : and this because we should consider it more seriously ! as, in the cases when people got married, it shouldnt have been been decided to get married ! Arent most of marriages such as the precense of a witness is not preferable ? However, there always is a witness _ it is the child _ and he is more than a witness, and I mean, a scapegoat !"
If anyone understands french, i could add the french version here... at least it would be correct
.
-I have just read a paragraph by Nietzsche in his amazing book The Dawn : paragraph 150. I have tried to translate it from french into english... (Sorry for the poor translation ...
) :"It should not be allowed, when you are in love, to have such a decision, which involves and determines for good, under the power of some violent caprice ( I should stop butchering Nietzsche's work and Shakespear's language...), the nature of the society where we are living in : we should publicly claim worthless the lovers' oath and vows and prevent them from getting married : and this because we should consider it more seriously ! as, in the cases when people got married, it shouldnt have been been decided to get married ! Arent most of marriages such as the precense of a witness is not preferable ? However, there always is a witness _ it is the child _ and he is more than a witness, and I mean, a scapegoat !"
If anyone understands french, i could add the french version here... at least it would be correct
. Well, as you could have noticed in the lines bellow, i have a really bad opinion bout marriage. I think people cant love each other all their life. It is human, we need to evolve and meet new people, have different sex partners. And im not even talking about those extreme cases.. when people are forced to marry someone they dont know/like because of some religious believes or other social strictness..etc etc..To conclude, in my opinion, marriage is a burden a man or a women should not carry. In love or not.
Feel free to talk, and please, give arguments
.
Poll
Are you with or against marriage ?
With
64
Against
28
Total votes: 92
| Deus Ex Machina Posts: 1250  |
Written by Bash' on 07.09.2007 at 00:42 LOL, no He just ignores the existence of Google so he spews randomness.
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| Bash' :) Posts: 531  |
Written by Bad English on 07.09.2007 at 00:52 dear it's your right to understand it the right way, it is "allowed - in specific reasons for that", and it is not a must, and actually, it is considered detestable though it is allowed even with reasons..Anyways, for me, and as I see all people around me, family, friends, relatives, neighbours, everyone approximately, all do keep on with the same wife/husband all the time, of course devorces happens seldom... And man! thanks for the asking .. you now got the point clearer I guess.. So don't be rush, you'll be invited for once 
---- I saw her standing by the crimson sea... Isolated by the silent thoughts... Her gazing was intense but so dead... The teardrops corroded the soil.. She couldn't say a word to me...
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| Deus Ex Machina Posts: 1250 |
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| Bash' :) Posts: 531 |
Sorry, what it? If you mean divorces, well actually, since I was a kid, there were two ones, one in my mom's family and the other in my father's family, both with no kids, one of them has been caused by insolvency, the other for the misunderstanding & alittle in-equality.. What about you?
---- I saw her standing by the crimson sea... Isolated by the silent thoughts... Her gazing was intense but so dead... The teardrops corroded the soil.. She couldn't say a word to me...
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| Deus Ex Machina Posts: 1250 |
What was unclear in my post? I asked how often is it to have more wives than one? How often does that happen? Do you know anyone who lives like that, and what does society think about men who do that these days? What do you think about them? About divorce... i really can't think of anyone in my family who's divorced. Weird.
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| Bash' :) Posts: 531 |
I meant it referrance.. No worries, well actually I only heared about one did have two wives, he is a friend of my father, though not that strong relation, but I remembered him as you asked about a multiple wives situations.. Actually this happens so little around, if I excepted that friend of dad, then it's no one!
---- I saw her standing by the crimson sea... Isolated by the silent thoughts... Her gazing was intense but so dead... The teardrops corroded the soil.. She couldn't say a word to me...
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| Bad English Tage Westerlund Posts: 61020  |
Divorce, if ppl think about divorce, better dont get meriaged, and IMPORTANT dont get kids, because devorrce is not for them, wanna more, I need drink and I know some ppl in around who has devorced   
---- I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens. Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''  apos;'[image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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| Deus Ex Machina Posts: 1250 |
@ Decipher - i see now.thank you for clearing it up. And Kariasakis... really... no one wants to get divorced. When people get married it's out of love, and of course they want to have children. But sometimes life just doesn't work out for the best. You're right about it being difficult for the children. But you can't just say don't get married. Why wouldn't they? Of course no one thinks they'll ever divorce when they're in love. Get real. Sometimes divorce is the better solution.
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| Bash' :) Posts: 531 |
I believe that "big" differances will lead to disagreements, even if a couple loved each others at the begining... either social, economical, educational, cultural, ect...
---- I saw her standing by the crimson sea... Isolated by the silent thoughts... Her gazing was intense but so dead... The teardrops corroded the soil.. She couldn't say a word to me...
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| Bad English Tage Westerlund Posts: 61020 |
Written by Deus Ex Machina on 07.09.2007 at 01:44 ...in nowdays ppl ge merry and after one yera devorced, its moustly ppl in age 18-22 and moust of them has kids, nowdays there are no normal realationships, Because ppl think that change partners and hatever are normal, if you live whit one more how year you're looser, thats how it is in nowdays, Yes but kids shood be in age 30 not 20 leither, better,but about devorced, in old days church didnt aloved devorce, so its how it shood be, till death About devorce and kids, watch after 30 yeads Din-Haj and yoy see what I man 
---- I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens. Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;'[image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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| AnGina-- Dark Phoenix Posts: 3555  |
Written by Guest on 12.05.2007 at 00:35 +1! It's the social marks you get. If you break up with someone, that's totally ok, but a divorce... OMFG! When actually it's the same. I don't know why marriage would change anyone; so if you are married for example you are not allowed to cheat, but untill you are, you are allowed to? It's all pure crap. But I guess if the man of my dream wanted to, I would go with it, if I was sure he's the right one. So bascially, I'm not for and not against it. I like it when other people get wed: good food and wine and everything
---- You think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it. Molded by it. I didn't see the light until I was a man. But it was nothing to me but blinding.
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| +{Jonas}+ I R Serious Cat Posts: 4955  |
Written by AnGina-- on 20.10.2007 at 17:23 Well I couldn't agree more. Spite I'm with marriage, it's nothing but a title you get.. a cpouple of nice rings you ca still wear if you're not married, and that's all. It means nothing, as you say, you can't cheat until you do... It wouldn't have to change anyone, spite most of the times it does. Yeah great food and wine, and for free! hehe.
---- "Nobody wants to be the weird kid, you just end up being the weird kid. You don't know how you ended up getting there" - Rob Zombie http://jonas-bs.deviantart.com My dA, mainly photography, go check it out!
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| ChrisFromHell Account deleted |
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| Stalker Lone wanderer Posts: 2705  |
Im with it, but, not particularly interested in it currently. I mean, what could I have against it, noone forces you to do it, so....
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| Bad English Tage Westerlund Posts: 61020 |
Written by Stalker on 05.12.2007 at 23:00 I agree and Im even not interested in GF nowdays but marrige  HELL NO
---- I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens. Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;'[image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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| Introspekrieg Totemic Lust Elite Posts: 2747  |
AKA Legal Prostitution With marriages failing 50% of the time, it seems like a bad idea for men to get involved. Only 15% of custody battles favor the man and support payments are on the rise. Further, during a litigated divorce allegations of domestic violence create additional concerns, especially with hourly rates for divorce attorneys continuing to rise. In the United States, 85% of orders of protections are awarded to females, with only 7% of petitions being denied. In such cases, divorce attorneys generally leverage an assault charge into an order of protection to get the offending spouse (usually the man) out of the home to physically separate him from children and his property. As for the women, I wouldn't want be "given away" and have to promise to "love and OBEY" my husband. And the ridiculous amount of money some people pay for weddings, couldn't you just put that money towards a down payment on a house? Maybe not being in debt will increase the chances that the marriage will succeed. Forget this, I'm going to have a Star Wars themed ceremony for less than $1000 and get to be rescued from frozen carbonite by my strong Princess!
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| Zombie, M.D. Posts: 7390  |
I don't understand why non-religious people get married. I can understand religious people getting married since they're all hung up on tradition/holy sanctity/gods word/whatever but if you aren't what is the purpose? Isn't just being together enough? I'm rarely content with what I bought for lunch when I'm ready to sit down and eat it, I can't imagine making a commitment like that to another human. People can change very quickly and easily. Someone you have known for your entire life can be an entirely different person the next day.
---- "I really screwed up this time." - Jeffery Dahmer
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| Bad English Tage Westerlund Posts: 61020 |
Written by Zombie, M.D. on 06.12.2007 at 01:20 Me to I dunno, maybe some 'safty' or money reasons, but generaly I dont know
---- I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens. Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;'[image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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| Oracle Orcinus Posts: 1425  |
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| Zombie, M.D. Posts: 7390 |
Written by Oracle on 06.12.2007 at 02:18 I don't understand how it strengthens bonds or fortifies love? If you ask me it's just symbolic, expensive and unnecessary.
---- "I really screwed up this time." - Jeffery Dahmer
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| Oracle Orcinus Posts: 1425 |
@Zombie, M.D.: yeah i understand your point but some people like getting married because its just the thing to do when your in love. Imo i dont think its unnecessary.
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| selken Irreligious Posts: 949  |
Nop, Nop, Nop, my current lifestyle does not get along with that, I have seen tens of couples failing, leaving kids destroyed, women abused, constant fights and so. In my country, the first thing that do a married couple is having a kid, NOOOOOOO!!!! way!!!, this is a poor country!! we don't need the money to be split in smaller ammounts, at least HERE in El Salvador, marriage does nothing but mess. The only thing that I see good about marriage is the fact that you'll have company in your eldery, as maybe you had kids and they grew up and gone and you don't want to live alone the rest of your life, that's actually a beautiful part of marriage.
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| Bash' :) Posts: 531 |
Written by Zombie, M.D. on 06.12.2007 at 01:20 For the marriage's assurance, peace, trust & most important security and stability. Isn't it enough when you know that you will have your sons & daughters in your side instantly when you need them? along with your wife for sure. At least you will build and work for your lineage, they will continue, so you will know that your hard working won't be wasted, sons & daughters will always be yours when you need when you become old. Beside, man, family life is wonderful, everyone have his own role, everyone learns from everyone, and so on... why man forbid himself from living the sincere life with people who he/she can trust always... at least that what I think... Still with marriage  [givin conscious couple..]
---- I saw her standing by the crimson sea... Isolated by the silent thoughts... Her gazing was intense but so dead... The teardrops corroded the soil.. She couldn't say a word to me...
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| belisarius Posts: 222 |
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| +{Jonas}+ I R Serious Cat Posts: 4955 |
Written by Oracle on 06.12.2007 at 02:35 That can havce two points of view, one religious, in which teh marriage is a way to make a union with god as witness. Or so they say. And a legal point of view, in which you get your stuff in case of a divorce lol. I personally I'm with it, I have nothing against it, but I'm too young and laid back to even think about a GF.
---- "Nobody wants to be the weird kid, you just end up being the weird kid. You don't know how you ended up getting there" - Rob Zombie http://jonas-bs.deviantart.com My dA, mainly photography, go check it out!
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| owl Posts: 286  |
Written by +{Jonas}+ on 15.04.2008 at 23:53Never too young to get a girlfriend, man.  Marriage. I was once completely opposed to it. I thought it was such a bullshit, that it was only good to humour society and its fake, degradating values. Even though I come from a family with very stable and relatively happy marriages. I had no personal reasons to be against it, I only thought it was a useless contract between two people, and it did nothing to strenghten relationships. Right now I realized I was giving it too much importance. Marriage is only what we want it to be. I'd gladly dismiss it, but I know it would be a big sadness for my old folks if they didn't see me with a wedding ring one day, so I'll have to go through it - for them, and them alone. They'll be the ones to pay the whole party, so...;D My boyfriend says he doesn't mind doing everything 'properly' too, so... As for me, I'll manage to conciliate 'their' way and 'my' way in a celebration that pleases everyone. Hopefully. But in the end I'll just wish the day's over quickly. Bottomline: I think marriage is just the same as any kind of relationship. If there's real love between the both, it doesn't matter if there's a marriage, if you just live together or if you just visit one another when you feel like being together.
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| +{Jonas}+ I R Serious Cat Posts: 4955 |
Written by owl on 16.04.2008 at 17:22 So far I've hed 3 GFs, it was a disaster. I tend to like the weirdest women. So i better not get into anything serious. It's healthier for me, and way cheaper Wouldn't that be a bit... I don't know... OK, your folks want to see you marry, but you could use the party money for something else... like traveling with your BF/Husband... And I completely agree with your final statement. It's not about teh contract or ceremony, it's about teh way you feel. My parents are now... *thinks* 22 and 1/2 years married. And they're still happy. It pretty much is like you said. If there'¡s love, it's not really important if you're married or not. I share your opinion
---- "Nobody wants to be the weird kid, you just end up being the weird kid. You don't know how you ended up getting there" - Rob Zombie http://jonas-bs.deviantart.com My dA, mainly photography, go check it out!
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| Valentin B Iconoclast Posts: 10084  |
i hate it when those damn feminists say "MARRIAGE?NEVER!"(i actually know some girls who say that) i have nothing against marriage, i think i'll marry some girl one day but in about 100 years or something lol(and by marry i mean only do the legal stuff and then off to the restaurant/place to celebrate), but everytime i see some girl whining about the 'stupidity' of getting married, damn, that's like the most nihilist way of thinking i've seen. what the hell is wrong with having a great time with all your folks and friends and a honeymoon of doing crazy shit with your wife/husband?? sure then you have to get divorce if you wanna separate etc. but stability is imo something that everyone needs to have, especially at old age, to have someone by your side.
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| owl Posts: 286 |
Written by +{Jonas}+ on 16.04.2008 at 17:41 I could - and I would - if it was my money. But it will be theirs, and they want to spend it in a party, instead of giving it to me. The shame, I know... 
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| +{Jonas}+ I R Serious Cat Posts: 4955 |
Written by owl on 16.04.2008 at 17:55 Indeed shame. it ddoesn't even have a travel but somethign you need for your house or sth. But oh well. Hwo old are you, BTW?
---- "Nobody wants to be the weird kid, you just end up being the weird kid. You don't know how you ended up getting there" - Rob Zombie http://jonas-bs.deviantart.com My dA, mainly photography, go check it out!
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In ordan you get 4 wife sor only one